THERE WAS A STORY told about the forest, about the first King, that he won not because of his skill, his strength, his sheer intelligence; but the respect he carried for the creatures of the forest.
Indeed, he needed everything to make it through: to answer the riddles, and beat the monsters that guarded the forest. But when he reached the center, he stood in a clearing, with the sun beating down on his face, and when he looked forward, he saw the beginnings of a sapling, just sprouting from the earth.
The birth of a story.
AHIRU STOOD AT THE top of the palace steps, her grin all too wide as she watched the black carriage that had brought the Duke Raven to their doorstep being loaded with the luggage he and Mr. Cat had brought with them.
Uzura tugged at Ahiru's hand, and she bent down so Uzura could whisper in her ear.
"Is the bad man leaving now, zura?"
Ahiru nodded and gave a reassuring squeeze to Uzura's hand. "Yes, and he won't ever bother us again."
"Ahem."
Ahiru stood straight and was face to face with Raven himself.
"Your… grace." He said, as if he could barely say the word. He gave her a stifled bow, a heavy glare that never left her face.
And when she peeled her hand away from Uzura's to take up her skirt and offer him a proper curtsy, she gave him a sweet smile, her eyes never leaving his face, either.
He straightened, and cleared his throat, moving away until he stood in front of Rue.
Ahiru's nose crinkled when he bent down to whisper something in Rue's ear.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, your Grace." Mr Cat said, he gave her a low bow.
Ahiru picked up her skirts again, her standing leg only wobbling a little, and she gave him an awkward smile. "It- it was nice to meet you as well!"
Ahiru's hands returned to her side, but when she reached out to take Uzura's hand again, she found something strange.
Uzura was gone.
Ahiru took a sharp breath, her head jutting to the side to find that the small girl was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh no." She whispered under her breath, and looked back to where the Duke and Mr. Cat where still making their good-byes, it would be rude to leave.
Ahiru would have to stay put until the two men were tucked into the carriage, rolling away from the castle.
Ahiru bit her lip and let out a low whimper, she bounced on her feet and wondered if it was ruder to run off or to appear so impatient.
Fortunately it was Rue who stood next to her and not someone… Meaner.
"Ahiru, what's the matter?" Rue asked, leaning slightly towards her.
"Nothing!" Ahiru gave a trifling laugh, her eyes flashing to where Uzura once stood, and the only direction she could have run off without anyone noticing. Ahiru let her eyes travel up until they met the city walls, and then-
"Oh." Ahiru whined, her face contorted into a grimace.
The forest.
Ahiru continued making faces as the Duke drew out his goodbyes, and Mr. Cat slowly travesered down the stairs.
"Are you alright?" Rue tried again, the tips of her fingers reaching out for Ahiru's.
"I just forgot something! And I can't leave until-" Ahiru let out a baleful moan.
"Of course." Rue gave Ahiru's hand a squeeze. "Raven!" She shouted, earning the attention of everyone that stood around her, she stepped out from beside Mytho. "I will see you in one month's time, in Rothenberg."
Raven snapped his mouth shut and sent her a barely concealed glare, before he bowed lowly, and descended down the stairs.
Ahiru was hopping on her toes, oh how far had Uzura gotten? She was quick, and even when she didn't have such a large head start, she was able to get leagues ahead.
Uzura was probably in the forest by now.
Ahiru jumped when she heard the sound of the carriage doors shut, and with the crack of the whip she hoisted up her skirts and turned toward the western gates, hoping that Uzura hadn't gotten eaten by some forest dwelling monster creature.
"Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez," She chanted under her breath. "Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez, oh geez. Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez!"
Ahiru looked around her, finding only the faces of adults, of farmers and sellers, but not her little Uzura. She started running again, and almost didn't hear someone calling her name.
"Ahiru!"
Someone grabbed her elbow, and she stumbled, tripping over the edge of her dress, but whoever grabbed her didn't let her go, took hold of her other arm as well, bringing her closer.
"Ahiru."
Ahiru gasped, and looked up, unable to stop the sigh of relief that passed her lips. "Oh Fakir, you have to help me. It's Uzura, she-"
"Ran off?"
Ahiru smiled, still panting from her dash. "Yeah, how'd you know?"
There was a small smile on his lips and he shook his head. "I still don't trust you with children."
She pouted, but despite her best efforts she couldn't stop the grin that pushed at her lips. "I think she's going to the forest, we have to stop her."
Any trace of amusement left Fakir's features and looked over to the wall. "Go back to the palace, I'll make sure she's safe." Fakir let her go and made his way to the forest, his hand checking his belt, his hidden dagger still tucked in place.
Ahiru pouted again, and stuck her hands on her hips before she chased after him. "No! I can't just-"
"Ahiru, the forest is dangerous, you can't just-"
"I don't care how dangerous everyone claims the forest to be!" Ahiru pushed past Fakir, her long legs breaking out into a sprint. "I'm not letting Uzura go in there by herself!"
Fakir groaned, but she heard his heavy footsteps.
Ahiru pursed her lips when she saw the door that let out to the fields and behind that the forest swinging, as if someone didn't close it properly.
The mistake only a child could make.
"Ahiru, please." Fakir tried one last time as they closed the door behind them. "Go back, I'll make sure Uzura is safe."
Ahiru shook her head, her feet trodding over the fields. "I'll only go back when I have Uzura."
Ahiru kept her eyes on the treeline, where the wildflowers disappeared and gave way to the towering trees, their branches casting shadows on the floor below them, it sent a shiver down her spine. But…
There was something inside of the forest, something that called to her, pulling at her to come closer, to come inside, to lay down on the warm earth and stay for a while.
Ahiru stopped, her toes edging the last bit of grass.
"I won't tell you to go, but-" Fakir turned his face away, a bright blush covering his cheeks as he offered her his outstretched hand. "Don't get lost."
Ahiru looked at the hand, her eyes traveled up his arm, his shoulder, his neck and she tried to meet his eyes, but they were turned away. He blinked, as if he could feel her gaze on him, and turned.
She smiled gently, and lifted her hand, her fingers sliding over his palm until she slipped into his grasp, fingers interlocking.
A sharp breeze made her shiver, blew the loose strands of hair into her eyes, and made her wish she wore something warmer, but soon she was stepping inside the forest and she hoped the trees were dense enough to block the wind.
One of the things that Ahiru would never get used to was how tall the trees were.
They reached the sky, she was sure their tops scraped the clouds, and their branches where never ending, it was hard to tell which belonged to which tree. They overlapped and wove into each other, almost blocking the sun entirely.
That was another thing, with every step, she felt warmer, as if the sharp winds that rattled the castle were warded off by the thick trees, and as if the treetops parted the clouds so that there was only sun.
She closed her eyes and sighed, the sunlight pouring down through the canopy.
It was nothing like the ocean.
"Ahiru, I see her."
Ahiru jolted away from her musings, from her sunbathing and set her eyes on the well worn path they traveled.
He was right, their path lead right to a clearing where Uzura ran around and played with something that slithered around in the grass.
Strange, she thought, that there would be such a well worn path in the forest where no one ever walked. Completely bare of rocks and branches, of tree roots or fallen leaves. The path was smooth, and the thin sole of her slipper, made for leisure, not for walking, could feel every pebble that poked and prodded at her feet, but here, it felt like she was walking on the paved paths of the palace garden.
She looked behind her. Her eyes widened, and she gasped sharply when she only saw a wall of trees and branches, the well trodden path gone, and replaced with wildness.
She swallowed hard, wondering if Fakir realized it too.
Her grip on his hand tightened.
But when they stepped into the clearing, Ahiru blinked as her eyes adjusted to the sun, unburdened by clouds and shining so brightly down on her. She smiled, and hummed contendly.
"Uzura!" She called out.
Uzura paused, out of breath and laughing hard, and what appeared to by a giant salamander rose up on its hind legs. Uzura laughed as she ran towards Ahiru and Fakir, she grabbed their hands and pulled them into the clearing.
"You're here, zura!" She cried out, clapping her little hands together.
Fakir sighed, but Ahiru saw the twitch of his lip, he bent down and placed his hand on Uzura's shoulder. "You should know better than to run off like that."
Uzura pouted, she bowed her head and stuck out her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, zura."
Ahiru knelt down beside Fakir. "What were you thinking? Going off on your own?"
"I'm not alone, zura!"
Ahiru hoped she didn't mean the salamander, which had gained some bravery and waddled over to her sniffing at her silk covered thigh, and climbing up on her. She giggled, and placed her hand on it's head. "Is this your friend, Uzura?"
"Careful." Fakir warned, his watchful eyes on the creature.
"Yes, zura! He's been lonely, so I had to come and cheer him up, zura!" Uzura smiled proudly, before wrapping her arms around the salamander's neck and pulling him close.
"We should go, Uzura." Fakir said. "Before-" He was stumped, even though he knew what was really in the forest, he couldn't see the danger. "Before something happens."
"Wait!" Uzura cried, "We can't leave, zura!"
Fakir sighed and tilted his head. "Uzura, we can't stay here."
She crossed her arms. "Why not, zura?"
"It's dangerous."
"How, zura!"
Yes, how? Ahiru wondered, she looked at the green grass of this perfect little meadow, only marred by a clean tree stump, the sun warm on her skin like it hadn't been for weeks.
Uzura reached for Fakir's hand and started to pull at it.
"Use your words." He said patiently.
"Come here, zura!" She demanded. "I want to show you something, zura."
Fakir shook his head, a soft expression taking over his countenance.
He stood and let Uzura pull him to the tree stump.
Ahiru stood too, sending a look to the salamander before she followed them.
Uzura put her hands on the stump, and drummed it, before resting her cheek on it.
"Careful, you'll get a splinter." Fakir warned, but his voice was still soft.
Ahiru knelt down and leaned on the stump, she laid her arm across it, the tips of her fingers only reaching the center of the rings, she rested her cheek on her arm.
Fakir was wary, and Ahiru watched his face become too serious as he stared at the tree, as if he was being entranced by it.
He reached out, his hand landing on the center, at the very first ring.
"Okay." Uzura said, peeling herself away from the stump. "We can go now, zura."
Uzura turned on the heel of her foot and marched away.
Ahiru looked up at Fakir, and he met her gaze.
There was something about this place, and Ahiru just couldn't put her finger on it.
AHIRU STRETCHED HER ARMS above her head as she finished writing in her diary, closing the latch and locking it before returning the key to her locket.
There was something different about the forest, and she couldn't figure it out.
Compared to the sea, the constant breeze and the sun reflecting off the water, the sound of the waves hitting the shore, the gulls that flew in the air, she could close her eyes and it was like she was there, the chilling water lapping at her feet.
The forest… In the forest there was a calm, everything was still, as if it was sleeping.
She was comforted when she thought about the sea, no matter what it had done to her, she still loved it with every ounce of her heart, and as she retired, laying down in bed, her body rocked as if she were floating on the waves.
The forest was like that, too.
She could feel the warm sun on her cheeks, even though it was nearing winter, and she felt a welcomed peace that surrounded her, as if the forest had accepted her and took her in when the sea had cast her out.
Ahiru yawned and turned to her side, she would have to figure out what it was about the forest that made her feel so safe, so…
Wanted.
A WEEK HAD PASSED since she and Fakir had saved Uzura from the forest, and she sat at her window sill, an untouched bowl of birdseed sat on the edge, and she almost didn't care.
As much as she missed the birds, her eyes turned to the forest and she sighed, it was calling to her again, pulling at her heart and beckoning her to come back.
She wondered if that was the danger of the forest, so welcoming it tricks you to stay forever, until whatever lurked inside decided it was hungry enough to eat you.
Pique and Lillie came in everyday to her staring out the window.
Pique shuddered and let out a loud groan. "It's freezing in here!"
"Ahiru! You'll catch your death!" Lillie cried, although it sounded as if she did want Ahiru to catch her death.
"Pique." Ahiru asked as she changed her, pulling today's dress over her head. "Do you know what's in the forest?"
Pique scoffed. "No one knows what's in the forest, what everyone does know is that if you go in too deep, you don't come back out."
"She's right! That's why Rodrick came back with a broken leg."
"Who?" Ahiru's eyebrows knit together.
"The boy from the Baursspiel." Pique said. "Wasn't it so brave of Fakir to go in and save him?"
"Yes! And our little Ahiru went in too! How stupid of you!"
"Yeah why'd you do that?"
Ahiru pursed her lips. "I was worried."
Ahiru thought back to the Baursspiel, about the boy she and Fakir saved, his broken leg, was it because he had gone too deep?
Then why was she still alive?
Pique and Lillie didn't stay long, they had a lot of duties this month, preparing for a wedding and another ball.
Ahiru sighed, alone and cold in her room, even with the window shut securely.
Everyone else seemed… busy.
Pique and Lillie had their maidly duties, and Mytho and Rue, well, Ahiru didn't really want to think about what they were up to lately.
Even Autor stayed crammed up in the library, some book in his hand, a last ditch effort to cram as much knowledge into his skull before he had to run.
Ahiru knew she should have been doing something like that, studying or whatever, but that didn't stop her from wandering around the castle, still trying to learn all she could about it, where things were and the best ways to get to them.
That is, if she was allowed to stay in the palace.
She wanted to stay here, by Fakir's side, and show him her support.
Rue and Mytho would be gone, not too far, not so far that it would take months for them to get her letters, and she had no idea what would happen to Autor, if he would stay here, or if he would go out into the world in the pursuit of knowledge.
Fakir would be King, and she would be…
Ahiru pouted, it wasn't too often that she had to think about her future, about her place in life.
For a long time, it was so certain what she would be, who she would be.
It changed, it all changed in one night, because the next morning she was betrothed to a Prince. Now she was betrothed to a different Prince, and he wasn't even really the Prince, and the real Prince was a Blacksmith, and he promised her that she could stay here.
Ahiru looked up, she had stopped paying attention to where she was walking and found herself walking down a great hallway, tall and wide and covered in larger than life portraits.
Except for the first.
She looked at it, and it was so old, painted hundreds of years ago, it was cracked and ruined, but not from abuse. It was hard to make out, but she saw two people.
A man and a woman.
"The first King and Queen."
Ahiru gasped, she turned on her heel and smiled up at Fakir. "What are you doing here?"
Fakir looked away from her, "I like to come look at the paintings sometimes."
"His name was Lohengrin, right?" Ahiru looked back at the painting, if she squinted, she swore the King's eyes were green. "Like yours-"
"Shh!" Fakir shook his head, an airy chuckle escaping him. "Yes, that was his name."
"What was her's?" Ahiru looked to the Queen, the only certain feature Ahiru could pick out was the length of her hair, reaching past her waist.
"No one knows. It was lost to time."
Ahiru pouted. "No one wrote it down?"
Fakir shrugged. "Something like that." He came up beside her and offered her his elbow. "I can tell you about the rest, if you'd like."
Ahiru took his arm, "I'd love to."
Fakir showed her each and every portrait, he gave her their names, what they did, who was the bloodline and who had married in and from where, who had run the Königsspiel, and how long they reigned.
"And this." Fakir came to a stop in front of the most recent painting. "This is Queen Mythra Helmia and King Thomas Ecke Drosselmeyer. The Poor King." He held his tongue on the title his mother had earned.
The Dead Queen.
Fakir looked out the side of his eye as Ahiru tilted her head, her eyes examining the King and Queen, their golden crowns and rich attire.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
Fakir shook his head.
"It must be horrible, knowing that your parents didn't just die, but were killed. And!- And I know your mother is- is still alive, but…"
Fakir placed his hand on hers, resting comfortably on the crook of his elbow. "I know."
Ahiru smiled up at him, before standing up on her tip toes and pulling his arm until she could whisper in his ear. "You look so much like them, so much like your father." Her nose pressed to his cheek. "Do- do you want to go back to the forest?"
He laughed quietly, a short huff of air out his nose that was barely perceptible as he turned his head to her ear. "Yes."
She broke out into a grin and they went back into the forest together.
Their feet finding the same, trodden path as before that lead them to the meadow with the same tree stump sticking out of the ground.
"Did you notice something… off about this place?" Ahiru asked, she closed her eyes and spread out her arms, wishing that her sleeves were gone so that her arms could experience the same warmth the skin of her cheeks and neck did.
Fakir took her hand. "Yes." He said, not surprised when she started to run around him, he smiled and started to spin, until he stopped, until he pulled her closer and she rammed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she giggled.
"I feel like… like I could stay here for forever." She lifted a hand, fingering the fabric of his shirt, pulling at the spot just above his heart. "Do you think that's what they mean? When they say the forest is dangerous?"
Fakir shook his head. "I'm sure it's not."
Ahiru hummed, she leaned her head against his shoulder and under her ear she could hear his heartbeat.
"We should go back." He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Ahiru groaned, she was getting used to the feeling of his hands on her back, holding her closer, she didn't want to leave. "If we go back I have to talk to Autor."
His grip tightened around her briefly before it lessened and he pulled away. "Is that really so bad?"
Ahiru pouted. "It is when I don't want to talk to him."
"Who do you want to talk to, instead?"
Ahiru closed her eyes, but there was only one face she could conjure in her mind's eye. "You."
"Ahiru-" He paused and cleared his throat, he stepped away from her until she was completely out of his reach, out of his warmth. "We should go back."
She didn't argue this time.
IT WASN'T HARD TO convince Fakir to go back to the forest, she asked him nearly every day to take her there, so often that just the touch of her hand on his, and the look in her eyes told him what she wanted.
It was obvious that she enjoyed the forest, and he wasn't entirely sure why, what drew her here, what made her come back everyday, but maybe it was similar to what he felt.
The feeling of belonging somewhere.
It was also nice, that in those moments they were able to escape to the forest, they weren't bothered.
Not by Edel.
Not by Autor.
The Bookmen, or even Drosselmeyer.
He was able to sit by her side, and stare.
Stare as she leaned back on her hands, her face turned to the sun, uncaring if it marred her skin, the concern of a Lady, but not of Ahiru.
He knew her, and yet there was still so much he didn't know about her.
He wondered if she felt the same.
"Although I don't think it's a good idea to send an inexperienced sailor out on a three month fishing trip, a week or two out at sea to give them an idea of what it's like should be fine, and then slowly build up." She laughed. "I remember, my father hired this young boy from town who had no idea how to fish at all and his first trip was two and a half months, the poor boy came back greener than a-"
He liked listening to her talk, he would lay down beside her, and close his eyes; he would reach out his hand to touch her, his knuckles brushing her hand, her arm, her thigh, her back, or, on the days where her hair hung around her like a waterfall, he would twirl his fingers into it.
It was a relief, as if after weeks of keeping his hands to himself, the smallest touch would ignite his skin, and give him life.
"What was your father's name again?" He would ask, and she would give her answer, barely above a whisper and it made him wonder what had happened to her father, or if she just missed him after being away for so long with no promise that she would see him again.
He tried not to get jealous that she grew up with her father, that she knew him so well. It wasn't fair to her.
Sometimes Ahiru would get tired of sitting, she would stand and reach for his hand, and when he opened his eyes, looking up at her beaming face, her outstretched hand, he was breathless.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know!" Ahiru would laugh and shrug, and he was able to forget his pressing future.
The heavy weight that rested on his shoulders was taken away, and he was free.
Fakir forgot that he was young, he felt old, the responsibilities of an entire state on his shoulders, he had people he needed to take care of, he had a race to run, his life was on the line.
Ahiru tugged him along, no matter where they went, the forest parted for them, taking them to someplace new, a new wonder, something he didn't think was possible. What was worse was that he couldn't remember a single one, only the way Ahiru smiled when they came across it, her entire face lit up and it made his heart beat too fast.
Today, she held his hand, leading him down a new road, and they came out in a strange place.
The others where grand, a crystal lake that stretched for miles, a deep cavern filled with crystals that glowed in the dark, a wide meadow filled with white deer, but today they were taken down a slim path.
That lead out to a pond.
Fakir wasn't very impressed, but Ahiru gasped in delight and she fell to her knees, the tips of her fingers dipping into the water that glistened in the sunlight.
Her shoulders jumped and she pulled her hands back.
"What?" He asked, taking her hands into his to look at them, to see if the water was toxic or something worse.
But her fingers were perfect, soft and slim, he didn't understand her reaction.
"It's cold." She said, her voice a whisper.
Fakir smiled, and shook his head, he dipped his own hand in, and she was right, it felt like he had stuck his hand in an ice bath.
He looked at his hand, the oddest sensation overtaking his skin, it tingled and he could have sworn he had a burn on his pinkie.
"Hang on." He said, and Ahiru turned her head to look at him. Fakir stuck his entire hand in the water, and when he pulled back it was like his hand was new. The callouses that covered his palm were gone.
Ahiru took his hand in hers, she traced the lines of his palm, running up his fingers and thumb.
Fakir took out his dagger.
"What are you doing?" Ahriu asked, and gasped when he made a small cut on his palm. "Fakir-"
It was cold, and his palm tingled, mostly where the fresh cut was, but when he pulled away there wasn't even a scar.
"It's magic." She said, bringing his palm close to her face so as to further examine it. She leaned her head against his shoulder. "This is my favorite, I think."
"Favorite what?" He asked, trying in vain to push down the scarlet blush that rushed to his cheeks.
"My favorite spot the forest has shown us."
He scoffed, leaning back on his hands and she scooted closer to him, her knees pressing against his legs, her shoulder jabbing his ribs, her forehead resting in the crook of his neck. "Yesterday we saw a cavern with rocks that glowed, underground streams and rivers, and this is your favorite."
She nodded, humming her affirment. "It's quiet here."
He turned his head slightly, so that her head was tucked under his jaw. "I like to think the other places were, as well."
"They were, but there was just so much to take in." Her eyelashes fluttered against the exposed skin of his neck. "There's something nice about the simplicity of here."
She was right, he knew, there was something simple about this place, about the pond that lived in solitude, about the water that trickled in from a seemly creek. There wasn't much to it, and when you came from a place where with every lie came ten more to cover it up, it was relaxing.
It was plain.
It was something they needed.
"Ahiru?" He asked, the only sound that surrounded them was the water falling over rocks into the pool.
"Hmm?" She responded, he could feel it against his shoulder.
"Why don't you want to go back?"
He felt her stiffen, before she let out a sigh and softened.
"There's nothing left for me."
Fakir thought of her father, surely…
"Why did you do this?" He asked.
"Do what?"
Fakir reached for her hand, resting on her thigh, tapping at her fingers until she moved, and let him intertwine their fingers. "Why did you come here? Why would you pretend to be a princess? Do you know how dangerous that was?"
She curled in on herself, and consequently, on him. Her knees resting on his thigh, and she brought his hand to her stomach, but only because it was caught with hers. She started to fiddle with his fingers.
"If I didn't go, they would fall into financial ruin." She reasoned, but her voice was small.
"It's more than that." He said, pulling his hand away from hers, he placed it under her chin and lifted her head from its place on his shoulder so he could look into her eyes. He kept forgetting how blue they were. "That wasn't your responsibility. You know that."
Her eyes avoided his, and they landed on the crystalline water.
He ran his thumb over her cheek bone. "You can tell me."
Ahiru shook her head and smiled at him instead. "I know I can. I can tell you anything."
"But you won't tell me everything."
She pouted, and he wanted to run his thumb over her lips, to wipe it away.
"I- I can't." She shook her head, and put her head back in his neck. "Not yet."
He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close, she almost sat in his lap, he nodded. "Okay."
"But I don't have to go back?"
He let out an unsteady breath. "No, you don't, unless… You want to."
"No." She said, her hands fisting into his shirt. "No, I- I don't want to go back. I don't want to live there - or have to live there- ever again."
There was a pain in her heart that she was still grieving about, something he had yet to figure out. But he would in time.
Even if it took all her life to be ready to tell him, he would wait for her.
AHIRU HAD YET TO get in trouble for spending her afternoons in the forest with Fakir, although she was sure she would burst if she didn't tell someone soon, she wasn't good at keeping secrets.
Every morning Pique and Lillie came into her room and she would almost tell them, but they still thought she was a princess, and running around in the forest with the son of the local blacksmith wasn't a very princess-like thing to do.
She smiled politely instead while they gossiped.
She wanted to tell Rue, but everytime she saw her friend, she was with Mytho, her hand latched to his arm as they walked around the palace halls. Ahiru didn't want to interrupt them, but it didn't stop Rue and Mytho from noticing her, smiling and waving, inviting her on a walk.
Ahiru knew better, however, than to be a third wheel for a newly wed couple.
Miss. Edel came to her mind as well, Ahiru trusted her and saw her as a…
Well, Ahiru decided she wouldn't let herself grow attached to a mother figure, and as much as she loved Miss. Edel, she didn't feel like getting scorned again.
Ahiru penned it into her diary, instead.
Her diary was filled with everything, every emotion she had ever felt, every story she could remember about living in Arnis, all her heart breaks, all the happiness it had given her… and all the happiness it had taken away.
She appreciated that the diary came with a lock, she hides it well, but she was still filled with fear that someone would find it, that she would be found out. She put the key back in its place around her neck, in the red locket.
Ahiru looked out her window, it was an impossibly dreary day.
But not in the forest.
No, in the forest it would be bright and sunny and-
"Ahiru?" there was a knock at her door and she sighed.
She put the diary in the vanity drawer, she would store it more properly later.
She smiled politely at Edel when she opened the door, but it faded when she noticed the expression Edel wore.
"What's wrong?"
Miss. Edel sighed, she strode into the room and shut the door behind her. "You are, my dear."
"What?" Ahiru felt her heart quicken, she looked back at her vanity. Did someone find it? Would she have to leave?
Fakir said-
"The Bookmen are… concerned about how often you disappear."
"Oh." Ahiru sighed, she felt relieved, but there was something else.
"They don't…" Edel cleared her throat. "Based on how well Mytho and Rue get along, they're concerned about the happiness of their future King."
"Oh."
"So, starting tomorrow you'll have your lunches with Autor in private and-"
"What?"
Edel pushed on. "And then you will have a daily walk with him, around the gardens when the weather permits, and around the halls when it doesn't."
Ahiru swallowed hard and started shaking her head.
"Ahiru, I know-" Edel's eyebrows drew together, there was a look of sorrow that fell upon her face. "I know that you don't love him, but please, just for a little longer, and then-" Edel raised a hand and pet Ahiru's cheek.
"Miss. Edel, I don't want to lie anymore."
"I know." Edel nodded. "Just two weeks, and then the Königsspiel-"
"Will be run, I know." Ahiru closed her eyes and shook her head.
"CAN'T YOU RUN IT faster?"
She felt his chest rumble beneath her, she still didn't know how they had gotten here.
"No, unfortunately we can't."
Ahiru closed her eyes, her ear listening to his heart, his soothing breathing, his arm around her back, keeping her there, his hand twisting in her hair.
"So I have to have lunch with Autor?" She whined, she wondered if it was a good idea, to bring that blanket and then lay down next to him like she did.
"I thought you were starting to like him." He said, his breathe ruffling her hair, and she climbed higher until her head was under his chin.
Maybe it wasn't the best idea to turn onto her side to talk to him, letting him thread his arm around her waist, or placing her hand on his torso and picking at his shirt.
She sighed. Her lips twisting, "He's still not nice. I mean, every once in a while he's okay, but most of the time he has a stick up his butt."
Fakir's chest rumbled again, and his hand moved, pulling the hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear, although she liked to think it was because he wanted to touch her skin.
"It'll be two hours a day, at most." He reasoned, and it was sound reasoning, it was such a short amount of time, practically nothing, but she knew it would drag on.
"Can't we stay here?" She moaned, her hand clawing at his chest.
He raised his hand and covered hers. "If we stay here, people will get mad. Or they'll think we're dead."
"Would that be so bad?"
He sighed. "It is when you have responsibility."
"Sorry about that." She said, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, she didn't care what he said, she would stay there for as long as she wanted.
"About what?"
"You have to be King one day, and run everything."
"Don't be sorry about that, idiot, I chose it."
Ahiru was starting to think it was a good idea that she brought her blanket to spread out in the tree stump meadow, the sun was bright, but it was setting, the trees casting shadows over their closed eyes.
"Ahiru."
"Hmm."
He shook her shoulders and she sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "We fell asleep."
"Mmhmm." She held her chin in her hand before she realized what he said. She gasped sharply and jumped up to her feet, but her toe caught the edge of her skirt and she fell, landing on his lap.
He grunted, but caught her nonetheless. "Idiot, be careful."
"What time is it?" She slapped a hand to her forehead and gave him a worried look.
Fakir looked up at the sky, a few scattered stars. "I can't see the moon, and it's not too dark so it's probably not that late."
Ahiru moaned and ran her hands over her face, but gasped again when she realized she was still sitting on Fakir.
She jumped off of him, and covered her mouth, almost unable to look at him, but she did, out of the corner of her eye, she watched him stand and pick up the blanket, folding it over his arm before he offered her his hand.
"Come on." he said softly, "We have to get you back."
Ahiru nodded, and she didn't let go of his hand when they stepped out of the forest, she didn't let go when they entered the city, she didn't even let go when they stepped past the palace wall.
"Ahiru!" Her name was shouted and she saw too many people running towards her. "Someone go get Edel!"
Fakir was pushed away from her, and she was ushered towards the castle, and she couldn't help but look over her shoulder, look back at him as he stood there watching her disappear in the cloud of servants and guards that surrounded her.
She was in trouble now, but…
She would get in trouble a hundred times over if it meant she could spend even just a second more with Fakir.
SHE SAT AWKWARDLY AT the table, it was such a small room, some kind of sun room, and it would have been lovely if the clouds didn't block the sun.
She blinked at the display in front of her, it was a modest lunch, one she had before, it was one of her favorites, and the glass of wine in front of her was one she favored, and not the kind she wrinkled her nose at.
Not to mention the freshly baked bread that was sitting in front of her, butter just waiting to be spread over it.
Her eyes slowly rolled up, past the simple florals that sat in a crystal vase in the center of the table, past his plate of food and his goblet to wine, to his eyes, which, likewise, was kept on his food rather than her.
Her eyes shot back down to her plate, she held her hands under the table and started twiddling her thumbs.
Ahiru heard the near silent clatter as he picked up his fork and she let her gaze slip back up the table and watched him take the first bite.
She sighed in relief and started to eat as well, she was getting better at taking smaller bites, at chewing slowly, at not talking with her mouth full.
It was easier to be polite when someone was judging your every movement.
She wondered just how many people were watching.
Ahiru chewed on her lip, did they know?
Did the Bookmen really want her to spend time with Autor, in hopes that they would fall in love?
Or did they know where she went…
And who she went with.
"Don't chew your lip." Autor scolded, before sighing. "I know you don't want to do this either, but it doesn't have to be horrible."
Ahiru did her best to keep her jaw from falling into her plate. Was Autor suggesting they be civil?
He cleared his throat, shifted in his seat before taking a sip of the wine. "I just mean, this is going to take a lot of time from both of our schedules. There's no reason we can't gain something from it. After all… This may be what our afternoons look like for the rest of our lives."
Ahiru swallowed, and nodded. "Well, I- I think that would be a good idea."
"Good." Autor straightened before he gave her a curt nod, he picked up his fork and started eating again. "So what do you like best about Bavaria?"
Ahiru stopped her fork, hovering an inch from her mouth. "Oh, um." She placed her fork on her plate. There was a lot she liked about Bavaria, it was just a matter of what was safe to say. "The people." Ahiru smiled, yes that was a good answer the future Queen could give. "I think the people are wonderful here."
"Hmm, I haven't really…"
"It's okay, Autor." Ahiru sent him a placeted smile, she stretched out her hand on the table, but stopped herself, it was stupid. Besides, the table was too long. She curled her fingers against her palm and set it back in her lap. "Some people just don't like other people."
"Why would you say it like that?"
Ahiru blinked owlishly. "How else would I say it?"
Autor groaned and muttered something under his breath. "Nevermind. You know I prefer books over the company of others."
"Oh what about-?" Ahiru screwed her eyes shut, and stuck out her tongue trying to remember that young man's name. "Femio! What about Femio?"
Autor cast his eyes back to his plate. "Femio is… a friend."
Ahiru giggled. "It's okay to have friends."
"I know that!"
Ahiru shrugged, she picked up her abandoned fork.
Autor went on about Femio, what their relationship was exactly. Apparently they had met a few years ago, a young French man with the most exquisite designs for suits and dresses.
"I think Drosselmeyer wanted him for himself, but," Autor shrugged. "I became friends with him instead.
"And you wouldn't expect it, Femio being so boisterous and I being so-"
"Boring?"
He glared at her, and she giggled behind her hand.
"Fine, I being so 'boring'." He rolled his eyes. "He's exciting."
Ahiru nodded. "He is, I've only met him once, but he said he was making my wedding dress so I hope I'll get to meet him again."
"And your dress for the ball."
"The ball?"
Autor sighed. "Yes, the Mask?"
Ahiru gave him a look as if to say she was clueless.
"We have a masquerade ball every year for the Winter Solstice."
Ahiru gasped and clapped her hands together. "I've never been to a masquerade ball before! What's it like?"
Autor shrugged. "It's like a ball except you wear a mask on your face."
The plates were cleared, even if Ahiru would have preferred to finish, and they were whisked away to a walk in the garden, it was overcast, but the ground was dry, enough to walk on it safely.
Ahiru held her hand in the bend of his elbow and they walked at a steady pace, and it would have been fine, almost peaceful, if they were allowed to walk by themselves.
Ahiru kept looking over her shoulder at Miss. Edel, Uzura's hand tucked in hers, at the handful of Bookmen that shuffled along, the hoods of their cloaks casting shadows over their faces, the pack of servants, including Pique and Lillie all followed them a few yards away.
But Ahiru could feel their breath on her neck, and her grasp on his arm became tighter, only when she went to whisper in her ear, she blushed when she found Autor instead of Fakir.
She had forgotten.
Ahiru could hear Autor talking to her, talking about a book he had picked up, and she nodded, whispering words of agreement every once in a while, but her eyes scanned the palace grounds, the gates and the walls, looking for Fakir, wondering if he was waiting for her.
Just a little longer, and then they could go to the forest, then she could tell him about their awkward conversation and laugh it away.
Somehow, they were lead back to the castle, and once they entered, the Bookmen, the servants, and Edel had disappeared.
Apparently, they were done for the day.
"That… wasn't so bad." Autor said.
"No, I guess it wasn't." Ahiru slipped her hand out from around his arm and held her hands behind her back. "I suppose you want to get back to your book?"
Autor nodded. "Yes, I suppose I do. I'll see you at dinner."
Ahiru smiled and waved, before sighing in relief.
She looked down both hallways, she looked behind her, outside in the gardens, and once the coast was clear, she picked up her skirt and ran.
She couldn't stop the giggling that toppled over her lips, she could feel the carefully pinned hair starting to fall loose, but she didn't care.
She only cared about returning to the forest with Fakir.
He was easy to find, working at the Blacksmith's shop, and he smirked at her. "Can I help you with anything, your Grace?"
Ahiru giggled. "Yes, you can." She held out her hand for him to take. "I lost something, can you help me find it?"
He placed his hand in hers, and the laughter bubbled over as she pulled him away from his work, forcing him to run and chase after her as she lead him to the forest.
Almost there, she thought to herself, the trees becoming more detailed, the green blobs becoming needles and fronds, the brown becoming trunks, their bark rougher. Her feet parting the grass, now only padded on dirt ground.
She only stopped running when they deep enough in the woods that no matter which way she turned she only saw forest.
She panted, it stifled her giggles, and she felt her heart racing. She reached back behind her, until her fingers brushed against bark, and took advantage of nature; she leaned against it.
Fakir shook his head, stepping closer to her. "You didn't have to run here, it wasn't going to disappear."
"If I run-" She took a deep breath. "I get places faster."
"Were you so desperate then? To be alone."
"To be alone with you."
Ahiru closed her eyes, a gentle breeze cooling her, she heard him step forward, and could feel his warmth.
"Was Autor so bad?"
She shook her head. "No, it was everyone else."
"Everyone else?" She felt a hand on her temple, he brushed her hair behind her ear.
"Mmhmm." She pressed into his touch, wanting him to touch more of her. "They walked right behind us and I'm sure someone was listening at lunch. The whole time I just…"
"Just what?" He asked, his hand finally traveling down over her cheek.
"I just wanted it to be you." She leaned into his touch, forcing his hand to flatten and cup her cheek. "To be having lunch with you, to be walking with you. There was a moment…" Ahiru lifted her hand and rested it on his wrist. "I forgot who I was with, and I went to whisper in your ear, but it wasn't you." She pouted, and she felt his thumb on her lip, as if he was trying to wipe it away.
"I'm sorry."
She felt his other hand on her neck, the tips of his fingers skimming over where her shoulder and neck met.
"Why?"
"There's nothing I can do to stop it."
Ahiru stopped holding her head, trusting that Fakir would take her weight for her, and nuzzled into his hand. "It's only a few more weeks. I can survive."
Ahiru started moving her hand up and down his forearm, tensed now that he was holding up her head. He was strong.
"You shouldn't have to." His voice had lowered to a whisper, and he was closer now, she could tell, one more step and she would be flush against him. Her hand was on his shoulder now, and she shivered when her fingers no longer touched fabric, but his skin, smooth and warm under her.
"I can do it."
"I know you can."
She felt him shake his head, her fingers ghosting over his jaw and up his cheek.
The hand at her neck slipped down her arm, to her elbow, and he was gentle as he held her there, his hands soft, they caressed her.
"I wish Autor didn't have to put up with this either." Ahiru smiled. "He just wants to read books."
"He will."
Ahiru sighed, her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at Fakir, he was much closer than she thought, she could barely see anything but his eyes.
Ahiru thought she knew what Fakir looked like, but she had never been this close to him before.
His eyes were pale green, like before, surrounded in stubby lashes, under thick eyebrows. Her hand shot up to his eyebrows and she brushed them with her thumb.
"You have a freckle, too."
"What?"
Ahiru smiled. "Right here." She swiped her thumb against the sole freckle he possessed on his cheek. "Look, I have one right there too."
His hand left her face and he grabbed her wrist, crushing her hand to his face, his cheek, but not for long.
She watched him press his lips against her palm, she could feel his lips press against her palm, the gentle fingers he had wrapped around her wrist, she felt his gentle breathing on her thumb. He moved his head back so her hand only touched his cheek.
Ahiru could feel the heat rising, the blood just under her skin, making her cheeks redder than apples, but she couldn't resist as she lifted her other hand and pressed it to his face, sliding it down until her palm was on his lips.
His hand left her elbow to hold on to her wrist and he kissed her other palm.
It was when he opened his eyes, to look at her, a heated, meaningful gaze, and forced her to pull away, that sent her heart racing.
She pressed her hands to the bark behind her and did her best to hide her blush.
"I-I-" She stuttered, although she wasn't sure what she wanted to say.
"Ahiru, I-" Fakir cut himself off, the back of his hand brushing against her jaw nonetheless. "You should know that I-" Fakir cleared his throat and she watched in wonderment as he started to blush, too.
She began to giggle, covering her mouth with her hands, suddenly unable to stop.
"What?"
"No-!" She took a deep breath but it didn't stop. "You're-"
A smirk rose on his lips. "What?"
She shook her head, struggling to push down her snickers. "I can't!"
His hands were at her waist and she simply wasn't prepared when his fingers started to move against her sides.
"Fakir!" She gasped, but now she was truly breathless.
"Tell me." He said, but his hands didn't stop.
She pushed at his chest, "Stop! Stop it!" Laughing uncontrollably.
Ahiru gave him a great heave and was able to escape from his grasp and started running, but when she looked over her shoulder, she squealed when she realized he was chasing after her.
Ahiru ran as fast as she could, for as long as she could, but she had already ran to the forest, and her laughing was stealing half her breath.
She stopped and turned to tell Fakir she gave up, but he crashed into her instead and they toppled to the ground.
"Ahiru, are you alright?" His hands went behind her head, checking for bumps of any kind, but stopped when her hand touched his face.
Her chest heaved, and her laughing had subsided into a beaming grin. "You're like me." She said.
His smile faded and he studied her face. "How so?"
She moved her hand to the back of his neck, twisting her fingers into his hair, loosening the tie that kept it all together. She sat up, and he sat back, still staring at her.
"Flustered." She said over pants. "And red." She grinned. "Really red."
He chuckled. "You got really red."
She touched her cheek. "Am I still red?"
Fakir nodded, he knocked his forehead to hers and kept it there. "You're a bit pink now."
Ahiru brushed the tip of her nose to his. "Normally I'm pink, aren't I?"
"No, normally… Normally you're like cream, the apples of your cheeks red, and your lips are pink."
Ahiru shook her head. "It's make-up. Powder and paint."
"You touch your face too often." He put a hand on her cheek. "It all gets rubbed away. I know what you look like."
"Even my freckles?"
Fakir chuckled again, he nodded. "Especially your freckles."
She didn't know how long they stayed like that, or when they had lied down, or when he took her hand in his.
Ahiru giggled and pressed her face into her hands, shaking her head.
She couldn't sleep. She simply couldn't.
No matter how hard she tried, she could only think about Fakir.
About the forest, about his hand in hers, or on her cheek, or her hand on his lips.
She sat at her vanity, wearing only her nightgown, her hair down and long, she ran a brush through, using it as an excuse for why she was up so late.
She sighed contentedly, but when she rested her elbow on the tabletop, and then her chin in her hand, closing her eyes there was a rush of guilt.
She wasn't here to…
To run off into the forest with Fakir, she was here because…
Because of a lot of things.
Ahiru put her hairbrush down, it was late, and she could feel her eyelids trying to close.
She tried to tell herself it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her fault that she got hurt, or that she couldn't control the weather.
It wasn't her fault that her state was becoming poorer and poorer.
It wasn't her fault that her father was a fisherman.
It wasn't her fault that she came here expecting to marry someone, only to be passed off to his brother, and now she was supposed to be Queen, only she…
Ahiru pulled the blanket over herself, pulling it up until only her eyes were left uncovered. She squeezed her pillow to her chest.
It wasn't her fault.
Ahiru closed her eyes, it wasn't her fault, and tomorrow she would go to the forest and Fakir would tell her it wasn't her fault, and he would tell her…
She wasn't sure what he would tell her, but maybe that was a good thing, it was a surprise, and Fakir would continue to surprise her.
He would continue to give her the right answer, and make her feel better.
Ahiru screwed her eyes shut, she pushed away the past, and tried to think of what tomorrow would bring. Of the forced lunches and walks, but also of sunny meadows, and secret touches.
She could feel herself falling.