Chapter 13: 30 Hs 2: 30 As

AN: U no watt is wired? 30 Hs! But in an adorabull way. I was relly sad abot how it dosent hav an ending, so i decided 2 rite my own sekwel! I dont own 30 Hs or Hardly Potter. I wisth that i owned Tim soo that i cold make him my slave! Maw Hamah! WARNIN: This chap has som relly sacredly momemts, so bee carefree.

Chapter Twevle Recap!: Link gos 2 Hobnails Hangar Horse, Hagerman Lifer is there, Lonk and Hummable have six, Tingle and Hearable try to eat Link, Julio Sesser scars them away, and link secses with him.

Chaptre beggin!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Blaise Zabini stood in the showers, massaging the generals for the Army of Light Penile Darkness. "Here is the love," he said, shooting an origami rainbow beam at their thighs, which slowly and erotically caressed them to death.

"DID SOMEONE ORDER SOME FRENCH F*CKING TOAST!" Harry Potter took out a French Toast Launcher and shot Zabini in the head. His brainy and gooey essence was spread all throughout the Andes Mountains. Harry mopped up the formerly internal organs using the fur of an archaic eldritch abomination known as the Atomic Laser F*ck Dugong. As the pelt absorbed the remains, it began to grow appendages that grabbed Zabini's eyes and casted them into the Russian White House, giving President Putin eternal erectile dysfunction.

"So, Harry," yelped Bill Gates, Harry's Latin lover. "How shall our journey be concluded."

"Oh, you'll see." Harry used one of Zabini's ribs to comb the butter out of his flowing mane. "The whole Iberian peninsula will be forced to espy my wrath!"

Little could young Dr. Gates fathom the scatological adventures that awaited him.

Blaise Zabini's ghost remembered that he forgot to feed his cat.

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Harry sat up in bed. "What the bloody Hell just happened."

"It's okay," assured the nurse. "You just had a bad fever."

He was a male nurse, since guys can be nurses too, you racist. (AN: I liek to give charecters backstories, even if they are only miner cahracters. The male nurse's name was Lafayette Alessandro Sigmund Ryszard Glockenspiel. He was 15 percent Jamaican, 12 percent Finnish, 19 percent Cornish, 5 percent Indian, 7 percent Belizean, 4 percent Zimbabwean, 9 percent Mongolian, 4 percent Alaskan, 2 percent German, and 23 percent other. His parents were Ichabod Irkutsk Glockenspiel and Eliza Capella Pichosky al Ghul. The couple met at a conference for the Japanese Communist Party. They had 15 other children: Vallentia, Titus, Nariño, Niles, Vladimir, Georgia, Ivory, Gustov, Roz, Haruka, Ashton, Adolph, Olive, Ulrich, Polis, Marcel, Rugby, Pryce, Masahiro, Bob, Jacqueline, Karl, Hiro, Slater, Kirby, Orion, Intel, Kalliope, Polina, Iran, Bastille, Calypso, Kelvin, Romeo, Jamal, Quincy, Metra, Urban, Wilden, Dormammu, Gustaaf, Khan, Reggae, Greta, Frasier, and Beaver. Beaver was adopted. Although Lafayette was the oldest, his parents hated him the most, because he was against their Communist beliefs. He caused his parents great disappointment. After he converted to Zoroastrianism, Ichabod and Eliza disowned him, throwing him out onto the streets. Since then, Lafayette discovered that he was a Muggle-born wizard, and he became a foreign exchange student to Hogwarts from his home country, Malta. He followed his dream of becoming a male nurse and now lives a happy life at Hogwarts.)

"I need to speak with Headmaster Dumbledore," Harry stated.

Later:

"Dumbledore, I've been having some...strange dreams." Harry described the bizarre dream he had last night.

"Wow," muttered the Headmaster. "That is some f*cked up sh*t."

Harry was shocked by Dumbledore's sudden harsh language.

"What?" Dumblydore said. "I have a headache, okay! But go on."

Potter reluctantly continued. "It isn't just that messed up dream where I'm a psychopath and tons of random things happen. I've been having other strange dreams too. There's one where I'm an murderous liberal Satanist who tried to kill a homophobic conservative. In another, Hogwarts is a Christian school and none of us are wizards. In one reoccurring dream, a talking hedgehog, the guy from Twilight, an anime character, and a bunch of other random characters all go to Hogwarts. Also, you're some sort of evil villain."

"Interesting," whispered Dumbledore. "Bloody f*cking interesting."

"And there were so many...erotic dreams. So...many...I don't think I'll be able to see anyone the same way again."

"Harry, maybe you've just been stressed out. Here, I'll go set out a nice warm bath to soothe you."

"Thank you so much, Dumbledore. I'm sure it'll help."

A few minutes later, Harry walked into the bathroom, ready for a refreshing bath. Much to his dismay, Snape and Dumbledore were making out in the tub!

"Come join us Harry!"

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"Holy f*ck nuggets!" Harry sat up in bed. "Thank goodness it was all just a dream."

Harry Potter closed his eyes so that he could finally get some real sleep. What he got was so much worse.

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee—

The next morning, Harry killed himself.

THE END

AN: Plz tell me iff u liked it! Nex chap ill properbly be bach 2 the main storie, buti do eventurally want 2 write abou Fundal Fantasty so tell mii about it or DIE! Tim will diy 2 haha.