Chapter Two:
"What was it like?" Joey asked Yugi a few days later.
That had been how long it had taken Joey to work up the nerve to face Yugi again, alone. For the whole of the weekend, he'd stayed holed up in his room, going over and over again his feelings. More and more memories flooding his head every day. Finally, he'd asked Yugi to stay with him after school and talk on the roof again. He hadn't missed the mix of hope and fear on Yugi's face. They'd come up and sat against the wall of the entrance to the stairs, watching birds flying above the skyline.
"What was what like?" Yugi asked, though Joey was pretty sure he knew.
"The kiss. With Kaiba."
Yugi was silent for a very long time. He started to talk and stopped several times. Finally, he said, "Ever since that day in the Cavern, I've been having memories of our past lives. I know you have. I know Kaiba has."
Joey nodded.
Yugi looked down at his hands. The Oracle had explained to them why Yugi didn't look exactly like Atemu. Unlike Joey and Kaiba, the Eygptian incarnation had existed in part in the Millennium Puzzle, splitting the Soul of Heart a third time. So Yugi had come into a sort of stasis, growing up a little different than his past lives because he had less of himself in one place. Now that Atemu was finally laid to rest, that part of his soul was his again, and he was sure to now fully mature into the looks he'd had in all his past incarnations. Joey could only guess at what Yugi was thinking. He himself wondered how much of who he'd always known as himself was real, how much of it mattered. Maybe it all did. Maybe none of it did.
"I got worried…about him. You and me, this has been so hard and…confusing. But we've had each other to talk to." His eyes flicked up to Joey's. "And since that day on the beach, a lot more. A few weeks ago, I finally reached out to him. To check up on him." Yugi sighed and said, "Maybe it was stupid, but we had each other and he had no one and I just…I didn't like the idea of him trying to go through this alone."
Joey just stopped himself from snorting. Kaiba did everything alone, by design. The prickly son of a bitch hated everyone.
But he didn't snort. He waited.
"He ignored me for a while, but finally he told me to show up at his office, so I did. At first, he just talked to me about that new tournament he was having. The one he made me join to get us out of America after we took care of Dartz, he wanted to erase it with a new one because of how much of a fiasco it turned into."
Joey remembered. He also knew that Yugi was adding details and delaying the point because he was afraid of Joey's reaction. Joey didn't push him.
"Anyway, I was trying to ask him to talk to me about…about everything, but he kept talking over me. I think if he thought he could do Battle City 2 without me, he would, but he knew the King of Games had to be the grand prize." Was that a trace of a resentment in Yugi's voice? "Finally, I got the courage to tell him to look at me and he did. And then we had a flashback of our lives in India, when we stopped Debjit."
Joey remembered that life. The three of them had died together. Hard.
"It was a…happy time." Yugi looked down and twisted his fingers. "I knew he saw it as soon as it was over. The look on his face. He was so angry and…scared. And…I thought I saw something like longing." Yugi sighed and shook his head. "I kissed him. I didn't even think about it, I just leaned across his desk and kissed him. It was…like with you. Like finding something I didn't know I was missing. It was like lightning."
That was exactly what it had felt like that day on the beach.
"I'm sorry, Joey," Yugi said softly. "I know that you and Kaiba… He's a jerk, I know it. It's just that it doesn't matter when I look in his eyes."
"It's okay, Yug'," Joey said.
Yugi looked up. "I don't want to ask anything of you, Joey."
"It must be easier for you," Joey said. "You know, 'cause of Atemu."
"It's really not." As Joey looked down at him, Yugi smiled a little tremulously. "When Atemu was here, it was different. I mean, I knew he was me. Or…I was him, I guess. But it really didn't feel like that. He was like a different person. He had different opinions and we talked to each other and it wasn't any different than any of my other friends except he was a ghost who used my body. Now that he's gone, and his memories are my memories, it's complicated and weird." Yugi was clearly groping for the words. "It feels like I'm an hourglass that's been made too small and years are pouring into me and I'm going to explode."
That was exactly what it felt like. Yugi could always explain how Joey was feeling.
He put his arm around Yugi and pulled him against his side. "This is pretty messed up," he agreed.
Yugi rested his cheek on Joey's shoulder. "But we can get through this together."
There was a very long pause and Yugi didn't continue. Finally, Joey finished the thought. "Together with Kaiba."
Yugi was silent another moment before he said, "Yes. As a friend, if nothing more. He is my friend. I always thought he was."
Because Yugi forgave anything. Always willing to look past the hurt and find friendship. He really was the Soul of Heart.
"But," Yugi continued. "It really is okay if you can't. Whatever that Oracle said, whoever we used to be, we're who we are now. And you and Kaiba…don't work. That's okay."
Joey was silent. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Yugi raised his head and looked at his profile, but didn't say anything. However, he knew that look. He was wanting to say something and holding it back. And Joey couldn't bring himself to say what was on the tip of his tongue either.
Because it was crazy and wrong.
It would never work and Yugi was right; no matter what, they were who they were now.
The memories were of the past, and as Kaiba always said, the past was over.
"Let's go see him," Joey said.
...