(Title Card: Advertisement for "The Blues with Candlehead," featuring Sour Bill. A black and white photo of Candlehead singing into a vintage microphone is shown.)

NARRATOR: And now it's time for The Blues with Candlehead; the part of the game where Candlehead comes out...and sings the blues.

(During the song, Sour Bill is sitting in the corner playing guitar and harmonica.)

CANDLEHEAD: Hey, everybody! I'm gonna lay down some blues.

All sunshine and roses, no rain came my way

I said, all sunshine and roses, no rain came my way

Felix bought me ice cream

Oh happy, happy, happy, happy day

I ate up that ice cream, got some on my face

That's right! Right on my face!

I said, I ate up that ice cream, got some on my face

Got some on the table

Oh happy, sticky, happy happy sticky happy place

SOUR BILL: What are you doing?

CANDLEHEAD: I'm singin' the blues!

SOUR BILL: No, Candlehead, the blues is for singing when you feel sad.

CANDLEHEAD: But I don't feel sad.

SOUR BILL: Then you have no business singing the blues. Here, let me help you. Take this. (Hands her an ice cream bar)

CANDLEHEAD: Cool, ice cream! Thanks!

SOUR BILL: (As she is about to take a bite) Now, give me back the ice cream. (Takes it and eats it)

CANDLEHEAD: You took my ice cream

You took it from me

You took my ice cream

You took it away from me

SOUR BILL: (A little less monotone) Yeah, that's more like it. (Plays a harmonica solo)

CANDLEHEAD: But I'm still not sad

I'll just have a...

Cookie!

SOUR BILL: No, no, no, kid, you almost had it. Come on, it's like this.

You took away my ice cream

You took it away from me

My sweet creamy ice cream

(Takes her cookie)

I don't care about this cookie

(Throws it on the ground and smashes it with the guitar)

Now try again.

CANDLEHEAD: (Tearfully) My cookies and ice cream

They both gone away

SOUR BILL: That's right. Feel it.

CANDLEHEAD: (sniffles) My cookies and ice cream

They both gone away

SOUR BILL: Sweet, kid.

CANDLEHEAD: (Suddenly more upbeat again, much to the shock of Bill) But that don't bother me none

I've got me my freshly baked...

Strudel!

SOUR BILL: Strudel?! You can't say "strudel" in the blues. That doesn't even rhyme.

CANDLEHEAD: Well, what about "poodle?"

(A cotton candy poodle jumps onto the stage)

SOUR BILL: Don't tell me you're going to eat that poodle.

CANDLEHEAD: No, I'm just gonna pet him. Petting poodles makes me happy!

SOUR BILL: Sorry, kid. You are way too happy to sing the blues.

(As soon as Bill leaves, a marshmallow wearing lederhosen comes up to Candlehead)

MARSHMALLOW: Hello! Would you like to polka?

CANDLEHEAD: Sure!

Don't got no ice cream, no cookies, or strudel

Don't got no ice cream, no cookies or strudel

But I'm yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee happy-hoo

Just here with my poodle

That's right! Oh yeah!

I'm yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee yodel-ay-ee happy-hoo

Just me and my poodle

NARRATOR: This has been The Blues with Candlehead. Tune in next time to...(Candlehead, the marshmallow, and the poodle begin to dance across the title card) Oh, never mind. Candlehead is not likely to be singing the blues anytime soon.