Author's note: Just a reminder that this story is a collection of random, stand-alone chapters of L/L smuttiness that take place after the series finale. Thanks for reading! :)

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Dirty Drinking Night

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On Saturday night, Luke walked up the porch steps of Lorelai's house carrying two grocery bags. They were originally supposed to go to a movie, but she'd called him earlier asking if they could stay in for a drinking night instead, so he had picked up some essentials.

As he let himself into the house, he called, "Lorelai?"

"Kitchen!" she called back.

He walked to the kitchen and found Lorelai rummaging in a drawer as Paul Anka looked on from near the backdoor. Luke set the bags on the table. "What are you looking for?"

"Um, Advil, for later," Lorelai distractedly replied as she continued weeding through the contents of the junk drawer. "I thought I had some in my medicine cabinet but the bottle was empty. I was hoping to find some stray pills floating around in here."

"See, that's why you shouldn't put the bottle back into the cabinet when it's empty," he told her. "You always do that, and then you forget to buy more."

Lorelai pushed the drawer shut and walked over to him with a frown. "Okay, this is not the Chastise Lorelai hour. Let's focus on the more important matter at hand."

Luke kissed her and then apologetically rubbed her arm. "Okay, sorry… what's the more important matter?"

Lorelai tapped her finger on the side of her head. "That I'm definitely going to need Advil later to try to combat the headache that will accompany my future hangover, and I don't have any."

"Got it covered." Luke rummaged through one of the shopping bags and pulled out a bottle of Advil.

Lorelai gasped with surprise, and smiled as she took the bottle from him. "How did you know?"

Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "Noticed you were out a few days ago."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes and shook the bottle at him accusingly. "So that means you were the last person to put it back in there empty!"

Luke smirked. "Technically, yeah, but you did it first." He gestured to the bags on the table. "Here, help me unload… I wasn't sure what you had so I just grabbed a bunch of stuff."

They unpacked an assortment of alcohol bottles and snack foods from the bags, and lined up everything on the counter next to the stove.

To start the evening, Lorelai poured out two shots of tequila, which they quickly knocked back. She then filled two glasses with ice, vodka, and orange juice, and they headed to the living room, with Paul Anka following along. As the dog settled in on his bed in the corner of the room, Luke and Lorelai sat down on the couch.

Luke took a sip of his drink, and his eyes widened as he swallowed it down. "Wow. Guess we're rationing the OJ tonight?"

"Yup." Lorelai ran her hand through his slightly damp hair. "You showered. Got all nice and clean for your girl?"

Luke nodded. "Yup."

Lorelai leaned closer and pressed her lips to his for a soft kiss. "Hopefully your mind is still dirty."

Luke smirked, then took a large sip from his glass before he replied, "Actually, there may have been some dirty thoughts going on in there just a little while ago."

"Oh, yeah?" Lorelai smiled as she ran her hand over his thigh. "About me?"

Luke snickered. "Of course about you."

Lorelai gulped down a third of her drink, then patted him on the knee. "Well? Give me logistics… where, when, how?"

"I was thinking about last week…" Luke's lips curved into a sly smile. "When we were in the shower together…"

Lorelai let out a hum of approval as she grinned. "Mmm, yes… it's not every day that a hot guy presses my wet body up against the shower wall and talks dirty to me." She shook her head slightly. "You were in rare form that day, my friend."

Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "Was I?"

"Yeah, it was so hot." Lorelai sipped her drink, then ran her tongue slowly over her lips. "Do you remember some of the things you said to me?"

Luke smirked. "Yeah, I do. And I remember what you said back to me."

Lorelai ran her hand over his arm, kneading her fingers into his firm bicep. "I'm not opposed to us throwing out some of that talk tonight… how about you?"

"No opposition here."

Lorelai smiled and held up her glass. "Cheers to that." She tapped her glass gently against his, and they both took sips. She placed her glass on the coffee table and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna put on some music," she declared as she walked to the CD player.

Luke sipped his drink and watched her intently as she looked through her stack of CDs. His eyes glazed over her body in fond appreciation of her tight jeans and white tank top that perfectly accentuated her curves. His gaze had already drifted down to her chest a few times that evening, reveling in her decision to go without a bra.

Once the music started playing, Lorelai sauntered back over to the couch and stood in front of him. "I didn't even ask yet… how was your night?" she asked as she picked up her drink from the coffee table.

"Before or after you called and suggested we have a night of - and I quote - dirty drinking?"

Lorelai giggled. "Before. Because I already know exactly where your mind was after that."

Luke smirked. "It was fine, nothing exciting… definitely got better after the call."

"You're welcome," she replied with a shrug.

"How was work?" Luke asked, his voice softening. "Sounds like you maybe had a rough day?"

Lorelai sighed softly and then quickly downed the rest of her drink before she shrugged. "It wasn't like, 'I wanna throw myself in front of a bus' kind of rough, but there was some annoying stuff to deal with that caused some headaches… hence the need for some dirty drinking."

Luke rubbed her arm comfortingly. "Well, whatever stress relief you need, I'm here."

"Thank you." Lorelai leaned down to kiss him, then gestured to his almost-empty glass. "Ready for a refill?"

Luke nodded and quickly finished his drink, then followed her to the kitchen. As he started to make a second round of screwdrivers, Lorelai poured out two more shots of tequila.

"To cleanse our palates," she declared, handing a shot glass to him.

"We're gonna be sick tomorrow," Luke said as he tapped his glass against hers.

"It'll be worth it," she replied, and they drank the shots. Lorelai set her glass on the counter and wiggled her fingers, declaring, "My extremities are getting tingly. That's a surefire sign that the buzz is setting in." She squeezed her pointer finger and thumb together and tapped him on his cheek. "Buzz buzz buzz… like a tiny little bumble bee."

Luke smirked and gently moved her hand from his face. "I get it." He finished making their drinks, then handed her a glass. "Here... I added a little more OJ this time to try to slow down your descent into obliteration."

Lorelai took a large sip of the drink, then gave him a thumbs up. "Tasty." She stepped closer to him and ran her hand across his chest. "Hey, have I mentioned how tasty you look tonight?"

"Nope, and I was starting to feel insecure about it," he said dryly.

Lorelai giggled and kissed his cheek. "Aw, I'm sorry, hon. You look extra delicious tonight."

"Thanks." He slipped his arm around her waist. "Looking pretty good yourself."

Lorelai smiled. "Thank you." She kissed him, then clarified, "But, by pretty good, you mean really hot and super sexy, right?"

Luke smirked and nodded. "Yes, exactly." He rubbed her back and said, "Come on… let's go sit." He started walking down the hall and she followed behind him slowly as she sipped her drink.

As she walked into the living room, she started fanning herself with her hand. "Are you suddenly feeling like it's a thousand degrees in this house?" she asked.

Luke glanced back at her with a shrug. "Seems okay to me." He watched her set her glass on the desk and then start to unbutton her jeans. Luke's eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

"It's so hot in here," she complained as she pushed her jeans down her legs. "I need these off."

"The blinds are open…" He set his drink on the desk and went over to pull down the window shades. "Anyone who walks by can look right in and see you half-naked."

Lorelai stepped out of her jeans and walked over to him. "No one walks by here except for Babette and Morey." She suddenly gasped and her eyes widened. "Oh, my God… I almost forgot, they got this new gnome I wanted to show you." She grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the side door.

As she started to unlock the door, Luke put his hand on it to keep it shut. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on… what are you doing?"

Lorelai frowned and tried to peel his fingers away from the door. "I wanna show you Babette's new gnome. It's wearing a little fisherman's hat."

Luke gestured to her outfit. "You can't go outside like that, no way."

Lorelai glanced down at her tank top and panties, then put her hands on her hips. "Why not? Don't I look cute?"

"Yeah, you look cute," he agreed. "But I don't want anyone else seeing how cute you look, okay?"

"But no one's out there," she said as she peeked out the window of the door. "It's dark and stormy and deserted, like the beginning of a horror movie." She gasped. "Ooh, we should watch a scary movie after we visit the gnome."

Luke put his hand on the small of her back. "Come on, let's go sit... you can show me the gnome tomorrow."

He locked the door and steered her over to the couch. She sat down, and Luke retrieved their drinks from the desk before sitting down next to her.

"It has a fisherman's hat," she said excitedly as she moved closer to him. "It's so cute."

"So I've heard." Luke handed her drink to her, and she drank some of it down. "Careful," he warned her. "Don't overdo it..."

"I'm fine," she insisted, then pondered a moment before she said, "We should go fishing sometime."

"You don't like fishing," he reminded her.

Lorelai poked him on the arm. "No, but you like fishing, and I like you, and I also like snacks, so if I have you and snacks with me, I won't be bored, so I think it can work." She nodded enthusiastically as she added, "We should try it… but we'll definitely need the snacks. Oh, and coffee."

Luke smiled and patted her on the knee. "Yeah, we'll try it sometime."

"Good." Lorelai reached for his hand and placed it back on her knee. "You have my permission to keep it there."

Luke smirked. "Thank you." He began running his hand up and down her leg.

"You're welcome." Lorelai smiled at him adoringly and poked him gently on the nose. "You're cute…"

"Thanks."

"And so good at that," Lorelai added as she nodded toward his hand on her leg. "I like when you're touching me."

"Back at ya."

Lorelai leaned in to kiss him, then gently ran her fingers through his hair. "I think about it a lot." She took a long sip of her drink, then declared, "This stuff is so good."

Luke eyed her curiously. "You think about what a lot?"

Lorelai stood up from the couch and stumbled slightly, then steadied herself by holding out her arms. "Whoa."

"Careful." Luke reached for her hand. "Where are you going?"

"To get more of this," she replied, holding up her glass. "It's half-empty, and I prefer to see the glass half-full… but, like, twice as half-full, so then it's actually full, you know?"

Luke couldn't hold back his amused smirk. "Yeah. Come on, I'll go with you."

He followed her to the kitchen, and he checked to make sure the window curtains were drawn, now that she was half-dressed. Relieved that they were, he stood nearby and watched her refill her drink. She added vodka and orange juice to the glass, filling it up to the very top.

"Oops." Lorelai leaned forward over the counter and sipped some of the drink from the glass to keep it from spilling over.

Luke swallowed hard as his eyes glazed over her body, lingering at her tiny black panties at the top of her long legs. As she stood back up and delicately wiped her lips with her thumb, he moved directly behind her and put his hands on her waist.

Lorelai's motions stilled as she glanced down at his hands, and she whispered, "That feels good."

Luke pulled her body back against his and nuzzled his face in her hair, muttering, "You look so good." He caressed her sides as he moved his lips close to her ear. "What were you talking about before… when you said you think about it a lot?"

Lorelai turned around to face him. "About you touching me… about us being dirty…" She ran her hands over his chest as she added, "I mean, you're not the only one who thinks about our collection of naughty memories. I do, too."

Luke gripped her waist and pulled her closer. "Oh, yeah?"

Lorelai nodded slowly. "Mmhmm. And I think about the dirty things you say to me, like when you…" Her voice trailed off and she glanced down at his hands sliding up her sides beneath her shirt. "Mm, I love your hands..."

"Like what, Lorelai?" Luke urged her to continue. "What do I say?"

Lorelai draped her arms across his shoulders and kissed him softly, then moved her lips over to his ear. "I like when you get really close to my ear like this…" She lowered her voice to a whisper, "And you tell me how much you love being inside me… and how you love how tight I am…"

Luke's cock twitched at her words and he huffed out a breath. "God, Lorelai…"

Lorelai teasingly brushed her lips against his, muttering, "Is that true, Luke? Do you love how tight I am?"

Arousal rushed down Luke's spine like a jolt of electricity and he grunted softly. "Yes. It feels so good." He pressed his lips to hers for a deep kiss, then murmured against her lips, "What about when I tell you how hard you make me? You like that, too?"

"Mmm," Lorelai hummed her approval as she tilted her head back with a groan. "God, yes."

Luke pressed soft kisses to her neck as his finger traced along the waistband of her panties. "I bet you're wet already, aren't you?"

Lorelai widened her stance slightly as she urged, "Touch me."

"I will," he promised. "Soon." He took her hand and started walking backwards out of the kitchen, pulling her along with him.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked with a playful smirk as they headed toward the living room.

"You'll see."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him and cocked her head to the side. "And more importantly… what are you gonna do to me when we get there?"

Luke smirked as he stopped near the staircase and pulled her up against his body. "What do you want me to do to you?" He moved his hands down to her ass and squeezed her cheeks. "Tell me."

"Well, that's a good start…" Lorelai ran her hands over his chest as she mused. "Hm, well... there should be kissing…"

Luke nodded in agreement and gently kissed her. "Got it. What else?"

"Lots of touching…"

"Got it. And?" Luke pressed his lips to the hollow of her neck and sucked on it lightly.

"Licking…there should definitely be licking," she declared, and as Luke ran his tongue over the sea of freckles that covered her chest, she moaned softly. "Mm, feel free to do more licking. We like the licking."

Luke smiled against her chest and then slowly dragged his tongue up her neck to her ear. "Where else do you want me to lick you?" he whispered.

Lorelai responded by taking his hand and moving it between her legs. "Right here." She moaned softly as he stroked her through her panties.

Luke immediately noticed their dampness. "You are already wet," he said, answering his own question from a moment ago. "Did I make you wet?"

"Yes." Lorelai ran her hand over the bulge in his jeans, and squeezed him through the denim. "Did I make you hard?"

Luke groaned at her touch, and he nodded his head. "Mmhmm."

"I want this," she said pleadingly as she squeezed his hardness again. "I want it so bad."

Luke shook his head. "You can't have it yet."

Lorelai frowned at him as she cradled his face in her hands. "Tease."

Luke kissed her, then moved his hands to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. He covered her breast with his mouth and circled her nipple with his tongue, and Lorelai moaned contently. He did the same to her other breast before he kissed his way down her stomach.

Lorelai's heart raced with excitement as he hooked his fingers on the waistband of her panties and pulled them down her legs. Luke reached for the desk chair and pulled it closer, and Lorelai instinctively put her foot on the chair, giving him better access to her sex.

As Luke lowered himself to the floor in front of her, Lorelai leaned back against the staircase railing, draping her arms across the banister for support. With his hands cupping her ass, he began kissing a trail along her inner thigh. She watched him anxiously as he neared her center, her body throbbing with anticipation.

When Luke ran the flat of his tongue along her slit, she moaned loudly and grabbed the back of his head with her hand. She squeezed his hair between her fingers as his tongue began stroking her lips and teasing her clit, trying to make each one of her groans louder than the last one.

Luke spent a few minutes lavishing her sex with attention before he finally stood back up. He helped her regain her footing on the floor as he moved her away from the chair, then pressed his lips to hers for a passionate kiss. "You taste good," he muttered against her lips.

Lorelai distractedly murmured a polite thank you and eagerly kissed him again, entwining her tongue with his as her hands moved down to his jeans. She tried to unbutton and unzip them without breaking the connection of their lips, and after some initial fumbling, was finally successful.

As she began pushing his jeans down his legs, Luke broke the kiss with a breathlessly panted, "Let's go upstairs."

"But the couch is closer," she muttered before kissing him again.

"But there's more room on the bed," he countered as he toed off his shoes.

"More room for what?" Lorelai teasingly murmured, trailing quick kisses across his cheek.

As Luke gently squeezed one of her breasts, he moved his lips to her ear and rasped, "More room to make you come."

Lorelai's body shuddered with arousal. "Mm, good answer. Upstairs it is."

Luke quickly took off his jeans and socks before he gestured up the staircase. "Ladies first."

Lorelai smirked and patted him on the cheek. "Enjoy the view."

"Oh, I will."

Lorelai made her way up the stairs, glancing seductively at him over her shoulder as he followed closely behind. When they reached the second floor, Lorelai started tugging at his shirt, and they both worked to get it up over his head. Kissing heatedly, their hands roamed each other's bodies as they made their way down the hall to the bedroom.

They stumbled into the room and over to the bed, and Lorelai dove onto it head first. She shoved some of the throw pillows aside and settled in on her back as her legs fell open for him. Luke pushed off his boxer-briefs and climbed on top of her, immediately burying his cock inside of her.

A loud moan poured from Lorelai's lips. "Oh, God, Luke…"

Luke kissed her hungrily, savoring that feeling of being completely inside of her. "God, that feels amazing."

Lorelai nodded in agreement as she ran her hands over his shoulders. "Tell me how it feels… wet?"

Luke grunted as he pulled out of her and thrust back in deeply, muttering, "So wet."

Lorelai gasped softly, then clenched her teeth as she muttered, "And tight?"

"Very tight," he confirmed with another deep thrust. "You feel so good."

Lorelai's mouth dropped open as she breathed, "Oh, my God."

"You like that?" he asked as he thrust into her again. "Tell me…"

"Mm, I love it." Lorelai heaved out a few deep breaths, then cradled his neck in her hands and locked her lustful eyes with his. "No one has ever fucked me as good as you do."

Luke groaned as a surge of arousal coursed through his body, and he began steadily thrusting into her with fast, deep strokes. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled him into a kiss, and when their lips separated, she breathlessly panted, "Harder, Luke… fuck me harder..."

Luke grunted as he plunged into her more forcefully, causing her to yelp from the intensity. Lorelai smoothed her hands over his muscular arms, firmly flexed as they supported his body over hers. There were grunts and groans of pleasure as he sawed in and out of her at a rapid pace. They shared quick, tender kisses among the longer, passionate ones that had their tongues intensely dueling for mouth-supremacy.

When Luke pulled out of her and sat back on his knees, Lorelai gasped disappointedly. Before she could whimper in protest about the sudden emptiness, he dragged the head of his cock across her folds up to her clit. Pleasure flashed in Lorelai's eyes as she urged, "Mm, yes, right there, keep going…"

Luke rubbed his head against her, teasing her with slow, gentle strokes. When he started moving faster, her small gasps and moans of pleasure filled the room. She gripped the sheets tightly between her fingers and bucked her hips as she approached her peak. Luke finished her off by rapidly stroking her with his fingers until the pleasure took over her body.

Luke quickly resumed his position on top of her and began thrusting into her fast and hard. Their gazes were locked as she caressed his body and moaned in rhythm with his deep, powerful strokes. Luke was grunting as he delivered his final few thrusts, and he let out a low growl as he spilled his release inside of her.

He pressed his lips to hers for a passionate kiss before he collapsed on the bed beside her. "Oh, my God," he muttered as he rolled onto his back.

Lorelai cuddled up to him and kissed his cheek before she purred into his ear, "You do that so good."

Luke smiled tiredly as he put his arm around her. "Any complaints? Suggestions for improvement?"

Lorelai shook her head. "Nope. I am highly satisfied with the current process."

"Good." Luke cleared his throat as he ran his hand up and down her arm. "So… the next phase of dirty drinking night is what?"

Lorelai glanced over at the clock, then back at him. "Well, the night's still young…" She smoothed her hand over his hair. "I say we grab a snack, have a few more drinks… see where the night leads us?" She shrugged and added, "And if the fates want us to have a round two of dirtiness, who are we to deny it?"

Luke smirked as he nodded in agreement. "Good plan."

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