Chapter Three – Dead in the Water
Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. -Mary Elizabeth Frye
Dean sat at the counter in the small diner going over the obits in the local newspaper when his attention was diverted by the pretty waitress that walked around where he sat to head into the kitchen. Ummm, he thought, she looked like fun. Too bad Sammy would give him a hard time about wanting to have some fun.
Sam was in one of his moods again about finding their father since they'd left Colorado and Dean knew it wouldn't take much to set him off if he suggested that they take a break… for some fun. Dean sighed as he watched the girl disappear from his view.
Dean understood how much Sam wanted to find their Dad; hell Dean wanted to find him just as bad, but he couldn't produce him out of thin air and they had no real clues as to which direction to head off in on their search. They couldn't find their father right now, but they could work; do their jobs; hunt down evil and take it out. Dean wanted to find their Dad, but he also wanted to take out everything evil he came across along the way.
It hurt Dean to sometimes when he thought about how much Sam wanted to find their Dad just so they could hunt the thing that killed Jess; killed their mother so that Sam could then walk away from him; from this life. Dean wanted to find the thing too, but he also wanted a family. He wanted to stay together, because this life was all that Dean knew; he had been trained to protect the good and kill the bad, and he took that all to heart. It was more than just the missions; the hunts; it was his job; his family; his life.
He wanted so much to end the thing they ultimately hunted, but he also wanted to be with his father and his brother as it had always been. Hunting things; protecting people; the family business. He wanted to be a part of that again.
Dean felt Sam come up and sit down beside him, so he turned his attention back to the waitress in front of him. Man, she had great legs. Legs could be fun; such a fleeting thought Dean said to himself as he sighed and bowed his head. He could feel Sam watching him, so he turned to look at Sam with that Dean Winchester smile back in place.
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Sam could see Dean as he sat at the counter watching the waitresses come and go, but Sam knew he was thinking more than he was just watching; he was remembering something. It was in the way Dean held himself; he was remembering; thinking. Sam couldn't help wondering what dean was thinking about, what he was seeing in his mind's eye.
Dean had always been the one to keep secrets while Sam liked to talk things out. Not Dean, he had been trained early on by their father to keep personal stuff just that, personal. Keep it hidden, compartmentalized, so that you could do the hunt, the job. Dean never talked about his feelings with anyone and that made Sam even more curious about what he could be thinking as he sat there.
Sam kind of smiled to himself as he figured it was probably nothing more than wishing he had some time to go off and have 'some fun' with one of these girls instead of having to listen to Sam piss and moan about losing their father's trail. Sam understood how Dean felt, but Sam also understood how important it was to find their father; so, they could find the thing that had killed his Jess.
Sam shuffled his feet as he walked to let Dean know he was coming back before he sat down at the counter next to him. He was in time to hear another pretty waitress ask Dean if she could get him anything else.
"Just the check, please." Sam answered for him as he turned to see Dean drop his head in defeat and then turn to reward Sam with the Dean Winchester look. Man, the guy was something else, Sam thought.
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Jake Devins watched as his daughter Andrea showed the two agents to the hotel two blocks over. Those two were going to be a problem, he thought. And he didn't need any more problems right now. What with the plans for the lake to end up flowing into the spillway, there wouldn't be a lake anymore; so, he had enough on his plate.
He needed to get those two checked out to be sure they were who they said they were. They didn't seem to know about the plans for the lake and he didn't need strangers digging into the history of the lake, his history.
Those two guys were going to be digging up something that was better left buried, if he didn't put a stop to them as soon as he could. He couldn't afford to lose what family he had left or his job. Yeah, he had enough on his plate.
He didn't need any more regrets; he'd had his share of them. He had his secrets and he knew Bill Carlton shared those secrets, but they didn't deserve the sorrow and regrets they'd both had since losing children. It took him a moment to stop and check himself on that last thought; they didn't deserve the sorrow of losing a child. God that's what had happened to Peter Sweeney's parents; they had lost their child and they didn't deserve that either.
This was all his fault; but he had had no choice. He had to just continue as if he had no idea what had happened in the past. And he needed to keep his eye on those two. Yes, he really had enough on his plate.
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Harriet Sweeney looked on as the two young gentlemen got in their car and drove away from where she stood by the window in her son Peter's room. They had been very nice boys and had seemed genuinely concerned about finding out what had happened to her Peter. She hoped they would find her son or at the very least find out what had happened to him.
Not knowing was worse than if she'd found out he'd run away or had been kidnapped. Although she had her suspicions; she knew in her heart what had basically happened. A mother always knows; and she knew her son was dead; had been dead since the day he'd gone missing. She didn't know how or why or who was responsible, but she had known the instant he was gone.
But she also knew his spirit was restless; had felt it for a very long time now. She held no fantastic illusions that he was an angel in the arms of God or that he was in a better place. She was a logical woman; and she knew her son was dead, and he was restless. She'd tried to tell her husband that over thirty-five years ago, but he had refused to believe their son was gone and her husband had worried himself into an early grave of his own when his search for Peter had taken its toll on his health.
Harried had been alone for a very long time now. She had watched those two boys while they'd been here and she didn't know if they really were Federal Agents or not, but she could feel that they cared about the truth. So, she would pray for them to find out the truth about Peter, good or bad and then maybe Peter could be put to rest.
Yes, it was time for Peter to move on; she needed to go to her own grave knowing that the truth would bring him peace. She wanted Peter to be at peace.
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Andrea sat at the picnic table in the park watching her Lucas as he played with the other children. She was so thrilled that Lucas had finally opened up to Dean and in turn now to her.
She thought of her father and the secrets he'd had to live with these years, and she felt for him, but she couldn't totally forgive him or Mr. Carlton for the pain they'd caused Mrs. Sweeney, Peter's mother as well as themselves for the loved ones they'd all lost. They were young when this had all happened and while she could understand their behavior as children after Peter's death, she couldn't condone their actions after becoming adults as they continued to remain silence about Peter.
But that was done, and her father and Mr. Carlton were both gone, and she had her son back. She knew that even though her father had sacrificed himself for Lucas, it was Agents Ford and Hamill she owed a debt to forever. She laughed…Ford and Hamill…really? She knew the truth now of who they really were, but she'd continue to think of them as they had when they'd first came to town. As Agents Dean Ford and Sam Hamill. Awesome.
"Andrea, dear? What's got you laughing so?" Harriet Sweeney asked from where she sat at the table across from Andrea. She had hoped Andrea would be enjoying their picnic in the park, and she did truly look happy.
"Nothing, Harriet. Just thinking… thinking of Lucas and how happy I am right now. Aren't you?"
Harriet turned to look at Lucas, who waved at the women as he played. "I am very happy." She said as she waved Lucas over to join them in eating. "And as Lucas has recently taught me to say… I'm awesome!" The elderly woman smiled as Lucas ran up to give both women hugs before grabbing a hot dog.
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Sam waited downstairs in the hotel lobby after checking him and Dean out. He was waiting for Dean who was packing up their stuff from their room, so Sam used the time to think; to reflect on the things he'd learned about Dean on this hunt.
Sam had stood back and listened to Dean connecting with Lucas at Andrea's house and talking about what he remembered of what had happened to their mother. Dean had never told Sam that he had seen their mother as she was dying, and Sam had never thought to ask Dean if he had seen anything.
It was a revelation that Sam just realized told him so much more about his big brother. Dean had some memories of their mother and of their father before their mother had died. Dean knew what their father had been like when he'd just been a normal Dad. Granted Dean had been very young, but he had memories that Sam never would.
Sam was a little bit jealous now that he thought about it. Dean knew things that Sam would never know. It wasn't fair Sam thought; but then he realized that Dean also knew the bad stuff too. He'd seen their mother, the fire, their Dad broken. Dean's childhood and innocence had died that same night their mother had. And he had lived every day since with those memories; the good and the bad.
Sam turned as he heard Dean coming down the stairs carrying their duffel bags. He caught his bag as Dean tossed it to him and followed Dean out the hotel's front door. They were off; onto the next hunt; and then the next. But at least now Sam could understand more about why Dean did it; the job; and maybe just maybe he'd hang in there for a while longer; help Dean to do the job. And maybe, just maybe Sam would learn more about his brother… and about himself.
Sam smiled as he watched his brother swagger along to the Impala. He had to admit; the guy was a huge pain in the ass; but if Sam had to have a big brother that was a pain in the ass; then Dean Winchester was the best one to have. The guy was really a great big brother.
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Dean turned around as he walked to the car to see a goofy grin on Sam's face. He knew that Sam had taken in what he'd heard him say to Lucas and had locked it away to bring up at some other time when Sam felt like a chick flick moment. He knew what Sam heard and he knew what Sam was thinking.
He turned back around to hide his own goofy grin as he thought, because he had left Sam alone on purpose for his emo time. Dean had revealed what he did to Lucas knowing full well that Sam would hear 'cause Sam ate that kind of shit up. It didn't take a friggin' genius to read Sam, he thought with a bigger grin. Yeah Sam, I am a friggin' awesome big brother.
AN: Please read and review and let me know what you think. I'm still new at this and want to know how I'm doing! Thank you!