(Title Card: Candlehead is dressed like a doctor and standing over a table with a penguin on it.)
NARRATOR: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Candlehead; the part of the game where Candlehead comes out and sings…a silly song.
(The scene fades to show the Sugar Rush recolors standing around a microphone, humming the introductory music.)
There lived a girl so long ago, her memories but faint
Was not admired
CITRUSELLA: Did not inspire…
Like president or saint
But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets
For a special cure
CITRUSELLA: They knew for sure…
Wouldn't come from other vets
Woah-oh…
(Camera pans to show a doctor's office, where a penguin from Ice Climbers lays on an exam table with a thermometer in its beak.)
CANDLEHEAD: This is a song for your poor sick penguin
He's got a fever and his toes are blue
But if I sing to your poor sick penguin
He will feel better in a day or two
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yada-yada-yada-yada-yadee-oo
(The penguin spits the thermometer at Candlehead. It bounces off her face and clatters to the floor. Vanellope, the nurse, walks up to Popo and Nana with a bottle of medicine.)
VANELLOPE: She's gone a little loopy, in case you haven't heard
Here's a couple penicillin for your sickly arctic bird
(Camera pans back to the recolors.)
No sceptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut
The wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut
Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps
Woah-oh
(Vanellope is on the phone.)
VANELLOPE: Good news on the penguin, Doc. He's up and kicking.
(Candlehead smiles as she approaches the table, which now holds a pregnant cat from Mappy Land. She meows in distress.)
CANDLEHEAD: This is a song for your pregnant kitty
She's looking nauseous and a week past due
But if I sing to your pregnant kitty
She will feel better in a day or two
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo
(The cat hisses slightly as Vanellope walks up to the other cat that brought her.)
VANELLOPE: Jump in your car, drive into the city
Buy a jug of milk for this nauseated kitty
(Back to the recolors)
TORVALD: The practice grew, their profits flew, until one fateful day
When the nurse, who did assist the doc, asked for a raise in pay
The doctor pondered this a while, sat back and scratched her scalp, then said…
CANDLEHEAD: (off-screen) No way, Jose.
To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps
Woah-oh…
(Vanellope answers the phone, this time less enthusiastically)
VANELLOPE: Good news on the kitty, doc. She's feeling great, six kittens, named one after you.
(Candlehead looks shocked to find that her next patient is a bear from Rampage, with a bear trap stuck to each of its arms and one foot. He roars angrily.)
CANDLEHEAD: This is a song for your bear trapped teddy
He looks un-comfy. Think I'd be, too
But if I sing to your bear trapped teddy
He will feel better in a day or two
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yodel-yay-ee yodel-ay-ee odel-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo
Yodel-ay-ee yaba-daba-daba-doo!
(The bear stares at her for a few seconds, then continues to roar. Vanellope turns to the "owner," Q-bert, completely calm in the situation.)
VANELLOPE: Oh yeah, that'll work. She's good.
(Candlehead continues to yodel in a futile attempt to calm down the bear.)
CANDLEHEAD: Yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-oo.
No wait! This should work! Yodel-ay-ee! Yodel-ay-oo!
(Camera pans back to the recolors as crashes can be heard.)
Now the moral of our story; it's the point we hope we've made
When you go a little loopy (Torvald crosses her eyes)
Better keep your nurse well paid
(Candlehead runs around them as the bear chases her.)
CANDLEHEAD: Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-oo!
Yodel-odel-ay-ee-ay-ee
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Woah!
Some would stand in silence, while some just scratch their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps
(The spotlight fades on the recolors as we see the bear still chasing Candlehead out the window.)
You're welcome, random citizens!