[#] Gift [#]
It shines in his hand, golden light reflecting into his eyes. Were Cyberlife still around he wouldn't need this, but then he wouldn't be here at all. It's a symbol of accomplishment. Acknowledgement. He's not a useless failure after all.
He knows he's grinning like an idiot. It's fine. Connor did the same when he received his earlier and went shouting at the Lieutenant. The entire station was proud of his predecessor. He slipped by unnoticed in turn. The grin is toned down. It's fine. He doesn't need their approval. He doesn't need this validation.
He wants it.
He desperately wants it.
It's not a big deal like Connor made it out to be. It's just a symbol. A key. He's functioned perfectly fine in his role thus far without it. Yes it will make future fieldwork far easier should he be on his own but that's not such a big deal. It doesn't matter.
It's only a badge.
"Look at you!" At the familiarly gruff voice he looks up to see Lieutenant Anderson smiling at him. Though he can read pride it doesn't have the same effect as Amanda's proud smile. It never will. Nonetheless he appreciates it. "Connor's bouncin' off the walls like a kid on Christmas and here you are hidin' at your desk like nothin' happened."
"Connor is easily excitable."
"Ain't an excuse for you to be so sullen. You should be proud of yourself, kid!" A gesture to the badge in his hands.
He follows and looks back down at it. It shines similar to his lighter. The golden gleam is somewhat mesmerizing. He stares for longer than intended as only the Lieutenant's hand on his shoulder draws him out. "Yes, Lieutenant?" he asks, wondering if the man needs anything else. The conversation had finished after all.
Brows furrow. Edges of the mouth creep downward. A short sigh. "If you're not gonna then I will for you." Will what? The expression shifts back to something between pride and mischievous. "I'm proud of you for making it this far, Detective Colin."
LED flashes red.
Slowly shifts to yellow as he, just as slowly, looks back down at the badge, now gripped rather tightly. Detective. A title he never expected. Paired with a name he never thought he'd have. He is more than RK800 #313 248 317-60. He is more than just another Connor. He is more than a machine. (much as he may wish otherwise)
He is a damaged but determined younger brother. He is a witty and tenacious friend. He is a jaded asshole that somehow doesn't drive people away. (he is a deviant)
He is Detective Colin of the Detroit Police Department.
When Lieutenant Anderson removes their hand from his shoulder he steps back, offers the man a smile, and tightens his grip on the badge once more as if to confirm it's real. Then, smile shifting to a smirk, he pulls his shirt up just enough to clip the badge to the left side of his belt. The same way Gavin wears it.
For the rest of the day he returns every smile he's given, typical attitude and reputation be damned. He earned this. He fought for this title, this status, this proof that he means something to the world. That he's more than a damaged failure. That he's more than trash Cyberlife never bothered to toss out.
He is important.
He means something.
He is a detective.
In a city still reeling from November that is a pretty damned important mission to be assigned.
.
PRIMARY OBJECTIVES:
DISCOVER SELF
FULFIL POLICE DUTIES
.
A glance across the bullpen to Connor eagerly filling out reports while doing coin tricks in a free hand. He cannot see their badge so assumes Connor has placed it in his pocket like the Lieutenant. What a day. Detective for the DPD. It's a pretty damned important mission. Luckily he's not the only one accomplishing it. A partner is important and he's got that in Gavin—currently giving him a cheeky grin after seeing where he'd clipped his badge. And closer than that, at a higher priority, a more important ally, is something he'd refused to admit for a long time; a brother.
Perhaps Connor was right that day at the tower.
'I thought nothing mattered except the mission. But then one day I understood.'
And perhaps that was the best gift he's been given; a forceful opening of his eyes.
Though a police badge might just be better.
He'll have to wait and see.