A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews and feedback, you wonderful, wonderful people!
"What?" Anna almost choked on her Sprite. Sputtering, she added, "Why would you even ask that? We're sisters… that's… it's not even…" That's impossible! There's no way…
"So, I can chalk your jealous behaviour up to just not willing to share your sister then?" Ariel rested her elbows on the table and looked at her expectantly.
"Jealous behaviour?" Anna repeated incredulously. Was she… jealous? Of Ariel?
"Goodness, you are sheltered. Have you never felt jealousy before? Oh, I guess because you were never confined at home or cut off from the rest of the world," Ariel sighed, exasperated. "Don't think I haven't noticed your death glares whenever I so much as touch Elsa."
Anna furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Was jealously the strange anger that kept boiling within her? Her father had given her everything she wanted during her childhood; she never longed for anything. Except her sister, when Elsa was busy. I guess I really don't understand jealousy. But I do get angry whenever Ariel so much as brushes Elsa. So that's… jealousy?
But… I'm not in love with Elsa; I just love her as… a sister. Right? Anna shook her head. "I'm not in love with Elsa. I mean, she's my sister. I guess I'm just not used to sharing her. I've been her only friend for most of her life. Why—why are you even asking?"
"Just covering all my bases," Ariel shrugged. "I want to know if there's any competition."
"Competition for what? Elsa?" Anna gasped. "You mean—do you—"
"I like her," Ariel stated, holding Anna's surprised gaze. "More than just friend like."
"But Elsa's not into—"
"She is," Ariel grinned. "You never noticed?"
Elsa chose that moment to return to the dinner table. Anna nervously shifted in her seat again so her sister could squeeze by her.
Taking in Anna's awkward expression and Ariel's smug grin, Elsa eyed the latter suspiciously. "What were you talking about?"
"About how the pizza here sucks," Ariel replied matter-of-factly.
"You wanted to come here!"
Ariel stuck out her tongue. "Maybe it's time for dessert."
That night, Anna tiptoed to Elsa's room, slowly turned the knob, and pushed open the door.
The creak of the opening door caused Elsa to turn over in her bed and prop herself up on her elbow, "Who is it?"
"Just me," Anna whispered, "I couldn't sleep. Can I come in?"
Elsa hesitated for a moment, and then lifted her sheets, "Hop in."
Anna didn't need a second invitation. Closing the door behind her, she crossed the room in a few quick strides and jumped into her sister's bed.
It took only a moment for Anna to bury herself closer to her sister's warm body, resting her head in the crook of Elsa's neck, taking in her scent, as the blonde pulled the sheets back over them and tentatively put one arm around her in response.
"So, Ariel told me that you like girls," Anna murmured when they were settled.
"She—what?" Elsa tensed. "So that's what you were talking about. I am so going to kill her."
Anna laughed quietly. "I'm not judging. So… do you really?" she asked, heart thumping loudly against her ribcage.
Elsa sighed, "I was going to tell you, Anna. I just couldn't find the right time." A pause. "Yes, I guess I do."
"Do you like Ariel? Like, in that way?" Anna mumbled, playing with a lock of her sister's hair and trying to ignore the smooth skin underneath.
"My… relationship with Ariel is… complicated."
Anna involuntarily scowled at the word 'relationship'. Suddenly, her eyes fell on the smooth contours of Elsa's lips, and she couldn't tear them away. As memories of her recurring dream flooded back to her, she remembered the question Ariel had asked her in the restaurant and heat rushed to her face. Was she in love with Elsa? Her impulse was to answer no.
But why did her heart start running marathons whenever she laid eyes on her sister? Was that love? She loved Kristoff, too, right? Her stomach fluttered whenever he kisses her; that must be love, right? To distract herself, she murmured, "What do you mean? Do you know she likes you?"
Elsa pulled back slightly and nodded, looking down at her through half lidded eyes.
Damn, those eyes. The redhead flushed even deeper and buried her face in the pillow, grateful for the cover of darkness.
"I'm not sure how I feel about her yet," Elsa replied, words dipped in a hint of caution. "Maybe you can help me. How do you feel about Kristoff? Emotion-wise. How do you feel when you see him?"
"He makes me forget bad things," Anna admitted. But so do you. And you do it better.
She felt her sister nod. "Are you happy just being with him?"
Anna's heart clenched at the question, so similar to the other one Elsa had asked her the night before. Tell her the truth, her mind implored. Just tell her he doesn't make you as happy as she does. Tell her how amazing she makes you feel just by being with you. Tell her how much it hurts to lie to her.
Before she could reply, Elsa chuckled softly, "Sorry, I already know the answer to that one."
No, you don't. You don't. I lied. Tell her! Tell her you lied! Anna squeezed her eyes shut at the tears that threatened to burst forth from the pressure in her chest.
Elsa's lips gently brushed against Anna's forehead. "Goodnight, baby sis," Elsa whispered.
Her sister made a muffled noise in response.
Only when she heard the soft, even, breathing that signaled her older sister's slumber, Anna let loose a barely audible whimper as she wiped her tears with the collar of her sleepwear.
Am I in love with Elsa?
Elsa slowly disengaged herself from her sister's nest of limbs, careful to not wake her. Pulling on her clothes, she shuddered quietly as she thought about how close she had been to ghosting her mouth over Anna's lips instead of her forehead. Anna had been surprisingly indifferent about discovering her sexual orientation; she had expected a bigger reaction. But, then again, her little sister was always so graciously accepting of everything, so maybe it shouldn't have been surprising.
She was pleased with her self-control last night. Her first instinct was to deny herself as much physical contact with Anna as possible, but after reflecting on the fact that they had not seen each other in three years, her heart ached to fill the void that had been created by their separation, and she conceded. That, and she didn't want to disappoint Anna any further than she had that day.
The shiver of pleasure that spread through her when Anna buried herself in her neck had almost made her lose her nerve. Almost. For a moment she feared that her sister would have been able to hear the apprehensive hammering of her heart against her chest, but it eventually calmed when she let muscle memory take over.
She had wanted to say 'by the way, you looked beautiful in all your dresses today' but violently swallowed those words when she considered the responses they would have induced. What if Anna asked why she was so nonchalant the entire time? She would have had to lie again. It hurt so much to lie. And so, she bit the words back before they could tumble out.
When Anna inquired about her feelings for Ariel, she had almost wanted to cry out the truth at the unexpected sting that the question brought. Thankfully, her fear of the consequences her confession would have incurred stopped her. Even kind, caring, sympathetic Anna would be disgusted if she knew the kinds of thoughts Elsa was having about her. A confession would damage their relationship beyond repair. And Elsa would much rather have Anna in her life as a sister, than not at all.
She cursed herself when she unwittingly asked again if her younger sibling was happy with Kristoff, but quickly saved the girl from answering, because she didn't want to feel again the soul crushing pain that had ensued when Anna first said she was.
She opened the door wide enough to just slip through, and, without a sound, closed it again.
Elsa stepped into the grand lobby of the corporate building, taking in the smell of fresh coffee and printer paper, Ariel following close behind. They entered the elevator and rode to the top floor, and were greeted promptly by Gustav, President Arendelle's personal assistant, who led them into the CEO's office.
"Ah, Ariel. It is so pleasant to have you with us this summer," Alana Arendelle, Elsa's mother, acknowledged them. "Elsa, I trust everything is well in Europe?"
"Everything is fine in Europe," Elsa mirrored her mother's professional demeanour.
"I am very grateful that you are allowing me this opportunity to intern here, President," Ariel added, with a politeness that she rarely displayed. Elsa's mother had that effect on people.
"Excellent. I have appointed for you both secretaries, to ease your transition into the North American market. Gustav? Ah, here they are." Alana motioned behind them.
Elsa and Ariel turned to greet their assistants.
"Now, then, Mark and Ivan will show you to your respectable offices."
Elsa followed Mark out of the room, waving a small goodbye to Ariel, who did the same.
"Ms. Elsa, I would first of all like to say what an honour it is to be your PA, and I regard this opportunity with the utmost gratitude," Mark began.
Elsa didn't look at him; instead, she started up her computer and sat down to work. "What is on the itinerary today?"
"Ah, yes, in about an hour, you are scheduled to be attending a conference with President Arendelle and representatives from Falk Industries to discuss a contract. The President would also like you to go over these accounts."
"Be on your way, then, and notify me when it's time."
"Yes, Ms. Elsa."
Elsa ground her teeth together and struggled to maintain her composure as she recognized one of the men standing in front of her. Falk Industries. She knew that name sounded familiar.
The detestable sight of short, maroon hair, green eyes, and sideburns made her stomach burn with hatred. Hans Falk stood before her, clad in a suit and tie, different from the hoodie and sweats that he always wore in high school, but failed to disguise his despicable face. And it failed to quench the loathing she felt upon seeing him.
She stopped in her tracks, Ariel almost bumping into her.
"Ms. Elsa," he said evenly in the distasteful voice that had habitually spouted insults at her, "it is good to see you again." This time, though, there was no hint of disrespect or contempt.
If Ariel hadn't nudged her and alerted her to the other curious gazes around the room, Elsa would not have stopped glaring murderously at the man before her. Quickly reorienting herself, she took a seat next to her mother, as Ariel sat down across from her.
"Now then, gentlemen, I'm sure you're all aware why we are conferring today," the President began. "So I will not mince words. I wish for Falk Industries to concede to a forty-five percent cut of all profits for the next three years in return for an annual sponsorship for the crude oil refinement project at five million a year."
The man seated beside Hans snorted. "Five million? That's not nearly enough. And you're asking to take almost half of the profits! Are you aware of how much this oil will cost, just to refine? The equipment alone—"
"Yes, I am quite aware. I am also aware of the costs that your people are able to cut down, but refuse to. Are you aware that this is my final offer, and that I am not negotiating? You have until today at fifteen hundred hours to give me a response." With that, she coolly strode out of the room, leaving a room of unsatisfied glares and confused glances. One by one the rest of the men filed out of the room until Elsa, Ariel and Hans were left.
When Elsa got up to leave, she heard Hans call out behind her. "Wait, Elsa! Uh, do you mind if I call you that?"
Yes, I do. I'd prefer if you didn't speak to me at all, actually.
"Ms. Elsa," he amended, when he met her eyes. "I want to formally apologize for my impulsive and rude behaviour for all of high school."
She only looked at him, but this time her gaze was calm and uncaring. She could feel Ariel staring at them curiously.
"Look," he continued when she didn't respond, "I was jealous of your intelligence, and I did stupid things like a stupid teenager. I hope, with the opportunity of this contract, that we could forget the past and work together." He held out a hand.
She ignored it. "Only time will tell if your words are genuine," Elsa replied, not revealing a shred of emotion. She turned and stormed out of the room.
"Wow, did he pee on your fish in high school or something? You looked like you were ready to kill him," Ariel remarked, still eyeing Elsa inquisitively.
"He is a loathsome, disgusting creature who only cares about himself," Elsa spat when they were in her office.
"Well, whatever he did to you, you could have him knocked flat on his ass now," Ariel smiled as she directed Elsa's gaze to Alistair's form outside her door.
Elsa couldn't help but smirk at the prospect of requesting Alistair to beat up Hans Falk, and she sat back down in her chair to complete her work.
Elsa buried her face in her hands, the frustration and calculations building into an angry throb in her temple. She had gone over the numbers once, twice, even three times, but they were inconsistent with previous accounts. Where had she gone wrong?
As she checked her calculations again, coming up with the same conclusion that she had the last three times, she threw her arms up in dissatisfaction and flung her pen onto the desk.
There was only one explanation for the inconsistency: someone had been faking the numbers on the spreadsheets. Groaning, she thought out in her head how she was going to approach her mother about this.
A noise outside the room interrupted her thoughts.
"Hey, you! You can't go in there!"
The door burst open to a jubilant and lively Anna holding two cups of coffee in her hand with Mark protesting after her. "Miss, you can't—"
Elsa put up a hand to stop him. "It's fine, Mark. This is my sister."
His mouth formed an 'o' shape in surprise and quickly worked to excuse himself, "My apologies, Miss."
When he left the room, Anna offered one of her cups to Elsa, smiling gleefully at the commotion she had just caused. "How's your first day of work been?"
Just great, if you consider the fact that I had to meet my detestable high school nightmare again and that I just discovered that someone has been faking the tax accounts for a month now.
But she didn't need to answer. The weary look in Elsa's eyes was enough to tell Anna that the day wasn't going very well. Anna prompted her sister to take the cup.
"I already have a coffee," Elsa sighed, pointing to the untouched cup that Mark had brought her an hour earlier.
"Please, Elsa. I'm hurt that you would even think I'd bring you coffee. We both know you hate the stuff," Anna grinned at her. "Try this. I promise you'll love it."
Curious now, Elsa accepted the offered cup and took a sip. Gasping at the sweet, delectable flavour of chocolate that spread across her tongue, she stared quizzically at her beaming sister.
"It's Belgian hot chocolate, with dark chocolate," Anna explained, still smiling from ear to ear, "I stopped by a Blenz* on my way here. I haven't forgotten what type of chocolate you love, Elsa."
Anna's smile was infectious, and Elsa found herself grinning along with the redhead. How does she always have such impeccable timing? She wondered.
She put the cup down and smiled warmly at her sister. "Thank you, Anna. This is exactly what I needed." It was a relief to finally be able to tell Anna something sincere, although this was not helping to subdue the intensity of affection she was feeling.
"Is there anything I can help with?" Anna peered at the scribbles of arithmetic that lay sprawled on the papers of Elsa's desk.
Yes, give me another of those head massages that you do so well. But somewhere amongst the throbbing ache of her temples and the tangle of math equations, a coherent thought warned her against any physical contact.
"No, this," she raised the cup of hot chocolate, "is enough. What brings you here anyway, so far downtown?"
"Oh, I was on a date with Kristoff," the redhead replied. "He's probably waiting outside right now," she added quietly.
There was a gnawing ache in the pit of her stomach again. Elsa smiled, a fake one this time. "You should probably get going, then." Before I say or do something I'll regret.
After waving a goodbye, Anna opened the door and stepped out, carefully shutting it behind her.
Elsa took another sip of the chocolate. The warmth, it seemed, had left with her sister.
"Kristoff!" Anna called as she bounced triumphantly through the revolving doors of the building. "She loved it! Thanks for waiting!"
Kristoff welcomed her with a light kiss on the lips, and then took her hand and led her down the street.
His hand was bigger, rougher, and wrapped around hers protectively. It was a completely different feel from when her fingers looped themselves between Elsa's. His hand was warm, and sometimes sweaty, unlike Elsa's cool grip. She shook her head, trying to clear it of the comparison that she was making, and trying to stave off the sinking feeling that she might prefer Elsa's hand to Kristoff's.
Again, Ariel's question surfaced to the front of her mind, like a rash that got worse with each bout of attention.
"Hey, Kristoff, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"How do you know when you love someone? Like, really know?"
That got him to rub his head with his other hand. He scrunched his eyebrows as he tried to come up with a satisfactory answer. "I guess, when you always think about what they want and what they like, that's the first sign."
"I meant if you're in love with someone. What if you, say, love your best friend for a really long time, and then maybe you suspect you're in love with them. How do you tell the difference? You think about a best friend all the time, too, right?"
"Where's this coming from, Anna? Are you secretly in love with Rapunzel?" Kristoff laughed at his own joke. His laughter died down when he found that she wasn't humouring him like she usually did.
"What if I am? How do I tell? Hypothetically, of course," she fixed him with an intent stare.
"Oh, wow, um," he scratched the top of his head, "I dunno. I guess that's hard to distinguish. But d'you wanna like, hypothetically, kiss Rapunzel? 'Cause best friends don't kiss, right?"
Anna grimaced as she remembered staring at Elsa's lips last night, and her recurring dream where she would be kissing her sister.
Kristoff took her negative expression as a no. "No, right? So, you're not in love with her." He chuckled, "Maybe you'd know for sure if you actually kissed Rapunzel. Hypothetically."
"W-what? Kristoff, don't be silly! I'm not going to kiss someone to find out if I'm in love with them," Anna huffed, elbowing him in the side.
He grinned back at her. "Aww, I would've paid money to see that. Well, I do remember asking my Grandpabbie the same question you asked me so I'll try to help you out. He said, 'if there's someone whose happiness matters more to you than your own, that's love'. That help at all?"
Anna stared at the pavement. Did she want Elsa to be happy? Yes, absolutely. Elsa deserved happiness more than anyone else.
The real question was: did she want Elsa to be happy more than she wanted it for herself?
Without a doubt, the answer was clear. Of course. Elsa had suffered so much for her, the studying, the isolation at school, it had all been for her.
With her free hand, she ran her thumb over the smooth snowflake pattern on her ear, a tangible reminder of her sister's love for her.
I'm in love with Elsa.
As if to confirm the thought, her heart skipped a beat.
Her stomach clenched with anguish, because her only course of action was painfully clear as well.
But if I want her to be happy, I can't be.
A/N: *Blenz coffee is the name of a chain of coffee shops in Vancouver, BC (guess you now know where the story is set). Their Belgian hot chocolate is fantastic.
Thank you for taking the time to read, and all criticisms, reviews, suggestions, and comments are welcome!