Chapter 20: Mashpotato Samurai

AN: OMG!11111 MerchantAnna likes my story 2! That meens thet I hav the apprervel of both Hot Topic Krew alters! Thank u sew muuch! I luv u. Bi the way, weer allredy 2 chapper 20! Figures crossed that Wii ken mike it too 40! (I hope tim doest make it 2 40 years!)

Chapter Nindeen Recap!: They banged, The End.

Chaptre beggin!

A majestic, beautiful creature was working on his next video game. The creature's name was Masahiro Sakurai, an immortal god/game designer.

"Honey, hurry up with what you're doing! Your food's getting cold," yelled Pit from Kid Icarus.

"I'll try to hurry up, my little Pitty Pat, but I have to finish working on something!" Sakurai and Pit were dating, which is the real reason why he includes so many Kid Icarus characters in Smash.

"Meow," said a cat.

"You know that you don't have to stay in your cat form all of the time?" Sakurai questioned.

"Yes, but this cat form is f*cking adorable." said the cat. Sakurai's cat, Fukura (Also known as Fukurashi) is an all-powerful eldritch abomination, who disguises himself as a cat for the lulz. (AN: I'm party sure the cats a he.) Being an immortal creature whose true form is unable to be comprehended by puny human brains, Fukura came to Sakurai, as he was the only other god that he could find. They are now best friends and partners in game design.

To show how powerful Sakurai's cat is, here is a list of some of his accomplishments:

1. He ate Bigley in one bite and was perfectly fine afterwards.

2. He beat Mega Primal Arceus in an arm-wrestling contest.

3. He existed long before the universe even existed. Rumor has it that he inhabits the multiverse, and can freely travel between universes.

4. He was originally going to be a fighter in Smash, but since he's humble, he didn't want to take up a character slot. Awww, so humble.

5. HE'S F*CKING ADORABLE! Just look at him!

6. His cat penis can expand at any point to become bigger than Bigley.

7. His true name cannot be pronounced.

8. This isn't even his final form!

9. He has a religion about him, called Fukurism, in which he is worshipped like the god he is.

10. He was actually the one who killed Hitler.

Okay, that list barely touches his true power, but it's good enough for now. Back to the story!

Sakurai finished working on his new game, Super Smash Brothers Five: I'm Giving Up on the Names, so he decided to play some Zelda just for fun. But something was wrong with the game. "What the hell?!" he angrily yelled.

"What's wrong Sakurai-senpai?" Fun fact!: Fukura is secretly in love with Sakurai.

"This game is completely f*cked up! Link is an idiot, Tingle is a cannibal, and fanfic characters are everywhere! I've got to go into the game and put a stop to this nonsense!"

Fukara opened a portal with his god-powers to travel into Zelda.

Meanwhile:

Link wuss beein an a-hole like userall. He was burning down Kokiri Forest for the evulz. Navi didn't notice because Link drugged her drink that morning. Luckily, Navi soon woke up. "Ugh, I have such a headache. Wait, is that a fire! We've got to do something!"

Navi was about to call 911, like everyone should do when there's a fire. Remember that kids, as calling 911 saves lives. That is my message for the day.

THE END.

Just kidding. Link shot the phone out of Navi's hands and then locked her up. "LINK, DON'T DO THIS! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE!"

"Cents win did i ever cair about lifes!" Link laughed like the despicable human being that he was.

Suddenly, someone jumped out of a portal! It was...Sakurai!

"Kon'nichiwa, b*tches!"

"Omg, its Mashpotato Samurai!" yeled Lonk from Pennsylvania.

"The f*ck? How did you get that from my name? Well anyway, Link, you are a huge jerk. So, I am going to do the Sakurai rap, which is a rap that I wrote myself. I am so awesome."

Sakurai took out a radio from hammerspace and turned on some badass music.

"RAP BEGIN!"

The god took out a microphone and began his rap. It is right...here:

Kon'nichiwa, b*tch! I'm Masahiro Sakurai!

Everyone knows that I can sock any guy!

Call me J.J. Sakurai, cause things will get physical!

You think that you can defeat me? Your rapping is just pitiful!

Congratulations! You won the Sakurai Prize!

What is the reward? Oh, its just your demise.

My matter's phantasmagorical, and my power won't diminish,

Because I'm never gonna quit; I'm gonna fright to the finish.

You think you're better than me? HAL, no! My raps are just so fly.

I'll chop you up with a katana—Sakurai Samurai!

My name is Masahiro, and the Hiro stands for Hero!

My raps will give you chills like a Freezie, make your temperature go to zero.

I may be from Japan, but I can drop rhymes like a-bombs.

So I suggest you give up now, or I'll blow you to dust with some napalm.

I'm the world's greatest troll! I'll have Kirby swallow you whole!

I voiced King Dedede, yes I'm the king! You amount to nothing at all!

You wanna smash with me, f*cker?

I made f*cking Smash Brothers!

And I know I said no more DLC but there is one other.

It is...MY CAT!

(Fukura falls out of the sky, picks up the microphone, and begins his own rap.)

Meow! They call me Fukara!

It translates to "I'll f*ck you up!"

I'm a feline fighter, if I saw a mouse, I'd smite her,

And soon your time will be up.

That game "Cat Mario" has no sh*t on me.

I beat it with my eyes closed, an easy victory.

I'm the cat Chuck Norris! Our fans, they adore us.

I can also transform: I'll turn into a tyrannosaurus.

You think you can fight me?

Well, you will soon see,

That you'll get your ass kicked by a kitty.

(Suddenly, everything turns dark, heavy metal music is playing in the background, Fukura starts to look demonic, and he screams every line.)

YOU MOTHER F*CKING P*SSY!

I'LL DRINK UP YOUR BLOOD LIKE MILK!

I'LL DEFECATE ON YOUR REMAINS!

AND I'LL—

(Sakurai interrupts his cat)

"Whoa, Fukura! Maybe this is a little...too much."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Hey, I have an idea! How about we do our own version of the DK Rap!"

(The DK Rap music comes on in the background, and the duo starts to rap.)

So they're finally here, performing for you

If you know the words, you can join in too

Put your hands together, if you want to clap

As we take you through this Sakurai rap

Sakurai!

Sakurai-san!

He's the creator of Smash, you know him well

He's finally back to send you to Hell

He's got a giant cannon, you don't want to be hit

Because if you do, you will hurt like sh*t

He's cooler, funnier, and Asian too

He's the first member of the Sakurai crew!

Sakurai!

Sakurai-san!

Sakurai!

Sakurai is here!

(Sakurai and Fukura both get bored of rapping and turn off the music)

"You know," said Sakurai. "I don't care about rapping anymore! I have something I need to tell you!"

"What is it, Sakurai-senpai?"

"I don't love Pit! I love you! I always have! I was only with Pit because he's divine in the bedroom."

"Oh, Sakurai-senpai! I love you, too! I always wanted to tell you, but I didn't know you felt the same way!"

Sakurai and Fukura started to make out sexily, until they remembered where they were. "I'll come back for you later, Link," said the physical god. "Sayonara, mother f*cker!"

Sakurai carried his cat through the portal, and Fukura shot a bird at Link on the way out.

"Well," said Navi. "That was interesting."

"U no, Nazi? I think wii lerned an impotent lessen today!"

"Is it that true love comes in many forms?"

"F*k no! Its that cat-on-Asian action is really hot!"

"Wait, what?"

AN: Dis chap is ovary guys! Sakeri and his cat wheel be back at a letter chipper. 1 more tanks for Merchint Anna! U rok! Tim doesnt rock, but rocks are in geolegy an d geologu is stuped, so tim is a geologey.