I feel it is worth mentioning that before I even start on the new requests I'm going to post the already finished drabbles first. So expect a few more chapters before I start on any of the requests from here. And if you're like, wait, but some of these are requests from someone here, well yeah, I had some friends request stuff long ago and I sent it to them privately before posting it on Archive. So I'm not playing favourites or anything, don't worry, it's just that those chapters were already written. Although admittedly I probably will play favourites at some point in the future, so in the meantime feel free to attempt becoming one of my favourites. Flattery never hurt anyone.
It is also worth mentioning that the original title to this chapter was "Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana Again?" which I thought was hilariously suitable, but apparently FanFiction does not like long chapter titles, so I had to change it. Pity. But this one's pretty cute too, so I guess I'll let it slide.
And as for this chapter, the ship is Drarry. Draco pretends not to know what he's doing but he does, and Harry thinks he knows what he's doing but really he doesn't. Written for NevilleGonnaGiveYouUp. There's an apocalypse, but I don't really think that counts as a trigger unless you're a survivor of one, in which case I guess you're a time traveller, or something, and frankly you should hold yourself in better form than complaining about a potentially triggering Harry Potter fanfic. Go travel to the eighteen sixties, or something, and keep your thoughts to yourself.
xXx
The apocalypse had happened. And somehow, that wasn't the worst thing. Worse then seeing the landscape in dissaray, Hogwarts reduced to rubble, the earth torn, the fact that they were currently roasting snakes so they wouldn't starve, and the people dying of sickness, there was one thing that, in comparison shouldn't have been that bad, but somehow was.
Draco had picked up a muggle joke book. And he thought it was utterly halarious.
"Hey. Hey Harry. What do you call a cow with a twitch?"
"Oh god help me." Harry groaned, dropping his head into his arms.
"Ha! Wrong. Beef jerky. Get it? Do you get it?" Draco asked, oblivious to the other's suffering.
A pause, then, "Harry. Do you have a band aid? "
Harry's head popped up, and he craned his neck around to get a look at the blond and look him over for any obvious wounds. "Are you bleeding? Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. "Do you need me to cast episkey?" Tetanus was everywhere in the soil and could be fatal, and as annoying as Draco could be, he didn't want him to die.
"I just scraped my knee falling for you." Draco said proudly, waving the book at Harry with a smug smile on his face, and Harry blinked.
"Wot." He said, eyeing Draco warily for a few moments before realizing that Draco had absolutely no idea that what he had just said was a muggle pick up line. Did he even know what a band-aid was? Harry continued to stare at Draco for a few more moments before shaking his head, and turning back to the fire. "Shut up." He sighed.
Draco remained silent for exactly ten seconds, (Harry had counted) before he started talking again, his previously smooth and mischievous voice now laced with confusion. "Harry, can you explain this one to me?" He asked, and Harry sighed before nodding. Another second passed, and Draco sat down next to him, leaning on him and shoving the book in his face, pointing to the section in question.
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you." Harry read monotonely, his entire self utterly unimpressed before he realized something. "Um, Draco? You know what parking tickets are. We saw the no parking signs by that old mall. Didn't I explain them to y-" Harry stopped talking when he looked at the other boy and realized that Draco was smirking.
"Oh. Shit. Dra-!" Harry was interrupted rather abruptly by a kiss.