Welcome back. Last week we learned that Liam found out that Killian believe Emma was dead, instead of in Seattle as had previously thought. We also learned that Sister Blue was the one who contacted Mary Margaret.
Chapter 22
NID Offices
New York City, NY
Wednesday, Mid-Morning
After leaving the Human Resources Department, Killian had every intention of stopping by Nemo's office before going to talk to Liam, but instead of going right, he turned left toward the lunchroom. Since Nemo had been gone all summer, he was afraid there would be too many questions asked that he wasn't quite ready to answer. He hoped that once he spoke to Liam, he might be able to get a handle on some of the dots that wouldn't quite connect inside of his head. Until then, he was hoping to...avoid.
"Killian," he heard his name being called in that booming bass that could only be the person he'd been trying to elude.
"Shite," he mumbled under his breath as he turned in the direction of the speaker, only to see Nemo seated with a rather elegant looking woman. Giving the duo a smile that felt almost foreign to him, he made his way across the room. "Nemo." His smile grew as his father's best friend stood and wrapped him in his arms just like he had done when he was small. And just like had always been the case, Killian relaxed when in this man's company.
"Killian, my boy," Nemo murmured, his sympathetic voice causing the lump in his throat to start rising to the surface.
Catching a quick breath, Killian whispered back, "Not now, please," and just like always, Nemo didn't push, knowing that when he was ready, he would talk.
"Let me introduce you to my lovely bride." Nemo helped her to her feet, "Cora, this is Killian. Killian, meet Cora."
Killian shook her hand, and small talk was made before Cora made her excuses and departed, leaving him alone with the man who often saw more than Killian typically wanted him to see.
"Killian, can you sit with me?"
Looking into Nemo's expectant face, Killian had to clench his jaw to keep from making his own excuses to leave, but knew that first awkward conversation would have to happen sometime. "Alright."
They sat down and as they continued to talk, Killian could tell that Nemo was working his way around to...something. He just wasn't sure what to expect or when it was going to come, and so when it did, he was taken aback by what was revealed.
"Killian," Nemo started, bringing his head up, "have you spoken with Liam?" He gave a quick, negative shake of his head and Nemo continued. "Life has a way of making you think when you least expect it. And your brother, he's a man of many layers-"
"-I'm aware that…" Killian interrupted before Nemo barreled on.
"He's not been an easy man, but since May he's not been the same man."
Killian couldn't help but wonder exactly what that could mean. Since May? Was it because of the accident? Was it because of how Liam had felt when he had been in the coma? Or was there some other event that had triggered an unraveling of those layers that Nemo mentioned? Killian couldn't wait to find out.
Group Home
Boston, MA
Wednesday, Mid-Morning
Blue hadn't been able to stop the tears from falling ever since yesterday and her conversation with Robin and Regina. It had been such a huge relief to share her burden with someone who cared about Emma and Killian and yet...the journey wasn't over. In fact, in many ways the journey had just begun.
Blurting out, "Emma's alive and working her way back to us," without much warning probably hadn't been the best way to approach the topic, but once it was out there, she dove right into her story.
Her journey to uncover the truth had all started that fateful day in May when family and friends had gathered together to celebrate Emma and Killian's graduation and marriage, and the day had ended with Elsa's words, "Emma's gone, Blue. Emma's gone."
Shock.
Sorrow.
Helpless.
Lost.
Just a few of the emotions that had washed over her before her knees had buckled and Elsa had to help her to a chair. Numb, she sat there for what could have been minutes or hours until something inside of her screamed, "FIX THIS." With her brain functioning once again, she had peppered poor Elsa with numerous questions, most of which she had been unable to answer.
Deciding the only way she would get answers, Blue put on her sweater and prepared to go to find Killian. When she opened the door, to her shock and surprise, she found him leaning against the door frame. Killian was pale, the cuts on his face still showing red against his light complexion. He appeared frail, as if he had lost weight, and his legs were barely able to hold him. With one hand wrapped around the door frame and the other holding onto Henry, he looked as if he were about to pass out.
She had looked into his eyes, which had been haunted and so sad and lonely that they just about broken her heart, and although she tried to get him to answer a few questions, she had been loath to push very far. Unable to learn any specifics about the accident, she turned her attention to Henry and what his needs might be at a time like this. Once she uncovered those, her goal had been helping the man and boy find a way to be together so they could heal. And while they were together...healing...she turned her attention to the investigation.
The problem was that without knowing exactly where the accident occurred, she had to systematically work her way between Boston and Atlantic City, researching motor vehicle accidents all along the way. Once she found an accident, she researched the type of car involved and then tracked down victims at the hospitals, of which there were many. It had taken her five weeks to find the name of Doctor James Nolan, only to be told he was away for a few weeks. And once he returned from vacation, she had to fly to Newark to meet with him in person. But that hadn't gone the way she had anticipated, either...
"Doctor Nolan, please tell me if you treated Emma Swan back in May," she pleaded with him.
There had been a look in his eyes when she had asked him the question that she had been unable to decipher. "Sister Blue," he clasped his hands together as if to prevent them from reaching for something, "I wish I could help you. But there are privacy laws, and whether I treated someone or not, cannot be discussed."
She hadn't taken no for an answer, and forty-eight hours later she was back in his office, this time with a signed and notarized piece of paper giving him the ability to let her know that, yes...he had treated Emma Swan and, yes...she was gone...but not as in dead...as in she had been sent across the country to get the best care possible. All she heard, though, was that Emma was alive and her heart rejoiced.
Somewhere over the US
Wednesday, Late Morning
Throughout his transcontinental flight, Liam kept replaying his conversation with Henry, trying to figure out how he could have been so wrong about so many things. Not only had he been wrong about Emma and what kind of person she was, but apparently everything he had believed about Henry too.
Emma hadn't been the mother as had been suggested in that damned background report that he had commissioned on her, which would explain why he had only shown up in pictures after the first of the year. Where had he come from, though? And Elsa had referred to him as his nephew. Was he now living full time with Killian?
And the biggest mistake of all, how Killian had come to believe that Emma was dead?
"She died in May. Didn't you know that?"
Where had Killian gotten the impression that Emma had died? And why hadn't he asked? Because, he answered his own question, he had taken a page out of the Liam Jones Handbook and didn't want to talk about it, as talking about it hurt too much. Something you know a little about, don't you?
Liam knew all about that pain. He also knew...now...that not talking about it didn't make it go away. It didn't make it hurt any less. In fact, quite the opposite. It had only served to isolate him from his family and friends, making the pain even more extreme.
Liam shook his head disgusted with himself at how long it had taken him to learn that not talking about what hurt was the wrong thing to do. That, just as Nemo had pointed out, when you are in pain...that is when you need your family. A tiny crack in the armor around his heart had appeared the minute he had opened up to Killian, forcing him to examine his feelings, piece by piece. And once that armor had disappeared, his heart could begin to mend, and now three months later, he could say that it was actually beating again. And just maybe...no, he couldn't allow his thoughts to focus on himself until Killian and Emma were reunited.
They had been in the air over four hours and still had a few to go, but with the time difference, he was hopeful that he would be able to meet with the brother of the doctor that had recommended this hospital in the first place. He had been told that Doctor David Nolan was usually in the office until six, and with a little luck he could be having dinner with Emma tonight and they could be loaded back on the plane and ready to head back home tomorrow. He could just imagine the looks on Killian and Henry's faces as soon as they arrived.
Faces of joy.
Faces of love.
NID Offices
New York City, NY
Wednesday, Noonish
Elsa hung up the phone and pushed back from her desk, thinking that had to be the most boring call she had been involved in yet. It's just because Liam Jones wasn't sitting next to you, her inner voice taunted her.
"Oh, shut up," she snapped back. "You don't know what you're talking about."
I don't? She heard it say. I know more than you're willing to admit.
"Oh, really?" Elsa pushed up from her chair no longer able to sit still. "What do you think you know?" she huffed out.
I know he gets you. I know he makes you feel special. I know you've relived what happened in Key West at least a hundred times.
"Not quite a hundred," Elsa murmured as she leaned against the window and stared out at the street ten floors below. "Not quite a hundred," she repeated again as the memory of their encounter floated through her mind.
"I shouldn't do this," he whispered, his voice hoarse and edgy.
"Do what?" she asked, never assuming she would get the answer he gave.
"Kiss you."
"No?"
Instead of responding, he edged closer to her, his lips hovering precariously close to hers. Her sudden intake of air was all she had time for before their mouths met.
His hands framed her face as he pressed hot and hard against her. She gasped for air but never thought of pulling away. It consumed her. He consumed her.
His mouth inched upward until his teeth nipped and caught at her upper lip. His tongue licked and laved before he released her lip and moved to the corner of her mouth.
Forgotten was her sunscreen. Forgotten were all the reasons why she shouldn't be kissing this man because all that existed for her was him. His touch, his kiss, his very essence wound around her, filling her until everything else disappeared.
She reached for him, sliding her hands over his shoulders. Her fingers inched toward his neck until one hand cupped the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. She nibbled back at his mouth, meeting him kiss for kiss, lick for lick.
"Liam," she whispered as he let go of her and stepped back. "What?" She frowned up at him, unsure what had just happened.
"Okay, a hundred and one," Elsa admitted to herself as the kiss ended in the same manner as it had on Monday and she was once again left with questions. Why did he kiss her? Or better yet, why did he stop? "Didn't he like it?" she asked the empty room.
"Didn't he like what?" a British accented voice asked, nearly giving her a heart attack until she turned around and saw it was just Killian.
Just Killian, she thought, a nice looking guy but he doesn't make my heart beat double time like his older brother does. "Ugh, what?" Elsa asked as she walked back to her desk to close the files she had spread out.
Killian walked all the way into her office and leaned on the back of one of the chairs. "You said, "‛Didn't he like it?'" he told her patiently, "so I asked, 'Didn't he like what?'"
She shook her head slightly. "Nothing...much. Just something," she waved her hand over the files on her desk, "from my call," she quickly made up, hoping there wouldn't be anymore questions. "Sorry. What brings you by my office?"
He looked like he might say more for a minute, but then moved on. "I thought I would ask you to take Henry for a hot dog while I talk with Liam."
Elsa watched his body language, thinking that the conversation between Killian and Liam might be uncomfortable, but based on what little she knew about the past two years, it was past due. "I'd love to take Henry to lunch. Let's go get him."
On the way to Liam's office, Elsa explained why Henry was with Liam and Killian talked a little about running into Nemo and meeting Cora. Elsa wanted to ask how he was doing but was worried he wasn't ready. She still wanted to say she was sorry. That she missed Emma too and so much more, yet none of the words would come. They hung unsaid in the air around them, creating a barrier, almost as if Emma's presence was felt, but there was something keeping her out of the conversation.
They heard Henry chattering away as they reached Colleen's office. When they walked in, he was leaning over Colleen's shoulder, pointing at something on the computer screen.
"Looks like Henry's made a friend," Elsa whispered to Killian.
"Killian! Elsa!" Henry exclaimed, running around the desk giving them each a hug.
"Ahoy there, mate." Killian ruffled his hair. "Sorry I'm a bit late. Elsa's going to buy you a hotdog while I talk to Liam, if that's alright with you."
While Killian spoke to Henry, Elsa glanced into Liam's office, expecting to see him walking toward them, and when she didn't, she looked at Colleen and raised her brows. "Liam left?" she asked, a little surprised.
Colleen nodded her head, the expression on her face one of concern. "He did. He was in there with Henry and then…" she shrugged her shoulder, "he walked out with his briefcase without saying a word."
Elsa felt Killian move in next to her, "Liam left? Where did he go?"
"I'm sorry, Killian. I don't know what to tell ye," Colleen apologized, "but Henry was quite nice company."
"He is that," He agreed with her, absentmindedly running his fingers through Henry's hair.
Elsa couldn't help but be disappointed with how the day had played out, but from the look on Killian's face, he was even more so. What was it he wanted to talk to Liam about? she wondered for the second or third time.
"I'm hungry," Henry interrupted her private thoughts.
"Okay," she smiled at him, "grab your backpack and I'll show you and Killian where to find the best hotdogs on the block."
Seattle Grace Hospital Preschool
Seattle, WA
Wednesday, Late Afternoon
Since she left Doctor Blanchard's office on Tuesday afternoon, she had been struggling with her identity. They said her name was Emma Swan, yet Emma Swan was still someone else. Her solution had been to come up with a name that she could relate to and she had become Kate Blue. But Kate Blue was a photographer, and now that her arm was free of the cast, she felt most comfortable sketching or drawing, and several times her hand itched for a paintbrush. Could the secret to integrating the two people who swam around inside her head be to step into Kate's shoes?
Since she had awakened from her dream on Monday morning, a dream that had felt so...real, she had been feeling anxious, desperate even, to rediscover who the person was that looked back at her each day. The feelings the dream left inside of her were so powerful...so overwhelmingly amazing that when she found them again...and she would find them again...she was grabbing hold with both hands and never letting go. Life was too short, and she wanted hers back.
Tossing a handful of pencils and a sketchbook into her bag, she left her room, making her way to the preschool located at Seattle Grace Hospital. The many faces of the children lined the hall that she walked down, some smiling, some pensive, some sad, but all captured by the camera wielded by Kate Blue. Her goal today was to see if they could also be captured by Emma Swan.
Once she arrived, she found a spot, unpacked her bag and started drawing.
Seattle Grace Hospital
Office of Doctor Mary Margaret Blanchard
Thursday, 9:00am PST
When Mary Margaret arrived at her office Thursday morning, she was surprised to see Emma pacing back and forth in front of her door. "Emma? I didn't expect you this early," she asked hesitantly.
Emma stopped pacing and frowned as if she were trying to decide what to say. "I'm sorry. I'm just..."
"Honey, why don't you come inside and tell me what's going on? Can you do that?" Unlocking her office door, she led the way inside, dropped her things on the table and sat down.
Watching Emma's agitation as she paced back and forth gave her some cause for concern until Emma spread out some drawings on the table in front of her. She recognized some of the children as those that belonged to colleagues as well as from photographs that Emma, or rather Kate had taken, but these were pure Emma. "Did you remember something else?" she asked softly, hoping some of the anxiety her patient was feeling would dissipate.
"Yes...and no." Emma answered just as softly as she sat down across from her. "I thought I might remember something about my life, as Emma, if I tried to take something I remembered doing as Kate and do it Emma style. Does that make sense?"
Mary Margaret looked carefully at the drawings in front of her. "You mean because your instincts lately have been to draw, and not to take photographs?" Emma nodded her head in agreement. "Then I say nicely done. It makes a lot of sense because when we engage in an activity, our memories are often triggered to remember the last time we did said activity. I'm interested to hear what it was that you remembered."
She watched Emma look down at the drawings spread out on the table. "As I was drawing these, I kept having this strong feeling of deja vu. Like I had done it before but that's all, just a feeling...until..." She picked up one picture and handed it to Mary Margaret. "This little boy is not someone who goes to the preschool. He's too old, and he looks like he might be ten or eleven.
Mary Margaret took the picture and immediately knew that Emma had drawn the little boy who had been part of the reason for some of the secrets. "Do you recognize him?"
"I don't," Emma answered sadly. "I feel like I should, but I just don't."
Watching her face, Mary Margaret could see the frustration and disappointment over not remembering him and was somewhat relieved about her decision to wait to share the news. She just hoped the memories happened quickly as time was running out. "Don't push it and try not to be too upset that you don't. Remember, pushing too hard can be just as hard on the brain as not pushing enough. We must all find that balance."
Emma sighed as she leaned back in the chair. "I know. It's just," she pulled a ribbon off her wrist and angrily tied her hair back, "there are so many questions I need answers for and all of them start with why. A big, fat w...h...y...why."
"I know, Swan." Mary Margaret threw out Emma's nickname to see if it brought forth any memories.
Emma's head came up when she heard the nickname. "What did you call me?"
"Swan." Mary Margaret frowned at her. "Why? Does that nickname sound familiar?"
Emma closed her eyes and tilted her head as if listening to someone. "It's there, Doctor Blanchard," she told her quietly as a little smile played across her lips. "Like when you're making love and you are searching for that magical...place. But...even though you climb...and then climb higher...you can never fall over the edge."
Now, that's an interesting analogy, Mary Margaret thought. "Keep reaching, Emma. It's there waiting for you to grab it." She smiled as she pushed the last drawing aside. This one had no children in it, but was of Captain Hook and what could very well be Emma, locked in a heated embrace on a beach. "Is this new?"
"Aye, this morning," Emma murmured, seemingly unaware of her response. "I dreamed I was sitting on a beach alone and then...I wasn't." She met Mary Margaret's eyes. "In my dream, I looked up and there he was." Her voice faded as if she were reliving the moment all over again.
"And what did you do?" she encouraged her patient to continue.
Emma looked up, and with the biggest, most genuine smile on her face, answered, "I ran to him. Just as fast as I could run…I ran to him and when he caught me...I was home." She wiped the tears away, and then as if pulled by some invisible force, her fingertips trailed along her bottom lip. "I can still feel his lips. Still taste him." Her eyes suddenly focused, catching Mary Margaret in their net. "It was a memory, wasn't it?"
"I would agree with that assessment, Emma. Are you ready?"
Slowly, Emma nodded her head, "I remember feeling only fear when I first came here, when I heard the name Emma Swan. Now...I only feel anticipation, thanks to you." She stretched her hand in the doctor's direction.
"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret reached forward and clasped Emma's outstretched hand. "I'm so happy for you."
"Me too," she sniffed, smiling through her tears. "Were you successful in finding the name to the song? I thought perhaps it would trigger..."
Loews Hotel
Seattle, WA
Thursday Morning
A string of thunderstorms across the middle part of the country had waylaid his plan of meeting with Doctor Nolan on Wednesday afternoon, landing him in a hotel with nothing to do but think. But with all the thinking he had been doing since May, he was ready for action, so much so that he found himself wandering the hospital grounds hoping to see Emma so he could plead his case. When that hadn't happened, he'd ended up back in his room where only the repetitive motion of push-ups and sit-ups had exhausted him enough for him to sleep.
Both the time difference and his anxiousness served to play havoc with his sleep pattern, which was how he found himself out walking as the sun came up. It's a new day, he thought as the sun topped the buildings in downtown Seattle. Is it too much to hope it's going to be a new start for Emma, Killian and me?
Pushing that thought aside, he stopped in one of those shops that sold souvenir trinkets to pass the time. When he spotted a globe with the space needle inside, he knew he needed to buy one for Colleen. She seemed to have several of them as there was always a different one on desk. He'd even seen her shaking one a time or two and when he questioned her, she told him it calmed her. As he turned it upside down and then righted it, he watched the bubbles clear and the tiny flakes settle on the ground once more and had to admit there was something slightly hypnotic about the process.
On his way to pay for it, he passed by t-shirts, magnets, rings, bracelets and delicate silver chains. It didn't take too much to imagine him buying one for Elsa and slipping it around her elegant neck. And it didn't take too much imagination to picture himself placing a kiss right there on her neck, over where the clasp would rest. He knew just how she would smell and, god help him, just how she would taste. Not willing to allow his thoughts to continue down that road, he turned away from the exhibit right into a stack of stuffed animals, knocking them everywhere. "Bloody hell!"
"Can I help you, sir?" A petite brunette materialized at his side.
"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly as he handed her a few of the animals he was trying to add to the stack. "I was looking for something for my...nephew," he settled on, but it sounded foreign even to his ear.
She looked around the store, full of items for children. "Tell me what he enjoys, as that may help narrow down our search."
He wasn't sure what to say, as the real answer was he had no idea, but didn't want to look like any bigger git than he already did. "I'm not really sure," he started, before prefacing it with, "he's just come to live with my brother."
"Ahh, okay. Well, I'm sure we can choose something."
She took him to a wall that held an assortment of items. There were models of the Space Needle, whales, seals and cars. Spy glasses for staring out to sea or into space. Pens, pencils, books, yet nothing really stood out until he spied an intricately designed totem hidden behind one of the Space Needle models. "This," he handed it to the salesperson. "This is perfect." He would suggest when he handed it to Henry that they research the meaning of it together.
"It's beautiful," she agreed. Taking it from him, she searched for a box to pack it in before leading him to the check-out counter. "Is there anything else?"
He didn't think, just went with his instinct and chose a delicate silver chain with a heart, his heart, he thought, hanging from it. "And this," he handed it to her, telling himself he felt guilty for knocking the display over and wanted to give her a good sale. If he could hear his subconscious laughing at him, he chose to ignore it until he was out of the shop and on his way to meet with Doctor Nolan.
Seattle Grace Hospital
Doctor David Nolan's Office
Thursday Morning
David finished his rounds and returned to his office with time to spare before his 9:30 a.m. appointment showed. "Liam Jones," he murmured, curious as to why Liam would be meeting with him after all this time. But then again, after the bizarre conversation he'd had with James and then what his wife had learned from Sister Blue, he wondered if perhaps that would be the topic of the conversation.
His assistant knocked on the door and ushered in a tall man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. "Doctor Nolan, your 9:30 appointment, Mr. Liam Jones."
Standing, David met him halfway, holding out his hand. "Mr. Jones. It's a pleasure."
"Doctor Nolan, thank you for seeing me so quickly."
David noticed his handshake was firm but there was something about the body language that gave him the impression that Mr. Jones was nervous. Was there something going on with the brother that he has to fix? David wondered, as there were times in his and James' lives when David had intervened...before, that is, James finally grew out of his propensity for getting in trouble.
"No problem at all. I'm happy to meet anyone who donates so…generously to help someone in need." His visitor winced subtly and clenched his fists, which David did not expect, making him even more curious as to the nature of the visit. "Come sit."
David led Liam to a group of chairs next to the window where they sat down, and when Liam didn't immediately start talking decided to just toss all his cards onto the table, so to speak. "I'm assuming you're here because we, Emma's doctors that is, decided that it was best to keep her state a secret from your brother and the rest of her friends, except for Sister Blue, as she seems to be the one who figured everything out."
The way Liam tilted his head and frowned at little told David he had jumped the gun and there might be some explaining to do. "Sister Blue?" Liam asked. "What did she figure out?"
"Why, that Emma was being treated here and not dead. Although," he shook his head, "I'm not sure where that idea came from."
"Neither am I," Liam answered, "but I will get to the bottom of it. But that doesn't answer my question about Sister Blue and what she knows and why she didn't speak to my brother.
Because Mary Margaret had gotten Emma to sign the privacy papers, David felt comfortable sharing what he knew with Emma's future brother-in-law.
He told Liam what he knew about Sister Blue's search for information about the accident that finally led her to University Hospital and to his brother. Once she had shown him a notarized paper stating that she could get information regarding Emma's health, James had helped her understand Emma's injuries and why she had been sent across the country.
"But that still doesn't explain why Emma being here was kept from my brother," Liam pointed out.
"Mr. Jones," David asked, his voice laced with confusion, "shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?"
Liam wiped his hand over his face and pushed himself up. "It's just all such a mess."
The pain in his voice was evident, even to someone like him who wasn't trained to notice that kind of thing. Since Mary Margaret was the lead on Emma's case, David thought maybe she should be the one to explain her reasoning behind wanting the secret kept. "Walk with me, Mr. Jones. There's someone I'd like you to meet."
~~~CS~~~
Liam was having a hard time processing the pieces of information being tossed his direction. While he wasn't 100% sure, he thought Sister Blue was someone from Emma's past. Her name was familiar, as if he had read it in a report, but how she tracked down the doctor, what led her here, and why the bloody hell he wasn't notified and it was all kept a bloody secret, he didn't know.
But isn't that what you wanted?" he heard as plainly as if the doctor he was walking with had uttered it.
"For maybe five minutes," he muttered silently, as he tried to put all the pieces together, kicking himself yet again for his arsehole behavior. He just hoped he could fix things and that there would be no more obstacles.
Doctor Mary Margaret Blanchard's Office
Thursday Morning
Since Mary Margaret had just said goodbye to Emma and wasn't expecting anyone else for another hour, the sound of her husband's voice brought her to the office door. David was standing with his back to her speaking with Emma, but it was the look on the face of the man standing next to him that drew her attention. David had just introduced Emma to him as Kate Blue and when she smiled and held out her hand, he was wrecked. If she hadn't been watching so closely, she wouldn't have caught the signs, but the slight flare of his nostrils, the way he struggled to swallow, and the way he kept shifting his weight from one leg to the other told her he was on the verge of falling apart. She hadn't heard his name but she'd bet her license he was someone connected to Emma Swan and had just discovered the secret.
Hoping to prevent all the progress that they'd made from being undone, Mary Margaret waded into middle of the conversation. "David, I didn't know you were coming by this morning." She positioned herself so Emma couldn't see her face and squeezed his arm while indicating with her eyes, get the hell in my office! Thankfully he took the hint and made excuses so he and his guest could follow her into her inner sanctum.
As soon as the door closed, she watched the mystery man deflate and thought to herself, one of two responses will occur. Either he'll scream and yell or he'll fall apart like he appeared to be on the verge of a few seconds ago. The emotions crossing his face were easily seen as she watched shock, sadness, fear, dismay and then something else...was it disgust? Or...was it guilt?
His eyes locked on hers, blue...similar to the ones in Emma's dreams, and they were awhirl with emotion. "She has amnesia, doesn't she?"
The fear in his voice hurting her in its intensity, and worried about what would happen once she answered, Mary Margaret approached him slowly. "Yes, I'm sorry."
"She remembers nothing?" he whispered brokenly.
"Very little."
He paced the room, like a caged animal who was being stalked and knew the end was near, but wasn't ready to give up without a fight. She kept expecting him to take that energy inside and throw something, yell, knock things on the floor, something...but he just continued to pace, mumbling to himself under his breath.
David seemed to expect it too, as he moved closer to her as if to shield her and the baby from this man's unpredictable behavior, his body taut, ready to jump in should the need arise, but the stranger hadn't gotten close enough to even touch her. In fact, just the opposite...he seemed to move away from...preferring to be alone with his feelings.
When he stopped abruptly in front of her table, she thought, this is it and worried he would pick up the drawings spread there, ripping them to shreds. As he bent over and picked up one of the pictures, she dug her nails into David's arm, anticipating its destruction and then...
He turned his tear stained face in her direction, and cried, "What have I done? Oh, what have I done?" Then, a broken man, he crumpled to the floor.
Mary Margaret stopped David when he would have crossed the room to help him, "I've got this. Let me guess. The brother?"
"Yes, Liam Jones," he told her softy. "You sure?"
She nodded her head. "We'll be fine. Tell Donna to hold my calls. This may take a while."
Seattle Grace Hospital Grounds
Seattle, WA
Thursday Morning
When Emma walked out of Doctor Blanchard's office, she had been humming the words to the song that still, after four days, refused to leave her head.
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I am not afraid to say I love you
And I promise you, I'll never say goodbye"
And now that she knew the title, "I'll Never Say Goodbye," her plan was to go back and find that song on the internet. There had to be a reason it wouldn't leave her head...words like trust...and love...and promises. And goodbye...was that what happened to her? Had she been running from something...or someone had been her last thought before running into Doctor Nolan and the man with the eyes.
The man with the eyes that were so tortured that even though she didn't know him, she knew him. She could feel his confusion...his sense of loss...his pain. Was he here for Doctor Blanchard's help, too?
His name was Liam Jones, which meant nothing to her, but his eyes...they were saying something. Unsure where such a thought would have come from, she continued her walk back to Anita's Place. But once she had returned and she couldn't shake the feeling that a message had been sent, she pulled out her sketch pad. If she couldn't receive the message as Kate Blue, perhaps she could as Emma Swan.
Pencil in hand, she drew.
Doctor Mary Margaret Blanchard's Office
Thursday Morning
When Liam Jones crumpled to the floor, Mary Margaret's first inclination had been to wrap her arms around him, giving him comfort. But the reality was she didn't know him, and he wasn't her patient, which meant she had no idea if he would be receptive or not. Settling on the sofa next to him, she laid her hand on his shoulder, silently offering support.
The longer he sat there with his face buried in his arms and his arms resting on his knees, his shoulders shaking, the more she wanted to jump in with both feet to see how she could help. But with his current body language saying back off, she was trying to be patient, even though ignoring someone in pain wasn't her strong suit. For Emma, she thought, as something told her there was more going on inside him than just finding out Emma had amnesia.
His arrival in the picture had come as a surprise, and she was a little worried about how it had affected Emma. As far as she knew, James had recommended them for Emma's care and Liam hadn't batted an eye. He had arranged money to be transferred to cover all her services as well as her rent at Anita's Place, allowing her to get the best treatment and live comfortably for at least a year, if needed. Where had the breakdown in communication occurred?
While waiting for Liam to talk to her, Mary Margaret mentally reviewed what had been discussed with Sister Blue. Between the basic information from the Sister and what she had learned from James and Doctor Hopper, there were many pieces that still needed to be connected so the journey could continue. And whether he believed it or not, this man next to her was as much a part of that journey as Emma and Killian. Helping them find their way out of the maze and onto the right path was the next step in healing. And after promising herself and Emma that she would help her, finding the piece that they needed to get there was her goal.
From Sister Blue, Mary Margaret had learned that upon being discharged from the hospital, the fiance told a friend that Emma had died. When she tried to get more information from him, he was unable to give her any answers, turning away from everyone except for a young boy, Henry. For weeks, she had put her grief aside and focused on helping the boy and man, but, not willing to accept help in any way, the man had asked if he could take the boy away. It had been weeks before she spoke to him again and in the interim started looking for answers to the questions running through her mind.
Once Sister Blue had received all the information possible from James, she had set her sights on getting to Emma, which led her to the phone call. Mary Margaret's session with Emma was just about over when the phone rang and on the other end...Sister Blue.
Without permission to divulge any information about Emma's case, their first conversation had been Blue doing all the talking, filling her in on Emma's background information, which included her love of Fairytales and Killian Jones, who was Emma's very own Captain Hook.
Needing more answers, Mary Margaret had contacted her brother-in-law, James, and asked him to find out what he could about the situation. His return call had given her no answers as to why Emma's fiance had assumed she was deceased, but she did learn that for four days following the accident, he had been in a coma, reasons unknown. And the morning after he woke, he left the hospital against medical advice.
Probably pushing the privacy boundaries a little more than she should have, she contacted Doctor Hopper, Killian's neurologist, who, while he hadn't heard of Emma, certainly remembered the brother. Liam Jones had spent an extensive amount of time at his brother's bedside, telling him story after story in hope of bringing him out of his coma. But even he had been unsuccessful in getting his brother to stay in the hospital longer and, barely able to stand, Killian Jones had signed out and left. With the knowledge of Emma's fiancé's situation, Mary Margaret had to wonder how learning the person you love has no knowledge of you would affect him as in her experience there were often difficulties for the patient and the patient's family members.
Later the same day, Sister Blue had faxed legal paperwork and Mary Margaret had been able to discuss Emma's case with someone from her past. Upon learning of Emma's amnesia, Sister Blue had fallen apart and immediately volunteered to come out.
But after Emma's small breakthrough, Mary Margaret felt it was important for her to wait until the end of the month to see if the memories would return on their own. While it had been hard getting Sister Blue to stay home and keep the secret, there were also Killian and Henry to consider and what Emma not remembering them would mean to them. Loving someone who didn't know who you were could be a very lonely place to be.
Armed with background information, she continued her treatment with Emma, and today for the first time she seemed to have remembered Henry. Wondering if Liam's introduction would trigger a memory was something weighing heavily on her mind as she watched him lift his head.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled through his hands as he wiped his face, "I've just made such a mess of things." He shook his head with regret. "I just thought..." That you were protecting your brother? Don't go there, Man! You're beyond that now. "I'm such an arsehole," he spit out.
Handing him a tissue, Mary Margaret watched the emotions cross his face and the frustration he had directed at himself. "You're the oldest, aren't you?"
Her question surprised him. "Aye. There are eight years between us."
"Then being an arsehole is normal." He raised his eyebrow at her response. "I've not met an oldest sibling who didn't have a bit of assholeness in them."
"Oh?" His grin was easy this time, assuring her they were on the same path.
"You've met my husband David, right?" she deadpanned.
He pushed up off the floor to sit on the edge of the sofa, wondering why she was being so nice to him. "Now what?" He desperately wanted to be able to make things right but with his brother barely speaking to him and Emma not remembering and Henry...Henry...close to the same age he had been when the train incident occurred.
Mary Margaret didn't say anything for a few minutes as she watched him study Emma's drawing of Henry. "It's quite good, isn't it?"
"It's bloody amazing," he murmured, unable to take his eyes off the drawing. "I met him, you know? Henry, that is." He looked her direction. "Does she know who he is?"
She shook her head. "No, but feels she should."
He winced as if she had just punched him in the stomach and pushed off the sofa to pace around the room. "She should!" he shouted. "She should know him and be with him and it's my fault she isn't." He balled up his fists, needing to hit something, kick something...anything to make what he was feeling inside go away.
Watching him pace, Mary Margaret was once again reminded of the caged animal. "Liam," she waited for him to make eye contact before continuing, "let me help." Her request was simple but when he relaxed his stance and moved next to her on the sofa, she knew he was ready.
Liam stared at the woman who, with her kind eyes and soothing voice, gave him hope that the mess he had made of everyone's lives could be fixed. That somehow she would help him fix it. But where did he begin? Did he start from when he got the phone call? Did he start with Lily? In the end, he decided he was done making excuses for the man he had become and would focus on how to be a better one.
Mary Margaret watched him as he told the story of arriving at the hospital and going to his brother's room. Of how banged up Killian was, but his brother's only thought had been of Emma and what she needed. The tale of his first meeting with Emma and how he had made plans with James to get her the very best care possible and then...the innocent words that had sent him on a dark path. Words spilling from his mouth that caused him such shame and disgust that he couldn't believe anyone would dare to be kind to him.
After the deal was made, he had felt remorse, yet it had been too late. Not only was Emma already gone, but Killian had slipped into a coma. And when the miracle happened and Killian had awakened, but instead of being able to talk like brothers, Killian had turned into him; into the man who bottled his feelings, not listening or sharing at all. In other words, they had switched places.
"When I arrived to see Killian after he had woken, Doctor Hopper pulled me aside to talk to me about him. After listening to the doctor and then to Killian, I truly believed that Emma was the reason my brother was in such a hurry to get to the airport, Doctor Blanchard."
The hesitancy in his voice made Mary Margaret think that he was replaying those conversations over again and was still interpreting the message the same way. "I'm assuming you tried several times to broach the subject."
"I did," he agreed, "but each time I tried to talk, he became more annoyed...agitated even." He frowned in confusion.
"You were worried he would lapse back into a coma, weren't you?" she asked pointedly.
Liam tilted his head, thinking about what to say. "Partly," he finally answered, "but there was more to it." He took a deep breath before continuing, "Mainly, I didn't want to push too hard." And because he felt he owed her more of a reason continued with his sad story. "My experience with a woman who was both similar, yet the antithesis to Emma, changed my outlook on life and love, and afterward every time Killian tried to talk to me, I just..."
"Pushed him away?" she guessed.
"Aye," he agreed. "I needed to figure out how I felt, and so for years I pushed him away. But now," he said softly, sitting back down on the sofa, "it's he who's doing the pushing. Except now there's Emma."
"And she needs you both," Mary Margaret whispered softly.
Liam shook his head, a sad look crossing his face. "I caused this. I sent her away. She doesn't need me, only Killian. And Henry, too."
"Liam," Mary Margaret responded firmly, "Emma's leaving wasn't all your fault." He gave her a sideways glance, telling her without words that he didn't quite believe her. "You gave Emma the means to leave, but you didn't escort her out of the hospital. Something inside Emma is what pushed her to leave and that is where the problem lies."
He was looking at her as if he didn't believe the words she had just uttered. "Not my fault?" But I..."
She held her hand up to stop him from continuing. "I'm not saying that what you did wasn't arsehole behavior and you shouldn't apologize, but Emma leaving...that is on Emma." And, she thought silently, it seemed like a good possibility that the Killian had run in his own way too. "But I'll say it again, Emma needs both of you to help her heal, and you all need to work together to be a family."
That he wasn't the only one responsible for the mess was a nice thought, but Liam didn't think he could forgive himself so easily. "I wish I could believe that, Doctor Blanchard." He looked down at the drawing of Henry. "Right now, though, I want to help that little boy and my brother get back their happy ending. What can I do?"
Mary Margaret thought about the visits from Emma's dream lover, and while she wanted to give the words to Liam that she thought he wanted to hear, she also wanted Emma to face her fears on her own. While it might be the more difficult thing to do, it would ultimately make her stronger. "I am not going to tell you to keep Emma's whereabouts from Killian, because there's already been too much hurt between you. I will say that a part of Emma remembers him and is working her way back to him." She pushed aside a few drawings until she found the one of Emma in the arms of the man who had come to her on the beach. "This was a memory...as was this..." She picked up her phone, locating the song she wanted and hit play.
When Liam heard the opening notes, he was immediately pulled back to a time when life was easier. A time when all he had to worry about whether he could convince his mum into letting him stay up later or if he could have an extra bowl of pudding for dessert. He remembered he had been watching his new baby brother sleep and how he was curious about his dreams because his mouth kept moving as he slept. Deciding to go ask his parents, he had rounded the corner into the kitchen to see them dancing in the middle of the day. The lyrics he heard were,
We're dancers on a crowded floor
While other dancers live from song to song
Our music goes on,
On and on
And if I never leave your arms
I really will have traveled everywhere
For my world is there
Liam cut his eyes to the doctor. "It was my parents' song." He looked back at the drawing of Emma and Killian on the beach. "They loved to dance to it. Killian must have played it for Emma."
"Emma heard it in a dream a few days ago," Mary Margaret told him quietly.
"That's good, right?"
"That's really good," she agreed.
Knowing the next step for him would be trying to explain everything to Killian, Liam stood up. "I think I know what I need to do."
Mary Margaret followed him to the door. "If you need anything, I'm here."
Liam shook her hand. "Doctor Blanchard, I'm really glad that Emma had you to help her through this."
Mary Margaret couldn't help the lump that appeared in her throat as Emma had become a special patient to her. When Liam let go of her hand, she surprised him with a quick hug. "I'm really glad I was there for her too."
As she opened the door, she smiled up at him. "Remember, Liam, love can save even the darkest souls. You just have to believe in it."
Liam left her office, not with Emma as he had so much wanted, but with a new understanding of not only himself, but also of why the Doctor Nolan in New Jersey had recommended this place. While he had no idea Emma would lose her memory, he did know that Mary Margaret Blanchard was the person she would need to help her work her way through her darkest hours.
His job now, while flying back to New York, was to figure out the best way to break the news to Killian.
Anita's Place
Seattle, WA
Thursday Late Afternoon
Emma tossed aside her pencil and looked down at what she had drawn. Four pictures. All of the man with the eyes, Liam Jones. The man whose eyes spoke to her, but until she opened herself up to Emma Swan's abilities, she couldn't read them.
Now four pictures.
Four emotions.
Messages for her.
Picking up the first picture, she looked only at his eyes, not ready to deal with the questions the rest of the picture raised. The eyes seemed to be showing concern. But for what?
The second picture, though, those eyes were a little scary, and that they came from the same man was surprising. Anger...or...rage were the only two words she could use to describe them.
And then...the picture that showed his eyes the moment he saw her in Doctor Blanchard's office. Shock...surprise.
The last picture showed the moment just after Doctor Nolan had introduced them. And those eyes struck a chord deep inside, pulling up feelings that she understood. Those eyes conveyed pain...sorrow...and remorse. Those eyes brought tears to hers.
With the makings of a headache knocking, Emma set the drawings aside and turned up the music that had been playing on a loop since she had returned.
Say goodbye,
Why I can barely say goodnight
If I can hardly take my eyes from yours
How far can I go?
Curling up on her side, she tucked her hands under her cheek and felt the music wash over her, creating a lethargy she hadn't realized she felt until just now. Closing her eyes, she anticipated the return of her dream lover. She to be wrapped in his arms and swept away to that place where everything was perfect, and their happy beginning was waiting for her to grab and hold onto with both hands.
Walk away
The thought would never cross my mind
I couldn't turn my back on spring or fall,
Your smile, least of all...
Seattle Grace Grounds
Early Thursday Evening
Mary Margaret tucked her arm through David's as they strolled across the grounds toward Anita's Place. A little farther than they usually walked, but she needed to clear her head after a day full of patients, and one non-patient, but he had needed her just the same.
"Why is it we're walking to Anita's Place again?" David moaned as they rounded a corner and the lights were still far in the distance. "I'm hungry."
Mary Margaret rolled her eyes up at him. "We won't be long," she placated him. "I just want to check on Emma."
He patted her hand lovingly. "I know. Was your talk with Liam Jones beneficial?"
As they continued along the path, she told him a little about what she had learned from Liam. Before she could finish her story, they were walking up the steps to the transitional residence and being greeted by the owner herself.
"Doctor Blanchard, I didn't know you had a group session tonight." Mrs. Lucas came out of the kitchen drying her hands on a towel. "I was just finishing baking cookies but if you need the room..."
"Cookies?" David looked over her shoulder. "You wouldn't have a few to spare for a starving doctor, would you?"
"Oh you," Mrs. Lucas popped him with her dishtowel, "help yourself."
As soon as David wandered into the kitchen, Mary Margaret shook her head at her friend. "You might wish you hadn't offered."
"He'll be fine. Now what brings you by?" she asked quietly.
"I want to check on Emma. Did you see her when she got back from therapy?"
"No," Mrs. Lucas frowned, "in fact, she never came down for dinner. Let's go check on her."
Mary Margaret followed Mrs. Lucas up the stairs to Emma's room where, when they knocked softly, the door swung open. Raising her brows at that, they peered around the door and could see Emma sleeping peacefully on the bed. Surrounding her were remnants of what must have been a marathon drawing session.
Glancing over the drawings, Liam Jones was featured prominently in them all. Two of the pictures appeared to have taken place just outside her office earlier that day and the others... "Will you look at that?"
"What," she heard over her shoulder.
"Emma remembered a pivotal time in her journey, she just doesn't realize it's her."
She had drawn a picture of Liam Jones standing next to a hospital bed, but the face of the person on the bed couldn't be seen. Each picture conveyed emotions that Emma had read in her subject's eyes; concern...anger...shock...then sorrow. She's forgiven him, she thought as she gathered the artwork and set it on the dresser. "It won't be long now, before the swan flies back home," she murmured as they made their way back downstairs.
NID Offices
New York, NY
Thursday Early Evening
Elsa hadn't been able to get Killian's look of both surprise and disappointment when he heard that Liam wasn't in his office out of her head. He had wanted to speak with his brother, which made her wonder if it were Liam who hadn't wanted to speak to Killian. But that made no sense, either. Based on everything she had heard about Liam from Emma, he had gone out of his way to control Killian. Would he just walk away without a word unless there was a good reason? She didn't think so, but then again the dynamic between the brothers wasn't something she could say she had a lot of knowledge of currently, and it wasn't like she could just ask.
Yes, she wanted to know more about Killian and Liam's relationship, as did Regina and Robin. But even though they had worked closely together for almost a month, Killian's name hadn't been brought up. It was almost as if there was an unwritten rule about it, because he had asked her about Anna. He knew she was friends with Emma and Killian, at least she thought he did. After all, he had seen her having lunch with Regina and he had to know about them, didn't he? Too many questions about a relationship that, while it wasn't as if Liam were unaffected by her, he wasn't affected enough for it to go anywhere.
And that sucked, she thought, as he was the first man, in...oh, forever, to capture her attention. His blue-grey eyes, sexy chin dent, and to-die-for accent all combined to make her heart go pitter-pat whenever he was near. And his lips, she moaned, the sound loud in the quiet of her office, she could still taste him, even now days later. And if that weren't enough, there was his musky scent that nearly caused her to swoon when he was close, and always a look in his eyes that seemingly spoke to her in a language she was yet to completely understand, but somehow told her everything she needed to know. Question was...what was next? And was he even interested?
The look in his eyes said yes, but when he had her in his arms while they had been in Key West, he had pushed her away. And since they had returned, it was almost as if he had been avoiding her. "Men!" she mumbled, laying her head down and gently bumping the desk with it several times. "Why must they be so infuriating?"
Her phone buzzed just as she had decided to dive back into a contract and when she glanced at it and saw Regina was trying to facetime her, the frustration dissipated. "Regina, are you home?"
Regina shook her head. "No and by the looks of things, neither are you."
"Guilty," Elsa gave her a sheepish grin. "I'm only going to finish one more contract then I'll leave."
"All work and no play makes Elsa a dull girl, "Regina intoned, giving her friend a tiny smile. "But no lecture tonight. I'm too happy."
"How was Florida? And how is Boston?"
"Florida was wonderful and beautiful but we'll talk more about that later. I'm calling to invite you to a dinner at our place tomorrow. A little celebration. Can you come?"
"It's not like my social calendar is so full I can't come support my friend. Will it be just us?"
Regina made a face. "No, my mother and Nemo will be there, and I think Robin is going to see if Killian and Henry will come."
"Sounds good. Almost like old times. I miss those days," she sighed. This would be the first time they had all been together since May and she had a feeling it was going to be tough.
Regina looked over her shoulder and Elsa could see Robin and Roland strolling into the room. "I have to go. We're moving out of my apartment. I'll send you the details later. Bye."
"Okay, that was odd," Elsa murmured, wondering if she had said anything to trigger that response.
Feeling rather unsettled by the call, she decided she'd had enough for the day and packed to leave. And if on her way out she just happened to go by a certain office, well...
~~~CS~~~
After the plane landed in White Plains and he drove out of the airport, Liam had every intention of going straight to Killian's apartment and telling him everything, until he realized he didn't know where his brother lived. Not ready to get into whys of that with Nemo, Liam opted to go by the office and look in the HR files. However, once he was at the office, he hadn't considered that the passwords had been changed, and since he didn't know where Colleen hid them, he was out of luck anyway. Unless...he asked for help. But whom did he ask?
Elsa.
"And why should she help me?"
Surely you're not that daft, his subconscious answered.
Pushing away from his desk, his foot caught the edge of his briefcase toppling it over, the bag holding Emma's things spilling out. "Bloody hell," he muttered, picking up the bag and remembering the piece of paper in the wallet with the address on it, but this time he couldn't make himself look at it. "What now?" he sighed as the melody of the song Doctor Blanchard mentioned once again flitted through his mind.
As a lad he had caught his parents dancing to that song many times. A song for lovers, he thought as he started the song and moved to stare out the window at the lights of the city far below. Lost in the haunting melody of the music, he allowed the memories to wash over him.
~~~CS~~~
Approaching the hallway that housed Liam's office, Elsa expected all to be dark, and when she saw the soft glow of light, her curiosity was piqued. Stopping at the doorway, just outside of Colleen's inner sanctum, she could hear music, playing softly, barely loud enough to make out the words. A song she had never heard before, but one that crawled along her skin leaving goosebumps in its wake.
Hesitant to take another step, she stood still and let them mesmerize her,
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I'm not afraid to say, I love you,
And I promise you, I'll never say goodbye
A side of Liam one wouldn't expect, but one she was interested to know more about, unless he wasn't alone. But no, quickly dismissing that notion, Elsa took a step...crossing the threshold. Setting her bag on Colleen's desk, she took measured step after measured step toward the door to Liam's office. The closer she got, the more she felt something invisible pulling her along. It took from her any decision to back away. It took any decision to not stay.
The room was lit by a small lamp on his desk that cast a circle of light around it, leaving rest of the room in shadows. Leaning against the doorframe, she watched the man who captivated her with his existence. He was standing in front of the large window, hands in his pockets staring out into the dark New York night. Lonely, she thought. He looks lonely, almost as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Will he let me help? Should I even ask?
Lost in thoughts that kept him from noticing her presence, she opted not to move closer and instead angled toward his desk. There was an old speaker sitting on the corner with lights flashing as it kept time with the music. As the song came to an end, she looked down, but it wasn't the screen of Liam's phone that caught her attention. That was caught by something gold glittering in the soft light. Unable to help herself, she picked up the bag and looked inside. She gasped, the bag falling from her hand to land on the desk with a thud.
"Now you know the secret," she heard Liam say softly from the shadows.
"Secret?" She frowned slightly. "What secret, Liam?"
"That Emma's alive," he said cautiously.
Elsa felt her mouth drop open at the same time her knees gave out and she fell into Liam's desk chair. "Wha...what did you say?" She could feel Liam's eyes cataloging every expression that crossed her face.
"Yes, sweet Elsa," he said softly, "your friend is alive."
"But..." she was afraid to believe what he was saying, but wanted it to be true for not only herself, but for Killian and Henry. She could sense that there was a lot Liam wasn't saying, but something in his demeanor told her that he wanted to tell her, but was worried for some reason.
His eyes bore into hers, sending her messages so quickly she was having trouble interpreting them before they changed. Messages she thought she understood, but the reason behind them she didn't know yet. Slowly, she started toward him, her eyes never leaving his, until she was close enough to touch. Taking his hand, she led him to the sofa tucked and pulled him down next to her. "Talk to me."
He broke eye contact and mumbled, "Are you sure you want to hear the story?" so softly she almost didn't hear him.
"Try me...trust me."
She didn't have to wait long before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and began, "When I walked in her room, I had no intention of liking her. In fact, in my head the person in the bed was going to look like a monster. But then...I saw her and she was nothing like a monster. With her head and hands encased in gauze, she was anything but..."
As soon as he started talking, Elsa could hear the pain in his voice and wasn't sure she had made the right decision in asking to hear the story. Especially when he mentioned Emma's head and face being wrapped, seemingly like a mummy, as the thought of her friend being in so much pain hurt her, as if she were feeling the pain vicariously.
He continued, "I was pleasantly surprised when instead of the self-centered, weak person I expected to find lying on the bed, Emma's first thought had been of Killian and she showed me strength and courage. I was ready to take the step and meet her half-way, and then I spoke with the doctor about her and planned to help her all I could, but then..."
Without him even saying it, Elsa somehow knew that he had been hurt terribly by a woman at one time and had somehow associated Emma with that woman. What had the woman done to him? she wondered, as Liam went on with his story.
"...and things were going well until she uttered the phrase 'our happy beginning' and bloody hell, Elsa...it was as if my brain split in two and someone else was spouting all these horrible words." He pushed up and paced in front of her. "I made a bloody deal with her," he cried brokenly, "she could get fixed but she couldn't contact anyone. What was I thinking?"
"What?!" she exclaimed, pushing up to face him. "What did you say?" On one hand Elsa couldn't quite believe what she was hearing but then again...on the other hand, she could appreciate an older sibling who only wanted to protect their younger one. After all, she would do whatever she needed to do to protect Anna, but...
Her outburst seemed to be exactly what he expected because as soon as the last word was out of her mouth, his body crumpled into itself and he fell back onto the sofa. "Don't you think I've asked myself that thousands of times?" He looked up at her, his eyes pleading with her to understand, "but then I thought it didn't matter and Killian was leaving to be with her, until..."
The despair on his face gave proof to his words and to keep from going to him, she physically held on to a nearby chair. "Until...?"
"Until I met Henry," he told her softly.
"Henry?" She frowned. "What does Henry have to do with this?"
~~~C~~~
He had watched her eyes go from solemn to shooting sparks at him, and then back to solemn when Henry was mentioned. How was he going to make her understand something in just a few minutes that he still struggled with? "He told me Emma had died." The feeling of being punched in the stomach still lingered even thirty hours later.
"But how could that even happen?" She frowned at him making him wonder if she thought he was the one who told Killian Emma was gone.
He shook his head. "I don't know. When I took Killian to the airport, I thought he was on his way to Emma and then...Henry… And once I heard, I left for Seattle to make it right but..." He let out his breath with a sigh.
"But?" She lifted her brows waiting for him to explain.
He winced, "Emma has amnesia."
"Amnesia?!" Elsa cried dropping down next to him on the sofa. "Is Killian on his way her?"
"Not yet-"
"Not yet? Liam," she exclaimed exasperatedly, "first you make a 'deal' with Emma, then Killian thinks she's dead and now..." she gestured around the room, "I get wanting to protect him, but when Killian wouldn't talk to you about Emma, why didn't you try harder?"
Liam pushed off the sofa "Communication had been tough between us for almost ten years, first with the death of our parents and then...I behaved like an arsehole for years after Lily crushed my heart. And then Killian trusted me to take care of the woman he loved and he ended up in a coma." Unable to stand still, he paced. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts," he cried, "to walk into a room and see your brother, whom you have protected your entire life lying there...still and quiet? And no matter how much you talk to him, he doesn't open his eyes." He wiped his face and continued, "When he woke up, I couldn't push him, because what if-"
"-what if it happened again?" she finished.
"Aye," he agreed, "I couldn't risk that, plus..."
"You thought Killian was going to her?" He nodded his head. "But why didn't you tell him when you returned from your trip?"
Liam gave her a sheepish smile. "I planned on it but realized I didn't have his new address. And I got here and didn't have the new passwords to get into the HR files."
"I can help you, Liam."
He gave her a hopeful smile. "You know the password?"
Elsa rolled her eyes and pulled him off the sofa, expecting him to follow "No, I know Killian's address. Come on, let's go."
He held his ground, watching as she continued moving toward the door. "You're going to help me?" he asked her, in awe of her forgiving spirit.
Elsa turned around, and seeing that he was still next to the sofa, walked back his way. "Liam, I don't know exactly what you were feeling then and I don't know exactly what happened to create the communication mix-up but," she took his hands, stepping even closer, "I know Emma, and if she hadn't believed she was going somewhere better, she wouldn't have gone." He smiled thinking that was similar to what Doctor Blanchard had said. She continued, "And I like to think that I know you pretty well, and that man wants to see his brother happy. Shall we go?"
Liam had to swallow before he could be sure his voice would work, and very slowly cupped her face. "Thank you, so much. I'm not sure I deserve...umf."
~~~CS~~~
Elsa still wanted to knock a few heads together and try to figure out where the communication breakdown had occurred, but she truly believed Liam when he said that he regretted his actions. She had been fighting the need to touch him all evening, to give him comfort...one friend to another, but then...he cupped her face...
His lips were soft and he tasted just as good as he had in Key West. She felt him relax, yet never attempt to take the kiss any deeper, just his hands on her face and their lips melding together as if they had done so hundreds of times. When he lifted his head, she slowly opened her eyes and the look on his face said he was just as wrecked as she felt. "Ready?"
"Aye, Sweet Elsa. We've much to talk about, I think."
"I'd like that," she whispered as she waited for him to turn off the music and gather his briefcase, including the bag with Emma's belongings. "On the way, why don't you tell me about that song?"
Killian's Place
New York, NY
Late Thursday Evening
Killian watched Henry crawl into the new bed that had just been delivered that day, and couldn't help the feelings of sadness that washed over him every time he thought about what might have been. But when Henry snuggled down under the brand-new comforter and gave him a hopeful smile, he shoved those thoughts aside, pulling out instead what would be. Sitting on the side of the bed, he tucked the blanket tightly around the little body. "What did you think of Uncle Liam?
Henry bit his lip as if he wasn't sure of exactly what he wanted to say. "His eyes are sad."
Killian's brows shot up. "Sad? Are you sure that's the right word, Henry?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah, Killian...sad. Just like us."
Killian wasn't sure what to make of that because the last time he had seen Liam, he hadn't been sad, he'd been...confused was the emotion that came to mind but that didn't make any sense either.
"Did he say anything else?"
Henry nodded his head. "Uh huh. He asked if I missed my mum."
His innocent comment opened a door in Killian's brain that had been slammed tightly shut since May, and having no desire to revisit those feelings in front of Henry, he quickly turned off the lights and made his way out onto the balcony. Leaning on the railing, looking out at the city below him, he relived opening the folder in Liam's apartment and seeing that his brother had taken a step in a direction unexpected. There were so many questions he had wanted to get answers for, yet here he was...still waiting. More questions...no answers.
It was always like this after Henry went to bed. Too quiet. Too much time to live with his regrets. With his anger. His sorrow. His eyes were drawn to the brightest star in the sky as it winked off and on, almost as if it were trying to tell him something. "Will you come to me tonight, Swan?"
he whispered to the star. "I'll be waiting."
Making his way back inside, he closed the door to Henry's bedroom before reaching the kitchen. In one cabinet he found a glass. In another his bottle of rum. And then before giving it too much thought he had poured a generous dollop into the glass.
Taking the glass and bringing the bottle along for good measure, he dropped down onto the chair that gave him the best view of the painting of their cliff. With each drink a memory of his time with Emma floated through his mind until after a while all that remained were the words spoken beside the cliff, intermingling with those from his mother's song.
"I believe when two souls are destined to meet, when they become one, nothing can pull them apart. Today, with these beads, I thee wed for as long as this rock, this earth, this sea and the sky shall live. And I promise you that I will never forget these beads and our promise to each other and what they stand for. I love you Killian."
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I'm not afraid to say, I love you,
And I promise you, I'll never say goodbye
And I promise to always be there when you need me and to never, ever say goodbye to you. I love you Emma.
When I say always
I mean forever
I trust tomorrow as much as today
I am not afraid to say I love you
And I promise you, I'll never say goodbye
How could I ever say goodbye?
"How could I ever say goodbye?" he repeated the last line of the song, knowing there was no answer and would never be an answer. Just as he lifted the glass, draining the last few drops, there was a knock at the door.
When he opened the door, he didn't expect to see his brother standing there and without thinking, Killian reared back and, with a strong right cross to the chin, knocked Liam to the floor.
"Killian," Elsa grabbed his arm, giving him his first realization she was there. "Stop that!"
"Give me one good reason why I should," he growled at his brother, who had picked himself up off the floor.
Liam stated simply, "Emma's alive."
I hope you enjoyed the chaper, it was long. And next week's is even longer. Let me know what you think.