Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, nor am I affiliated with Toei animations. All characters and ideas are property of Toei and Akira Toriyama. Thank you.

A/U: Welcome back to... DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! Will Gohan land the cougar of his dreams? Does he even dream of cougars? Do I mean cougar as in the several hundred year old Zangya?! Or Nidalee?! The world may NEVER KNOW...

I'm fucking wierd as hell, enjoy the chapter! XD

(Oh and thanks for reading! :D)

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Chapter 2

"God can I get a break? HURRY UP!" she honked her horn repeatedly along with the rest of the crowd of cars. "I'm gonna be late!" she said, throwing her head back and giving an exaggerated groan of frustration. As she did so she caught a look of herself in the mirror, her orange curls falling over her white skin and sharp eyes. "AND I forgot to fix my hair!" Just another frustration to her morning.

Without thinking too much about it, she swiftly tied her hair back, leaving a strand of hair loose from the right corner of her hairline. She blew at it, watching it swirl in the wind of her breath before it settled back down gently on the side of her cheek.

"Whatever."

Satisfied that traffic was finally moving she stepped on the gas and cruised quietly to her workplace. Not a word was said as she drove, she simply took in the view of the city, watching tall buildings loom over head and other drivers in their vehicle capsules pass by. A little girl chased her friend down the sidewalk as he laughed, a man looked at his watch, tapping his foot as he waited outside of a corporate building. She smiled as a young boy stared up at a sign for for a martial arts school.

Satan City Dojo.

She was used to fake people and having to deal with them. In fact it was an everyday thing, as she was a security guard and had to constantly keep overly-friendly people in check. She pulled herself out of thought upon arriving to her duty area.

"Its Ms. Saido," she said to the intercom.

"Ah! Ms. Saido! Right on the nick of time! I thought you were gonna be late again! Haha!" Ms. Saido rolled her eyes and continued driving as the gate opened to the mansion she worked at.

Out of all the fake people she had ever met in her life, even her adoptive father, the worst she knew of was the very man she now worked for. "God, this man..." she said as she walked up to the Satan Mansion. The trimmed shrubbery, the cut grass, the sign that very clearly stated "SATAN" at the top story of the mansion, the very MANSION itself. He didn't deserve any of this. Even with her heart where it was, as she wasn't exactly the nicest person, she herself at least had the decency to accept responsibility for her own and actions, and to acknowledge when she actually deserved what was given to her.

Speaking on what was given to her, on more than one occasion, the man himself, Mr. Satan, had invited her down to drink a little and have small talk.

Well, she drank a little. He practically chugged sake and whiskey like it was water.

Depending on how rough her shift was that day, she'd accept his invite. "Free drinks are free drinks," she would say, and would happily shoot a shot of whiskey down her throat. But that was all, she made sure to stay sober to drive home despite being offered more. Because of this, she always remembered their conversations, whereas he did not. He never remembered anything he told her, and sometimes she was surprised he even remembered her face after drinking so heavily. But one night was particularly bad, he was drinking far more than usual before he began talking.

"You know, I don't think I've... told uhh..." he belched, "excuse me. Mmmmm listen. You know how everyone... like... heh... thinks I defeated Cell?"

"Ah yes. Let me guess, you didn't huh?"

"Wha-whaaat... how do you... oh whatever, the point is I didn't. In fact you wouldn't believe who DID!"

She slowly thought to herself believing she already knew the answer. "It was probably Goku huh?" she asked. Everyone who did the research knew of the legendary Goku and how he had saved the world on numerous occasions. "He's saved the Earth multiple times hasn't he?" she chuckled.

"No, it was the delivery boy in the film."

Her eyes widened suddenly, her muscles twitched under her guard uniform, and her back tightened. Gohan.

"Oh wow," she said, feigning ignorance, "So a little boy defeated Cell?"

"YEAH!" he exclaimed, "but he did it with these weird... light tricks!"

Yeah. Light Tricks.

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She had just finished her shift for the day, being replaced by the next guard who was a big burly man. He was massive, a giant really. Yet what struck her as odd was that he was one of the nicest people she had ever met. "You're like a teddy bear." she would tell him with a straight face, and as usual he would counter "You're mean Agana! But hey, I think you're one of the most gorgeous women I've ever met!"

It was followed by a wink. Disgusting. And kinda cute, but she would never admit that.

"Whatever, I told you not to call me by my first name!" She smiled though, "have a good shift, don't let things get destroyed while I'm gone."

"YES MA'AM," he said, saluting so hard she thought he would chop the top of his head off.

She allowed herself to chuckle, "Mr. Ware?"

He paused suddenly, going a little wide eyed at the fact that she would even address him, before he narrowed them again and a goofy smile spread across his face "You finally asking me out on a da-"

"You're retarded," she said now laughing as she walked away.

"HEY! I'm not retarded! Well maybe a little... but you can't just say that!"

"It's true!"

Mr. Ware had the largest smile she had seen in a while, "Ms. Saido, have a good rest of your day."

"Thanks you to-"

"And don't be late!"

She rolled her eyes, waving and not bothering to look back. She popped her vehicle capsule, jumped in, and drove away without so much as a glance back. He smiled after her, longing to see her again. 'Mr. Satan, I'm getting her before you do... that's for sure.'

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About halfway to her apartment, she had decided to walk the rest of the way instead. 'I've been getting a little lazy lately,' she thought, and began heading home by foot. Not caring that people saw her in uniform. What she didn't realize was the reason she was being looked at. With her locks of curly orange hair falling over her back, and the way the uniform hugged over her curves, she might as well have been a super model playing dress up in the middle of the city. Experienced as she was with human interaction, being social wasn't one of her strong suits. It was obvious to see when someone was lying to her or had obvious ill intentions, but when it came to her own image and how she came off to people, she was bit more than ignorant.

However even if she knew this time, she still wouldn't have cared. She enjoyed the gentle breeze blowing past her face and through her hair. The soft sound of capsule vehicles whizzing by, and the crunch of rubber on worn pavement from the one's who drove standard cars. Laughter filled the air as kids and high schoolers were released from school, shop owners outside shouting out and advertising their business, explosions in the background, gun shots...

"Wait what?" She suddenly whirled around, turning towards the source of the noise before seeing a man in the most ridiculous costume she had ever seen fly overhead and towards a plume of smoke that towered and rose from the city bank.

'Ah. The Saiyadork.'

She stood still for a while as she realized what was happening. "Oh god. I need to change banks," she said, and with that she took off, sprinting towards the commotion for the sake of keeping her money safe. And the people of course.

"Ma'am are you a cop?" asked a nearby police officer at the scene.

"No, I'm a security guard but I'm familiar with crowd control," she explained.

"Good we could really use some help, could you escort the civilians out of here? There are hostages and we want to limit the number of casualties as much as possible. It'll be easier if there aren't any people around that these bastards can grab a hold of. It'll only make the situation worse."

"Of course officer I can handle that," and with that she began working on escorting civilians out of the way, rushing them out as fast as she could so she could go in and take care of the criminals herself. "Excuse me young man I need you to leave the area, it's dangerous," she said to a particularly skinny looking boy. He was wearing a black Orange High vest on a white oversized shirt and baggy orange pants that somehow didn't get caught beneath his shoes. He simply stood there looking at her for a brief moment, before looking down at the name tag over her left breast pocket. She rolled her eyes, "Look I know you're hormonal high school kid but please stop looking at my chest and leave the area."

"Oh! Right! I'm sorry Miss... Saido, I'll leave right away." His face suddenly reddened and his eyes widened, "Oh and no! You have it all wrong! I-I was just looking at your name tag! I wasn't uhh... hehe!" He said, reaching up and scratching the back of his black spiky haired head. "But ma'am, I think the situation's already been taken care of, look."

She looked over to see that he indeed was correct on his assumption. The hostages were being escorted out of the bank by police officers and even Mr. Satan's daughter Videl. Some were crying from the experience as others laughed it off, trying to act tough. She looked back at the boy before realizing he was gone, and nowhere in sight.

"Eh? He was just..." she stood there, the bank was saved, everyone was back to normal, and the kid disappeared without her even noticing. Actually, the fact that anyone could get away without her knowing was baffling, it just didn't happen, as she was always able to tell where people were and their intentions. It was as simple as reading a book. ACTUALLY, how in the hell did the bank robbers get thwarted so fast? Even with Saiyaman arriving at the scene... "Weird, I'm probably just tired."

After finding out that the money was fine, and yes, the hostages, she exchanged words with the police before heading back home. It had been a good day up until the end, but she was relieved her financial status wouldn't be ruined over this. The clang of rubber sole tapping on metal sounded through her ears like a bell. A slow repetitive song that she welcomed, as it told her she was finally home. Upon opening the door to her apartment, she immediately started stripping down, throwing the clothes down on the floor as she walked to the bathroom.

'I'll pick it up later, I just need a shower.'

As the water poured over her, she mulled over the kid she saw at the crime scene. 'Observant little fucker wasn't he... he seemed unusually calm for someone right outside of shootout. Maybe he's just had a rough upbringing? Nah, he seemed way too innocent for that. I doubt he's even touched a girl in his life with the way he could barely speak to me. Or maybe... huh. I don't know. WAIT how did he escape from me without my knowing?'

She stepped out of the bath and realized her skin was tingling slightly.

"Oh shit I almost forgot," she said as she looked into the mirror.

Her curves were dangerous, and she didn't even know. She had never been one to view herself as the romantic or sensual type, however that didn't stop her from being naturally seductive. Whether it be on purpose was up to her, but often it was just unintentional. She didn't want a man, they were all too weak, and she doubted they could handle her in the erm... sheets.

She paused thinking about that, then frowned. Then the irritation hit her.

"I'm fucking lonely! Ha!" she laughed, before facing herself in the mirror again. She forced herself to relax, bringing a small smile back to her face as the skin underneath her wet matted hair slowly turned from a light peach color to a light blue green. She instantly felt better, as her ki reverted back to normal and her skin no longer felt hot. Super heating the thin layer of air above her skin to change its color was not an easy task, and was a trick that took her years to get a hold of. But it was the only way to survive in this world without being recognized for the destruction she sought to redeem herself for. This world was beautiful, and the fact that she ever wanted to destroy it ate at her conscious. She had come to call this place home. It wasn't a great lifestyle she had at the moment, but that didn't matter.

Here, she was free to roam high above the clouds without fear of being shot out of the sky by a challenging Hera, or to go out to the deserts and obliterate sand dunes when frustrated. She never had to worry about aliens, gods, end of the world threats, or worse like the way she used to, and there was still so much she wanted to do here.

Right now though, she just wanted to sleep. Maybe eat first, but definitely sleep.

Finally her face no longer itched and her appearance had returned to normal, a full blooded Hera, a proud mighty warrior. She was in her own skin now.

"Mmmm," she moaned stretching her arms up, "that feels good."