Hi guys. I want to thank you so much for all the reviews. They really warm my heart and my co authors as well. But I had to admit I feel a bit bad that I can't update quicker, even with your lovely comments its just impossible to get me to a computer very often to give you updates and I don't have a lot of time to write right now. So I have to admit that this chapter is mostly all Leanne's work, I was meant to add to it but I wanted to give you an update. I am so greatful for my co author as otherwise I fear I might have to leave this story for a while, but she is helping out and I hope that is okay. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous and please be kind in reviews. Thank you, Lily x

Olivia was woken from a deep, dreamless sleep by the sound of something crashing to the floor. She sat up quickly, scrabbling for the switch on the bedside lamp and as the light flooded the room she could see that the lamp on Amanda's side of the bed had been knocked off the cabinet. Amanda was tossing and turning in the bed, whimpering as she was caught in another nightmare. It was so unfair, Olivia thought, as she quickly jumped out of bed and made her way to Amanda's side. She had always been able to wake herself up from her nightmares but Amanda seemed trapped in hers, unable to escape unless someone helped her to wake up.

Resuming her position from the other night, Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and shook the blonde gently, hoping that it would rouse her from her fitful sleep.

"Amanda, wake up, it's okay, you're dreaming," Olivia said, but it was no use. Amanda was still fighting her in her sleep, pushing away Olivia's hands as the brunette tried to shake her awake.

Olivia was at a loss of what to do. She didn't want to do anything that would further distress Amanda or cause her any pain but she knew she needed to wake her up, there was no way Olivia could just sit there and watch while the nightmare played out.

"Come on Amanda, wake up," Olivia pleaded as she dodged Amanda's flailing arms to smooth her hair in a motherly fashion. She hoped that the simple action was calming because she had run out of other options. "It's okay, it's okay," Olivia kept talking to the blonde in a low, soothing tone, hoping that eventually it would wake her up.

Suddenly, Amanda grabbed on to Olivia's hand and pushed it away from her head. She bolted upright in the bed, moving away from the figure she hadn't yet recognised as Olivia.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, don't, please," Amanda begged as she pressed herself back against the headboard.

Seeing the terror on Amanda's face, Olivia deliberately didn't make any physical contact with her for fear of frightening her even more. She put her hands up in front of her, making sure Amanda could see them and spoke softly and slowly as she tried to reassure Amanda that she was safe.

"Amanda can you hear me? It's Olivia, we're in your apartment,and you're safe okay? You're safe Amanda."

It took a few seconds for the blonde to register Olivia's presence but as she focused on the voice and the person in front of her, the panic she was feeling abated slightly. Olivia, though she realised that the blonde now recognised her, kept her distance, aware of what they had spoken about earlier that evening. To Olivia's surprise, Amanda shifted down the bed and pressed herself into her side. Olivia looped her arm around Amanda's shoulders as Amanda leaned against her and waited for the blonde to talk. She didn't want to push, not when Amanda had been in such a panic when she'd woken.

Concerned about the amount the blonde was shaking, Olivia pulled the blanket up and around Amanda, wrapping her in the soft material before she put her arm back around her. "It's okay, just breathe, you're okay," Olivia did her best to comfort the trembling woman.

"He made bail and he was mad at me. He found out where I lived," Amanda whispered, her voice shaking, "I came home and he was here, I couldn't get away Liv, I couldn't fight him."

"Amanda, that wasn't real, it was a dream," Olivia said softly, tightening her hold on Amanda just slightly hoping to convince her that she was safe. This nightmare had really put Amanda through the wringer

"He wouldn't stop, I was begging him to stop," Amanda whimpered, "he's gonna find me."

"No, no. Honey he's not gonna find you," Olivia assured her. She couldn't promise the blonde that he wouldn't make bail, because there was a very high possibility that he would. Olivia made a mental note to talk to Alex in the morning and see where they were at regarding bail, "we won't let that happen okay, he's not gonna come anywhere near you."

Amanda didn't reply but she nodded and that response was enough for Olivia. She continued to hold Amanda until she finally stopped shaking and she could tell when the blonde had composed herself because she went rigid in Olivia's arms.

"Don't," Olivia said as gently as she could, pre-empting the apology that was about to roll off Amanda's lips, "it's okay." She let her arm drop from around Amanda's shoulders and the blonde pulled the blanket tighter around her.

Amanda sighed and shook her head sadly as Olivia busied herself with righting the upturned lamp and putting the cushions back on the bed.

"Can I get you anything? Water?" Olivia asked, and Amanda just shook her head again, "are you in pain?"

Amanda began to shake her head before she changed her mind, "a little," she admitted. All of the tossing and turning had taken a toll on her bruised body.

"I'll be right back," Olivia said.

She returned less than a minute later with some painkillers and a small glass of water. Amanda took the tablets with a sip of water that was smaller than Olivia would have liked but she didn't say anything.

"You slept for a pretty long time," Olivia observed as she glanced at the clock, "you wanna try and sleep a little more?" she asked. Olivia was half expecting Amanda to refuse, considering the nightmare she'd just had but Amanda nodded tiredly, and the brunette saw just how exhausted Amanda truly was.

"Okay," Olivia smiled. She walked back to her side of the bed, allowing Amanda to get back into bed at her own pace.

"Can you turn the light off please?" Amanda asked quietly. She still hadn't moved from where she was sitting. Initially to Olivia the request seemed counterproductive, she herself had only been able to sleep with a light on for months after her abduction by William Lewis. But then she realised that this was Amanda Rollins, and the blonde had failed to make eye contact or even look at Olivia since she'd first woken up. She remembered what Amanda had told her about finding it hard to ask for and accept help, and then she understood. Flicking the light off, Olivia settled under the covers and waited for Amanda to do the same.

After a few minutes Amanda finally settled herself under the covers and was relieved that Olivia had already outstretched her hand for her to hold. The blonde was so tired and so on edge that she didn't even have the energy to feel embarrassed as she clutched on to Olivia's offered hand. She could also do nothing to stop the tears that came falling a second later. Olivia noticed straight away but she knew better than to say anything, so she squeezed Amanda's hand in silent support, and stayed awake until the blonde finally fell back asleep.

When Amanda woke up later that morning the sun was streaking through a gap in the curtains and she was both surprised and grateful that she had managed to sleep for so long after that awful nightmare. Once again she found herself torn between embarrassment that she had so desperately needed Olivia's comfort to get back to sleep and grateful that the older woman had been there to wake her up and tell her that it was okay. She glanced over at Olivia who was still sleeping soundly and decided to let her sleep as long as she needed. After all she had woken every time Amanda had these past few days and if there was nothing else Amanda could do to repay her she could let her catch up on her rest.

Amanda got up as quietly as she could, biting her lip against the pain in her ribs as she moved. The pills she had taken at Olivia's insistence last night had made a difference. She had had one nightmare but had also managed to get more sleep than she had the previous nights put together. Only now the effects of the tablets had worn off, the pain had come back with a vengeance, as well as a dull ache deep in her belly that she was sure wasn't there before. Her head was also bothering her, her nose was stuffy from crying herself to sleep and the familiar tightening across her forehead warned her that a headache was imminent unless she did something about it.

After her talk with Olivia last night Amanda felt different, a bit lighter, as if a tiny weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She wasn't magically cured of her guilt and her fear, those two things still bubbled under the surface but Amanda did feel a bit more able to push those emotions down, and she made a deal with herself to try and get through the day without breaking down or freaking out. She didn't want to keep living like a victim. If Amanda could do that then hopefully Olivia would stop worrying so much. Maybe she could start to move on. After all she had done it once before.

Luckily there was a pile of clean laundry that Amanda hadn't put away yet so she didn't have to go rooting through her drawers to find some clean clothes. She didn't want to dress in scruffy sweatpants and a hoody again so she picked through the pile until she picked out a pair of leggings and a long green shirt. They would still be comfortable to wear but more presentable. She smirked a little as she remembered something her grandmother used to say to her 'don't dress according to how you feel, dress according to how you want to feel'. It had been the elderly lady's excuse for putting on pearls and high heels even to just to do her shopping.

She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower and knowing that it would take a couple of minutes for the water to heat up, Amanda went back into the kitchen and picked up her phone. After making a couple of phone calls, Amanda reluctantly took her next dose of painkillers. She washed them down quickly with a glass of water before she had the chance to change her mind. She winced as the water reached her stomach, mindful that she hadn't eaten or drunk anything since she was sick yesterday. Amanda knew she should eat with the tablets but her stomach still felt unsettled and the fear of vomiting again prevented her from even considering making some toast.

After a long hot shower, Amanda got dressed and decided to attempt to eat some breakfast. Olivia would only push her to eat when she woke up anyway. She toasted a slice of bread and made a cup of peppermint tea, as the thought of coffee turned Amanda's stomach and as much as she knew she could do with the caffeine she couldn't bring herself to drink it. She was only a quarter of the way through the dry piece of toast when she heard a knock on her door.

A wave of fear rolled over her and Amanda cursed herself for being stupid. She knew exactly who was at the door, she was expecting them and still her first instinct was to be afraid. She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down and went over to open the door.

"Hello dear," said a friendly voice as Amanda opened the door.

The voice belonged to Geraldine Noaks, Amanda's 72 year old neighbour. She had been the only person in the building who had ever really spoken to Amanda when she first moved in, and since they both had dogs they had formed a strange little friendship. Geraldine's kind face and eccentric personality reminded Amanda of her grandmother, and Geraldine had basically taken Amanda on as her adopted granddaughter. Amanda had knocked on her door in a panic one day when she realised she was on a double shift and didn't have time to book Frannie in anywhere and Geraldine had gladly taken in Frannie and watched her for the night. Geraldine's poodle Ted and Frannie had become instant friends and on her rare days off, they both took their dogs to the park together. Geraldine didn't have any family, and Amanda didn't have many friends so it worked out perfectly for them.

"Hi Geri," Amanda smiled, "hi Frannie," she smiled wider at the dog she had so desperately missed. Frannie was sat obediently next to Geraldine's feet but Amanda could tell she was ready to come bursting in to the apartment as soon as she had permission to.

Amanda opened the door wider and Geraldine let Frannie off the lead and she came bounding in, only to stop short of jumping up at Amanda as she could sense her mom was in pain. Instead she nuzzled her head against Amanda's knees, whimpering to show how much she had missed her.

"Thank you so much for picking her up, I'm not really up to driving right now," Amanda said, "do you wanna come in for some tea?"

"Oh that's quite alright, Ted enjoyed the outing and I was up and about anyway. And I'd love to but I can't darling I have bingo today. It's my lucky day, I can feel it," Geri grinned, rubbing her hands together.

As Frannie continued to fuss around Amanda's legs she knocked the blonde off balance slightly. Amanda grabbed the doorframe and winced as the action jarred her ribs and Geri narrowed her eyes at the blonde.

"I'll bet the other guy came off worse right?" Geri asked, half joking to mask her concern. She knew that Amanda didn't like it when she worried about her, but it wasn't long ago that the blonde had been shot on the job and she was always walking around with some injury or another.

"Yeah...he, he got his comeuppance," Amanda replied, hoping that Geraldine wouldn't see through her lie. She hadn't told her the real reason for her injuries; as far as Geraldine was concerned she'd been beaten up while arresting a perp.

"You deserve a medal for the job you do, putting yourself on the line like that," the old lady said. It was something she had said to Amanda many times before, but now it just made the blonde feel guilty.

"Just doing my job," Amanda forced a smiled.

"Well, you should be proud... oh!" Geraldine said, opening her bag, "I almost forgot, mac and cheese," she said as she produced a foil wrapped dish from her bag.

Amanda couldn't help but smile, this time a genuine smile as she took the dish from Geraldine. Ever since Geri had once seen the barrenness of Amanda's refrigerator, she had taken to making casseroles, stews and other meals for Amanda at least once a week. And every dish was given to her with the same instruction, 'to put some meat on those bones'.

"Thank you," Amanda said, "you didn't have to go to any trouble."

"Nonsense, I know what you're like when you're laid up, you don't eat," Geri replied, wagging her finger at her comically, "now I have to go," she said, leaning in and kissing Amanda on the cheek, "you take care of yourself and call me if you need anything, or if you need me to take Miss Frannie for the evening,"

Amanda felt tears prick her eyes at Geri's kindness but she forced them back so she wouldn't worry the elderly woman.

"Go win big okay," Amanda smiled as she waved the other woman off.

Only when the door was shut behind her did Amanda let the tears slip from behind her closed eyelids. They slid hotly down her cheeks and she wiped them away quickly. Once she had deposited the food in the fridge and composed herself, Amanda turned her attention to Frannie, who had been waiting patiently for her mom.

"Hey lovely girl," Amanda greeted her, "I've missed you so much," she said as she gingerly sat down on the sofa. She patted the empty space next to her and Frannie jumped up. Instead of laying across Amanda as she would normally, Frannie just leaned over and nuzzled her head into Amanda's lap, quietly content to finally be reunited with her mom.

Olivia awoke to find Amanda's side of the bed empty and for a moment she panicked, worried that the blonde had had another nightmare and had locked herself in the bathroom like yesterday. It was only when she heard the sound of Amanda talking that she relaxed.

Initially Olivia thought she was on the phone but when she stepped in to the living room she could see that Amanda was talking to her dog. Olivia couldn't help but noticed how much more relaxed the blonde was with her dog sitting beside her, the animal obviously had a calming presence and she wished she' had persuaded Amanda to bring Frannie home sooner.

"Hey guys," Olivia said softly, not wanting to startle Amanda. Frannie jumped off the sofa at the noise and ran to Olivia, excited to go and greet the new person.

"Hey Frannie," Olivia greeted, as she scratched her between the ears. After a moment, Frannie went back and sat next to Amanda, the action almost protective in nature.

"You okay?" she asked Amanda.

"Yeah I'm alright, I woke up early and decided I was done missing Frannie," the blonde explained.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Olivia asked cautiously.

Amanda shook her head, "naw I just couldn't sleep anymore," she explained as she saw the worried look on Olivia's face, "look about last night, I'm so sorry..."

Olivia just smiled at her and shook her head, "you don't have to keep apologising to me, I'm here for you and I don't mind. You're not a bother, even if you think you are."

Amanda's cheeks flushed red at Olivia's insistence. The blonde had never been good at accepting help when she needed it, and it was especially hard when the help was coming from someone she admired so much. But she was also so grateful, she had no idea how she would have gotten through the past few days without Olivia's help.

"I just...I don't know what to do to thank you Olivia," Amanda admitted.

"You don't have to do anything to thank me Amanda I'm here as your friend," Olivia reassured the blonde, "have you eaten breakfast?" she asked, and Amanda was grateful for the change in conversation.

"I had some toast," Amanda called out as Olivia went into the kitchen. She had forgotten about the barely eaten slice of toast she'd left on the counter and she cringed as she realised that Olivia would see it.

"Three bites is not 'some toast', you need to eat to keep your strength up," Olivia said as she emerged from the kitchen. She wasn't trying to patronise Amanda but she knew the blonde had not eaten well for a few days.

"I'm still feeling a little nauseous," Amanda admitted. It was the truth, the sick feeling she'd had yesterday had come creeping back and Amanda didn't want to chance actually making herself vomit again.

"Alright well, see if you can try something at lunch okay?" Olivia reasoned, "I'm going to make some toast and coffee do you want some water?"

"Okay, and uh no I'm good thank you," Amanda replied.

When Olivia returned to the lounge a few minutes later, Frannie initially showed interest in what the brunette had on her plate but after a quick scolding from Amanda, the dog sat back down and rested her head in Amanda's lap.

"I was thinking I might take Frannie out for a walk," Amanda said.

"Mmhmm," was Olivia's mumbled reply as she chewed her toast. The brunette wasn't sure it was a good idea for Amanda to be over exerting herself, but she realised that a bit of fresh air might be exactly what she needed, "if you give me 20 minutes I'll come with you," Olivia offered.

"You don't have to, it's okay," Amanda countered.

"I'm just thinking, it might be good to have two people in case she pulls on the lead, your ribs are still not healed," Olivia explained. That was the simplest explanation, she didn't want to reveal that she was also worried that it would be the first time Amanda had been out properly in public since her attack.

"Oh yeah, I didn't think of that," Amanda said. She had to admit that Olivia's reasoning made a lot of sense, "don't hurry on our account though it's not like we have anywhere to be,"

"I won't. But I'm kind of looking forward to the walk and the fresh air," Olivia said with a smile, "I won't be long."

While Olivia was in the shower, Amanda busied herself with getting ready to go out. She was already dressed, so she didn't have to worry about that but she did catch a sight of her unruly hair in the mirror and resolved to do something about it. The mess of blonde curls was reminiscent of what her hair had looked like in the long hot summers when she was a kid. Amanda didn't have the strength or the inclination to straighten it so she pulled it back in to the neatest ponytail she could.

She rubbed her stomach absentmindedly as she looked for a decent pair of shoes to wear. There was a deep, dull ache that she'd been able to ignore up until now, the pain of her ribs overshadowing everything else. But now the painkillers were muting all of the aches but not really ridding her completely of any of them. It was tiring, but still more bearable than the excruciating pain she'd been in the past few days.

Amanda waited until Olivia was ready to put on Frannie's leash, not wanting to get her too excited. Whilst usually very well behaved, she was always a little excitable after an extended stay away from Amanda.

"We all ready?" Olivia asked as she emerged from the bathroom. Amanda marvelled at the older woman's ability to look like she had gotten a full nights sleep instead of just a couple of hours. Olivia pulled on her shoes and coat and waited for Amanda to make the next move.

"Just about," Amanda smiled, reaching for Frannie's leash and attaching it to her collar. Frannie jumped at the door excitedly, whimpering for Amanda to open it. Amanda froze as she reached for the door latch. She felt the same apprehension as she had that morning when Geraldine had knocked on the door and she was suddenly grateful that Olivia had offered to go with her. She knew it was irrational, but the thought of being out in public, even with Frannie, was scaring her a lot more than she wanted to admit.

Olivia sensed the blonde's apprehension and rested her hand lightly on the small of Amanda's back, rubbing small soothing circles as Amanda composed herself. The brunette didn't speak, but her presence alone was enough to comfort Amanda and after a few moments she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Thank you for reading :) Please review. Lily and Leanne :)