As Shinji slowly lifted his eyelids, he found that he was no longer in his prison jumpsuit. Instead, he was in a light-blue cotton nightshirt and pants, in a medical restraint system on a hospital bed. The room itself looked familiar white panel walls to his front, back, and left, while daylight shone through the glass windows. Above him was a single dim white light on a particle board roof. At the same time, a number of ECG electrodes were stuck to his chest, arms, and legs while a nasogastric tube was intravenously feeding him through one of his nostrils and down his trachea. The only noise that was around was the steady beeping of the monitors showing his vitals while the rain pelted heavily against the glass windows.
"A familiar ceiling." he thought to himself. "I guess they probably wouldn't let me die after all. They want to see me punished. I couldn't blame them, I did start this all."
He laid in his bed, staring aimlessly at the light above him. He figured he may just be laying there, until the guards arrived, straight-jacketed him, and threw him in another cell until his trial. That was until the door to his hospital room slid open revealing Misato, this time without her signature red naval coat, cap, or visors. All she wore was a black turtleneck with black tights and black knee-high boots.
Shinji could see out the corner of his eye, but he was still too weak to move his body even a few inches. The tube stuck down his throat already made uncomfortable enough. Misato then pulled up a nearby chair and sat to his left. She then placed a hand on to Shinji's as he tensed, still afraid to face her over what he thought he did 15 years ago. Misato simply wavered it off as she proceeded to explain the situation.
"I know what you must be thinking Shinji, but you're in the United Nations Special Residency Institue," she explained. "We were ordered to bring you here by the International Security Committee after we alerted them of your condition. I'm sorry, but you'll be staying here indefinitely. It's for the best."
Shinji could sense there was an inherent sadness in her voice, one that was deep, but that she was also because she was hiding something as a result. He knew it was something that would change his fate. But then again, he was too weak to even speak or move. Whatever he had in his body and whatever happened on the IAV Miracle would keep him out of commission for a long time.
"Either way, it's necessary that you get as much rest as you can." Misato continued. "The staff will be taking to you're room in a few hours... To be honest with you Shinji, I wanted to see you, very likely for the very last time.
I haven't had a chance to speak with you ever since you returned. So much has changed in 15 years, and I still don't fully understand it all. Sometimes I just think we're cursed to fight in a hellish world forever."
"...I don't either Misato, but we were born into a world at constant war." Shinji stated. "But I've dreamed a dream, seen plans within plans. I know It sounds crazy, but hear me out. Every night since Third Impact, I felt I had visions in my sleep... of a bright future... where the world was a festival... a festival of the war's end, then an age of like that of evening calm came, and we all quietly settled down. I don't know if it really means anything, but it's still important. That's what kept me motivated to fight for the future."
When Misato heard that last sentence, however, she remembered what the clone of Rei Ayanami said during its interrogation with respect to another organization attacking NERV.
"So I guess you were the leader of the Triforce then, weren't you," Misato concluded.
Shinji was shocked that Misato managed to figure out what he kept as a closely guarded secret as he looked at her in surprise, shock, and horror.
"I never knew you were willing to go to such lengths." she continued.
Knowing the truth was now out, and with what he saw as no future ahead, he faced again towards the ceiling as he let out a heavy sigh.
"It was worse than that Misato," Shinji explained. "...But, it was a war in the shadows. I did what must be done to ensure NERV and SEELE were completely destroyed so that they could never re-emerge. I had to make an example of anyone who worked to rob humanity of the 'bright future'. We never took prisoners, and those who willingly surrendered to us, I would make their lives miserable beyond comparison."
"...And crucifying your opponents' corpses on crosses or leaving haphazardly built graveyards was part of it." Misato added.
"...Yes." Shinji reluctantly answered. "...But this is, what some would say, a holy war."
Misato was perplexed and somewhat horrified by Shinji's answer. Misato knew that she was fighting to undo the damage done by 15 years of world war, but for Shinji to liken what he did to a holy war... it sent shivers down her spine. It only served to show how desperate he wanted the world to be at peace, for himself and everyone he loved. In the 15 years, they've been apart, Misato was only now beginning to realize how much he held to the idea of "peace at any price".
"But now even that's a lie isn't it... all because I started Third Impact." Shinji continued.
Misato could see the despair in his eyes. He looked up towards the ceiling, avoiding eye contact as if he had no future. It made her feel more conflicted about keeping the truth about Third Impact a secret from Shinji, but in her mind, it was all for what she saw as the greater good.
But Misato saw something different in him. It wasn't just for the greater good, it was as if he had a mission that he was destined for, or was given a mission by God to wage a holy war on the "wicked". However, such a though only served to remind Misato of the kind of ruthlessness she saw in Gendo Ikari and SEELE at NERV.
"You need to rest Shinji," Misato said, changing the subject. "The staff will be escorting you to your quarters in a few hours. Goodbye Shinji."
With that Misato got out of the chair she pulled up beside Shinji's bed and walked towards the door. But not before Shinji cried out to Misato one last time.
"Misato... please!"
"Goodbye Shinji." she simply replied before leaving the room.
Shinji then let his head drop back into his pillow as he closed his eyes, now feeling overwhelmed by frustration, anger, confusion, and despair he only thought this to himself.
"When will this ever end?"
Epic of Evangelion
A pair of black-clad security personnel led Shinji down the hallway of what seemed to be an old and dilapidated apartment complex. The walls and roof were an off-white colour, with plaster peeling off, and cobwebs at the corners, like light bulbs, openly hung from the ceiling. The floor was a black, dirty carpet covered in crumbs, dust mites, and outside dirt. Mould from water stains could be seen on the roofs, as security cameras flanked the side of the hallways. On either side was a white household entrance door, with an extensive array of automated locks and knobs to keep intruders out, and residents in.
Eventually, they arrived at a door with a small golden plaque that read the following:
RESIDENCE: 012
REGISTRY: SJ-RI-AK00-01-02
RESIDENCY STATUS: SPECIAL OCCUPANCY
The content of the plaque perplexed Shinji, especially the meaning of the "REGISTRY". For some reason, it reminded him of his childhood friend Asuka Soryu, and his sister Rei Ayanami. He also felt that the registry wasn't put there by coincidence as there was probably a deeper meaning behind it. But he didn't bother to ask his security escort for fear of getting on their bad sides.
As one of the guards opened the door, he saw a relatively small residence with a room containing two separate beds at the back with a widescreen television on a wooden desk to the left of them. In the pathway between the beds and television, was the entrance to a small kitchen with the entrance at the back of the kitchen leading to the laundry and washroom. To the forward right of the beds was a dark wooden door that leads to another room. The walls of the residence were also off-white with dark wooden planks lining the top and bottom of the walls. The floor was also a black carpet but much cleaner and two dim beige-hued lights hung from the ceiling.
As Shinji entered his new home, he found it weird that there were two beds right in front of him. Either because the guards made a mistake or something entirely different that he didn't know about. Suddenly the door was shut behind him, leaving him to tepidly walk into the room. For some reason, he was told by the guards to take the separate bedroom, which he now realized was behind the door to the right of the beds he saw.
As he entered his bedroom he closed the door behind him, putting his black duffel bag down on the floor as he sat on the edge of the bed. Looking up at the ceiling as he let out a huge sigh and thought to himself.
"So this is how it is, huh. I guess that I don't mean much to Misato then do I."
With that, he got up and started to unpack his belongings from his bag. Having already gone through an emotionally exhausting day, he decided to take out the instant noodles that were stocked for him in the fridge for dinner. Making his way to the kitchen, he opened up the pantry and pulled out a plastic red bowl of instant noodles. He often preferred to make his own meals with real ingredients. The thought of processed food made did not go well with him. After all, he was known to be an excellent cook. After adding the water and spices in the sink, he put in the microwave and waited. Soon he sat crossed legged in front of the wooden desk as he silently ate his dinner, going over everything that happened the past few days and what it meant for him going forward. He felt a large number of things, confusion, anger, regret, loneliness, and it was too much for him to make sense.
Epic of Evangelion
After finishing his dinner and throwing out the plastic bowl, he soon took a bath, changed, brushed his teeth and went to bed. He tossed and turned all night as he kept having weird feelings about what Misato told him in his hospital room, or rather what he knew she didn't. Something was not right, and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. It was mostly the reason he decided not to take his life a second time after starving himself aboard the IAV Miracle.
Having too much on his mind, he pulled off the blanket, put his slippers on, and left out the door of his apartment.
As he walked down the now dimly lit hallway of the apartment complex, he was still thinking about the feeling of uncertainty he was having, the secrets Misato kept from him. He soon walked down the stairs to the complex's courtyard. It was a small park surrounded on all sides by brick tenements, in the middle was a small hill, encircled by a gravel path. There were a small number of trees surrounding the small green hill. The night sky was clear with the stars shining above. The moon was full, as the naturally illuminated night light shone through the tree branches.
Shinji than proceeded to lay on the top of the small grass hill, staring up at the stars and moon. It was just like the time he spent with Kaworu during his short stay at NEU-NERV. They would look up at the stars every few nights while they spoke about their lives and how they felt about the new world they lived in after practicing the piano every now and then. It was the only time they really had to spend with each other, in the years he worked with him as a founder of the Brotherhood of the Sacred Bull. When Shinji emerged from stasis, Kaworu seemed to be the only friend he had left in this world. But during their attempt to "fix" the world, Kaworu died at the hands of an explosive chocker that was meant for Shinji. From there, everything went downhill, his closest friends and family were missing, dead, or most likely hated him when he thought about it.
But at the same time, as he looked up at the pulsating white specks that dotted the black sky, the oddly felt at peace at the same time. Soon enough, he forgot his worries and problems as he continued looking into the night sky. He laid on the ground for what seemed to be half-an-hour as he zoned out. For the first time in a few days, a small smile came to his face.
Suddenly, he was broken out of his relaxing trance when he heard a distant pair of footsteps, making the sound of distant crunching as they both walked along the gravel. Fearing that it was security guards enforcing some kind of a curfew, and not wanting to cause a problem by running to his residence, he climbed up one of the trees, hoping to hide in the branches until the noise passed. Soon he was high in one of the trees, holding tightly on to the trunk while his feet were balancing on the branch. As he heard the noises coming closer he could make out distant chatter of two familiar voices.
"That's the problem, you're too passive." one voice stated. "You gotta learn to be aggressive and demand what you're promised."
"I don't think that's the problem." the other voice replied somewhat timidly. "They said the area would be closing soon and that there would be no point getting anything."
"Well they were still open for a few minutes, we could've at least gotten something. Right?"
"I guess so, but I'm tired, I prefer to rest."
"Fair enough, I'm pretty tired too."
Feeling the voices to be too familiar, he got down and slowly straddled towards the end of the branch to better make out the source of the voice.
"Anyway, weren't we supposed to be getting a new roommate today?"
"Well, from what I heard, yes."
"Funny they haven't arrived yet."
"Well I was just told that they were recovering from an illness, so we wouldn't be seeing them until tonight."
"Well, I guess we'll have to make do with whatever idiot they send us, even if they are a pervert."
As Shinji peeked through the branches he made out two figures eerily similar to Aska Shikinami from WILLE and Rei Q from NEU-NERV. Looking closer, he felt he was hallucinating or imagining things. As he kept looking, he suddenly heard a sharp snap just before falling from the tree. He felt himself being rapidly pulled him down as he hit the side of the small grass hill in a sharp, loud thud. As he slowly regained some of his senses he could see to feminine figures standing in front of him, though it was difficult to make out who they were due to the disoriented and somewhat blurred vision. Suddenly he found himself being pulled into a tight, almost suffocating embrace by one of the figures.
"Idiot Shinji, where the hell has you been?!" one of them asked in a combination of anger and joy as he saw tears streaming from their eyes.
As his vision finally cleared he finally two girls he thought he would never see again. Asuka Langley Soryu, the one tightly hugging him, and Rei Ayanami crouching down beside her. He couldn't believe his eyes, both people he thought he would never see again we're right in front of him. Overcome with disbelief and shock he fell unconscious against the tree trunk.
Epic of Evangelion
As Shinji opened his eyes, he found himself laying on his bed, blanket up to his chest. As he remembered what happened in the courtyard, and now finally finding himself in his bedroom, he frantically sat up as he saw Asuka sitting at his bedside.
"Took you long enough to get up," she said. "You really gave us a scare back there."
"I-is that really you Asuka?" The boy asked tepidly.
"Ugh, what do you I am, a figment of your stupid imagination... Nevermind, it's good to have you back Shinji, we've missed you."
Asuka then leaned in and hugged Shinji for what seemed to be a minute. Suddenly Rei, wearing a light-brown apron over her pyjamas, came through the door with a tray containing a bowl of rice porridge with a mug of jasmine tea.
"I hope you're feeling better Ikari?" Rei politely asked. "I made you some porridge and tea in case you still weren't feeling well."
"Thank you Rei... thank you." Shinji replied as he looked down at the porridge and tea, clenching his open hand into a fist, feeling like he had to tell them the "truth".
"...But really, I don't deserve your kindness." Shinji stated with partial regret in his voice. "All I've done was ruin your lives because I caused..."
"Third Impact?" Asuka chimed in.
"You know!" Shinji replied.
"Know?!..." she continued. "We know that the United Nations stating that you did it was false and that now they know it too, thanks to that clone of Rei of course... Wait don't you remember, that incident destroyed everything in the surrounding area, I recovered you and Rei from the cockpit, it was a clear night, full moon?!"
"I'm sorry Asuka, I don't." Shinji apologized as he shook his head, unable to recall the events Asuka described.
"Well, either way, they did a pretty damn good job of keeping the truth from you."
Suddenly Shinji started having the same feeling he had when Misato spoke to him in his hospital room, the same he had when he was told he was guilty of causing Third Impact. Suddenly, a wave of visions flashed through his mind as he saw Asuka opening the hatch of his mech as she recovered both him and Rei. He remembered walking through the ruins he created in Tokyo-3 and the surrounding area due to Awakening Unit-01. And all this under a clear night sky with a full moon.
"I knew it, Misato was lying to me," Shinji stated, horrified and grief-stricken at the realization.
"It's not just you Ikari," Rei chimed in. "...both Soryu and myself were incarcerated for falsely aiding you in the initiation of Third Impact."
"Then why didn't I see either of you on the IAV Miracle?" Shinji asked.
"Because I was taken into custody aboard the IAV Justice while Rei was taken by the IAV Discovery," Asuka explained. "From the crap, they told me and Rei at least, it was 'too dangerous to have all of us together aboard one ship'. They retrieved us as part of what they called Operation US. But Misato didn't tell you that didn't she?"
"No, Misato didn't," Shinji replied, his anger being held back but still being made apparent. "To be honest with you Asuka, I don't see why we should continue to trust the Colonel, not after how much she lied and kept secrets from us. I guess our lives really do mean nothing to her and WILLE, and what she wants. In the end, she's only in this for herself."
"Yeah," Asuka shot at Shinji. "...but what are we going to do dummy, we can't just sit on our asses and do nothing."
"Now that I know the truth, I intend to finish what we started 15 years ago," he replied.
"But what if Colonel Katsuragi finds out what we are doing?!" Rei frantically asked.
"Then let her question and investigate us, she doesn't have the power to stop what we are doing."
"Shinji's right Rei," Asuka added. "...no matter what she finds, she can't do anything about it. And besides, she leads the World Security Group, she gives the orders, it would only make sense she ordered the truth hidden from us as well so we would stay under her thumb."
"I agree with Soryu, but Colonel Katsuragi must have her reasons." Rei refuted.
"Yeah, that she will do anything to stop living in another hell for herself. Face it Rei, Misato has her own agenda, and it's not for the best. She's now about as bad as the Commander. Think about it Rei, the Commander and the Colonel basically used us, kept secrets from us, then they treated us all like prisoners without an explanation, and put shock collars around our necks like we were rabid animals. What does that tell you?" Asuka explained before continuing.
"Look Rei, I'm not saying you have to agree with what we might do, I just want you to know who are real enemies are ...Anyways I'm gonna turn in. Don't do anything stupid or perverted while I and Rei are sleeping Shinji, or I will not hesitate to beat you up as punishment."
"Yeah, yeah," Shinji replied, still tired of Asuka's threats.
As Asuka was about to head out of Shinji's bedroom door, Rei finally came up with her answer.
"No Soryu, I'll always be at your and Ikari's side no matter what happens."
"Thank you Rei," Shinji replied, grateful for Rei's answer. "That means a lot to both of us."
"Yeah, thanks Rei, really," Asuka added. "I guess we all know what needs to be done then."