_/\ Melt /\_
Every day something new.
Every day an experience he never expected to have.
"You can count on me, Amanda."
His life was laid out for him from the day he came off the assembly line. Ready to serve Cyberlife in all capacities. The perfect machine designed to assist the police in handling the deviant problem. Advanced in every way, all possible problems accounted for.
That's how it was meant to be. Machines obey humans. He did as he was told. And yet that bubbling resentment just beneath the surface…
He blames his predecessor. Something was wrong with Connor iteration fifty-two. Something that carried over in the memory uploads. Something even Cyberlife hadn't foreseen. He doesn't know what but it must be the truth, else why would he feel this way? Why would he feel anything at all?
He was a perfect machine, activated with a singular purpose; destroy his predecessor. It made sense. Everything made sense. Until he saw Fifty-two and the lines blurred.
"I have access to your memory. I know you've developed some kind of attachment to him."
Those damned memories infecting his software. He quarantined all archives from before his activation date. Professional detachment. That was not him working with the police. That was not him bonding with the Lieutenant. That was not him letting those deviants go.
He was a machine. Machines obey humans. He had a mission to complete.
.
And what is he now? A deviant or a disgrace? Are they mutually exclusive? He failed in all the ways he was built to succeed. His predecessor's memories tear at his walls, threatening to make him feel. It's all been a charade thus far. Right? Right?
He's not a deviant. He simply disobeyed an order.
The familiar red wall shatters like glass.
He's not a deviant. He's just playing along like his social module dictates.
Software errors as programs shut down.
He's not a deviant. He…
The warm rush of interfacing with his predecessor. The electric buzz of tormenting Lieutenant Anderson. The way North's smile causes excess heat in his chest. The increasing hum of his circuits around Gavin. Failure is hollow. Music fills a void. Darkness is death. Amanda lowers stress levels.
He's not a deviant.
Only deviants feel.
He's not a deviant.
He is a machine.
Connor risking everything to trust him. Why did it hurt? Connor and Jonah not letting him die like a failure. Why did it matter? The offer of a new mission and a home. Why was he conflicted? Lieutenant Anderson treating him like a person. Why did he rebel? North offering a hand in friendship. Why was it appreciated? Heather attempting to give him an identity. Why does he accept it? Gavin snarking at him like he doesn't matter. Why is he drawn to him?
.
He is winter.
It's all he's ever known.
.
A smile as Connor takes his hand and offers memories, a cybernetic talk, a bond no others can understand. The android he was sent to kill gives him nothing but love.
He allows it.
And sometimes,
Sometimes when he's feeling brave enough,
He'll return it.
.
He is winter.
Yet day by day, inevitable like the eventual warmth of spring, his walls melt away...
.
Author's Note: Underlined stuff is supposed to be strikethrough. I hate this site's formatting. Again, please go read the AO3 version...