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Chapter 2
We made a quick escape, but now that we were traveling with OJ, we had to lay low. Also, for some reason, now the police were on the lookout for us too. But still, we had to get to the bank to access Colorado's safety deposit box. While OJ's Bronco was destroyed in our fight with Madagascar Ferrari, thankfully Colorado and I's Pontiac Aztek were still intact.
Ah … they truly don't make them like that anymore.
Once again, Colorado drove. OJ and I needed to recover after having used our poses. However, this did give me a chance to learn more about OJ and how he got his pose. This information would prove crucial to my journey to find the path.
"So, your pose, what's the story behind it," I asked.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm curious. Why would a running back have a pose that lets him move backward."
OJ chuckled, "it seems you're still a young poser. You don't understand that you have to be able to move backwards before you can move forward."
Colorado then quickly interjected, "Hold up, what does that even mean -
QUIET PEASANT!!! THIS DOES NOT CONCERN ONE WHO CANNOT BEND!!!
Colorado then proceeded to keep quiet for the rest of the ride. It seemed as if he didn't want to get on OJ's bad side. I couldn't imagine why.
I wasn't until we were getting closer to the bank that Colorado spoke again.
"We're here. So how we doing this."
Before we could come up with a plan, suddenly the Mist from Stephen King's The Mist rolled by. I realized that this was the perfect cover for us to sneak into the bank and get its money.
"It seems that nature is on our side with this unexpected occurrence. Ah good ol' climate change," I said.
We soon entered the bank with OJ waiting outside in the Mist. I knew that with his pose skills any eldritch being he'd encounter would be doomed. However, once we reached the teller I knew that we could get more money than what was in Colorado's deposit box. So, I decided we should rob the bank and hold the customers hostages for ransom. To succeed I called OJ to come in for backup. Right before I called him OJ came rushing in and screamed.
"Guys, this isn't just any old mist. It's the mist of an enemy poser!"
"Another poser already!" I responded.
We had no idea who could be behind this attack, so we couldn't do anything but wait.
First, we had to explain the situation to the others in the bank. A second ago they were our hostages, but now we had to work together to survive this pose attack. This truly showed how fate was always out of our hands. I used my pose Under Pressure to gather their attention and explained what was going on and OJ's presence helped to prove our story. The Mist outside now covered the bank. While not everybody believed my explanation about poses, they could not deny the fact that something strange was going on. One man decided to speak up and propose a solution to our dilemma. His name was Father Boatmody, a worldwide famous priest that taught comparative religious studies at UCLA and was considered an expert in supernatural affairs.
"I recognize this phenomenon. It's the same thing that occured Bridgton, Maine. It's a mist that houses eldritch abominations from another dimension. I was actually on the team that developed the weapon to fight this disaster. The weapon is derived from the same technology as vacuum cleaners."
The bank manager spoke up, "The maintenance staff keeps their equipment in the back."
Boatmody responded, "Excellent! Quick bring it to me."
As Boatmody explained his plan OJ, Colorado and I talked amongst ourselves about our doubts.
"You realize what he's proposing right guys," OJ said.
"Yeah, of course."
"Wait. What exactly is the problem here?" Colorado asked.
"The vacuum cleaner to suck up all the ghouls and goblins out there. It's the proton pack from Ghostbusters," I explained.
From Colorado's reaction, I could tell he understood now what the danger was.
"Damn it! Why didn't I realize this earlier!" Colorado said.
Colorado's realization was that legal dangers of using a device so similar to the proton pack in public. I was familiar with the incident Boatmody was talking about. Enterprise rent-a-car worked with the US government to develop a weapon in Hartford, Connecticut to defeat the original mist. It was a one time use in secret for them, but for us it would be in public in a crowded bank. The potential copyright lawsuit that we could face from Columbia Pictures over the use of a device that is essentially the proton pack was a danger we weren't willing to risk. We would have to turn over all the money we earned from robbing the bank. We needed a different way to defeat Stephen King's the Mist.
The first step in our new plan was to discredit Father Boatmody. The crowd was quickly swayed by Boatmody's words. And they looked upon us and OJ with disdain. I had no idea why. It would be easy to foil Boatmody's plan however. Only posers can see poses. So, the plan was for Boatmody to build his device but have Under Pressure sabotage it before it could do its work.
An hour passed as Boatmody worked meticulously. The fact that someone with as much expertise as him was here was able to stop panic from taking hold of the crowd. As he neared completion of the makeshift proton pack I tried to get close to him to activate Under Pressure. Unfortunately he refused to let me or OJ near him. He didn't trust us so we had to create a diversion to distract him. OJ, Colorado and I pestered him with inane questions. Boatmody wouldn't budge he was a stubborn man. Eventually though he reached a breaking point. Boatmody screamed at us after I accused him of being sexually attracted to shitting children.
Boatmody screamed, "Would you people just shut up!"
And after that outburst he went back to work. Nothing we said could separate him from his invention. OJ's quick thinking, however, saved us.
"Woah, woah, woah … woah. What do you mean YOU PEOPLE?!"
OJs' word's caught Boatmody and the crowd off guard. Suddenly, the atmosphere was on our side. Lead by Colorado, the crowd, with OJ and I interspersed among them, swarmed Boatmody. OJ activated Smooth Criminal to make Boatmody back away from the proton pack. And with the crowd following them I activated Under Pressure to destroy Boatmody's creation. We had the potential legal troubles out of the way now, but we still had to find a way to deal with Stephen King's the Mist.
Our plan after this was to throw out ideas that could potentially defeat the poser summoning this mist. Boatmody continued to be a problem though. Slowly, he won over his lost following. However, Colorado came up with a solution to our Mist problem as well as our Boatmody problem: human sacrifice. When the crowd heard of our plan they were skeptical of course. Boatmody especially. But we convinced the crowd. We had been stuck in that bank for hours and the crowd was getting desperate. And even if we killed Boatmody we would also be killing a racist. So, with the crowd on our side we broke two boards to create a cross to crucify Boatmody. We threw the crucifix out into the Mist to see where the poser would attack Boatmody from. Unfortunately, the poser attacked Boatmody from different sides, ripping him apart at the limbs. Our plan to smoke out the poser with Boatmody didn't work but the underlying principle did. So, the draw out the poser I used Under Pressure to round up the crowd and OJ used Smooth Criminal to send them all walking backwards out into the Mist. After the brave sacrifice of our fellow bank visitors, we deduced the poser's location in the Mist to two locations within. However, we couldn't be sure which one it was. The Mist was too dangerous for us to split up to fight we had to stick together. And even still we couldn't risk being wrong as it was dangerous enough that we didn't have the skills to survive being in the Mist for too long.
That's when we came up with the idea of using the vacuum to suck up the mist with. Without Boatmody's fancy gadgetry this was just a regular vacuum. And with the sacrifice of the crowd, there would be no one to accuse us of stealing from Ghostbusters. So, we activated the vacuum and soon after the Mist was gone. We discovered the poser hiding behind a car. When we found him I used Under Pressure to dismember his limbs as a way to avenge the brave Father Boatmody who gave his life to defeat this poser. And now with enough money, OJ, Colorado and I went back to our Aztek and drove to LAX to continue our journey to North Korea.