Chapter 9: The Choice

Dot

A crash of thunder roused Dot from sleep. Her breath caught, the sounds and sensations of the room unfamiliar and disorienting her. Then Bob's scent filled her nose and she pressed her face further into the pillow. She reached out for him and frowned as she found empty space. Her eyes opened. The sheets were cold. She leaned up and found him standing by the window, watching the storm beyond.

Lightning flashed, a long bolt illuminating his form. She sat up straight, the sheets silently slipping from her. He didn't move, gave no indication he knew she was awake. Another bolt streaked by. She saw him clearly, arms crossed and an expression so serious, she almost didn't recognize him. Her heart pounded, fingers grasping the covers like a lifeline. "What's wrong?"

He looked up in surprise. Another bolt crossed the sky and his face was neutral once again. "You should be sleeping."

"So should you… unless I'm making you uncomfortable. I can go," she offered.

He moved beside the bed, tapping her legs to give him room. He sat next to her and turned on the light. She blinked at the brightness and her eyes settled on his bare chest. A blush crept into her cheeks.

"Who's making who uncomfortable now?" he teased with a small smile

Dot laughed softly and rubbed her forehead. "My body won't stop betraying me."

He reached out and pulled her hand away from her face, kissing the palm. "I'll take that as a compliment."

She bit her lip. "Then you're not sorry about tonight?"

He stared at her, something working behind his brown eyes. He slowly shook his head. "No," he said softly.

"…But?"

He sighed. "I'm trying to figure out what to do next."

She turned her hand in his and grasped it firmly. "You don't have to do it alone. We can figure it out together."

He smiled and looked down. "That'll take some getting used to." His thumb traced circles on her hand, sending small shivers down her spine. "I think I need to go back to the SuperComputer," he said quietly.

"Why?" she asked and winced at the sharpness in her tone. He looked at her and she reddened again.

"To tell Turbo the truth, and to resign."

"No, Bob, it wasn't your fault!" He squeezed her hand and she stopped.

"Not about that night," he clarified. "The truth about now. I'm compromised."

She swallowed. "Putting the safety of one sprite over the safety of all?" she repeated Glitch's words. He nodded once, and she scoffed. "Great. I came over here to stop you from losing your format, and all I did was re-enforce you to go. I wouldn't blame you if you regret me ever setting foot-"

Bob cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss that left her breathless. When he released her lips, he rested his forehead against hers. "I will never regret this night, or you, or wherever this goes. I love you," he said firmly. "And that's what scares me. Because if I had to choose between you or the system - any system, the whole spammed Net…" He leaned back and gazed into her eyes, his thumb tracing over her skin. "Dot, I couldn't make the right choice. Because I don't want to lose you."

His voice sounded so sad her heart cracked. For the first time, she saw him questioning his own abilities and the convictions that once seemed so clear. And it was her fault. "I'm so sorry. User above, I wish I'd never found that stupid diary."

"Whether you found that thing or not, I'd still be in this position."

"But it was because of me you were going to leave in the first place!"

"No, Dot. I've been struggling with this since that night." His fingers brushed back a stray strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. "I told myself over and over again that it wasn't real, that my mind tricked my heart into believing a lie. But I loved you the morning after, and every morning after that, and it never went away. And when I had a chance to come back here, I knew I would rather spend the rest of my life near you, as only a friend, than to never see you again.

"I sealed my fate when I took this post. I knew it was a risk, but I thought if I kept my distance, I could make that choice. Now I know I was only fooling myself."

"But why do things have to change?" she asked. "You've already lived with this for so long."

"It's not just my secret anymore. It's one thing for me to lie to User and System; I can't ask you to do the same. I can be with you or I can be a Guardian. But I can't be both. Not anymore. Not now."

All signs of the energetic, fun loving Bob were gone, replaced by a quiet, contemplative sprite she'd never seen before. Even in the most dire situations, he's always had a flippant attitude, as if nothing could unsettle him. Now, he was steady in his resignation.

"You're serious." He nodded once. "Bob, no. You can't end it, not like this. You love it too much. And what would you do? Who would you be if not a Guardian?" She shook her head. "No, there has to be another way. You can't give this up, I'd never forgive myself."

"I can't give you up," Bob said softly. "Not again. I'd never forgive myself."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and dropped her head between them. She took a breath and struggled against the pain blooming in her chest. "So, if you go to the SuperComputer, then what?"

"Turbo will tell me my options, then he'll take my request to the Guardian Council for a final vote."

She turned just enough to peek up at him over her arms. "Options?"

He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well, yeah. Resigning is one, or he might transfer me out of the system until I can be officially released from my contract. Or he might tell me to stay and finish out my time here, no matter what I'm feeling."

"Could he do that?"

"Yeah."

"Is that so bad?"

"Being stuck here with you?" He laughed as she blew a raspberry at him. "It would be hard. Probably the hardest of all," he said honestly. "Because if I get caught, there will be consequences."

"Caught… like tonight?" She looked around, suddenly nervous. "Do I need to go?"

He shook his head. "I think it's a little late for that, don't you? Besides, no one knows you're here, except for Glitch, and he would never tell. But," he sighed, "being out together, that'll be risky."

She pressed her lips together. She hadn't thought about that, but he was right. Now that she had him, she realized in truth, she didn't. Not yet. But wouldn't it be better than not seeing him at all? She wasn't so sure. "What do you think he'll choose?"

"I don't know. It'll depend on a lot of things. And who knows? Maybe he'll give us his blessing and send me back here with a fruit basket."

"But not likely."

Bob chewed on his lip. "No."

"And if you go to another system? How long would you be gone?" Bob glanced at her and his eyes already answered her question. "That long?"

"I really don't know, Dot."

She nodded her head and rested her forehead in her hand. "And all because I didn't listen to you." She noticed his frown. "You told me not to ask you why we couldn't be together. And I didn't listen, because I thought I knew better than you, and I knew we were meant to be together, and of course, it couldn't be that bad, right?" She scoffed behind her hand. "I'm so basic"

"Dot." Bob's voice deepened with seriousness. "It's not because of you. It will never be your fault; do you understand that? If you want someone to blame, blame the Collective and their rules, or blame me. I put us into this mess that first night, and I've only dug us in deeper."

She shook her head. "No, I put us into this mess, when I trusted someone dangerous. You did your job, and you followed your calling." Her eyes dropped from his. "And look what it's cost you."

"Look at what it gave me," Bob answered softly. "You." He cocked a smile, pointing his thumbs at himself. "Winning!"

She tried not to laugh and failed. "You're random, you know that?"

"I've heard."

She touched his cheek. "This is it, then? Gamble on Turbo for a favorable outcome, and live with the results?"

He took a breath. "Do I have any other options?"

She smiled sadly, already knowing the answer. "Whatever happens, I'm behind you one hundred percent."

"I'd rather you be beside me." She blushed, and he chuckled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of that."

"Even when you can't guard a system anymore?"

He pressed his hand against hers. "As long as I have you, none of that matters."

The seriousness in his eyes made her cheeks burn again. "Well, then I guess you should know, I don't think I'll ever get tired of you making me blush."

"Challenge accepted," he replied, voice husky.

The soft baritone rolled over her like a heatwave and her blush spread across her body. She pressed her hand over his heart, butterflies jumping in her stomach when he intertwined his fingers over hers. Her other hand laid flat on his chest and she pressed him back down onto the bed. He went willingly, smiling as her lips descended on his. His arms wrapped around her back and pulled her tight against him. She purred into his kiss, deepening it as she settled across his hips.

"WARNING: INCOMING GAME."

His head fell back into the covers with a groan. "Oh, come on."

"At least it didn't drop during the shower," Dot chuckled as she rolled off him.

"Yeah, that would have been very bad." He sat up and ran to the bathroom for his icon.

"Do you want me to-?" Dot called out to him.

"No, I've got this one. Was Glitch at your place?"

"Yeah."

"Then he'll meet me there." He stepped out, uniform donned. She gave him an appreciative once over, and he smiled. "You should go back to sleep."

She squeezed the covers around her. "Only if you come back to join me." His gaze darkened with anticipation and she shivered. She brushed a kiss across his lips. "Be careful."

"Always. I'll catch you later."

"I'll be around."

He jogged out of the room, and she spotted his form zip away toward the game descending over G-Prime. She gnawed on her lip as she looked around the silent bedroom. The chrono read 0423, a very short time before dawn. She knew Enzo wouldn't be back anytime soon… but Bob might not be, either.

And after their conversation, she didn't think being spotted leaving his apartment would be a good idea. Pulling her clothes from the dryer, she grabbed an extra jacket with a large hood from his closet. She typed a quick memo on the notepad by the bed, then turned off the lights and snuck quietly out into the street, back to her apartment.