Chapter 10

Coming out

I was at school, waiting for biology class to begin. The whole class were already in their seats but we still had a few minutes break.

"Hey, frog-face," Joey Grant called me, coming to my desk. I tried to ignore him. He would probably mock me for something again. That's what he always do.

"Miss Isles is coming soon. I bet that you can't wait to see her. I have seen the way you're looking at her. Here," he said, leaving a napkin on my desk, "to wipe your drools when you see her."

"Go away!" I said to him trough greet teeth.

"You know what? I got you a new name. Janey the lesbi. What would you say, do you like it?"

"Fuck off!" I said angrily. I tried to stay calm but that was impossible task.

"I know that you like Miss Isles very much," he continued to talk and annoy me. "It's so obvious. But you know what, maybe she likes you too. I think you're her favorite student. You should have seen the way she defended you after I called you Roly-poly Rizzoli. If that's not true love then I don't know what is it."

He was really annoying. I was so furious for his words and I wished I could punch him but I didn't. I just didn't want a fight. In that moment, luckily, Maura Isles came and he took his seat, leaving me alone.

I thought everything was over and he wouldn't tease me anymore until something happened. During the class someone passed me a note. I opened it and saw this sentence written on it: "Jane and Miss Isles sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" I read it and I instantly knew that it was from him. But in that moment the teacher came near and she noticed the note I was reading.

"Hand it over," she demanded.

I didn't want to do that but I just had to. I gave the note to Maura and she threw it away without even looking at it, and then she continued with the lesson. She didn't say a word. I didn't know whether she read the note or not but I truly hoped she didn't.

I wanted to talk with her but by the time I got my stuff prepared for the next lesson she left the room. I had other classes to attend so I couldn't talk to her that day. I decide to leave things the way they were. Perhaps she didn't read the note after all.

After school I went home. I needed to talk with my mother. I was determined to confess her everything. Well, not everything like... everything. Nothing about Maura - that was for sure. Just about the fact that I like girls. Nothing more. For now. I promised myself the previous day to act bold. And that was what I intended to do. So I mustered all my courage and summoned her in my room.

"Mother, we need to talk," I said, agitated, still thinking about it. I didn't know how to tell her the big news. She sat on my bed, waiting for me to begin. But I didn't know what to say. How to prepare her for the talk.

"Jane," she said as she took my hands, "you look really nervous. What is it? Tell me."

"I just don't know how to begin..."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," my mother encouraged me. "You look worried so you better tell me what's going on."

"I am gay, Ma."

I spilled the beans as fast as possible. I was really nervous because I didn't know how she would react to my news. And I expected at least some reaction from her but she just stood there paralyzed, without saying even a word to me.

"Would you say something, please?" I asked nicely, maybe sounding a bit nervous. But I was trying to stay calm.

"You mean... like happy?" she asked, rising her eyebrow questionably. It was so obvious that she didn't believe her own words.

"No. Like... I am into girls."

"Oh... I am just surprised, that's all... I don't know what to say."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," she answered. "But... I just... I have to tell your father about that."

"Okay. But please Ma, don't say anything to Frankie and Tommy. They are going to laugh at me and make jokes."

"Okay," she agreed and she got up from my bed. Then she went to the living room and I quickly followed her. My father and my brothers were watching a baseball game there.

"Frank, come over here, I need to tell you something." My mother called at my father but he just turned around to face her and didn't even get up.

"I am watching the game now, can't you see?"

"Frank, come over here right now!" She used her threatening tone so my father gave up and got up from the couch, going closer to my mother. She was obviously going to tell him the news immediately. I was a bit nervous but also relieved because I didn't have to be the one telling him the big news.

"Your daughter is a lesbian," she said it quietly but my brothers were obviously eavesdropping. They were pretending to watch the game but they were also listening to my parents.

"What?" My father apparently couldn't hear her properly. The tv was too loud and perhaps that was the reason he didn't hear my mother the first time. Everything was really annoying - my father who couldn't hear her and my brothers that were listening to their conversation so they wouldn't miss anything. I was so frustrated at that moment.

"Jane is a lesbian. Gay," my mother shouted way too loudly to my liking and it was the exact same moment as Frankie hit the mute button on the tv.

"Great! Now shout it louder because our neighbors couldn't hear you," I said, crossing my arms. She promised she wouldn't tell my brothers!

"Jane is lesbian," Tommy started saying in a mocking demeanor.

"Yes. And if you say anything about it you gonna get in serious trouble," my mother threatened him.

Tommy quickly stopped teasing me, not wanting to risk it.

"Frank, aren't you going to say something?"

"Well, great. Then she won't get pregnant. One less problem to worry about." He concluded, looking pretty nonchalant about it.

"You see, you inherited your sense of humor from you father." My mother said and looked at me like she was blaming me for something. Like I had done something wrong. She just hates my sense of humor - that's all.

After the humiliating scene I just went to my room. I wanted to be alone. But not for long because someone knocked at the door.

"Whoever you are, if you don't carry a gun to shoot me, then just go away!" I shouted through the door. If that was my mother I could picture her look when she heard that. She always scolds me for my sarcasm.

"It's me," Frankie opened the door and entered in my room uninvited.

"If you're going to mock me then just go away. I am not in a mood."

"I just came to talk with you."

"Alright. Talk."

"I come in peace, Jane. Don't be so hostile."

"Alright. Sorry. I just... I am not in a good mood, that's all."

"How come you say the big news to our parents right now? Is this because of the rumors at school?"

"Rumors? What rumors?"

"The rumor that you like Miss Isles," Frankie told me.

"Where did you hear that from?" I asked, surprised that there was a rumor at school. I didn't know about that. "Let me guess, from Joey Grant?" He nodded his head.

"I usually don't believe in rumors but Miss Isles was here, at our house... and I saw the way you were looking at her. I know you Jane, I could easily see that you like her. It was so obvious."

"Really? Is that obvious?" I asked, a bit worried.

He nodded. "I know that sometimes we fight and argue, and tease each other but I am your brother. And that doesn't mean that you should hide it from me because I wouldn't tell to anyone if that's what you want to. I can keep a secret. I promise. You have to trust me. Tell me, Jane. What's going on?"

He seemed sincere so I told him everything. I told him that I liked Miss Isles from the moment I saw her. I told him about the night of the storm, about the kiss. I told him that I talked with her almost every day. I decided to be completely honest with him. I skipped some small details - he was my brother after all, but I told him the gist. He was listening to me carefully, without interrupting me with understanding look on his face. I have never felt my brother so close. And I felt such a relief that I could share my secret with someone. It was nice that I could talk about it with my brother without being judged.

After he heard the whole story, he concluded:

"I think that Miss Isles likes you. I don't know why you have any doubts about that. It's obvious. From what you told me, I mean. She kissed you! What more do you want? I don't know why you're so insecure about it. Judging by your story, she likes you back."

"You're saying this because you're my brother... and you want to support me," I doubted his words.

"You know me well, Jane. Would I do such a thing?

"Well... no. I don't know," I said, doubting his words. "You won't tell anyone about what I told you. Right? Promise me."

"I promise."

After our talk with my brother I decided to think things trough. I finally told my parents that I like girls. I promised myself to act bold and do something because I was determined and I did it. Now I should take the next step. Tomorrow was the big day.

AN: What do you think about this new chapter and the story so far?