IV : Selfish Love

I let myself be completely overwhelmed by the entertainment and noises of New Orleans. It also allowed me to feel energies as Sophie had taught me. The mere use of energies allowed me to stabilize my excessive temperament. It was enough for me to focus on one particular point so that I could forget about my tantrums. At least, that was what I was trying to do. I needed to change my mind and control what I was feeling because right now I was literally on the verge of ravaging everything in my wake with a shout of power. I needed to be able to forget the fact that my former best friend had called me in the middle of the night to ask me for help. Even worse, I needed to forget that I was unable to do anything for him. A conflict also share by Milana simply increasing my frustration. I was so bad right now that I was wondering when I was going to explode. I was a real time bomb and the elements were my only way to calm down.

Nevertheless, it seemed the least of my worries. I was more ravaged by the fact that I felt guilty. Guilty of fleeing Mystic Falls without really worrying about Stefan's fate. Guilty of leaving things where they ended with the vampire. And guilty because I could not go back. And that was nothing when Milana decided to add a few more memories and troubling dreams to the mix. Indeed, I had woken up in a heap of sweat earlier. And for quite another reason this time. It was not a dream or a nightmare. It was ... well, it was a memory of Milana that I could honestly live without have it. Especially since it was ... well, very intimate. And with ... ew, Klaus.

Anyway, I ... I could not believe I was going to say that but I probably had my first erotic dream. And with Klaus at that. It would seem that Milana and Klaus were not just platonic lovers as one might think. After all, the wedding was all back then and you'd think that being Elijah's wife, it was with him that she had lost her innocence. But obviously, it would seem no.

That's why I've been on the streets of New Orleans since this morning. I just could not forget this dream and the tension currently circulating in my members had the gift of making me crazy.

Sexual tension.

This was what Milana was telling me to obviously taunt me by making me perfectly understand that it was nothing since I still had not activated my curse. It would seem that the frustration was much worse then.

Anyway, it was not really something I really wanted to think about now. Hence the reason why I tried so hard to absorb the energies around me. Everything was better than thinking back to my ancestor and the monster lying ... the forest and the pleasure ... ew.

At that moment, I really hated Milana.

"Well, if it's not a lovely surprise."

I froze in spite of myself with the somewhat familiar voice before turning slowly on my heels just to instantly feel the itch in my fingers to hit my forehead at the sight of the boy of the other day. The latter wore this famous smirk, letting me wear a haughty expression in my turn as I watched him for a moment in silence. Today, he had opted for a simple denim shirt covering his long trunk built with raw jeans.
His sand-blonde hair was capped in little curls worthy of an angelic being, and his prominent cheekbones seemed to stand out more. Once again, I found myself accepting on my first impression.

He was divinely handsome. And hot!

I almost instantly shuddered at the mere thought of my hormones before raising my eyes on the blond to his curious question."Something wrong? "

"Mhm?" I was visibly taken by surprise before I shook my head in realization as I narrowed suspiciously my eyes on him to cover my first embarrassing reaction. "Do you follow me?"

"Whoa, paranoid much?" He arrogantly commented, making my jaw tick off in the boredom of a new blond smile. "I was going to the record store when I saw this sublime little reckless witch with an easily suspicious temper."

I squinted at him distrustfully before suddenly feeling the need to prove him wrong. "I wouldn't be so suspicious if you didn't behave like such a creep."

"A-a what?" The blond exclaimed in shock before signing his chest with a visibly amused smile."I'm a what now?"

"You heard me very well." I replied confidently before giving him a condescending glance. "I don't even know what your name is. As far as I know, you could be a psychotic."

A new light flew across his blue ocean irises as he widened his smile before reaching out his hand in my direction. "In this case, my name is Kaleb."

"Mila." I agreed reluctantly as I just ignored his handshake attempt.

Kaleb smiled all the more amused as he gave me a long, observer look at my whole form. I could strangely feel a new urge of energy along my limbs as Milana's dream resurfaced in my mind.

That was enough to warm my cheeks a bright red before giving an exaggerated look at the blond as I realized that there was something for the sight of his eyes satisfied. "You ... can we know what you're doing?"

"Me ?" Feint in innocence allowing me to shrink my eyes on him again.

I focused more on my boredom as I could suddenly feel Milana's desire coupled with my frustration. It seems that my alter-ego seemed to find Kaleb equally to her liking. A little too obviously because I could now feel my limbs quiver at the strange and almost frightening desire to touch him.

I immediately turned my eyes away from these thoughts before quickly clearing my throat in an attempt to escape. "Well, Kabeb, I have to go. Bye. "

"Wait! "

I froze at the feeling of his hand on my arm holding me up forcing me to drop my eyes wide on his wide hand covering my wrist before swallowing to the redness amplification along my cheeks and neck to present. I licked my upper lip in a feeling of heat all along my body before timidly raising my eyes to connect my eyes with the one visibly pleased with Kaleb.

Honestly, I did not know what was happening to me right now, but one moment Kaleb and I were in the middle of the street and the next I released a sharp breath as he slammed me against the brick wall of an alleyway adjacent before taking my face between his large hands to press his lips against mine in a feverish kiss. It was my second real kiss after the one I had shared with Damon and to say that it had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Actually, Kaleb was doing a really good job to totally and completely making me forget about the vampire. I focused only on the energy overload he gave me and the warmth of his body against mine. His hands were everywhere, my neck, my chest, my hips, my back and finally my buttocks. I let out a little cry at the feeling of his hands pinching my buttocks allowing him access. I felt totally melt as I gave him total control. I could feel his tongue exploring every corner of my mouth sending me in a turmoil of emotion totally unknown to me.
Nevertheless, I could not deny that he gave me intense pleasure. It was definitely something I could get used to.

I did not care where we were or even that I knew absolutely nothing about him at the moment as I uttered a small grunt hungry at the feeling of his lips sucking against a sore spot behind my ear. He let his tongue slip slightly under my jaw, letting me throw my head back in a sigh of ecstasy.

Unfortunately it was before a sudden buzz in the back pocket of my jeans broke the trance, I was in. I soon replaced my satisfied gaze with a frown before suddenly placing my hands-on Kaleb's broad shoulders. I pushed him slightly to break our languorous kiss before lowering my head to catch my breath.

The wizard seemed just as breathless as he rested his forehead against mine in confusion. "W-why ... did you stop? Something is wrong?"

I honestly felt like swearing in indignation as the buzzing persisted, letting me straighten out before giving an apologetic look at Kaleb. I leaned against the wall to retrieve the object of my interruption before amplifying my frown at the sight of Alaric's identifier. The teacher was the only one who did not call me during the summer and for a very good reason. First of all, he was just as grieved as our entire family after Jenna. Then he seemed the only one to really understand the meaning of flight and the desire to get away. After all, I was pretty sure he wanted to get away right now since he seemed to have been on our couch all summer long.

Anyway, he had the gift of erasing any trance I was in previously. I even found myself feeling guilt as I realized how much I had neglected to think of my family members lost in the last few weeks.

"Mila?"

I did not know the blond's questioning tone as I raised a finger to tell him to wait before turning my attention back to the name of Alaric blinking again on my screen. Clearly, he seemed insistent in his attention to contact me. In a last moment of indecision, I gave Kaleb a look before giving a slight sigh as I pushed myself from the wall to get away from the blond in order to answer.

"Ric? "

As before with Damon, a long silence greeted my answer just before Ric's gritty and deep voice resonated on the other side of the call."Mila. It's really you."

"Well, unless you know another Mila ..." I left my sentence suspended with a feeling of awkwardness before instantly feeling a sense of relief at the agreement of a breath of laughter."Ric, it's nice to hear you. "

"Really? Because I heard that you seemed to have a tendency to hang in the face of those with whom you spoke."

I winced at this little reminder totally against my will before scratching clumsily the back of my head in search of an excuse. "Yeah about that-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. I too would like to hang on to Damon's nose if I had the opportunity." The professor said with a slight undertone in his tired tone.

I instantly frowned in a bad feeling before leaning against the nearest wall. " Why ? Something happened with Damon? "

"Damon ... well, Damon is a pretty complex person, as you know." Alaric replied seriously, presaging nothing good. "He's probably with your sister when I'm talking to you. They are all trying to pretend everything was fine after their failure in Chicago. They found Stefan but he refused to go back with them."

I wrinkled my lips at the mention of the missing vampire all summer long before nibbling the inside of my cheek. "Still no sign of him?"

"Well, he left a lot of mutilated bodies behind him but ..."

"Yeah, I know." I sighed knowingly. "He's a reaper so. Klaus transform him into what he hates the most in vampirism."

A new silence resurfaced between us as I was content to take advantage of the harmony of his stable and, above all, very lively breaths before he spoke again. "I shouldn't have called-"

"No, no, no, Ric!" I interrupted quickly, straightening up as I really realized the scope of my actions.

I had mastered the ostrich practice all summer and it was incredibly cowardly and unfair to me. I had the opportunity to do what I wanted, when I wanted it without worrying about others. Hell, Felix had activated his curse by killing his father and I was not even there for his first full moon. I could feel Milana's instant objection perfectly, but I knew I was right. I had left Damon after accepting his love and the fact that I felt more than just acceptance of him. I had even let Jeremy deal with all this new process of mourning. And even worse, I had not even worried about Stefan's situation at the hands of Klaus.

I suddenly felt like I had become Katherine and I hated it. To care about others was literally the only thing I knew best. I was there for my friends. I was there for Caroline's transformation, I was there for Felix and Tyler and I was there for Stefan during one of his weakest moments. I had promised that I would always be there every step of the way and I had shamefully broken that promise.

At this realization, I suddenly released a deep tired sigh rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry, Ric. I have not been there and-"

"It's better like that." Interrupted Alaric, making me open my eyes again in surprise and listen."Listen, Mila, I ... I mean, Jenna spoke so often about you that I felt like I knew you even before I really meet you. And believe me, Mila, you were better away from Mystic Falls. Jenna would have hated if you'd given up that opportunity because of her death. "

I left a bitter laugh at this mention of opportunity before shaking my head completely forgetting the presence of the wizard or even our previous activity at this stage. Besides, I took a quick look at my shoulder just to raise my eyebrows at the sight of the completely empty alley. I scanned the gap a little longer before just shrugging my shoulders as I looked up at the gray sky. It was still hot and humid as I could feel the perspiration seeping into the fabric of my clothes despite myself. It was a time worthy of New Orleans.

Nevertheless, that did not prevent the deep sense of guilt from infiltrating each of my pores."Yeah? Well, I feel like a selfish brat. "

"Okay, maybe you were a little selfish. After all, you left me alone to handle Damon. And the guy can literally be a pain in the ass."Accepted Alaric with a slight laugh to ease the situation making me smile in spite of myself.

"Yeah? I can only imagine how unbearable he must have been." My statement was suddenly greeted with a sigh, letting me frown again."Alaric, what are you not telling me?"

A new silence.

In spite of myself, I tightened my grip on the phone as I could feel a bad feeling again charging along my veins. Conversely, Milana seemed totally and irrevocably annoyed by our topic of conversation. Obviously, she did not feel an ounce of consideration for my childhood city or even its inhabitants.

"I'm worried, Mila." Ric finally admits, letting me wrinkle my lips as I walk a little further into the alley in the stimulation. "I'm worried about Damon. It's like things have changed between Stefan and Damon, and their roles have been reversed, and so on. I'm really worried about him, Stefan killing Andie was-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Stefan killed Andie?" I interrupted sharply with an outraged and slightly panicked look. " What's happened ?"

"Yeah, I guess you didn't know." Ric gasped, obviously regretting the disclosure of this fact before sighing wearily. "It was the night of your sister's birthday. Stefan wanted to get a message across. He killed Andie to prove his point."

I immediately lowered my eyes on the end of my sneakers in thought. "He's trying to prove that he's gone to the wrong side."

"He's gone on the wrong side, Mila. You should have seen the bodies he left behind ... they were- "

"Stefan is still here." I asked in a strangely certain feeling before squinting my lips as I realized it was not coming from me. "I'm sure of it now."

"Huh?" Alaric asked visibly confused by my last statement.

I did not know the professor's reaction as I bathed in Milana's certainty since Stefan seemed to be the only one that she moderately valued. The fact that he was with her former lover let me suppose that it had more to do with her interest. In any case, she cared enough for him so that I did not have to fight constantly with her.

"Anyway, don't think Damon has gone on the right side." Alaric suddenly resumed with a sudden burst of obvious anger at the vampire's attention. "That bastard killed me, Mila. He's snapped my neck because I was pissing him off with the fact, he doesn't appreciate being told what to do anymore."

Alaric went on to explain to me what was going on with the big problem of Caroline and Carol Lockwood drugging her with the vervain before delivering her to the blonde's father since he also seemed aware of the existence of vampires. Worse, he seemed like an even darker version of Uncle John since he had tortured his own daughter before she was saved by Sheriff and Tyler.

Anyway, Damon had wanted to kill the blonde's father and obviously Alaric was against, driving him obviously to his death.

I finally let out a deep sigh, leaning my forehead against the brick wall. "I suppose you're still alive thanks to the Gilbert ring?"

"Yeah but getting killed still suck." Ric muttered, letting me wince in agreement.

"I'm sorry you must have been a collateral damage to the vampire's rage." I gasped feeling strangely compelled to apologize for his behavior as with a mother and her child.

A fact that Alaric seemed equally conscious as he made an objection sound. "You're not the one to apologize here, Mila. You were not even in town."

"Exactly." I intervened suddenly silencing the professor knowingly. "We both know that it's because I'm not here that he's completely derailed. Usually he comes to my room and I let him ventilate his worst murderous ideas. And I was away all summer long. This coupled with the situation with Stefan is ... well ... "

"At the risk of repeating myself, you shouldn't have to deal with this kind of responsibility, Mila." Alaric admitted in a contrite tone. "To be honest, I was relieved to know you off this summer. I wish Jeremy and Elena could do the same. "

It gave me a moment to think about my summer. Aside from the strangely intense moment and only driven by my hormones of earlier, I was not sure that this summer away from Mystic Falls was the brightest idea. Considering that I was currently part of a witch community and I regularly bartended vampires, I was not sure that was the best idea I had. And even then, I was not sure to find the moment earlier with Kaleb as another mistake. I was still somewhat confused on this subject.

Anyway, I gave a tired little sigh before resuming the thread of conversation for the sake of it. "How's Jeremy? "

"He works at the Grill. I think he misses Bonnie since she spent the summer with her father."Alaric explained, letting me shake my head as I ventured back into the busy streets of New Orleans.

I let the music and the sound of the trumpets soothe the tension in my shoulders and smooth the folds between my eyebrows. One thing was certain, Mystic Falls was still a great source of stress for me and although I was not particularly keen on going back, I knew I could not hide anymore. It was time I stopped running like Katherine. I was not like the vampire and it was time for me to stop it. One thing was certain, the vampire must have had a good laugh no matter where she was.

"I guess it's better in a way." I sighed, suddenly passing Sabine's tourist shop, one of the elders, forcing me to shake my hand awkwardly in her direction. "Bonnie deserved a break after the last year."

"And you didn't do it maybe?" Alaric replied, rhetoric.

I winced at his argument before nodding. "I guess you already have your opinion on the question."

"As a matter of fact yes." Replied Alaric, letting me imagine his sharp eyes on me. "I preferred to snap my neck rather than see you again involved in the supernatural world. "

I narrowed my lips with a warm feeling in my chest coming from myself and Milana to the consideration of the former vampire hunter. I must admit that Alaric had always been a figure to whom I felt a deep sympathy. While our debut had not been the most fabulous given that I instantly judge the teacher suspects but he proved himself more than trustworthy after that. Not to mention that he had been the reason for Jenna's happiness for a while and I was sincerely grateful for that. Even if he had contributed to the situation she was in now. I did not think Jenna regretted her relationship with Alaric. But again, it was another of the many unanswered questions Jenna had left behind.

"You know I'll have to go home." I recalled with serious and slight annoyance from Milana. The least we can say is that she was not very excited about returning to my childhood city. "The year will soon resume and I have yet to finish my studies. Certainly, as a teacher assistant but I still cannot leave high school. Not yet, at least. "

"On this subject, did you already apply to one of your high school teachers?"

I frowned, realizing that I had a lot of things to finish before I returned to Mystic Falls before pitifully admitting that no, I had not really dealt with this problem.

Only, I certainly did not expect Alaric's almost nervous and anxious return. "Good, because ... well, I thought ... well, since we already have a connection ... and you like history ... maybe you'd like to ... help me out?"

"You ... offered me the job?" I exclaimed in unexpected surprise before posting a wide, relieved smile. "Honestly, it'll take a thorn out of me, Ric."

"But there is a counterpart." This time, I changed my smile for a frown in mistrust. "I think you should stay in New Orleans again for a while. You could go back only for the return? You still have a few days left. Enjoy your last moments of adolescence."

"Ric-"

"I'm serious, Mila." The dark brown professor insisted with determination. "I don't really want to see you in the middle of this chaos. And I know you're going to have trouble managing the situation without Stefan. "

I swallowed at the mention of my former best friend still in Klaus' prey. I knew that Milana had a different opinion about the original hybrid but I knew better. He was pure evil and I was not going to let myself be influenced by her dreams. Because in addition to giving a clear warning about my plausible future, Milana obviously had to try to reconnect me with her former lover. Obviously she was dying to see him again, just like Elijah and the rest of the Mikaelson family to a certain extent. But I could not let myself have her perception. Clearly, she knew only the human family. She did not know that her horrible actions were insignificant mistakes compared to the numbers of bodies that the Originals had left behind.

Once again, I could feel her deep disagreement but I just ignored her again as I focused on the conversation with Ric again. "Fine, I'll reserve a ticket only for the first day of school. "

It only remained to enjoy my last days in the Big Easy hoping it was not my last days of peace of the supernatural.