Ryou gently placed one arm around the other's elbow, hoping to guide him to a nearby chair. But the intruder only snapped in ungrateful ire.

"I don't need your d*mn sympathy!"

Starting to get the gist of the pair's attitudes, Ryou sighed before he responded. "Well, call it a peace offering after I beaned you in the forehead earlier."

"Tch- whatever." The still-shaking youth reluctantly accepted the aid and was led to a nearby chair.

Ryou glanced concernedly at the grimacing burglar. "Um, would you like a glass of water?"

"No." Bakura snapped harshly before turning on his comrade. "And what are you still doing here?! I told you to get out!"

"How about... NO." Marik replied, casually twirling a blonde lock between his dark fingers. "I think I'll stay here and watch you suffer, instead."

"You sentimental, stubborn jack*ss!" The seated man seethed as his friend stood, not moving. "I'm ORDERING YOU to GO!"

"Hmm... nope, not happening." Ryou noticed that this 'Marik' guy seemed to be almost enjoying his friend's duress. "After all, we're both level 1 Reapers- which means you can't order me around." The darker intruder's eyes glistened with a hint of mischief and delight.

"I'm older and smarter, which means you have to listen to me!"

"Oh?" Marik began nonchalantly cleaning his right ear with his pinkie finger. "So enlighten me: if you're so much smarter, then why do you have a giant bruise forming on your forehead?"

"You... you-!" Clearly eager to beat some sense into his partner, but held back by his weakened body, 'Bakura' let out a frustrated bellow.

"ARRRRGHHHH!" He kicked out wildly, to no avail. "THIS SUCKS! We didn't come all this way just for us both of us to get killed on the first test! I'm ordering you, in the name of all that is unholy, to -F*CK- OFF!"

Marik started to retort, but both of the trespassers were stunned when Ryou suddenly smacked the white-haired thief upside the head with a rolled-up magazine.

*THWAP!*

The shortest male in the kitchen frowned down at the seated stalker. "First of all, I don't tolerate bad language in my house. Secondly, there's no need to shout- this is a nice, quiet neighborhood and I respect my fellow residents. But if you insist on making a fuss I'll be certain to call the cops. If my neighbors don't beat me to it. Got it?" Ryou pointed the rolled-up magazine towards the bewildered pair. Apparently the homeowner had given Malik his share of the kitchen knives before picking up the less-lethal instrument.

Marik appeared just as stunned as Bakura, but then he began laughing wildly. "You just got told off by your target!"

Ryou felt his concern rising as he gestured softly towards the strange blonde. "Is... is he insane?"

The defeated prowler groaned as he shook his aching head. "Short answer: yes. Long answer: Definitely."

Malik seemed a little unnerved by his look-alike's fit as he glanced quizzically at his friend. "Ryou... now would be a great time for a back-up plan."

The other student nodded before glaring at the intruders. "Right. So, here's what's going to happen: you're going to tell us why you're here- the whole story- and if we believe you, we'll let you go scott-free."

Bakura gave another disdainful snort. "And if we refuse? What makes you think you have any power here?!"

"Well, aside from your unusual injury and our weapons..." Ryou trailed off as Malik lifted the four blades in his grasp, "...you've also already admitted to having a criminal record, and the fact that you've mixed up our addresses tells me you're not familiar with this neighborhood. This is a fairly quiet area, so I'm betting the cops would be glad to haul butt over here within the next few minutes. Given that their headquarters is only six blocks East of here, I'm guessing it'd take them less than five. Maybe more, maybe less- but not exactly a wide margin of error for your 'escape plans'." Ryou's normally innocent face grew slightly smug as he gestured towards the front hall. "So, by all means, go ahead- take the gamble. Play the risk. But if you truly have 'nothing to lose,' like you said, I think you would've already scarpered." Bakura's jaw nearly dropped as he listened to the suddenly confident teen. "So yes, I am calling your bluff, and I'm letting you know exactly who has the power here."

Evidently impressed, Marik gave another grin as he pointed one thumb towards the brazen homeowner. "I like this one."

Bakura, meanwhile, was trying not to sulk. Here he was, on his first operation, stuck helpless in a chair while his own target lectured him and beat him with a copy of 'Popular Science'!

"Sh*t..." He let out a long breath as he struggled to find some way to salvage the mission. "Fine." Bakura decided the best route was to play along... for now. 'I'll let the little twerp think he's gotten the upper hand, and then I'll snap his neck once this damn pain has subsided.' "To make a long story short- we're time travelers."

"Time travelers?" Both Malik and Ryou repeated the phrase out loud simultaneously. Ryou glanced sideways, sharing a look of disbelief with his long-time friend.

Malik then not-so-quietly whispered: "Ten-to-one he's tripping on LSD or PCP."

Ryou nodded in agreement while Bakura fumed. "I'm not a d*mned junkie!"

Malik rolled his eyes and waved one hand in dismissal. "Oh, suuuure- if you're really a time traveler, then prove it."

The white-haired deviant scoffed. "We're not supposed to prove it! Our whole job requires us to retrieve things without being seen!"

"Uh-huh." Evidently Ryou was just as skeptical of the stranger's tale. "And just what year are you from, then?"

"From the year 2209." Marik quickly interjected, much to Bakura's dismay.

"IDIOT! We're not supposed to tell them that!" The frustrated trespasser jumped, as though he wanted to throttle his partner again. But then he was forced back into his seat as wave of exhaustion struck. "...d*mn it."

Marik looked concerned again, and glanced curiously at the other intruder's left wrist. "Shouldn't your SID have warned you that you were about to have an attack? Is something wrong with your implant?"

"Nothing!" The white-haired reaper snarled. "I didn't even get a chance to use it before that caveman went savage on my head!"

"I didn't mean to hit him!" Ryou proclaimed in self-defense. "I was just about to put away a frying pan when he stepped into my path!"

Marik began cackling, clearly amused by his partner's carelessness. "Looks like your 'stealthiness' strategy didn't pan out!"

Malik was staring at his doppelganger in disbelief. "Your friend is hurt, and you're making puns?!"

Ryou stuck out his tongue. "Not even good ones, at that."

"Tell me about it." Bakura hissed under his breath. "He's insufferable." The white-haired deviant let out a sigh as he tilted his head backwards. "I'm afraid he's developed a rather... twisted sense of humor thanks to the grim nature of our reality." His scarlet eyes closed for a second as he spoke. "Anyway, the entire situation is so f*cked up now-"

*THWAP!*

"WILL YOU STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT D*MN MAGAZINE?!" Bakura snarled as he glared at the other white-haired teen.

"Certainly- as soon as you stop cussing like a drunken sailor." Ryou folded his arms, the offending issue still curled in his right hand. "Like I said before: this is my home, and I don't like foul language ringing about the walls like a negative ear-worm."

Bakura wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream. "You think you're a freakin' nun or something?! What the fu- OW!" The deviant yelped as he was, again, thwapped by the accursed publication.

"You're pretty much destined to do that for the rest of his life- Bakura's vocabulary is almost exclusively occupied by four-letter words." Marik replied with a smirk. He seemed rather amused by the pair's antics, and made no move to stop Ryou from hitting his comrade.

Meanwhile, the exhausted captive was huffing as he glared at the other white-haired teen. "As soon as I get my strength back, I'm gonna take that magazine and shove it-" *THWAP!* "-ARGH! What the h*ll?! I didn't even say anything!"

"Yes, because I'm sure your full response was going to be 'I'm going to shove it right back into its rightful spot on your bookshelf.'" Ryou retorted dryly.

Bakura leered at his non-target. "Arrogant little snot... and how would you know?! Maybe I was going to say that!"

Marik instantly chimed in. "He wasn't!"

"Shut up, you idiot!"

Ryou shook his head in disbelief. "Right, so you're saying you're both time travelers?" The studious teen frowned and re-folded his arms. "I'm sorry, but that really makes no sense. Why would someone send somebody nearly our age back in time? I'm assuming this is a complicated and expensive process, so why on Earth would anyone entrust the secret to two teenagers with a drug habit?"

"It's not a dam-er, dang drug habit!" Bakura quickly corrected himself as the magazine reappeared in his line of sight. "It's the whole reason we're here!"

"Alright." Let's say (for the sake of of the argument) that we believe you. So tell us- what is the future like?" Ryou casually queried.

Bakura snorted. "Not much has changed... technology's gotten a lot better, but that's about it. People still suck."

"You mean you can't even describe what's different?" Malik frowned, clearly unconvinced. But Ryou seemed slightly less skeptical than before.

"Actually, Malik; that kinda makes sense. That would be about 200 years from now, right? So, think about how little things have changed since a hundred years before today. It's really not that much- I mean, they still had cars and radios and whatnot- it's not like there was nothing back then."

"Huh... I guess that's somewhat believable." Malik conceded. "It's pretty disappointing, though- what about jet-packs and virtual reality and all that stuff?!"

Marik shrugged as he spoke. "Virtual reality is mainly used for advanced medical training and spoiled children's video game systems. And just the idea of people having personal jet-packs makes me cringe- I don't know how people are in this time period, but we have some pretty f**king crazy drivers in the future. They're bad enough on the ground, much less in the air."

"How come HE doesn't get his head thwacked?!" Bakura loudly exclaimed as Ryou stayed near his chair.

The pale teen gave him a stern look. "My arms can't reach that far, and you've proved to be the worse offender overall."

"You've gotta be joking... who do you think taught me all those words in the first place?!"

Both Malik and Ryou turned their attention towards the other blonde, who shrugged once again. "Guilty as charged."

Ryou glanced down at the clearly exhausted storyteller. "Okay, I'll stop hitting you; but only if you make an effort to tone down the swearing in the rest of your story, alright?" The polite youth helpfully offered his tired look-alike.

"Fine; whatever." The seated scoundrel was about to say more, when a strange beeping noise loudly interrupted the group.