The following week found Anna wondering where she could have scared her mysterious friend off to. She hadn't seen FS on for over a week and she couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with her request for FS to befriend her sister.
The ringing of the bell that signaled the beginning of the first period interrupted her thoughts. She cursed under her breath and ran the rest of the distance to her first class.
Ms. Corona had just started taking attendance when Anna burst in, panting. "I'm… sorry…" she managed between breaths.
The slender English teacher just smiled. "It's fine, Anna. Take your seat. I have your essays marked, and I must say they were all a pleasure to read. This one wasn't for your transcripts; I just wanted you to get used to the pressure of writing a coherent essay under a time limit. I've written comments on how to improve in the margins and at the end, so be sure to take a moment to go over those."
After finishing attendance, she handed back the papers. When Anna got hers, she was surprised at what was written on the back. Please come see me after class.
Oh-kay. She hoped she wasn't in trouble. That was the last thing she needed right now, on top of a nonchalant mother and a high-strung sister.
The end of class came all too slowly. Her hands were clammy and sweaty from imagining all the different reasons about why Ms. Corona would want to speak with her.
Telling her friends to go on without her, she slowly approached the teacher's desk. "Ms. Corona? Am I in trouble?"
The kind teacher looked at her in surprise. "No, of course not, why would you think were in trouble, dear?"
"Oh. Well, it's just, you know, I have a knack for getting in trouble, so I get in trouble all the time, wait that's what I just said, umm, I'm just gonna stop talking now," she said, cheeks turning red from the rambling. "You wanted to see me?"
The teacher only smiled. "Yes, actually. I found it a little curious, your essay. You wrote about your sister."
"Yes… is that weird? I'm sorry if I weirded you out. I do that a lot. There was this one time I was supposed to write about my favorite fruit but I ended up writing about how chocolate should be a fruit instead," she had to clasp a hand over her mouth to stop the word vomit.
That elicited a small laugh from Corona. "I'm sure you wrote it just as well as you wrote this one. Now, if my assumptions are correct, your older sister is Elsa?"
Anna's eyes widened. "How did you know? Was it that obvious?"
Amused, Corona reached into her drawer and pulled out a couple of stapled pages. To Anna's surprise, the writing was reminiscent of Elsa's graceful penmanship.
"It really is a coincidence, but Elsa got the same essay topic as you when she was in my class two years ago."
Anna's eyes only widened. Curious, she inquired, "Whom did she write about?"
"That's the thing. It's really surprising, but, not only did you two get the same topic, you wrote about the same thing: each other."
"She wrote about me as her hero? No way!"
"I don't know why you find that so hard to believe, but I'm starting to see the truth in the words of Elsa's essay now. It's rare to find someone who regards their younger sibling as their hero. But now that I've met you, it's very believable."
Anna nodded. She always thought their father was Elsa's role model; they had spent so much time together. "Can I… do you think I can read it?" she blurted.
"Well, technically it's my property now, since Elsa said she didn't want it back when I told her there was nothing she needed to improve. You can have it. It was a very endearing coincidence," the teacher answered.
Cradling the papers in her arms, Anna thanked her teacher and skipped to her next class, eager to read each word carefully when she got home.
Anna stared in awe at what her sister wrote about her. It was like she was reading about someone completely different. Did her sister really see her that way? 'Like a shining ray of light'?
And her last words: I consider myself very blessed every day to have such a wonderful little sister.
She couldn't believe her eyes. Elsa certainly did an amazing job of hiding whatever she thought of me. For all these years, I've thought that I've always been a bother to her and mother. Sometimes I think she wishes that I wasn't born at all.
She thought back to her dissection of Elsa's expression of fear and longing a week ago. Could she actually want to talk to me at school? Could she actually want to spend time with me? Did she not mean what she said?
Then what was she so afraid of?
Unfortunately for Anna, she didn't have a chance to ask her sister when she suddenly realized she had a math unit test the following day, and being Anna, having not studied at all. Burying herself in her textbook with newfound confidence, she got to studying, fueled by determination to make Elsa proud.
Elsa slumped in her seat with her head on the desk, arms slung carelessly across the polished wood. Anna had raced past her room when she got home, completely skipping her daily routine of recounting the day's events. As much as Elsa hated to admit it, those were the few moments of bliss she actually looked forward to in her day.
But not today. Depressed, she buried her head in the nest of her arms and wondered to herself what she had done, again, to offend her sister.
Laughing scornfully at the irony, she berated herself for feeling so hollow just because Anna hadn't talked to her door today.
After all, solitude was what she wanted, wasn't it?
She loathed herself. What she was doing was completely unfair to her younger sister. She pushed Anna away when all the younger girl was trying to do was understand her. Now that Anna was gone, she was praying, practically begging, for her to come back. She hadn't realized just how much she depended on her sister's voice to help her get through the rest of the day.
When it came down to it, she was a pathetic coward. Stoically pretending that what she was doing was for Anna's benefit only, and yet when she succeeded she couldn't be happy for her sister; all she wanted was to hear Anna cheerfully recounting her adventures in class.
It was so unfair. Unfair of her to want this of Anna. Unfair to treat Anna this way. Unfair, unfair, unfair, the little girl in her head screamed. Why can't we be like normal sisters, laughing about the teachers, stealing each other's toys, protecting each other from harm without needed any sort of mask or façade?
She knew why.
All she ever wanted to was to do the right thing for Anna. Why was that so much to ask? Why was she so miserable?
Maybe you're not doing the right thing.
One thing was for certain: she wanted to hear Anna's voice.
The beeping of her computer disturbed Anna's concentration. Looking up, she saw that her mysterious friend had finally logged onto Skype. Seizing the chance, she greeted her.
Snowflake: heyy!
Frozen Storm: Hi! How are you?
Snowflake: im fine, studying for math
Frozen Storm: Oh, I see. Finally decided to be a good student, huh?
Snowflake: ex-cuuuse me. i am a great student thank u very much
Frozen Storm: Sorry about suddenly leaving you hanging the other day…
Snowflake: oh yeah whats with that?
Frozen Storm: An emergency came up.
Snowflake: for a whole week?
Frozen Storm: Yes.
Snowflake: well ok wat happened?
Frozen Storm: I'm not at liberty to say, sorry. But you asked me to 'watch over' your sister. I'm going to have to decline.
Snowflake: wat? y?
Frozen Storm: Well… your sister doesn't seem like someone who needs taking care of. She seems to want to be alone.
Anna frowned.
Snowflake: no one actually wants to be alone
Frozen Storm: Well, I suppose you know her better than me.
Snowflake: so ull do it?
Frozen Storm: Sorry.
Snowflake: i thot we were frds.
Frozen Storm: We are. You and me.
Snowflake: ur just like everyone else! how can u judge my sister without even knowing her!
Frozen Storm: Well, she seems to shut you, her sister, out as well and you're not getting anywhere with her, right? How can anyone else hope to?
The statement felt like a slap in the face. Anna's cheeks burned as FS's words sunk in. The truth of it stung her like a needle. But she had been trying so hard. Enduring endless humiliation while shamelessly sitting outside Elsa's room, talking to her door of all things, every day. All the maids who passed by the room probably judged her and thought she was crazy. Even their own mother probably thought she was crazy.
She thought Elsa probably wasn't even listening anyway, likely just getting more and more annoyed as she rambled on about useless things. She could already feel the tears coming on. The same ones that sprung from her eyes after talking to Elsa's door and failed to elicit a response of any kind. She felt so pathetic. If she knew Elsa better, if she were a better sister, a smarter sister, someone both her mother and Elsa could be proud of, maybe her sister would come out and talk to her. Maybe Elsa would even want to talk to her. Despite having read Elsa's essay, the terrible thoughts continued to haunt her.
Snowflake: but i try! i talk to her everyday. well her door
*i dont kno wat else to do
*and then she doesnt respond and i feel like im so pathetic
*i spend more of my time crying than anything else these days
*u think its my fault? that she wont talk to me
*maybe because im so stupid that she lost faith in anyone else being able to match her
There was a long pause as she waited for her friend's reply.
Frozen Storm: It's not your fault.
Snowflake: how do u kno?
But she was already gone.
Snowflake: no one actually wants to be alone
Elsa gaped at her computer screen and stared, astounded at how, in only a few words, her sister could sum up everything her heart was shouting.
Frozen Storm: Well, I suppose you know her better than me.
Snowflake: so ull do it?
Frozen Storm: Sorry.
Snowflake: i thot we were frds.
Frozen Storm: We are. You and me.
Snowflake: ur just like everyone else! how can u judge my sister without even knowing her!
Everyone else? Who else was Anna trying to convince to get to know her?
Frozen Storm: Well, she seems to shut you, her sister, out as well and you're not getting anywhere with her, right? How can anyone else hope to?
She sent the message trying to convince Anna to give up as her stomach twisted into knots again. She was completely unprepared for the response her words evoked.
Snowflake: but i try! i talk to her everyday. well her door haha
That damn knife was back.
*i dont kno wat else to do
*and then she doesnt respond and i feel like im so pathetic
Twisting deeper.
*i spend more of my time crying than anything else these days
Deeper.
*u think its my fault? that she wont talk to me
And deeper. She wasn't sure where the bleeding was coming from, her stomach or her heart. Or both.
*maybe because im so stupid that she lost faith in anyone else being able to match her
And finally, she couldn't contain her tears anymore.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
And as always, feel free to leave a review and suggestions as to how I can improve.