Chapter 8
Middle November 2015
Emma stood on a small stool, arms straight out to the sides, parallel to the floor, while Johanna and Astrid flitted around her. She felt kind of like a scarecrow with the way she was holding her arms, except the birds were landing and had sharp claws. In reality, she was being fitted in her new dress that Johanna was making for her to wear to the Holiday ball. Having a dress made for a special occasion had been a topic of conversation growing up between her, Ruby, and Ashley, but until now something to wish for, not expect.
As girls who grew up in a home run by the state, they hadn't had many opportunities to date. Add that to the fact that the home was in a part of town that had seen better days meant their choices were slim. And then after the Neal debacle, she had developed a fear of being treated poorly by males in the area and had raised her standards even higher. What, or rather whom she had grown up wanting was the one thing she never thought she could have and yet, somehow, he was hers. How, she asked herself every day, had she gotten so lucky? So lucky, in fact, that she often wondered when she would wake up to find it had all been a dream.
"You can lower your arms," Johanna muttered around the straight pins in her mouth as she smoothed her hands along the waist and straightened out the hem. "You're going to wear a corset with this, right?"
"Yes," Emma mumbled, "although I don't know why. It is not comfortable."
"That's true," agreed Ruby, "but Killian will have a really good time removing it." She laughed at the perturbed look on Emma's face. "I know a cat who swallowed the cream behavior when I see it."
Emma stuck her tongue out at Ruby as she watched Johanna titter around the hem and Astrid's face turn red.
"It's cat who swallowed the canary," Johanna corrected Ruby's idiomatic usage.
Ruby laughed, "Oh, I know," she pretended to study her nails, "I think my point was made."
Johanna looked over at Astrid for an explanation, and not wanting to discuss Ruby's twisted sense of humor, Emma let out the breath she was holding when Astrid turned the conversation back to her dress.
"What shoes are you wearing?" Johanna asked as she lifted the hem allowing it to float softly down.
Emma winked at Ruby, "My glass slippers."
"Oh, that will be..." Then she realized what was said and looked up, her eyes twinkling.
"The black pumps," Emma conceded. Astrid set the shoes in front of her and, stepping off the stool into them, she waited for the hem to be pinned.
Johanna sat back and looked over the dress before slowly walking around her. "Ok, that's it. I will have it ready for a final fitting when you are here for Thanksgiving. Will that work?"
Assuring her that would be perfect since the dance would be the first Saturday in December, she had Astrid unzip her before leaving to put on her jeans and a sweater. Zipping her boots, she went to find Ruby. "Is Ashley meeting us?" She asked when she noticed Ruby slipping her phone in the pocket of her jacket.
"She is," she beamed. "Sean just came home and is watching the baby so she will meet us at Copley Square."
After they said goodbye to Johanna and Astrid, she followed Ruby out of the house toward the T. "Copley's a big place, Rubes."
Ruby smirked, "She's meeting us at Victoria's Secret. I haven't seen Victor in a week and I thought maybe I'd get him a surprise."
"Oh, you." Emma grinned at her as they hurried through the gate, "Always thinking."
cs~cs~cs
Taking a break from his last paper for the semester, one on 3D imaging techniques, Killian opened the closet to investigate the Rhett Butler outfit that Emma had chosen for him to wear to the Ball. Pulling out several hangers, he saw that the first one had a long light brown quilted jacket which felt soft and wasn't as heavy as the leather duster he had worn at Halloween. The second had black trousers and a vest and the third hanger held a shirt with an oversize collar, voluminous sleeves and ruffled cuffs. Wrapped around the hanger was a large buckle, black leather belt and a patterned cravat that he had no intension of wearing. Emma liked his chest and he fully intended to allow it to breathe.
Once he had assured himself that everything was as it should be, he hung the clothes back on the hangers, put them back in the closet and, settling back on the bed, picked up his laptop. He had just typed a few lines when his phone pinged and he picked it up to check the messages.
Liam: You busy? If not, call me.
Killian read the message and tossed his phone aside. Did he want to talk to Liam? On one hand, yes. He missed his brother, but not the man who inhabited his brother's body these days. He missed the brother that he had grown up idolizing and followed around and wanted to be like. The last time they had spoken hadn't exactly been contentious, but bordered on uncomfortable because Liam refused to allow him to talk about Emma.
Feeling like he was in a bit of a bind, as he wasn't in the mood to work on his paper, Robin wasn't home for him to annoy, Emma was busy, and his younger brother guilt was yelling at him, he picked up his phone and hit Liam's name.
"Hiya, little brother," Liam boomed.
"Liam," Killian responded hearing reserve in his tone. "How was London?"
Liam went on to tell him about the trip to England he'd taken with Nemo during November and how it essentially was uneventful. They had taken care of everything they needed to handle and visited a few friends, finishing in time to fly to Austria for a little skiing.
"So how have you been, Killian?" Liam asked as he finished sharing his trip information.
Killian wasn't sure if his brother really cared about the most important thing in his life so he started out sharing superficial information about school and friends. From there he moved on to talking about the Halloween party that he and Emma had gone to at the Home, and how they had ended up spending most of the night in the hospital waiting for a friend of Emma's to give birth.
"So, you're still seeing this Emma?" Liam's voice came out clipped causing Killian's antennae to tingle.
"Aye," he admitted. "I love her, Liam, and would like the two of you to meet."
Liam didn't say anything for so long, Killian was wondering if they had been disconnected. Eventually, he heard his brother sigh, before answering noncommittedly, "We'll see. What are you doing for your Christmas break? You should have several weeks off, right?"
Killian shoved his disappointment down. "I believe we have off about a month, why? Can you come up for Christmas?"
"Oh no, Killian. I'd like you to go skiing with me. We can spend Christmas at the home in London and New Year's in Switzerland. Wine, women and skiing."
Obviously, Liam didn't hear or care about his feelings for Emma because if he had he wouldn't be tossing out ideas to separate them for long periods of time. Thinking perhaps he should change the direction of the conversation, he asked about Nemo. "Why don't you take Nemo with you?"
Liam chuckled, "I think Nemo has met someone. He was acting differently right before we left for England, on the phone quite often while we were gone, and since we've been home he's never around. When I tossed out the idea of skiing, he said he had plans but I should go ahead."
"Maybe he's working on some kind of deal," Killian offered absently.
"No," Liam, brushed him off, "it's a woman. I'm just curious as to what type of woman can put that big of a smile on his face. She must be a tiger..."
"Stop right there, brother," demanded Killian, laughing. "That's not a thought track I wish to take. Listen, I need to go, as I have a paper to finish."
"I can't change your mind about skiing?" Liam asked again.
"No, brother. I'll be with Emma and we'll be spending time with the kids at the home."
"What's this Emma's last name again?" Liam asked him sharply.
Not giving it much thought, Killian muttered, "Swan. Her name is Emma Swan." Hearing the door open and hoping it was Robin with dinner, he finished the conversation and hung up.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was held at the Home and was everything Emma had always dreamed it could be. She had all of her close friends nearby and with Killian in her life, she had inherited his friends and family too. While his brother and their friend, Nemo, weren't around, she had gotten to meet Robin's father, Marco, and the stories he had told about Killian and Robin had shown her another side of the man she loved. One of a caring and empathetic friend.
Once the Thanksgiving meal was over, and order had been restored, everyone had scattered throughout the house. Graham had led the way to the TV room where several were watching American Football and Emma could hear them yelling at the television, and each other, periodically.
Killian had taken Marco with him and they were supervising a group of the kids playing video games, and Robin was sitting across the room, watching it all. Having seen his dessert plate, she figured he was probably letting his stomach settle from one too many pieces of pie.
Ashley's baby, Alexandra, had just woken from her nap and most of the women had surrounded her and were peppering the new mother with questions. As the conversation moved from one topic to another, Emma let herself dream that perhaps one day a holiday such as this could be held at her house. It didn't take too much imagination for a picture to form in her mind of Killian as her husband and a child or two of their own, but before it could develop further, she was jostled back to the present by Elsa standing to leave their circle.
"Robin looks like he could use some company," she whispered and moved away from the group. Catching Killian's eye across the room, she grinned when he winked and blew her a kiss. It's perfect, she thought, as she turned back to the conversation in front of her.
~~~CS~~~
Robin relaxed after enjoying his second, or was it his third piece of pie and watched the activity around him. Since that fateful day when he had found Emma's drawing of Killian and it had led him to Elsa, they had become friends. They behaved like parents who were overseeing their children's relationship and because both were unattached, often ended up acting as a date for the other when needed. Once they both realized there would never be any romantic feelings between them, their friendship had flourished, as it completely removed any pressure to be someone other than themselves.
Robin had been enjoying watching his father interact with all the children who lived in the Home, especially Roland, who had become special to him. It was apparent by his father's behavior that he was having a good time and Robin wasn't sure he had ever seen him smile so much.
He was pleased that his papa had flown to Boston for a few days. He just wished Killian's arsehole of a brother had made the effort to fly up for the holiday. While Killian hadn't said much, he knew it bothered him that his family hadn't wanted to meet his Emma. If he had felt about a girl the way Killian felt about Emma, he was convinced his father would move heaven and earth to make her part of the family.
Currently, the only female in his life happened to be his very good friend Elsa who after extricating herself from the group surrounding the baby was heading his way. "Had enough baby talk?" he smiled at the way she wrinkled her nose at his question.
She relaxed onto the sofa and leaned her head against the back before answering, "I love babies as much as the next person, but when they started discussing diaper habits I decided my stomach couldn't handle that just yet."
They sat there in companionable silence until Marco burst out, "You did it, my boy! You beat me!" to Roland who was standing next to him wearing a huge grin.
"Did you see that?" He called to Robin. "This boy is a fearsome competitor."
Robin smiled indulgently, "I saw that, Pops. Going for a rematch?"
"But of course," Marco's smile took in everyone, "shall we my boy?" He posed the question to Roland, who had his game controller ready to go, finger over the button. Roland flashed a grin Robin and Elsa's direction and pressed start, causing Marco to have scurry to catch up.
Robin chuckled at his father's concentration on the game. "He has no clue what he's doing," he confessed to her out of the side of his mouth.
"Ahh, be nice. He looks like he's having a good time," Elsa shushed him.
"He is," Robin hummed. "And the best part is he won't care if he loses."
"That is a plus." Elsa laughed, turning back to watch the game.
Thinking maybe she had relaxed enough for him to bring up the Faces Through Time Holiday Ball, he turned toward her and laid his arm along the seat. "Have you given any thought to whom we should represent?"
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, "I have a few ideas. You?"
He smirked, "I do have a few ideas."
"Why is it that I'm not sure I like your tone of voice?"
He laughed at her, holding his hands up in surrender. "No reason. But maybe we should come up with a way to agree, if we disagree."
Elsa frowned at him, "What did you have in mind? Rock, paper, scissors?"
"Oh, that's perfect. I'm glad you suggested it," he smirked at her. "I believe I'd like more pie. Care for anything?" When she declined he walked away whistling.
Early December – Faces Through Time Holiday Ball
Walking into Albert Hall, Emma felt she had truly become the beautiful swan she had envisioned for herself, so long ago. And tonight, it seemed she had all the components needed to make her feel the evening would be truly magical. She was attending her very first ball with a magical theme that allowed imaginations to run wild. And her new red satin ball gown with a fitted bodice and long sleeves fit perfectly. She couldn't help adjusting the full circular skirt, letting it float around her as well as admire the sweetheart neckline that narrowed to a basque, or V waist. And, best of all, she was on the arm of a man who looked at her in ways that one minute made her heart melt into a puddle of goo and the very next minute made it flip over from excitement.
The hall had been decorated in a manner that only enhanced the aura that surrounded the magical night. The students studying art and design had managed to convert a plain rectangular room into a place that transformed graduate students and professors into figures that appeared to have stepped from pages of a novel or from the screen of a movie. Spanning time, worlds, and genres, characters were brought to life and for one night and were united in celebration.
The romantic glow in the room was created by a multitude of miniature white lights that glittered across the ceiling and were draped on various objects throughout the room, each depicting a diverse time or place. There were streetlights from England, statues from Rome and Italy, castles from Camelot and the enchanted forest, trees, arches and gates, all serving to make one feel as if they were entering in and out of the pages of a book. Which she did, she thought, so they had certainly succeeded.
Rimming the room were round tables seating ten or twelve, covered with gold cloths and centerpieces that, once again, depicted different themes. The center of the room was reserved for dancing with a small orchestra providing the music, and the food buffet and bar lined the back corner. More glamour in one place than she had ever imagined there would be.
The Ball was being presided over by one of Killian's Professor's, Maurice French, who was dressed for the evening as King Midas. Happy that the line snaked parallel to the festivities, Emma watched everyone who had arrived earlier appeared to float around the room. She could see individuals dressed as Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Isolde and Tristan, Romeo and Juliet, Anne and Captain Wentworth and the list went on. So far, she hadn't seen anyone else dressed as they were, which she hoped continued.
Killian smiled down at her as the line moved slowly, "You cut quite the figure in that outfit, Swan. Did I tell you that?"
She grinned up at him, "You're not so bad yourself, sir. Think you're going to maintain that southern accent all evening?"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn if I do or don't," he smirked at her.
"You're going to use that line every opportunity you get tonight, aren't you?"
"Aye." He nuzzled her ear and whispered, "And also, 'you should be kissed by someone who knows how,'" before bestowing a feather light kiss on her cheek.
A shiver ran up her spine in response to his hot breath against her ear, highlighting that ever present awareness that existed when he was near. "I could probably handle that," she smiled up at him as they moved closer to where Professor French was announcing everyone.
He turned a heated gaze on her, changing that shiver into warmth, creating a tingling in her nether regions. "Are you sure you could handle it?"
The sexy timbre of his voice combined with the smolder in his eyes served to cause second thoughts about the way she wanted to spend the evening. "Watch it, sir, or I might just find a room to have my wicked way with you."
"A man can always hope," he winked as he handed their card to the professor.
"Welcome," Professor French nodded his head at them before looking at the card as they moved on to shake hands with other faculty members and he announced, "Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara."
Wondering if Robin and Elsa were already here, she leaned close to ask, "Killian, who are Robin and Elsa dressing as tonight, since they aren't dating?"
"He grinned down at her, "Oh just wait. They make quite the dynamic duo." He shook his head, "How he got her to agree, I'll never understand."
As she walked with Killian toward their table, his cryptic comment piqued her curiosity but nothing could have prepared her for what, or rather, who, was waiting for her.
"What in the world did he do to you?" She gasped as she got a good look at Elsa.
~~~~CS~~~~~
"I lost at rock, paper, scissors," Elsa confessed, "which meant Batman," she pointed at Robin sitting next to her, "got to choose our costumes." She stood and showed off her 'Burt Ward' costume of a green body suit, topped with a red vest and a yellow R in the right pocket area held together with yellow ties and a black belt. Around her neck she had a yellow satin cape and the look was completed by dark green gloves and a black mask.
Covering her mouth with her hand, Emma worked to contain the laughter, "I'm not quite sure I've ever seen this version of Robin before. But Elsa," she took a deep breath, "your hair! What did you do?"
Elsa patted her head, a sheepish smile on her face, "Oh, don't worry, it's temporary. I just put it in a bun and sprayed it with black hair color."
Emma relaxed and shook her head at the partner in crime who was standing right behind his Robin. "And your turn," she pointed her finger at Batman.
~~~~CS~~~~
While Emma had been examining her friend's costume, Killian had walked behind her studying the look on Robin's face. By the twinkle in his eye, he suspected that somehow Robin had rigged the game, but decided to let him have his fun for now. As soon as his girl pointed and said, "Your turn," and 'Batman' stood out behind the chair with his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out, Killian couldn't stop the laughter.
He heard Emma ask, "Since when does Batman wear a grey bodysuit, black briefs, cape, mask and a chunky yellow belt?"
Robin pointed at himself, "I'll have you know," he started in a clipped tone, "this is an exact replica of Adam West's Batman."
Emma looked over at Killian and raised a brow, "How does he know Adam West and Burt Ward?"
Shrugging a shoulder, he tattled on his friend, "What can I say, he discovered TVLand."
Pulling a chair out, Killian seated Emma and then he and Robin went for drinks. As they got out of sight of the women, he stopped Robin to ask, "So how did you rig rock, paper, scissors?"
"I'm offended. I would never cheat, but she played like a typical girl and started with scissors so going with statistics I bet rock for the win. Good thing too, as had I lost, I would have had to dress as Thelma or Louise. Can you see me in a dress?" He walked off and with no choice, Killian followed.
~~~CS~~~
As they made their way back to where the women were sitting, Killian only had eyes for Emma. She had opted to keep her beautiful blonde hair instead of Scarlett's dark locks and the way the lights spun her hair to gold and made her eyes sparkle as she sat talking to Elsa, filled him with a sense of peace, which always seemed to happen when she was near.
Setting their drinks on the table, he held his hand out to her, "Dance with me?"
A small pucker appeared between her eyes, as she looked at the dancers, "I don't know how to do what they're doing."
"Well, love. It's simple really." He pulled her to her feet. "Pick a partner who knows what he's doing."
"And you do?"
He placed her left hand on his shoulder, and clasped her right hand in his left, and, pulling her close, led her through the steps of the waltz that he hadn't danced in many years. The memory of when that last dance had been almost broke free but something slammed the door on it, and the memory disappeared. Not wanting to mar the evening, he let his thoughts loose on the first time his mother had tried to teach him to dance a proper waltz, as she considered it only fitting. He'd had two left feet at the time, but as he grew the ladies seemed to appreciate his prowess on the dance floor. Now he was happy, for it was a dance his mum had loved and experiencing it with Emma made it feel brand new. What more could he want?
After dancing the waltz and holding Emma in his arms, but not really holding her in his arms, he knew what he wanted - a bloody slow song so he could bring their bodies into contact. However, once the music changed and he had the opportunity to hold her tightly, the full skirt on her dress behaved as a wall, preventing the closeness that he desired. "You look beautiful, Swan, but that dress puts too much cloth between our hips," he whispered to her in an exasperated voice.
She lifted her head from where it was tucked against his shoulder and nipped at his chin. "Guess you'll just have to use your imagination." As he turned them around and her dress floated around their legs, she confessed, "I do feel like a princess in this dress, though."
"And you are, Swan." He kissed her on the nose, before finishing, "My princess."
As the music ended and they announced that the buffet was open, they made their way back to the table, arriving just as his friend, Arthur and his wife, Guinevere. Opening his mouth to introduce them to Emma, he was surprised when she and Guinevere greeted each other like long lost friends. When he lifted a brow in question and Arthur shrugged his shoulders indicating his surprise, his curiosity got the best of him. "Wait, you two know each other?" He looked back and forth between the women.
Emma grinned up at him, "Guin is Ashley's doctor. I met her at the baby shower in April. Small world, isn't it?"
Killian frowned trying to recall a snippet of a conversation he'd had with Arthur at The Rabbit Hole many months ago. Could the party that Guin had been attending that night been the same one? So many almost connections had occurred between them, until, he glanced over where Robin and Elsa were standing up, presumably to get some food, the dynamic duo had struck. "Bam," he snickered, as they followed along.
The rest of the evening was spent dancing, drinking and talking with friends. The annual holiday ball was the one time of the year when the line between the faculty and those students who were in the graduate programs blurred and everyone usually partied hard.
"Killian," he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to Robin who was pointing to the dance floor.
Since the orchestral music had given way to a DJ and the music playing was a Michael Jackson song, he wasn't sure what he was going to see, but Professor French break dancing in the middle of the floor was certainly not it. "I hope his pants are stretchy."
"I hope he doesn't break a bone," Robin added, shaking his head at French's antics. "Arthur, did you see French out there," he asked their classmate as he appeared by their side.
As if distracted, Arthur gave him a half smile, "Sorry, Guin just received an emergency call. Can I bum a ride with one of you lugs so she can take the car?"
"That shouldn't be a problem," Killian answered, "I can take Elsa home and Robin can take you."
"Thanks, I'm going to walk my wife out and then we can leave whenever you're ready." He took Guin's hand and after she said her goodbyes to Emma and Elsa followed her out of the room.
After he left, Killian looked back out on the dance floor and laughed as Professor French took a bow, and then holding his back hobbled off the floor to collapse into a chair nearby. Then, as the music transitioned into the next song, the DJ announced it would be the last one for the evening and the lights were turned down even lower and the smooth music of Josh Groban's When You Say You Love Me filled the room. No words were needed as he turned to Emma, and taking his hand, she followed him onto the dance floor.
~~~CS~~~
As his arms wrapped around her and the words washed over her, Emma felt every word of the song in every cell of her body. They spoke to her, describing exactly how she felt when Killian spoke her name. Having him in her life was so wonderful she felt that she was living a really good dream. one that was so awesome that you feared waking because life can't be that good. Having someone in your life and a part of your heart was not something that happened to little Lost Girls who were dropped off by their parents when only hours old. But by some miracle, it had happened to her. Her soul had met its mate and when he spoke her heart nearly stopped beating. Losing herself in Killian's arms, she felt her eyes start to tear as she listened to the words.
"You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love
You're where I belong
And when you're with me if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I can fly,
"You make me feel like that, Swan. Did you know that?" Killian murmured against the side of her head.
She kissed his neck, right in the notch of it, where he had left the shirt unbuttoned, exposing his chest hair. "Fly? As in Peter Pan and Tinkerbell who never grew up?"
"No, love," his voice softened and his pitch lowered, "as in you make me so happy it's hard to keep my feet on the ground."
"Smooth," she whispered, just as the next verse started.
And this journey that we're on
How far we've come and I
Celebrate every moment
When you say you love me
That's all you have to say
I'll always feel this way
"These words are powerful, aren't they?" She sniffed as the song continued.
"Aye, love. Many messages can be conveyed with song, as often the words from the song give you the label for your emotions." He hummed along with the chorus.
When you say you love me
The world goes still so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment, I know why I'm alive.
Taking her face in his strong hands, his gaze burned into hers in the dim lights of the room. They were the only two people locked inside their love, hearing no others, and the emotion of the song was almost another being around them, threatening to overwhelm them with its intensity.
Killian kissed her tears away one eye at a time and then sang the ending of the song just for her.
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?
Her lips stole the last word of the song from him as she couldn't hold back the need to kiss him. Their kiss was a culmination of the journey they had been traveling together for only a few months, but Emma knew they both felt like they had been waiting for the other for their entire lives. When their souls aligned, the stars shone bright.
~~~CS~~~
It was late when Killian pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. As he rounded the hood to open the passenger side doors, the back one popped open and Elsa stepped out. "Thanks for the ride. This costume is making me nuts. Night!" And she took off up the stairs.
Opening Emma's door, he helped her with her voluminous skirts and then pulled her to her feet. The passion that had been simmering between them, just beneath the surface since their kiss on the dance floor, continued to grow and every touch was like a flame licking at the kindling, yearning, stretching, straining toward each other. Tempting fate, because he could no more resist her lips than a moth resisted a light, he captured them and as they mated, his body strove to push every coherent thought from his head. Wrenching his lips from hers, he picked her up and strode toward the stairs taking them two a time.
"Killian," Emma wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling, "I'm perfectly capable of walking."
His smile was hot enough to leave scorch marks. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," were the last words he uttered before slamming the door to her apartment and showing her exactly what had been on his mind all evening long.
Emma and Killian's first Christmas together was written as separate chapters. Part 1 is Christmas Eve and Part 2 is Christmas Day. They slip seamlessly into this spot and once finished resume with January 1. They can be found under a separate heading.
Early morning - January 1, 2016
The New Year had arrived, and after celebrating with a little loving, Emma lay spooned in her bed with Killian wrapped around her, wondering what the next year could bring that could be an improvement over the last five months. She was also wondering what was going on inside his mind. He had been loving and attentive with her, but she had almost felt as if he were coming in and out of their conversations. Half of the time he was with her, and half the time he was elsewhere. She readjusted in the bed, backing up more firmly against him, and his response was a quick tightening around her waist as he buried his face in her hair.
"Are you ready to go again?" His sexy voice purred in her ear and she couldn't hold back her grin.
"I'm just getting more comfortable." She wiggled again against his now straining flesh. "From where I'm lying it seems you're the one who is geared up for round two, or would this be round three?"
He took the sensitive flesh of her earlobe between his teeth, giving just enough of a tug to sting. "Be careful what you wish for, you little minx," he whispered against her hair.
Torn between allowing him to distract her from asking questions and putting a halt to the distractions, she lay still while his hand wandered as far as it could reach. He must have felt her indecision, as his touch immediately went from seduction to comfort. "What is it, love? Tired of me already?"
"Never Killian, it's just that..." she wasn't sure how to describe his behavior and she certainly didn't want to make him angry.
"You want to know why I've had my head up my arse the past few days, don't you?"
She giggled at his expression, "Well if you put it that way, then yes." She started to turn over to face him, but he tightened his hold on her waist until she relaxed again. "Talk to me, Killian."
He rubbed his chin on her shoulder several times before starting to speak, "My parents were killed twelve years ago today, Emma. Have I ever told you that?"
"Oh Killian," Emma cried, "I'm so sorry. You don't have to talk about it."
"Surprisingly, I want to tell you, if you want to hear."
"I do," she whispered, hoping not to break the spell.
"I guess I should start the story the summer after my first year at University. Robin and I were more interested in the social aspect of University and we both ended up on academic probation. The summer before my second year my parents threatened me with the Royal Navy if I didn't improve my grades and behave, and so when the school term rolled around we were ready."
Emma grinned at the thought of a young Killian being scolded by his parents. "You didn't like the idea of following your brother into the Royal Navy."
A laugh burst forth before he could even stop it, "Killian Jones bows to no one and they wouldn't allow me to join as a Captain."
"Ah, that's too bad." She petted his arm. "I believe you would be an amazing Captain." When he agreed, she giggled. "Modest, too. Go on."
"Second year started, and much to my parents pleasure I turned my marks around. I pulled high ones, earning some academic awards and all was well. My third year started and same thing. Good marks, worked hard, your typical engineering geek."
"I would have thought you were cute."
"Of course, I was," he agreed. "Then it was time for the holidays," his voice got lower and she knew the story was going to be sad. "I finished exams and went home and, surprisingly, Liam was home on leave and had brought his wife."
"I detect something in your voice when you mention Liam and the wife."
"Aye, love, there is," he took a deep breath, "but that might be a story for another time."
"Ok," she acquiesced, knowing that he would tell her in his own time.
He continued his story, but his words came out slower, as if they were being pulled from a bank of memories too painful to remember, "Mum had outdone herself that Christmas. Trees in several rooms, gifts under them all, holiday music and the smell of cinnamon in the air. As a family, we attended an annual holiday ball that was all about seeing and being seen, and as it was an unspoken rule that mother attend, we saw extended family. Most, I didn't really know, which is sad."
When he stopped his story, as if trying to formulate what he would say next, she thought about how smooth he had been when they had attended the Faces Ball a few weeks ago. Was he as smooth at that ball as a young man of twenty, or was he gangly and unsure of himself? "Did you wear a tux?" she couldn't resist asking.
"Aye, Swan, of course. I was rather dashing too." He chuckled at her snort to his comment.
"And I bet you wooed all the pretty ladies," she couldn't help but inquire.
"Swan, is there something you wish to know?" he asked in his seductive voice. "You know there's only one pretty lady I'm interested in seducing, right?" Moving a lock of hair, he laid a gentle kiss, in that area just below her earlobe that always sent shivers down her body.
"I know, now behave."
Taking another breath, he went on with his story, "In addition to the ball, we went to see The Nutcracker, caroling, and the candlelight service at our local parish for Christmas Eve. The next day, we unwrapped gifts and then dinner was a mixture of traditional Christmas dishes, along with some favorites. We even decorated sugar cookies, something that probably sounds ridiculous for adults to be doing but," she felt him shrug his shoulder, "it made Mum happy."
Her murmured "I bet," was said quietly, letting him know she was listening and didn't want the flow of conversation to stop.
"After Christmas, Liam and Lily left and mum tried to talk me into going on holiday skiing with her and my father. But I decided I didn't want to be stuck on some mountain, as nice as it might be, for New Year's Eve with my parents, and so begged off." His voice trailed off into nothingness.
"Killian," she began, but he tightened his hold on her and finished the story.
"They left the next day, driving to Galtür in Switzerland, and based on the few correspondences I had with them they had a wonderful time. But for some unknown reason, on New Year's Day, they checked out early, and on their way down the mountain were hit broad side by a man who was just going home after having been out celebrating all night. It was hours before they were found and they were gone."
Emma's heart ached for the young man who had lost his parents all those years ago. Her heart also ached for the man who still felt guilty for something that wasn't his fault. "You blame yourself, don't you?"
Killian's voice was choked with emotion when he answered, "If I would have gone with them, perhaps they would still be alive."
"Or perhaps you would also be gone." She took a deep breath, tightening her hold on his hand. "Killian, fate is a funny thing. I do believe we have some power over our fate, but not necessarily keeping ourselves from death. It seems to be a situation where, when one door is closed, other doors were opened? Would you be the same person, or in the same place if things had been different?"
~~~CS~~~~
He thought about what she had said and he could unequivocally say the answer was no. He would be a different person, and chances were Emma wouldn't be a part of his life. He couldn't help but think that his life would be empty without her, as she filled all those voids. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it, and he didn't want to, he thought, as he tightened his arms around her.
Was it a coincidence that the words she had just used in describing his past were essentially the same words that he had been using to explain what had brought her into his life? The parallels between the way his parents met and had fallen in love and the way he and Emma had met and fallen in love were there. That their paths had crossed was something for which he would be eternally grateful and a future with her was his greatest wish come true.
"After they were gone, I was not someone you would have cared to know. In fact, I became a person, I didn't care to know, but then, even though my brother was going through something with his marriage that he still refuses to talk about, he pulled me back from too much rum and too much hate, at least enough to allow me to finish my degree."
Rolling over, Emma cupped his face with her small hand and whispered, "I believe your mom would be proud of the man you've become. I know I am."
The kiss they exchanged was sweet and tender and an expression of the deep love that was between them. He hugged her tighter, feeling so close and in tune with her after their conversation, freer, having shared his grief over his parents' death. It had been cathartic and forced him to remember that his last memories of his times with his parents were not all sad. The last Christmas he had spent with his parents had been one of memories meant to treasure. Memories he had shoved so far into his subconscious that they had been all but forgotten.
He rubbed his nose against hers. "Thank you for helping me remember those happy times."
"I like helping you remember happy times," she sighed against his collarbone as she grazed her lips across his skin.
Wrapping his arms around her, he rolled them so that she was on her back. "How about helping me make happy times? Up for that too?"
She squirmed in his arms as he attacked her with his lips. "I see you are." Her giggling was so infectious it filled him with joy, but the proximity of her bare body rubbing against his soon changed the course of their actions with the needs taking precedence. and covering her lips with his, the rest of the conversation was all nonverbal.
Mid-January 2016
It was cold and snowy on the front step, but inside her apartment where it was warm, it was also lonely, or at least it had seemed that way a few moments ago. For the past month, Killian has been in there with her, filling her days with laughter and her nights with love, and now he was off to a meeting. Objectively, she knew she would be fine and would be seeing him in a day or two but subjectively, she needed to wallow, as Ruby called it, just a little longer.
Watching the snow accumulate on the front lawn, she had gotten used to the quiet when a car pulled into a space close to the front and parked. The car had a single driver, female, she thought, who was talking on the phone and gesturing wildly with one hand. Emma watched her shake her head, turn off the phone and get out while pulling on a warm overcoat. Reaching in, she popped the trunk and pulled out two suitcases, locked the car and headed toward where she was sitting.
"Hi, can I help you?" Emma asked hesitantly, as she hadn't heard of anyone new moving in.
The woman smiled, almost hesitantly, as if she were unsure of what she was about to do. She held out her hand, "I'm Regina Mills. Is this Sarah Fisher's house?"
Shaking her hand, Emma answered, "Hi Regina. I'm Emma Swan and yes, Sarah owns the place. Are you moving in?"
"For the next few months, yes I am."
Emma led her into the warm house, leaving her with Sarah, and climbed the stairs to her own apartment. Opening the door, she was once again hit by the silence but with a click of a switch, she turned on her iPod, allowing the music to drown out her thoughts.
Deciding she really needed to put together lesson plans and plan her TA hours, she grabbed her laptop and worked efficiently for a few hours. Hearing her phone ring, she located it across the room, but not in time to grab the call. Her thumb hovered over the button to return the call when a text arrived. What the hell, she thought, as she read it once more.
Blue: Call as soon as you can. It's about Neal.