NARRATOR: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Candlehead;" the part of the game where Candlehead comes out and sings…a silly song.
(Candlehead is sitting in a fancy restaurant among various other arcade patrons. Tails the Fox is playing the piano. Tapper walks up to Candlehead's table.)
TAPPER: And what would you like to drink?
CANDLEHEAD: I'll just have water, please. And, could I have it in a glass this time?
TAPPER: Hmm, let me check my records. (He flips through his notepad and is shocked to find several liquid stains on each page.)
Just as I suspected. Good thing I stopped and checked it
My pad is stained and blotted from liquids you've spilt on it
I'm afraid the jig is up
You must use a sippy cup
CANDLEHEAD: Stop!
Don't bring me a sippy cup
Haven't spilled since yesterday
Water won't stain, anyway
Bring a mug, bring a jug, just don't bring
A sippy cup
TAPPER: Let me check with the busboy. (off-screen) Is she the one?
(Paperboy walks up to the table holding a rag)
PAPERBOY: It's you!
Every time I fill it, she turns around and spills it
I've bought a hundred blotters 'cause you can't hold your waters
This time I'm not mopping up
You must use a sippy cup
CANDLEHEAD: NO!
Don't bring me a sippy cup
They'll be making fun of me
Put a pail in front of me
Bring a mug, bring a jug, just don't bring
A sippy cup
TAPPER: Well, I could ask the maitre'd.
PRINCESS PEACH: This is impossible, she puddles up our café
You take me for a fool? This is a restaurant, not a pool!
Take her glass and lock it up
Candlehead gets a sippy cup
CANDLEHEAD: Wait!
Don't bring me a sippy cup
This time I'm not gonna spill
PAPERBOY: I'm pretty sure she will
CANDLEHEAD: Spilling soda's not a crime
If it is, I'll do time
Just don't bring
A sippy cup
(The lights fade as now, in addition to the restaurant set, we are now in a courtroom. Dr. Eggman sits at a judge's stand.)
EGGMAN: Order, order, in the court
I judge you the clumsy sort
By the dictates of our laws
I've sentenced you to safety straws
(He thrusts a sippy cup into Candlehead's hands. Suddenly, the telephone rings. Paperboy hands it to Eggman.)
PAPERBOY: It's the governor.
EGGMAN: (Answers the phone) Yes? I see…Very well. Thank you, governor.
Give me back that sippy cup
You've been granted Sippy Stay
CANDLEHEAD: This must be my lucky day
ALL: This must be her lucky day
EGGMAN: Bring a mug, bring a jug
PAPERBOY: I'll bring an absorbent rug
ALL: You don't need
A sippy cup
TAPPER: (Offering Candlehead a glass) Compliments of the house, grape juice.
CANDLEHEAD: (nervously) Grape juice?
(Everyone looks on expectantly as Candlehead slowly tips the glass up to her mouth…only to stumble back and spill it all over herself and Nicelander Mary.)
CANDLEHEAD: Oops. Sorry!
NARRATOR: This has been "Silly Songs with Candlehead." Tune in next time to hear Candlehead say…
CANDLEHEAD: I'll take that sippy cup.