Oh boy. I'm not sure I got sidetracked as much as I hopped on a ship and went to an entirely different planet to where the track was in the first place. Into The Unknown really took over everything and then I just kinda forgot about this. Valentine's Day is here though so I may as well finish this. The original idea for this chapter ended up morphing into the 'Prompt: Shadows to the walls of the cave' story I did a few months ago, but this is still something separate so here ya go.
This is set during Season 4's mid-season break a few hours after Hera's capture in Rebel Assault. With no official answer on the spacing between each episode and season, I'm just assuming that it has been about a year since the events of the last chapter. It's probably not accurate but it's the best I can work with. This is a bit short too, but better short and sweet than long and rambling (my usual author's notes not withstanding).
Volunteering for a night time watch was a first for Ezra, but tonight was anything but normal. Hera was gone, captured by the Empire, and her attack had failed. The hopes of saving Lothal had been shattered, perhaps beyond repair, just when it seemed like things were taking a turn in their favour.
After the chaos of the Rebel assault, the eerie night time silence felt even worse. The absence of tweets and chirps from wildlife or the slight smell of smoke and fire that hung about the whole planet were constant reminders of the devastation being wrought on the world, and their inability to put a stop to it. Even the wind didn't rustle through the grass and rocks like it used to when Ezra was younger. The whole planet was silent, as if holding it breath waiting to see how these next few days would unfold. It felt wrong.
Ezra wasn't surprised when, in the small hours of the morning, that silence was broken by gentle steps trudging up the rocky path behind him. Sabine's presence in the force was darker, heavier than it usually was. The radiance and spirit he associated with her was shrouded by a veil of fear, pain, and anger. They didn't belong on her, none of it did.
"Can't sleep?", he asked softly, without moving or turning from his position.
Sabine sat down against the rock beside him. "Not really", she sighed.
His eyes were still shut tight. It was perhaps counter intuitive that closing his eyes would be a good idea when on watch but the force was a far better tool than anyone's eyes could be.
"You're unsettled." Ezra's talents for reading her thoughts were now near perfect.
"And you're not?", she bit, irritated. Ezra opened his eyes, his focus broken. Sabine sighed angrily and pulled her legs up to her chest, "Sorry I didn't mean to snap."
"No, it's okay. I'm worried too", Ezra folded his legs out of his kneeling position and sat down next to her, resting his arms on his knees.
Neither knew where to start.
"Do you think she'll be alright?" Sabine knew he wouldn't have the answer.
Ezra shifted uncomfortably, their arms close enough to brush against each other. "I think we need to get her as soon as we can."
It was the most diplomatic answer he could have given her.
Silence passed. Sabine shuffled her feet restlessly. He knew she hated to be sitting here doing nothing. Sabine probably half-considered marching into Capital City herself and pulling Hera out and cutting through every imperial that tried to stop them. Ezra could hardly blame her. Hera had been the tender and loving mother that Sabine had never had, just as Hera had filled the void of the mother he'd lost. Hera was the irreplaceable centre of their entire family. None more so than for Kanan, of course.
Beside him, Sabine sighed. "I can't tell how Kanan's holding up through all this." Her thoughts hadn't been far from his own.
Years of bonding, trust, and training had forged a close link between master and student. Ezra couldn't miss the heartbreak he'd felt earlier. It was raw and human. It might not have been what a Jedi should feel, but it was everything Ezra knew Kanan would feel. Kanan loved Hera, more than he could put into words, just like she loved him. That love was their best chance at saving her.
"He's just focused on getting her back now." Ezra looked out to the murky horizon, the hazy moonlight barely cutting through the industrial fog clogging the sky. "Thinks look bleak but Kanan won't give up on her, and neither will we. That'll keep us going, I know it will."
The Mandalorian let her legs down and exhaled deeply. "I just can't imagine what it'd be like", she was almost whispering, her eyes fixated on the ground by her feet. "To have someone you love taken from you right in front of your eyes with no idea if or when you might get them back."
Something stirred in the back of Ezra's mind. A subtle pull, gentle and barely perceptible, that twisted a knot in his stomach. It would be horrible. Ezra wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, let alone on the people he loved the most.
Ezra felt new emotions rising. Anger? Fear? Shame? Why? There was something gnawing at his spirit as Sabine's words echoed around his mind. Or maybe he could explain it and he just didn't want to. Maybe he knew why the fear of the people you love slipping out of your grasp resonated so strongly these last few days. Maybe he did know why seeing her so utterly broken by the mere thought of it made his heart sink with absolute and uncontrollable guilt.
It was bad enough that the choice wasn't his anymore. If that was how things were going to play out, then it was up to the force now. But the worst part of all was that he couldn't tell her. Even though what he saw was still so unclear, he knew enough to be sure she couldn't find out. Not yet.
Whatever happened though, whatever darkness was lurking on the horizon, he still had one thing that kept a flicker of hope burning defiantly: he'd be able to count on her. He trusted her with his life. Whatever came, she'd have his back until the end.
Even if he couldn't warn her of what was to come, he could at least acknowledge that.
"I guess we just have to hope it never comes to that." It felt almost like lying to her, but he could never let her see. "We just have to keep the ones we love close while we have them, and never let them forget what they mean to us. I know Kanan and Hera would say the same."
She sighed, "Yeah, I know they would."
Ezra's head fell onto his arms. Hera and Kanan meant so much to both of them. To see them torn apart like this was cruel beyond words. It may have only been a few days since they made an obvious show of their love, but it had been there for years. The endearments, the hugs in hallways when they thought no one was around, or just the instinctive ways they put each other above anything else, all of it was as much a sign of love as saying the words were. Kanan and Hera had been saying they loved each other indirectly for as long as he'd known them, and that was no less important that doing it explicitly.
"Ezra?", Sabine said suddenly.
He lifted his head. "Hmm?"
Their eyes met. "Happy Heart's Day."
He'd forgotten. He'd completely forgotten. Ezra'd been so lost in war and rebellion that he'd forgotten all about that goofy local holiday. For the last three years he'd been the one prompting her, annoying her, joking with her about the whole thing, yet now it was her that knew. Sabine remembered now, after everything that had happened, after everything they'd just talked about, she remembered. Not only that, she made sure to tell him.
A smile, the first real one for so long, forced its way through. He held her gaze, no fear or uncertainty compelling him to look away. "Happy Heart's Day, Sabine."
Ezra knew what she'd meant when she said it. The timing, the context - even he, oblivious as he could be, knew what Sabine was trying to say. Sabine was better than she had been with emotions, but everyone knew the saying about taking Mandalorians away from Mandalore. Learning to read his best friend and the things she kept just below the surface was one of the things he'd come to treasure most. That was assuming 'best friend' even covered it anymore, which he knew it didn't.
Ezra loved her, of course. He wasn't some starstruck child too scared or too stupid to realise that. It had been a gradual development, formed as much out of friendship as of romantic attachment. It was a pure and absolute thing that underlined everything they'd built with each other. The friendship, the trust, the cohesion, the humour, the dependence - all facets of that single immovable truth.
Neither of them had looked away from each other. She could read him as well as he could read her. There was no doubt that she knew exactly what was going through his head, just as he did in hers.
For the briefest moment he considered going for it. His eyes broke contact and danced to her lips, their faces only inches apart from each other. A piece of him screamed to put an end to years of pining and months of building tension and finally make things clear.
Ezra was glad he didn't.
The moment passed and they both broke the gaze. Now wasn't the time. With everything that was happening they couldn't do that to each other. With everything that was about to come to pass, he certainly couldn't bear to do that to her. Perhaps there'd be another chance in some distant future when the war didn't loom over everything and when they could have the time and peace they both deserved. But that time wasn't now.
Instead, they went back to watching the plains as morning slowly marched towards them. Ezra was taking his own advice: treasuring the person he loved while he had the chance.
Force knew it might be a long time before he'd have that chance again.
Yes, I did spend part of my Valentine's day night writing a fluff fic for two cartoon characters. You can draw your own conclusions about my own love life from there, really.
I'll mark this story as complete for now. I did originally plan two more chapters but I don't really have time for fanfic anymore. I've started working on my own original stuff, so one day in the future I'll probably post a little something here as an excuse to plug that. Until then, enjoy TCW S7, and fingers crossed for that Rebels sequel announcement. Any day now, right?