A few pieces of housekeeping to people who left reviews but they are guests so I can't respond. Alexa - Thank you for the review. Just wanted to answer your question about them finding Emma's family- Remember in the University Hospital w/ James Nolan, they didn't need to go looking for her family because as far as they are concerned, Liam took care of everything. Plus she's in her upper 20's so is an adult. And in the Seattle hospital at this point they also know who sent her out there so there's not really a need to do any more searching. Emma signed the papers and left the hospital in NJ to go to Seattle on her own. Tandy you are the only person who had commented on the fact that Liam seems to be going through the same things every chapter and that I spent too much time on the medical points. Sorry to hear that you feel that way but I'm pleased with the way I've balanced the medical w/ the story. And as for Liam, I love my characterization of him. He's an onion that is losing his skin piece by piece. It is a complex story though and having to wait week to week to read the chapters, esp if you are reading other stories could be confusing too. I hope you stick with it...
In other news, I am writing a Christmas story that takes place in Chapter 8, after the Christmas Ball so if you want to go back and reread a chapter or two around that one in preparation, feel free. I had to do it to get in the right headspace for where Emma and Killian were in their relationship then.
and lastly... you might need a tissue this week. Grab one just in case.
Chapter 19
New York City, NY
Late Friday to Early Saturday
"Mr. Jones, I'm calling to let you know your brother is awake," Liam heard Doctor Hopper say.
The doctor's words didn't initially register, making Liam think perhaps he was dreaming. Not responding immediately, he looked around the room and heard the music playing, saw the lights from the city outside the windows shining, and heard the gentle hum from the air conditioner; all sounds assuring him that he was not dreaming. "Killian is awake?" he couldn't help but ask, just in case he had been hallucinating.
"Yes. I was standing next to his bed when he opened his eyes."
"How is he, Doctor Hopper?" he asked anxiously, "Is he alright?"
"Based on Killian's questions and comments when I spoke to him, I have every reason to believe all is fine."
Liam sighed in relief. "I'm on my way." He needed to get to the hospital. He needed to talk to Killian, if only to assure himself that he was fine. And once he had done that, then they needed to have a discussion about Emma.
"Mr. Jones, perhaps it would be best for you to wait until the morning. Killian is going to be undergoing several tests over the next few hours and I really don't want to overtire him until we're sure there are no complications. Shall we meet tomorrow at say…10:00?"
Unable to hide his disappointment, Liam agreed and hung up the phone. As soon as the call disconnected, he sent a quick text to Nemo, letting him know about Killian's awakening and then, as usual, ended up next to the window. The lights far below caught his attention in an almost hypnotic way and he allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts.
He kept playing what he wanted to say to Killian over and over in his head, rewinding and editing as necessary until he was comfortable with the message he wanted to convey. Once that message was complete he turned to go to bed, noticing his reflection for the first time in the window. The man looking back at him wasn't frowning…his smile wasn't huge, but it was there. Liam Jones was happy for the first time in many years.
When he finally crawled into bed, he knew he should be tired, but his mind was wide awake and active with thoughts of what had transpired over the past week. It didn't seem possible that less than a week ago, Nemo had stopped by his office and after a few exchanges said to him, "Don't ignore the pain, Liam, as that helps make you the man you are supposed to become, but trust your brother. If he says one look and he knew Emma was the one for him, just may I remind you, as your father did, then perhaps you are not giving him credit to know his own mind." And that was crux of the matter, really. That he continued to view his brother as that four-year-old little boy that he had almost lost. That same little boy that he had tried to save and protect for close to thirty years. How did one change a behavior when it had been part of his very existence for longer than not?
Nemo's words, "This is when we come together as a family and perhaps if we meet her halfway, Emma will save all of us just like she seems to have saved your brother," had made him want to laugh at the possibility that someone who had come from the very same place as the woman who had crushed him could ever save him. But now, looking back at what had transpired in such a short time, he had to wonder if perhaps his old mentor had known something about Emma that either he hadn't known or that he hadn't been willing to see. His judgment had been sorely impaired for years and while no means perfect, he felt he was back on the road to discovering the man his mother would admire.
To say that he regretted his behavior, especially toward his brother, was just a part of what was going on inside his head. There seemed to be too much clutter for him to really make sense of all the emotions, but the more that he attempted to organize and understand the many parts of his feelings, the better he seemed to be able to put them behind him in order to take responsibility. He knew, though, that taking it was only the first step toward healing wounds that ran deep. He felt it was important for all parties to come together, otherwise it was like covering something with a band-aid that never was able to heal properly. With band-aids often the hurts were covered, allowing them to fester, creating pain that could take years to fix. While he deserved for Killian to shut him down and walk away, Liam hoped that his little brother would meet him half way.
After several hours of being no closer to sleep than when he had crawled into bed, Liam padded into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Leaning against the counter, he sipped the strong brew and mentally made a check list of what he needed to take to the hospital with him. Once the caffeine started zipping through his system, he poured another cup, and went to shower.
After he was dressed, he searched for an old gym bag which would easily hold a few changes of clothes for Killian. A couple pair of gym shorts and t-shirts, which the doctor had recommended for comfort, along with shoes and socks were the first things to go in the bag. Some toiletries followed and just as he was zipping it, he decided to include a pair of jeans and a shirt. He had a few hours before he was to meet with the doctor, and with the bag and a third cup of coffee, he decided to stop by his office to try to catch up on some overdue work.
Boston, MA
Saturday Early Morning
Ruby closed her suitcase and took another look around the room that she had shared with Emma and Ashley until they were 18 and moved into their first apartment together. So many memories within these walls, she thought. From gossiping about boys to experimenting with make-up, they had shared the highs and lows of each other's lives. And even though other kids had come and gone in the Home, they had remained constants, always together. Always there for each other. Sisters in every way but blood.
Pushing away from the bed, she walked over to the window seat where her raggedy doll, dressed in red, sat next to Ashley's, dressed in blue and Emma's, dressed in white. "We made quite the team, didn't we Annie?" She crooned to her doll, hugging her close to her chest.
These days the doll's answers weren't so readily heard as they were when she was ten, but the comfort she derived from holding her tight almost had her stuffing the doll into her suitcase. Only the little smirk that she'd be sure to get from Victor prevented it, and when the doll just gazed at her with its wide blue eyes, after another hug, she kissed its forehead softly and set it back on the cushion. She had confided just about as many secrets to the doll as she had to Ashley and Emma, and as they moved their separate ways, it was a little frightening.
Her attention shifted to the bookcase, which sat next to the window, holding an eclectic array of books. There were tattered copies of Charlotte's Web and Black Beauty next to Harry Potter. All were well read and well-loved and many eliciting discussions long into the night. As her eye moved down the shelves, she saw her Little Red Riding Hood next to Ashley's Cinderella. A quick glance confirmed what she had already known - that Emma's fairytale books were missing, which wasn't really surprising as she had loved them best of all.
Knowing it was about time to leave for Emma's graduation, Ruby turned back to the bed, picked up her suitcase, and just as she moved to walk out of the room, her eyes landed on a picture that had been taken when they were twelve or thirteen. Ruby, as the tallest, stood in the center flanked by Emma and Ashley, all wearing huge grins and shirts that said, "All for one, and one for all."
"I wonder," she murmured, remembering their treasure box they had hidden not long after the picture was taken. Her suitcase was dropped, and she was in the closet, searching for the loose board before she even realized she had moved. When she found it, using the palm of her hand, she popped it up enough to move the board aside and pulled out the small box that held their treasures.
A quick glance at the clock assured her that, even though time was short, she still had a few moments for nostalgia. After all, she was leaving for six months and when she returned life would look different. Ashley and Sean were thinking of moving outside of Boston, Emma and Killian were moving to New York and she was...well she hoped she would be planning her own wedding. A lot of changes in a short time were bound to bring on a little melancholy, right?
Reverently, the lid was removed and set aside. Inside she found three mood rings and slipped one on her finger, wondering if it still turned colors. There were hair ribbons, an old necklace, a pet rock, sunglasses and a picture Emma had drawn of herself standing next to Snow White and Prince Charming. The last thing in the box was their old Magic 8 Ball. Memories of them asking it about grades and clothes and friends bombarded her, and feeling her eyes glass over, had to blink several times to clear her vision.
Hearing Blue calling her to come help, she quickly reloaded the box, noticing that, indeed, her mood ring had turned dark blue. That's a good sign, she thought as she picked up the ball to drop it into the box, but couldn't resist asking it, "Have I met my Prince Charming?" It's answer, "Yes, definitely," put such a huge smile on her face, she couldn't help but ask it another question. "Is Emma getting her happy ever after?" The resulting message sent a chill through her body.
University Hospital
Newark, NJ
Saturday Mid-Morning
When Liam arrived at the hospital a little before he was to meet with Doctor Hopper, his first inclination was to go directly to Killian's room. He needed to see with his own eyes that Killian was indeed awake and that he hadn't merely been dreaming it were true. But as luck would have it, when he stepped off the elevator, the doctor was standing at the nurse's station waiting for him.
"Mr. Jones, I'm happy to see you. Come with me."
His abrupt greeting took Liam a little aback, but he followed the doctor around a corner and into an empty room, anxious to hear what he had to say. "How is Killian?" he blurted without preamble.
When Doctor Hopper crossed his arms, leaned against the counter and looked at him from under his glasses, Liam prepared himself to hear the worst.
"Medically, your brother is doing surprisingly well. All his tests came back within normal ranges and I don't anticipate any residual damage. He's very fortunate, but..."
He hesitated just a tad too long for Liam's comfort. "But what? What is it you're not telling me?" His rapid speech was the only external sign of his anxiousness whereas internally his pulse was quickly escalating and his breathing becoming shallower by the minute.
The doctor must have realized how his comment had sounded because he immediately responded, "No, no. Killian is fine. But he's insisting that he's checking out of the hospital today. I'm hoping you can talk some sense into him."
A relieved laugh burst out before he could stop it, and regaining a little decorum, he smiled at the doctor. "I'm sorry, Doctor," he shook his head at the thought, "but Killian stopped listening to me a long time ago. However, I'm willing to try."
Doctor Hopper nodded. "I certainly understand, as many times patients refuse to listen to family members when it comes to their care, unless of course," he took off his glasses and proceeded to clean them, "they're married. Sometimes that helps, but not always. Now here's what he's saying..."
~~~CS~~~
Killian watched the lass as she tightened the brace around his knee one more time.
"How does that feel?" she asked as she handed him a crutch to use for support.
"How do you think it feels?" He growled. "It feels fine. Now can I walk?"
"Mr. Jones," she began in a placating tone, "your knee..."
Killian tried for patience but after what he had endured in the twelve-plus hours he had been awake, those reserves were all but depleted. "I'm not bloody daft," he interrupted her explanation, "I heard you the first and the second time. Now can I walk?"
She inclined her head in agreement and helped him stand while supporting some of his weight. "Here's the crutch. Don't try to move right away. Let me know if you feel light headed."
Killian had to admit, but only to himself, that his body seemed weaker than a newborn babe's and that the room had taken on the feel of an amusement park ride, but once he started breathing through the pain, he felt stronger. Digging deep down inside, he put one foot in front of the other, and with the persistence and fortitude that he had learned from his parents, he walked across the room and back before collapsing onto the side of the bed. He had sweat pouring down his face, but refused to show pain, instead giving the therapist a cheeky smile. "Satisfied?"
Her glance told him that she was used to people behaving rudely when she was only trying to help, but he needed out of this bloody place. There was someone in Boston that needed him, and he was tired of waiting. "Mr. Jones," she sighed as she took the crutch and leaned it against the bed. "You must remember all the instructions I gave you. Do not overtire yourself."
"I'm not likely to forget them as you've repeated them ad nauseum since you walked through that door. Are we done?"
Killian watched her as she cleaned up her work paraphernalia and picked up his chart to make notes. Was she one of the ones he'd heard speaking about the accident before he woke? That they were outside his room and not right next to his bed had prevented him from hearing more clearly, but the words he did hear, they nearly tore him apart. Those words seemed to add validity to what he heard Liam say. And while unclear on what day the conversation had occurred, the meaning was very clear. Emma was dead and not coming back to him.
Since waking last night and seeing his red-headed doctor, he hadn't felt like doing much talking. He had asked about Robin but hadn't had the strength to ask about Emma, because…he already knew the answer. Talking about it just made it more real and he wasn't strong enough to deal with the fact that he would never see his Swan again. Never hold her in his arms again…except in his dreams. There she was always waiting for him.
The lass closed the chart, picked up her bag of equipment and checked the brace one more time before conspicuously leaving an ice pack nearby and exiting the room. As soon as the door closed behind her, Killian let out the breath he had been holding and allowed his shoulders to droop with fatigue. Only alone would he allow the pain that was his constant companion to surface, as it could be construed as a weakness. And he had no time for being weak. He had lost too much here in this place and each day he remained here, he felt his soul slowly being sucked away. Now, the strength he gained from having Emma's love wrapped around him had become even more important. He had to borrow on that strength to get on his feet enough to get back to Boston, because he knew what he needed in order to heal could no longer be found here.
As soon as the throbbing in his leg had become nothing but a dull ache, he contemplated using the ice pack. But his hope was that as soon as Liam arrived, he would be able to leave and to do that he needed - a shower. The question was, could he make it on his own?
He eyed the bathroom door some six feet away and, positioning the crutch, he used it and the bed railing to manipulate himself onto his feet. From there it was a less than a dozen miserable steps before he reached the door and entered the tiny room. With no normal clothing to put on after showering, he took a couple of the arse-showing gowns and dropped them on the counter for easy reach. A flick of the wrist started the steamy water and, dropping the offending gown, he stepped in.
~~~CS~~~
As he walked toward Killian's room, Liam found himself rubbing an imaginary spot over his heart where Doctor Hopper had inadvertently shoved a dagger. His words, while innocent, had really brought his poor judgment right back and planted it squarely in his lap. The universe, it seemed, had decided that it was time for him to man-up, and he was feeling like it had brought everyone surrounding him to the party. Now, the words, "unless they're married," kept reverberating inside his head, echoing louder and louder with each step he took until he had no choice but to confront them head on. And what did he find?
His discovery was that the good doctor was probably right. Had Emma been in the same hospital instead of across the country, Killian would have been willing to stay. He might have insisted that they share a room, but he would have been willing to cooperate and not so quick to leave University Hospital.
What Liam hadn't uncovered in his musings was just how Killian even knew where she was, or that she had gone away for treatment. As far as he was aware, no one even knew about the others in the car. In fact, Doctor Hopper had mentioned that Killian had asked about Robin, and that had been the first time he had heard that name. Who, then, was talking out of turn? And now that Killian knew she was in Seattle, and Liam's less than chivalrous part in her transfer, would Killian's willingness to listen to his story be affected?
~~~CS~~~
Killian tied one gown in back and then slipped the other on in reverse, allowing himself some semblance of modesty. Getting the brace back on in such a confined space proved difficult, but once he had succeeded, he felt better than he had since he'd been awake. They had moved him all over the hospital, allowing every machine possible to study his brain, and following that, several others had asked him the same bloody things over and over again. It had been many grueling hours of questioning and by the time he returned to his room, he had been glad Liam hadn't been there waiting for him. Having to keep up his front of 'being normal' would have been too difficult, mostly because he knew that true normal was asking the impossible.
~~~CS~~~
Liam had been waiting for several minutes when Killian emerged from the washroom. The only outward signs of his accident were the tiny cuts left on his face, the knee brace and crutch, and the pallor of his skin. "Killian, I'm so relieved you're awake." He quickly moved to Killian's side to give him a hug and when Killian remained passive in his arms prepared himself to explain.
"Aye, I'm awake." Killian answered matter-of-factly. "Did you bring me some clothes?"
Taken aback at his brusque tone, Liam held the bag out toward him, studying his face for some sign of what he was thinking or feeling. Without saying anything further, the bag was slipped over a shoulder and Killian retreated back behind closed doors, leaving him to try to piece together what had just happened and how to approach the conversation that would be the start of making things right between them, as brothers.
~~~CS~~~
Killian collapsed against the closed door and felt tears spring to his eyes. He had known it would be difficult to be near Liam, but discussing Emma with him, knowing how Liam felt about her, was too hard. In his current condition, the strength he needed to process all of those emotions just wasn't there. With every cell in his body vibrating with pain, the only other overwhelming emotion he had room for was anger. He was angry at himself, at Liam, at the doctors and even, god help him, at Emma; feelings he hadn't had he lost his parents. "How am I going to get through this?" he whispered to the silent room, fighting against the need to slide down onto the cold hard floor and sob.
He was unsure how long he had been in there before he heard rapping on the door followed by Liam's voice, "Killian, you alright?" and realized he needed to get dressed and get his brother to take him to the airport. It was time to go.
~~~CS~~~
The second time Killian emerged from the washroom, he was fully dressed with his brace over his jeans, leaning heavily on the crutch. And even though the look on his brother's face reminded him of the stubborn man he'd seen in the mirror for too many years, Liam took a deep breath and wandered into the minefield. "Killian, we need to talk about Emma," he blurted out.
Killian's head lifted quickly, his blue eyes steely as they bore into him. "No, we don't." His words were measured, almost as if he were in pain. "I know about Emma."
Liam couldn't quite connect the pain in Killian's voice with the knowledge of Emma's whereabouts, because she was getting the best care possible. If anything, he expected anger for the way he had behaved as an arsehole for years, and hadn't even succeeded in caring for Emma properly. "But Killian, Emma is-"
He hadn't been aware that an injured man could move as quickly as Killian did, but before he had even finished the sentence, Killian was snarling in his face, "Do not mention her name to me. When I am ready to talk, you will know. Sound familiar?"
Liam was thrown right back into that room he had been hiding in after finding Lily and discovering her duplicitous nature, and it hit him this time like a punch to the gut. His brother was behaving exactly like him. He was pulled back to the present when he heard Killian say, "We'll be right there," and then hang up the phone.
"Where are you going, Killian?"
Killian gave him a hard stare as he turned toward the door. "To sign myself out of this place and then to the airport. You taking me or do I get a cab?" he asked before he vanished out the door.
Liam took a look around the room and picked up the bag, slipping it over his shoulder. "Pot, meet Kettle," he murmured as he followed.
Seattle-Grace Hospital
Seattle, WA
Early Saturday Morning PST
Mary Margaret didn't usually go into the hospital on Saturday, but after her session with Emma, and the glimpses into Emma's memories, she felt that a breakthrough could happen at any time. Dropping her bag in her office, she took the elevator to the fourth floor, and when she arrived at Emma's room, the sight that greeted her nearly broke her heart.
Emma was sitting up in bed, her sketch pad on her lap, head bowed, her shoulders shaking as giant, silent sobs shook her body. Knowing that she should never get so emotionally attached to a patient but realizing she was too far gone, Mary Margaret did the only thing she could do. She took the lost girl in her arms and let her cry until no more tears were left.
As Emma's tears quieted, Mary Margaret handed her a tissue, watching as she wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and once again gained control. "Do you want to tell me about it?" In her experience talking about one's feelings helped, however, when it was suspected that feelings or emotions were the cause of what brought the patient to her, it became more of a delicate matter.
Emma's silence was almost off-putting, but watching the emotions flit across her face told her all she needed to know. When she handed over the sketchbook, her face telling a story of its own, Mary Margaret was almost hesitant to look down, but once she did, a smile graced her face as she gazed back at the patient. "You remembered this?"
Emma hesitantly nodded her head. Studying the picture, Mary Margaret was once again in awe of the talent exhibited before her. Emma had drawn three girls standing close together, arms around each other, as if a team, and huge smiles on their faces. "Is this you?" She pointed to one of the girls on the end. Emma shook her head yes. "This is excellent work. Were you awake when the memory returned?"
Emma reached for the ever-present whiteboard and wrote, "No. Dream."
"Ah, ok. Let's see if you can remember more about this time in your life, alright?"
Nodding her head eagerly, Mary Margaret gently prodded at the edges of Emma's brain, asking subtle questions about the picture. Emma remembered generalities; she felt happy and carefree, the other girls were her best friends and they had eaten snow cones, each of them liking a different flavor. "Search the picture in your mind Emma," Mary Margaret instructed, "can you hear their names?"
She watched as Emma closed her eyes and waited. When she opened them, her response was immediate, in that she grabbed the sketch pad and drew another object next to them, before writing something next to the two girls that were not her. When she handed over the sketch pad, Mary Margaret read the names, "Red and Ella," thinking nicknames, but a wonderful start. Her eyes were then drawn to the new object that had been drawn. "And this, Emma. Do you remember playing with this?"
Emma shook her head and pointed to Red and Ella. "You remember playing with it alongside Red and Ella?"
Another nod. "Do you remember what it's called?"
This time, Emma shook her head indicating that she didn't remember. "It's called a Magic 8 Ball."
Boston, MA
Saturday Late Morning
With Blue's assurances that if anything had happened to Emma, they would know, ringing in her ears, Ruby had allowed herself to be swept up helping to set up for the post-graduation festivities. They cleaned and rearranged furniture and then hung streamers and decorated several tables. Finger foods that didn't need refrigeration were arranged on one and a place for a wedding cake that would be delivered later was made on another.
Ruby moved from group to group, helping fill balloons with helium in one place to supplying tape to a group hanging signs of congratulations in another. She tied ribbons on balloons and attached them to chairs and railings. She lifted the smaller children up so they could help with decorating and carted a large trash bag around collecting the wrapping that had been dropped on the floor in the excitement.
Eventually, the melancholy returned and taking a bunch of balloons and a roll of streamers, Ruby left the chaos of the house for the quiet oasis in the backyard. The minute she stepped out the door, the peacefulness of the surroundings calmed her as they had so often when she was growing up. She quickly decorated the porch railing with the balloons and streamers and then made her way to the swing that had been hanging from a large tree branch for as long as she could remember. The same tree she remembered climbing as a child to peer through the branches and that she used to hide behind during hide-and-seek. It was the same tree under which she, Ashley and Emma used to spread a blanket and play with their dolls.
"Ashley," Ruby smiled at her friend as she smoothed out her doll's dress, "meet, Annie. What did you name yours?"
Ashley picked up one of Ruby's doll's hands. "Pleased to meet ya, Annie," she giggled before she stood her doll up, too. "Meet Ella."
"Well hello, Ella," Ruby greeted the doll in a high-pitched voice. "How are you?"
Ruby remembered Emma hadn't been outside with them because she had been sick with a fever, and Blue had suggested they let Emma sleep. However, as was usually the case without their third musketeer, they had quickly gotten bored and packed up their dolls, ending up on the floor of their bedroom, while Emma and her doll had played from afar.
"Ready, Ella?" Annie asked her new friend.
"I'm ready, Annie," answered Ella. "Let's go find out what our new neighbor's name is."
"Yes, let's," Annie agreed as they started walking toward the 'house' next door. "Knock, knock," Ruby made the sound as if her doll were knocking.
Emma had picked up her doll and walked her across the blanket on her bed and pretended to open a door. "Hello."
"Welcome to the neighborhood," Annie said to the new friend, "I'm Annie and this is Ella."
"Thank you," the new friend said. "It's nice to meet you, Ella, Annie. My name is Kate."
"Hello, Kate," they said in unison.
"Such good memories," Ruby murmured as she came back to the present when she heard Henry calling her name. "Coming, Henry."
Seattle Grace Hospital
Seattle, WA
Saturday Late Morning
Her eyes cataloged what they saw looking back at her in the mirror. Long, blonde hair lying limp against her skull, bright green eyes rimmed by huge purple bruises and a swollen face covered with...yes, more bruises, these ranging in colors from the darkest purple to the lightest yellow.
"Who am I?" She asked the face silently.
"Your name is Emma Swan," the doctor with the kind blue eyes had told her.
"But who is Emma Swan?" she pleaded. "Why don't I remember her?"
He hadn't said anything more because, really, what could he say? He had just continued watching her, but not with pity in his eyes. They had contained concern, care and even empathy.
The eyes in the mirror, though, they looked lost, and even though she had been told that her name was Emma Swan, she couldn't connect that name with any familiarity. "Are you sure?" She asked again, the pain and frustration evident even inside her own head.
"Yes. Trust us." This time she could hear another voice added to his. Mary Margaret, the woman with the soft eyes and gentle voice, had joined them. "It will come, Emma. We will work on it, together."
Together? Why did that sound so familiar? But the words were just slightly off, different than what Mary Margaret had said, but they were stuck inside her head. With the word reverberating inside her mind, she crawled onto the uncomfortable bed and fell into a restless sleep.
She dreamed she was standing next to a large tree, it's branches stretching tall toward the sky. She could see a swing hanging on one side of the tree and if she listened carefully, she could hear the tinkling laughter of other children. Backing away from the trunk, she looked up into the branches to see the face of someone looking back at her. With a mischievous grin, the face disappeared from view.
"Wait. Wait. Come back." But before she had even finished her thought, the scene had faded from view.
Tired and feeling alone, she curled up into a ball as tight as possible and allowed herself a few moments of grief. It seemed that she had just settled when she heard, "Hello," being called faintly, ever so faintly.
"Hello. What is your name?" a disembodied voice called quietly to her right.
She turned quickly to ask them whom they were talking to before they faded from sight, just like the other scenes she had pictured, and then lost just as quickly. But before she could give voice to her question, from her left another voice filled the air, " My name is Kate."
The voice was so close and so familiar that she whipped her head to the left and found herself looking into...a much younger version of herself holding a raggedy doll. "My name is Kate," the young girl said again.
"Kate," she repeated. It felt right. "Kate," she said again. This time it felt more familiar. "Kate," she said a third time, and the name felt more comfortable still. She needed that. She needed to feel comfortable with the person she was right now. "My name is Kate. It's Kate." She felt like she had taken ownership of it and for the first time since she had woken up in this place, she felt a glimmer of hope.
Her eyes popped open, and taking her sketch pad, she drew the scene with the girl in the tree. She wasn't positive, but thought maybe she had drawn that girl before. Next to the tree, she drew a simple sketch of her younger self and the doll and then wrote next to it, "My name is Kate Swan."
As she studied that name, she realized that the graceful, elegant Swan name no longer fit the person she saw in the mirror. She needed a name that made her feel comfortable and safe. With that thought, she marked out the entire sentence and tried again. Once she had completed the task, she put away the pencils and promptly fell into a deep sleep where she waited for the eyes to come to her.
~~~CS~~~
An hour later, David Nolan stopped by to check on his new patient and found her drawing lying on the bed, as if waiting for inspection. "Oh, no," he whispered as he read what she had written.
He decided that Mary Margaret needed to see the new development and slowly slipped the paper out of the book to take with him. "I hope this isn't a permanent problem," he murmured.
She had written, "My name is Kate Blue."
Hospital for Special Surgery
New York, NY
Saturday, Early Afternoon
Regina stood outside the door of the rehabilitation room and watched Will put Robin through the paces of learning to transfer from the bed to a chair and back again. With every try, his moves became easier and more natural, but with his shirt sticking to chest, she could tell the exertion was taking its toll and he would tire soon. She knew he was pushing himself because he wanted to get out of the hospital, but she also worried about him. She didn't want him to push so hard as to risk injury because, according to his doctors, he was on schedule to be discharged before the following weekend. She was looking forward to taking him home so they could see where things would go between them.
And then there were the two pieces of news her mother had shared with her. While both inadvertently involved Killian, one more directly than the other, she knew as soon as she told Robin, he was going to be anxious to speak with Killian himself. The fact that their line of communication had been cut off since the accident had been difficult for him. He needed to assure himself that his friend of many years was okay, and that Robin cared so deeply made her love him even more.
And the second piece of news, while not entirely a shock, did surprise her just a little as she thought Nemo would want to hang around and make sure that all was well with Killian and Emma. However, according to her mother, they were flying out bright and early the next day to spend the summer traveling wherever the whim took them. Her mother even said that during part of the trip, they might not even have the ability to communicate with the outside world. Afraid of what her mother's answer would be if she had questioned more, Regina had instead wished them well and hung up the phone.
And now, they had to not only worry about Killian and where he was flying off to, but why no one seemed to have any information about Emma's injuries. That, in and of itself, was a bit concerning. Her current working theory was that Blue had been notified of Emma's accident and had her moved back to Boston to be close to her friends. Deciding it would be a good time to catch up with Elsa before any other interruptions occurred, Regina dialed her number. It would be a good way to pass the time while she waited for Robin to finish his therapy.
Boston, MA
Saturday, Mid-Afternoon
"Elsa," she heard Anna call her name in a voice just a little too loud.
"Go 'way," she managed to mumble before settling a little deeper into her pillow.
"Elsa. Wake up!" Anna repeated a little louder, and this time added shaking her shoulder, making her feel like she was on a boat being tossed around by high waves.
Elsa swallowed hard to push down the bile that had risen in her throat and cracked open one eye. When the spinning room joined the bell choir in her head, she groaned and shut her eye again. "Later… Wake later..."
"Elsa. Your phone has been vibrating like crazy. Weren't you going to Emma's graduation? What did you have to drink?" Everything was blurted out in one breath.
When Anna was excited, she often spoke quickly, but Elsa had always been able to understand her. Today, however, it felt like her thoughts were mired in molasses. Taking them apart piece by piece, she bypassed the part about her phone and went straight to Emma's graduation. Was she going to the graduation? "Ugh," she groaned as she pushed up into a sitting position and had a moment of panic before remembering that she wasn't going to the ceremony but just to the party. "I must be coming down with something. What time is it?"
"Around 3:00, I think. And you didn't answer. What did you drink last night?" She humphed and handed over two Tylenol and a glass of water.
Draining the glass, Elsa handed it to Anna and buried her face in her hands, waiting for the medication to stop the pounding in her head. "I just had some New York Iced Tea, that's all. Why do you keep asking me what I had to drink? You know that I only have a little wine now and then."
"True, but this time I'm asking because the girls who brought you home last night were all giggly and said, "Oh don't mind her, she had too much to drink." She shook her head and handed Elsa a plate with a dry piece of toast on it. "Here, eat this."
Picking up the toast, Elsa absently nibbled on it while thinking over what Anna had said. "But that can't be right. I told you, I was just drinking New York Iced Teas." She dropped the half-eaten toast back on the plate and prayed it stayed down.
"Elsa," Anna prodded gently, "by New York Iced Teas, do you mean Long Island Iced Teas?"
All of a sudden Elsa had a quick memory of the cute guy behind the bar saying, "Whatever you want to call them, doll, but be careful as they pack a punch." And she had giggled. She groaned again. "Maybe a hot shower before the party will help." Slowly, she pushed off the sofa, which apparently was as far as she made it when she got home, and headed toward the bathroom.
"Don't you want to check your phone? It might be important," Anna called to her just before she left the room.
Did she want to check the messages now? Not really. "I'll check them when I get out. It's probably just Ruby wanting me to pick up some last-minute item." With that, she shut the door and hoped a hot shower was powerful magic for what ailed her.
Harvard Campus
Boston, MA
Saturday, Late Afternoon
Henry sat next to Ruby on the hard metal chair, swinging his feet back and forth. He was feeling uncomfortable because he had to wear a shirt and a tie and he didn't like its tight fit. He had tried using Killian's motto of it being important for his chest to breathe, but Blue had rolled her eyes at him and told him to get dressed. That had been hours ago, and now here he sat being strangled by his tie, even though secretly he felt very important that he was the only kid who had been invited to Emma and Killian's graduation.
"Ruby," he whispered, "when does it start?"
She smiled down at him and patted him on the leg. "Oh, not for a while yet."
"Then why," he frowned at her, "are we here so early?"
"Because, silly," she grinned, "we wanted a good seat."
Henry looked around at the sea of people sitting around him and mentally shrugged his shoulders. If she says so, he thought as he went back to swinging his legs to see how close he could get to the chair in front of him without actually touching it. When he accidentally kicked it and the lady sitting in there turned around and gave him a dirty look, he gave her what Blue always referred to as his charming smile. He thought about continuing the game, but when Ruby laid her hand on his leg, he humphed and stopped. Adults can be so annoying, he thought as he tucked his hands under his legs and resumed looking around.
But that thought brought him to the way that Blue, Ruby and even Marion had been acting all week since they had told him that Emma and Killian had gone away for a few days. They thought that just because he was a kid, he didn't notice these things, but he was ten-years-old, after all. Something was up, he was sure of it, and those extra decorations at the Home were a part of it.
"Ruby," he leaned closer, "why are there so many people here?"
"Because there are a lot of people graduating," she answered.
He thought that over for a few seconds before asking, "So how does this graduation work?"
"Well," she began in a patient voice, "in a minute all of the graduates will come in and sit down. Then there will be speeches. Then they will call out names, and once the graduates leave, then we can too."
"This is going to take forever, isn't it?" he sighed.
"Probably," she agreed. "Want to play something on my phone while we wait?"
"I guess," he grunted. Her phone didn't have as many fun games on it as his did, but it was better than nothing. Settling on one, he kept busy until the music started and he could keep an eye out for Emma, Killian and Robin.
Hospital for Special Surgery
New York, NY
Saturday, Late Afternoon
Robin had known the minute Regina appeared outside the rehab room, and when she didn't immediately come inside assumed she was allowing him time to complete his therapy. But when she shoved her phone in her pocket and he caught the frown that made its way across her face, he knew there was more to the picture.
"We 'bout done here, Will? My lady looks lonely."
Will looked toward where Regina was standing and back at Robin. "Look like a lovesick fool, you do."
"That's because I am," Robin agreed cheekily. "We done? I need to say hello properly."
Will smirked at his comment. "'Ere, 'ere. None of that 'ere in the 'ospital."
"Not even a little?" Robin inquired, "Especially if she's the love of your life," he finished quietly.
"Like that, is it?" Robin nodded his head. "Then I say, if you're lucky enough to find someone that you love, and she loves you, you grab on with both hands and don't let go."
"Oh, I don't plan on letting go...ever." Robin finished just as the lady in question walked up.
"What are you two so deep in discussion about?" Regina asked them, lifting a thin eyebrow.
Her prissy voice, thought Robin, reaching for her hand to draw her close, really turned him on. Of course, if he told her that, she might very well tell him to sod off, so he just grinned and kissed her hand. "Oh, we were just discussing what type of behaviors might not be appropriate in the hospital. Would you like to guess?" He did his best to give her a lascivious smile, and when she blushed knew he had succeeded.
"Oh? I'm sure I can guess." She cut her eyes away from his to look around the room as if afraid of what else might be said.
Her insecurities were so endearing that he found it difficult not to pull her down onto his lap and show her a thing or two that might not be appropriate in the hospital, but things he really wanted to experience with her. "Am I free to go, Will?" he asked without dragging his eyes away from Regina.
Will sighed dramatically, "Off with you, then," and turned the wheelchair handles toward Regina. "See you Monday."
"Thanks, Will," Robin called as Regina pushed the chair out of the rehab room and into the hallway.
"Where to, Robin? Do you want to get some fresh air?
Did he want to go outside where there might be dozens of other families visiting on a Saturday afternoon or back to the privacy of his room? "Can we go back to the room first?"
She didn't say anything as she pushed him back to his room, but he could tell something was on her mind. He hoped that once they were settled where it was quiet, she would open up to him about what was going on to cause such a frown.
"Here we are." She pushed his chair over beside the window. "Would you like something to drink?"
He nodded his head and watched her get him a glass of water, and while he drank it, she kept tucking her hair behind her ear and worrying the lipstick off her lips. He handed the cup back for her to set on the table and when she turned back his way, he pulled her down onto the arm of the chair and back into his arms. "This is what I really need," he said against her lips just before taking possession of them. The minute she gave in, he kissed her with the pent-up feelings he'd been holding onto. After longing for her for months, being with her but not really with her was rather hard and if they didn't stop, painful might have to be added to the description.
She felt so good in his arms, he groaned with pleasure, not realizing it could have misinterpreted when she pushed out of his arms and stood up. "Robin, I'm sorry," she apologized. "Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse?"
He gave her a cheeky smile and pointedly looked down at his lap and back up at her. "I'm not sure this kind of pain fits under her job description, do you?"
When she realized what he had said, her eyes widened in surprise and her cheeks blushed. "Oh, you," she exclaimed quietly.
"I'll behave," he promised. "Sit with me and tell me why you were frowning earlier."
Boston, MA
Saturday Late Afternoon
When Elsa came out of the bathroom with a head that was only slightly pounding, she considered it a win. She settled into an overstuffed chair and, with her feet tucked underneath her, leaned her head against the back. "How could I be so dumb?"
"Oh, that's easy," Anna piped up
Elsa lifted her head giving her sister a dirty look. "Gee, thanks."
Anna grinned and shrugged her shoulder. "You're welcome. Now check your phone. Do you need me, cause if not I'm off to the hospital?" She gathered her things, ready to leave no matter what the answer ended up being.
Elsa figured there was more to that story than she knew but decided it could wait 'til another day. "I'm good. Where's my phone?"
Picking it up off the table, Anna tossed it in her lap and was out the door with only a brief wave.
Elsa stared at the closed door and again wondered what was going on with Anna, but with a shake of her head she mentally saved it for later. Picking up her phone, she looked at it expecting to see a message from Ruby asking her to pick up something for the party. Instead there were multiple messages from Regina as well as a voicemail:
"Elsa, It's Regina. I'm sorry that I disappeared with no warning, but something happened. Give me a call when you get this message and I'll try to explain."
"Oh no," Elsa murmured as she dialed Regina's cell phone. "Pick up. Come on, pick up," she chanted over and over.
"Hello," she heard Regina answer somewhat breathlessly.
"Regina. It's Elsa. What happened?" As the entire story came out, Elsa found herself unable to sit still and, pushing up, paced back and forth in front of the chair.
She learned about Robin and that he was in a hospital in New York City. Regina then went on to explain that Killian had been in a coma for a few days but had awakened and been taken to Newark airport. There the story got murkier as no one knew exactly where he had gone.
But that wasn't the biggest mystery. The biggest mystery surrounded Emma and her injuries. Because everyone knew that if Emma had still been in the hospital, Killian would have been by her side. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions until she had talked to Killian, she shoved the worry aside for the moment but the question remained. What had become of Emma?
"Oh, Regina. How awful for you to have to get that call. But I'm glad Robin has you. How are things between you two?" Elsa was curious as to how much Regina would confess now that her title as Robin's professor was over.
"Things are good, Elsa. In fact, really good. He's going to stay with me when he's discharged from here."
"I'm so happy to hear that. You both deserve such happiness. Do you mind if I speak with Robin a minute, just to assure myself he's fine?"
She heard Regina hand Robin the phone, and their conversation was so intimate and so different from the last time that she had seen them together that she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face nor the tears that filled her eyes. They had waited so long to be together and now, though tragedy had struck, they had each other. "Elsa?" her friend's voice came through the line. "How are you?"
"How am I, you big dumbass? How are you? I really should kick your ass when I see you for not letting me know about the accident sooner. I'm so mad at you," she sniffed, "but very happy that you finally got the girl."
Robin chuckled, "Breathe, Elsa. You sounded a bit too much like Anna there for a second. I'm fine and I'm sorry you worried." She heard him ask Regina what day it was before he continued, "How was graduation?"
"It was graduation. But tell me about you." She learned a little more about what was in his near future, medically and that he hoped to be out of the hospital the following week.
She promised him that as soon as they hung up, she would go see if she could track down Killian.
She heard Robin hand the phone back to Regina. "He's really okay?"
Elsa could hear the smile in Regina's voice, "He's more than okay, Elsa. But yes, he's going to be fine. He's getting great care, and when I get him home I'm going to give him even better care."
She overheard Robin make a suggestive remark. "Hey TMI!" she exclaimed, "I didn't need to hear that!" and laughed at Regina scolding Robin. They are going to be just fine, she thought before pulling her thoughts back to her other friend involved in the accident. "What can I do from this end?"
"You really didn't know anything about the accident?" Regina had taken control of the phone again and the tone of her voice said she had expected someone else had relayed the information about the accident.
"No, nothing." She chewed on her bottom lip thinking that right now, Ruby, Henry, and Blue were waiting for Emma's name to be called at graduation. "Which means that neither do Ruby or Blue or any of Emma's other friends. I need to go and let them know."
"Thanks, Elsa. Please call or send a text if you find Killian or if you find out anything about Emma."
Hanging up the phone, Elsa felt a sense of urgency take hold and ran to the bedroom to throw on a pair of jeans and an old shirt. She had just slipped on her sneakers when there was a knock at the door. On the way to answer it, she drew a brush through her still wet hair and pulled it into a high ponytail. When she opened the door, all rational responses flew out of her head as she was left gasping at the sight before her.
Killian Jones, who always looked put together, was anything but. He was on his feet, but barely, his body seeming to sag against the wall and his knuckles standing out white where he was gripping the crutch too tightly. His face was pale against his dark beard that had grown long and scraggly, and when he opened his eyes, his haunted gaze pierced her very soul. She knew before he even opened his mouth that it was going to be bad. "Killian?" she whispered brokenly as the tears sprang to her eyes.
He swallowed audibly, obviously attempting to hold himself under control. "The key, Elsa. Please tell me you have the key." His whisper was that of a soul who had been tortured and was hanging on by a minuscule thread.
She felt a tear trickle over, spilling down her cheek as she reached on a shelf and picked up Emma's extra key. With measured steps, she advanced toward him, handing it to him carefully. "Emma? Killian, where's Emma?"
He closed his eyes, and with moisture leaking from the corners, whispered words she expected, but she wasn't ready to hear, "She's gone, Elsa. Emma is gone."
The shock of the words hit her with such force her phone fell out of her hands and bounced on the stairs, shattering. She couldn't move, feeling as if she were paralyzed with her feet nailed in place. Unsure what to say or how to comfort this man who had loved her friend more than life itself, she reached out to squeeze his arm, but he shrank away from her comfort.
"I can't. I need time." His body sagged even further as he turned away to open the door.
Her mind was going in a million directions, thinking of all the things that needed to be done. "Has anyone notified Blue?" she finally asked him. When he shook his head no, she decided that she would do this for her friend. "I'll handle it. Do you need anything?"
He didn't say anything right away, just leaned his forehead against the door of their apartment. Finally, he lifted his head and whispered so softly, that she had to strain to hear him, "Emma. I just need Emma."
New York City, NY
Saturday, Early Evening
On the way to Newark International Airport, Liam had tried several times to get Killian to open up to him, but the way every attempt was shut down, it seemed that the brothers had truly switched places. This time, Killian was the one who wouldn't listen or talk, which reiterated what a wanker Liam had been for years. And now within the span of a week, his brother and the woman he planned to make his wife had unknowingly started mending the pieces that had once been his heart; the heart that had shattered on that fateful day when he had walked into his apartment and found that his ideas of love and commitment were not the same as the woman he had married. He was finally admitting that he had become a bitter man who cared for no one's feelings but his own and who had treated his only living family as if he was still the lad he needed to protect. The man he had become was not someone he liked looking at in the mirror. Was he strong enough to put his heart and his family back together again?
Arriving home, he dropped his phone, keys and wallet on the table next to the door and immediately walked to the large set of windows lining one side. As dusk settled over the city, the lights spread out before him, reaching as far as the eye could see. And here he stood all alone, which was just what he deserved.
He had stopped by the office, thinking since it was Saturday, he might as well catch up on some of the work he had put off while spending time at the hospital. But even that had proven to be a bad idea, as he had spent nearly the entire time staring off into space. His thoughts had been on Killian. Worrying about Killian, except...this time, it wasn't just Killian, but also Emma's well-being that occupied his mind. And that was a foreign concept for him, thinking of someone else. Caring about someone that he had never really met.
Finally accepting that he wasn't going to get any work done, he hadn't been ready to go home to a too-quiet place, and ended up at the gym. However, after only a mile on the treadmill, he had given it up and taken a walk through Central Park. Once again, as he walked his thoughts had been on Killian and Emma and the journey they had ahead of them. According to the doctor, Emma's injuries were substantial, and she would need a strong support system. Would Killian be all she needed? If not, and she needed more, was it possible that he, too, would be allowed into their circle? Could they forgive his behavior?
Emma and her wounds filled his mind, and wondering how long it would be before she was well, he turned on his laptop and researched her injuries. His findings led him to believe that by sometime in August, her broken bones would be healed and the surgeries to replace her facial bones and teeth would be completed. Meaning that before the fall, perhaps, they would have a chance to work together to be a family. Was that possible?
When the plastic bag with Emma's belongings caught his eye, he wondered if he had the courage to get to know her through the photos on her phone, something he hadn't had the strength to do just a few days ago. The fact that it was still in his apartment and not with Killian brought to mind other questions. Why hadn't he given it to his brother? Had he worried he'd have to explain why he had it? Perhaps. Had he worried Killian would have demanded taking it to her right then? Possibly. But more than likely, it was because he hadn't been thinking about her, but about Killian and what Killian needed. Another situation where he had thought of his brother as a lad and not a man.
When the screen on her phone lit up with an incoming text, he blinked several times, wondering whom it was from. Did they know about the accident? Unable to stop himself, he opened the bag and pulled out the phone, holding it out in front of him as if it were going to explode in his hand if he moved too quickly or brought it too close. It vibrated again as he stared at it, and noticing that there were multiple messages, his thumb hovered over the screen...until...he slid it across, and the image would be forever engraved on his mind.
He was looking at a picture of a man and a woman who were so totally besotted with each other that the world around them seemed to not exist. The look, he was more than familiar with as it had been the same look his parents had given each other when they had been alive. A look that said you are my everything. A look, he acknowledged, that he had never shared with Lily. His little brother had been lucky to find the person who gave him that look. Damn, little brother, how did you get so lucky?
Scrolling through her photos, he began to get a feel of the woman behind the pretty face. There were pictures of her with not only Killian and Robin, but with other women. A brunette and two blondes, a redhead, all smiling or laughing. Several older women and children, even the little boy Liam vaguely remembered from the report he had been given. Was he Emma's as the investigator assumed?
Liam placed Emma's phone back inside the bag and tucked it into the corner of his desk. If Killian stayed in Seattle with her the entire time she was recuperating, then he had a few months to try to become a man that Killian could look in the eye and respect. To try to become that brother that he deserved. He was determined that when they arrived, he would be waiting with open arms and an open heart.
Boston, MA
Saturday Early Evening
As soon as Elsa was gone, Killian slipped the key in the lock and pushed open the door. He knew returning was going to hurt but nothing had prepared him for the distress he felt when the memories bombarded him the minute he stepped over the threshold. Kissing her against the door, loving her on the sofa, watching her sit at the table and study. One by one, the memories washed over him, causing him to feel so desolate that he was forced to lean on the sofa to maintain his balance.
When he pushed off, it took every ounce of strength he had left not to run out of the room but to move farther inside, closer to the spot where, during the last night they spent under this roof, he had asked her to marry him for the second time. But this time, he had slipped a ring on her finger. His words haunted him in how true they had proven to be.
"Swan, I know there are parts of our immediate future that are uncertain, but I want you to be sure of one thing. And that is that I will always, always be by your side."
However, he had failed her, and he had to live with that knowledge for the rest of his days. But how? How did one live without one's heart? She had been his heart, and without her in his arms and by his side, he felt that his heart had been ripped from his chest and crushed, a description that he had heard before from Liam. Was that the destiny of the Jones men? To forever be alone?
A few measured steps and his question was answered when his eye caught a picture of Emma, Henry and him, taken when they had gone whale watching. So, no, he might be without his mate, but he was not alone. There was Henry who needed him now...but could he give him everything he needed with a missing heart? After all, there was only one Killian Jones. Was there still enough to go around?
She's everywhere, he thought, as he picked up one of the sketch pads he never saw her without. The dates on the inside cover indicated the drawings were before he had moved to the states, but as with any of her work, he was immediately captivated. He found his eye drawn again and again to her renderings of Captain Hook and how closely her imagination had made him Killian Jones' twin, creating a feeling they had met in another realm and had been searching for their other halves to make them whole.
"And I did, Swan," he whispered as his finger traced the drawing, imagining he was holding Emma's hand as she moved it over the paper. "I searched my whole life to find you, and now..." the words died as a sob bubbled up inside and the pages blurred. The pain becoming too much to bear, he tossed the book aside, making his way to the bathroom to take a hot shower. As the water creaked through the old pipes, he took off the brace and groaned in pain as his knee protested. Dropping the clothes Liam had given him earlier, he stepped into the hot shower and let the steady pulsing spray pound against his aching head.
It didn't take long, though, for his mind to no longer find rest under the hot water, because as it splashed, Emma's scent quickly filled the space. Within minutes all he could feel were her soft arms circling his waist, her womanly body pressing against his back and her hands working their magic until he had taken her against the wall. Turning his face up to the shower spray, the water mingled with his tears, and as the despair rose up from inside, his cry echoed around him sounding more like a wounded animal than that of a man.
He stayed that way until the water ran cold, and then hauled his weary body out, drying and dressing in an old tee and sleep pants. A glance in the mirror told him it wasn't Killian Jones looking back at him, but the scraggly beard reminded him of the Liam as he had looked…was it just last weekend? Using his electric razor, he quickly straightened his beard until once again, the scruff in place, he was looking at the man he had been for the past few months. But that man didn't feel right, either. He had told Robin that unshaven Killian had given him luck. But unshaven Killian now was only feeling pain. Before he could change his mind, the scruff was gone and a clean-faced Killian Jones' eyes met his in the mirror. The eyes couldn't be fixed as easily. The eyes were windows to his soul, and they showed the truth.
Leaving his image behind, he walked into the bedroom where Emma's easel was the thing he saw first. She had placed it next to the bed before they left, telling him that as soon as they returned, she would show him his gift. Could he look at it without her? Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and slowly reached out his hand to yank off the covering. As the picture slowly came into view, he found his legs would no longer support his weight and slid down onto the edge of the bed, instantly transported back in time.
"I believe when two souls are destined to meet, when they become one, nothing can pull them apart. Today, with these beads, I thee wed for as long as this rock, this earth, this sea and the sky shall live. And I promise you that I will never forget these beads and our promise to each other and what they stand for. I love you Killian."
"And I promise to always be there when you need me and to never, ever say goodbye to you. I love you Emma."
She had painted their cliff with the rock and the water and the trees, blended together on the canvas as if they were living and breathing. When he closed his eyes, he could smell the seawater, feel the breeze blowing across his skin and hear her telling him how much she loved him in that sweet voice he loved so much, and as the pain washed over him, he couldn't breathe.
Falling back, he buried his face in the pillows and let everything inside bubble over and spill out. The smell of her surrounded him, bringing with it not comfort, but more pain, squeezing his chest painfully until he gasped for breath and slid down onto the floor. As the tears cascaded down his face, his eyes stared up at her creation and rocking back and forth, he whispered, "I love you, Swan," over and over again.
Boston, MA
Saturday Evening
When the car was parked in front of the Home, Blue sent Henry inside to change before turning to Ruby. "This wasn't your fault." She hoped to calm her down, as she had noticed how tightly Ruby was gripping the steering wheel on the way home.
Ruby didn't say anything for a few minutes, just stood there worrying her bottom lip before she finally mumbled, "But the-"
"No buts," Blue interrupted before any negative thoughts could be spoken where they might take root and grow. "No black ball is able to tell you the future. I told you girls that when you were growing up, and it's still true today."
"I know, Blue. But this isn't like Emma." She looked at her watch. "And Victor will be here in thirty minutes for us to catch our flight, so..."
Hooking her arm with Ruby's, Blue directed them toward the house. "I know you're worried, Ruby, and so am I, but you have a responsibility to be on that ship for the next six months. I will keep you posted."
"Promise?" Ruby sighed, knowing there was really no other option.
"I promise." As soon as she felt Ruby relax, Blue squeezed her hand and continued, "Since we stayed on campus waiting, Ashley and Elsa should already be inside. Let's go see if they've heard from Emma or Killian."
Walking toward the door, something told Blue that once inside they wouldn't find out any more information about Emma than they already knew, and were going to have to expand their questioning. She felt her mama bear protective streak rising up inside her, something she hadn't had to use since the incident with Neal, and knew that she wouldn't rest until she had found all the answers she needed.
Seattle, WA
Saturday, Early Evening PST
David slipped behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on the gentle swell of her stomach. "How are we feeling?"
"We," she leaned back against him, "are feeling fine. How was your emergency?"
He helped her set the table, and once they had each helped themselves to the various Chinese takeout items he had brought home, filled her in on what had taken him to the hospital on a Saturday afternoon.
When he was finished with his story, Mary Margaret contemplated him with her professional eye. "There's more, isn't there David?" she asked him quietly.
He should have known she would be able to see right through him as he slowly got up from his chair and pulled the picture from his briefcase. "I stopped by to check on Emma on my way out and found this." He handed her the picture.
He watched her catch her breath as she studied the drawing and when she looked up, her eyes were glassy. "Oh dear. That poor girl."
David wasn't sure he had ever seen her so empathetic over an amnesiac before and pulling her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. "If she's calling herself Kate Blue, can Emma Swan find her way back?"
It took her a few minutes to control herself but when she did, she picked up the picture once again. "Emma's in pain for some reason, but yes. She will be back, stronger and more beautiful than ever. Until then, if she feels stronger as Kate Blue, then I'm going to allow it. But I'll never stop trying to get her to remember Emma. You can count on that."
Boston, MA
Saturday Evening EST
Henry wasn't stupid and could tell that the adults were worried about Emma and Killian, but thought if they kept it to themselves, he wouldn't know. He knew. He also knew that Blue was trying to act calm for the sake of all the other adults around her, but he had caught her wiping her eyes with a tissue. He knew it was something bad.
Ruby and Victor had driven off a while ago after a lot of hugging and tears, but after she had promised to send him some really cool stuff, he had given her one more hug and waved goodbye. Ashley and Sean were somewhere in the house with their baby, Alex, trying to get her to go to sleep, and everyone else was waiting for Elsa. Apparently, her sister, Anna, had told Blue that Elsa had planned on attending the party, but no one had heard directly from Elsa herself. He had to wonder about adults sometimes, as he got in trouble if he didn't check in. Yet, here it was almost a week since he'd heard from Emma and Killian and he hadn't heard from them. He didn't think Roland had heard from Robin either, and yet, chances were, they didn't see anything wrong with their actions. There was something wrong with that picture, as Blue would say.
Watching out the window of his bedroom, he caught sight of Elsa running up the walk, and without thinking he took off down the stairs. He reached the first floor just in time to see Blue quiet her and then quickly lead her down the hall toward the offices. He followed quietly, taking care not to step on the squeaky boards and listened outside the door.
"Blue," Elsa took deep breaths and tried to get her breathing under control. "Have you heard about the accident?"
"Accident? No nothing. Tell me." Blue sounded upset but he didn't think she was crying yet.
Elsa told Blue about talking to Regina and hearing that Emma, Killian and Robin had all been involved in a horrible car accident on Monday. She went on to say that Robin was in New York having to learn how to walk again.
"Oh, that poor boy," Blue exclaimed. "I'll have to contact his father. Did Regina know anything about Emma or Killian?"
When Elsa started speaking again, her voice softened, and Henry thought she might be crying, but since he didn't want to risk being seen, he stayed hidden. "I saw Killian, Blue. He looks awful, not only physically, but his eyes are haunted. He looked like he was barely able to hold himself together.
"And our girl, Elsa. What of Emma?"
This time, Elsa was crying so hard, Henry had trouble understanding her, but when she said, "Killian refused to talk to me but he did say one thing." She sniffed and blew her nose before continuing, "He said, 'Emma is gone.' How can that be, Blue?"
The minute Henry heard those words, he didn't wait around to hear anything else. He needed to get to Killian and find out what was going on. Grabbing his jacket and one of the extra Charlie Cards for the T, he took off running before anyone could stop him. He needed to find Killian and he needed to find him now.
CS~CS~CS
The knock on the door roused Killian from where he had slouched against the side of the bed, trying to escape from his grief. But it didn't seem to matter where he was or what he was doing, the grief continued to bombard him, sometimes just a little and other times it overwhelmed him, coming in waves. Not interested in hearing any platitudes he ignored the knocking until it came again. This time louder, more forcefully.
As he made his way to the door, he wiped his face and prepared to face questions that he wasn't ready to think about or even talk about, but when he opened the door, instead of questions, he was met by the rush of a small, but sturdy body. Henry wrapped his arms around Killian's legs and turned up his tear-stained face. "Is it true? Is it true, Killian? Is Emma gone?"
Killian looked down into the freckled face of the little boy who had come to mean so much to him and Emma, and wished he didn't have to break the child's heart. "Aye, lad. It's true." He whispered brokenly.
"But it can't be true, Killian. It can't be. We need her," cried Henry. "We were going to be a family." Henry's little body was shaking so hard that, in his weakened state, Killian was afraid they were both going to fall.
Sliding toward the sofa, he sat down, pulling Henry onto his lap. As Henry relaxed against him, Killian leaned his cheek on the top of his head. "Is that what you want, Henry? To be a family?"
Henry nodded his head, snuggling even closer against Killian's chest. "Then we shall. And I know just the person to help make it happen."
And we finally reached the bottom of the roller coaster so all we can do now is go up but sadly you're going to have to wait until Jan 3 to catch up with the next step in their journey. I will try to put out a bit of the chapter early though and my goal is to preview it 12/31. My Happy New Year to you all...
So Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and please, let me know what you thought of Chapter 19.