(Title Card: Candlehead is shown pretending to sing with a projector in front of her. Music notes surround her, and "Silly Songs with Candlehead is written.)
NARRATOR: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Candlehead; the part of the game when Candlehead comes out and sings…a silly song.
(Title card fades, revealing Candlehead clicking blank slides through the projector rhythmically. Gloyd, Swizzle, and Vanellope are her audience.)
NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Candlehead presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event: The Song of the Cebu.
CANDLEHEAD: Cebu! (Projector shows a poorly drawn caricature of Rancis) This is a song about a boy. A song about a little boy, and his cebus. (Three cebus are shown) A song about a little boy and his three cebus. The little boy who had a sick cebu, a sad cebu, and a mute cebu… (A hippo is shown) And also a hippo. (The projections start to mess up) Um…um, this is me in Game Central; this is Donkey Kong; this is me at a bull fight. (Next slide shows Candlehead running from the bull) This is me fighting a bull!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, & VANELLOPE: Oooh!
CANDLEHEAD: This is me and the bull.
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Aaaah!
CANDLEHEAD: This is me, the bull, and…I think that's the bull's cousin. He's a cebu.
(Before the music can swell back up, Crumbelina runs out from behind the screen)
CRUMBELINA: Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector, and a bedsheet! And what on Earth is a cebu anyway?
CANDLEHEAD: It's kinda like a cow, (switches the projector to a drawing of a cebu and a cow staring at each other) …see?
CRUMBELINA: Y-yes, well. Er, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on! (Leaves)
CANDLEHEAD: Cebu! Sing it with me! Cebu!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Cebu!
CANDLEHEAD: Boy is riding with cebu…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Boy is riding with cebu…
CANDLEHEAD: Into town in his canoe…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Into town in his canoe…
CANDLEHEAD: Sick cebu is rowing and sneezing; Achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo-moo-moo!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo-moo-moo!
CANDLEHEAD: Hippo chewing on bamboo…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Hippo chewing on bamboo…
CANDLEHEAD: Can't see boy and three cebu…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Can't see boy and three cebu…
CANDLEHEAD: Sad cebu is rowing and crying; Boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo-moo-moo!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo-moo-moo!
CANDLEHEAD: Cebu!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Cebu!
ALL: Achoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo achoo-moo-moo boo-hoo-moo-moo cebu!
CANDLEHEAD: Hippo seen by mute cebu…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Hippo seen by mute cebu…
CANDLEHEAD: Tries to tell the other two…
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Tries to tell the other two…
CANDLEHEAD: Mute cebu is waving and grunting; mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
CANDLEHEAD: (The projector starts to mess up again; some of the slides either repeat themselves or appear upside down) Uh oh.
(As Candlehead tries to regain control, Crumbelina comes back.)
CRUMBELINA: WAIT! What happens next?! Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebu successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebu sad? Is the canoe wooden or aluminum?
CANDLEHEAD: Oh, look! There's me and Ecco the Dolphin! (click) Oh, wow. Forgot about that one. (click) There's me and that bull again.
CRUMBELINA: You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing. I'm going to speak to Taffyta about this.
CANDLEHEAD: Oh, look! A cebu!
(The title card fades back on screen as they begin to sing again, until Candlehead realizes…)
CANDLEHEAD: No, wait-that's a water buffalo.
(Gloyd, Swizzle, and Vanellope dance across the title card)
GLOYD, SWIZZLE, AND VANELLOPE: No more song about cebu
Need another verse or two
Audience is standing and leaving
Bye-bye-moo-moo bye-bye-moo-moo bye-bye-moo-moo bye-bye-moo-moo-moo-moo
GLOYD: I want my money back!
SWIZZLE: Yeah, that'd be good.
Geez, this one took forever!