Chapter 27: Harry Potter RP!

AN: Wazzup! Todis cheepter will bee in the style of a Hurry Patter Role Playing Chat! An itll hav al yere fav caracters 2! Good think tim went be ther e since hes noons fovorete charact. Just sew u no, names in bold wheel be the reel characters, wheel reguber nams will be Harry Podder. Ex: Link:, Harry Potter:

Chapter Twennysex Recap!: Dark steels the note, he gets kirlled, link gets noted, link becoms kira, L is tingles deterctive, L and Light run atfer lonk, gambit pileup, what the hell is happening, im really confuses, they fine the rale note, lite dyes, saria dyes, and L jones tings teem.

Chaptre beggin!

Link started a new chatroom.

Malon joined the chat.

Navi joined the chat.

Epona joined the chat.

Sakurai joined the chat.

Fukura joined the chat.

Link: Hay goys, I starded a Harry Potter role play chat! I added u 2 the chat sew u ken do it wif mii! Tell me who you wanna be in the rp an we can play! I call Harry!

Navi: Do I really have to do this?

Link: YES LOSSER!111111

Navi: Fine, I call Hermione.

JK Rowling joined the chat.

Navi: Wait, is this really JK Rowling?

JK: I just wanted to watch over this chat to make sure that everyone is in character.

Navi: Poor thing, she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. Also, why is Tingle here?

Link: I needed a bad ghey 2 play Voldymert.

Tingle: And I'm obviously the best choice to play a very threatening character.

Malon: I wanna play Ginny!

Zelda joined the chat.

Zelda: Can I play Ginny?

Malon: LEAVE NOW B*TTCH!111111

Zelda: But I just wanted to play!

Malon: I SAID LEEVE!11111111

Zelda left the chat.

Tingle: Bye, my little Zeldy-pie! I'll see you in the bedroom tonight!

Snap joined the chat.

Snap: How about u tell us more about what you'll do to her?

JK: Snap? Is that supposed to be like Snape?

Snap: Hey, how aboot u tell me wat yere wearing rite now?

Snap has been blocked from the chat.

Link: Ill bee sure 2 send u my phone nobler soon, snap.

Happy Drug Salesman joined the chat.

Salesman: I'm a redhead, so i call Ron!

Walter White joined the chat.

Walter: I call Neville!

Salesman: Maybe we can do drugs together in the story!

JK: That doesn't seem in character.

Link: Shut up, dis is mah chat!

Ebony joined the chat.

Ebony: Oh mi satin, let me pley maself!

JK: Just because you were in a Harry Potter fanfic doesn't mean that you're a Harry Potter character.

Ebony: F*k u prep! I no u didn hav Harry and draco get togetter in the end so yere homophonic!

Fukura: I wanna be Hedwig the cute owl!

Ebony: Wate Hegwig is a owl? I thot he wasa blond gay guy.

JK: The hell? Where did you get that from?

Sakurai: I call Dumbledore!

Epona: I choose McGonagall!

L joined the chat.

L: Can I be Luna?

Navi: Um, why?

L: Just let me be Luna!

Link: Okay!

Old Man joined the chat.

Old Man: I'll be Snape!

BEN joined the chat.

Link: HOLEY F*K THIS CHAT IS HAUNTED!

Ben: Calm down, I'm just here for some role playing. I choose Hagrid!

Link: Annyone elsa?

Waldo joined the chat.

Waldo: It looks like you found me! I wanna be Draco!

Link: Okey dats all dah peple playing! Lets began!

It was a dark and stormy night in Hogwarts, and Harry was sleeping in his bed. Suddenly, he heard a noise!

Harry: BLOODY HELL! WHO ARE YOU, YOU BLOODY WANKER!111111 PIP PIP CHEERIO!11111

JK: British people don't talk like that, you know.

Link: Don't interrupt me!

The noise was...Voldemort!

Voldemort: Voldemort! Voldemort! Kooloo-Limpah!

JK: Whoa! Make the characters like they are in the books! Don't make them self-inserts of yourself!

Tingle: Ugh, fine.

Voldemort: Thou art going to die, Harry! Thy hath broke into Hogwarts, thy shall kill everyone, and thou art dumb!

Harry: BLOODY HELL!

Suddenly, someone burst into the room! It was...Hermione!

Harry: HERMIONE I NEED SOME BLOODY HELP, YOU WANKER!

Hermione: Um...Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort: Ha, thou hath beith too weak to damage me! Thy haseth the force!

Hermione: Well...I guess I'm leaving! Bye!

Harry: BLOODY HELL NO!11111

Harry used his hookshot on Hermione to keep her from leaving.

Navi: I'm pretty sure Harry doesn't have a hookshot.

Link: STAY IN CHARACTER!111

Hermione: OH F*CK, MY BACK! YOU JUST F*CKING STABBED ME IN THE BACK! HOLY F*CK, THE PAIN!

Ron ran in, too! He was with Neville! They were both doing crack.

Ron: Hermione, I'm breaking up with you! I love Neville!

Neville: I love you, too, Ronnie Ron! Lets do cocaine out of each other's butts!

JK: Whoa! What the Hell is wrong with you!

Voldemort: Thou hath no one who can defeat thy!

Harry: IF ONLY MY BLOODY OWL WAS HERE TO BLOODY HELP US, THAT WANKER!

Hedwig: Hoot hoot! I'm here to help!

Hedwig took out a machine gun and started shooting everyone!

Hedwig: DIE F*CKERS!111111

JK: What?! I can't even...

Fukura: Fine, that didn't really happen.

Hedwig: Hoot hoot! How the f*ck do you expect me to help you? I'm a f*cking owl!

Dumbledore: Don't worry I'm here to save the day! With the Potter Puppet Pals!

JK: Wha—

Sakurai: Shut up, it's time for the Potter Puppet Pals!

Voldemort: Aw hell no! Thou shalt use no puppets against me!

The dark lord used his powers to destroy the puppets.

Sakurai: Hey!

Ebony: Itz ma tern 2 rite da stray!

Enoby waked in threw da door! GC was playin on her goffic blak ipod!

Ebony: Olny a goff kan beet semen as preppy az Volsemert!

she ussed a goffic gun an sexily blew up Vlodemort!

Voldemort: Thou hath killed thy!

He dedded know!1 An Drako waked in!11

Draco: Ebony, you've done so much for all of us! The only way for us to repay you is to pleasure you sexually!

Everywun started to do you-know-what with enoby! Draco put his boy thingie in her girl thingy and they did it!

Ebony: Oh oh Draco!1

Then ebony got an organism as Draco got a erudition! And then...

Dumbledore: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!

Sakurai: I always wanted to say that.

JK: What the serious f*ck just happened?

Ebony: Dont circumcise mi riding stile u f*kin prep!1

Navi: Maybe we should start a different scene, written by someone besides Ebony.

Ebony: F*k u!

Link: Hug, fyne!

Harry and Ginny were making out in Professor Snape's room! Luna was there, and she was eating some cake, and Ron was looking at her sadly.

Luna: Why are you staring at me? Are you annoyed that I am the only one who has cake?

Navi: Isn't that a line from Dea—

L: Shut up!

Luna: Now, we must catch Kira!

Navi: Alright, I'll show you!

Luna had her name written in a Death Note and died of a heart attack

Luna: Not my only weakness! I'm dead.

Hermione: Harry, don't you think that this is a bad place to do this?

Harry and Ginny didn't care and continued to french passively.

Ginny: Mpmpmmmmnm.

Ginny couldn't talk because they were making out the whole time.

Harry: OH, BLOODY WANKER YOU BIT MY TOUNGE! BLOODY HELL! I'M BLOODY BLEEDING!11

Snape: Harry Potter, what were you doing with Ginny?

Harry: DEFINATELY NOT BLOODY FRENCHING!1

Snape: What a pity, Potter, that you're going to detention!

Harry: OH BLOODY HELL I DON'T WANT TO GO TO DETENTION YOU BLOODY WANKER!1

Snape: Well you don't have to go to detention...if you make out with me!

Harry: BLOODY OKAY!11

JK: Wait, what?

They started making out, when Professor McGonagall walked in!

McGonagall: Neigh!

Navi: Um...Epona? You know that McGonagall isn't a horse, right?

Epona: Whoops.

McGonagall: What do you two think that you're doing? Student-teacher relationships are against the Hogwarts rules! I'm taking you to Dumbledore!

Later, they were taken to Dumbledore's office.

McGonagall: Headmaster Dumbledore, these two were making out during class!

Dumbledore: Well, this is a strange occurrence. But it looks like it can be easily solved...with a dance party!

Everyone was teleported to a club with funky music playing in the background! Now everyone is ready to dance and par-tay! Suddenly, Dumbledore teleports onto the stage and begins to rap!

Dumbledore: Sonorus!

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'll get to the point.

I'm Dumbledore, and I run this joint.

I've gone by many names, like Dumblydore and Dumblecop,

But when I start dancing I just can't stop.

I may be old, but I've kept my looks at this age.

And I'm unbeatable, the world's best mage!

Do you want to mess with me now?

I'll put my hand up your ass like a Potter Puppet Pal!

In case this rap is starting to bore,

It is time for me to get down on the dance floor!

(Dumbledore starts to break dance)

Everyone: Dumbledore!

Dumbledore: Albus Dumbledore!

Everyone: Dumbledore!

Dumbledore: Headmaster Dumbledore!

Everyone: Dumbledore!

Dumbledore: I'm a boss on the dance floor!

Snape: He's got the best body!

Harry: AND HE'S NOT A BLOODY WANKER!11

Hermione: Wait, what should I rhyme with that, maybe...banker?

Link: Navi you're messing up this cool rap!

Navi: Fine, I guess I'll just shut my trap.

JK: I don't know what's happening, but it's actually pretty fun!

McGonagall: Everyone loves that son of a gun!

Ginny: Except for maybe Ebony.

Ebony: I hat him cuz hes preppy!1

Navi: What does that even mean?

Snape: At least he's really sexy!

Ebony: He hass bad fashin cents and shoold go 2 hot topic!

Navi: Isn't this getting a little off topic?

Link: Did u really just ryme topic and topic?

Navi: Hey, I'm new at this, you idiotic—

Sakurai: Guys, this is getting out of hand!

Navi's right, you're way off topic, man.

Fukura, finish this rap as Hedwig!

Fukura: Okay, I'll do it! Raps are what I dig!

(Hedwig flies in and picks up a mic.)

Hedwig: Hoot hoot! I'm an owl!

I don't play foul,

But I'll take your f*cking wands and shove them right up your bowels!

I'll scratch you up like an angry itch,

Because I'm Hedwig, you little b*tch.

I'm a strong Strigiform!

I'm so smart, think Perdue!

I'm a living snowstorm!

I'm almost done with all your voodoo!

You can't get to the center of my Tootsie Pop!

And I'll end this rap with a f*cking mic drop!

There's one thing for me to tell you wizards:

If you fight this snowy owl, you'll get the blizzard!

BOOM!

(Hedwig drops the mic and flies away.)

JK: Huh. That was strangely appealing.

Sara joined the chat.

Navi: Good goddesses...

Sakurai: Oh sh*t!

Fukura: Oh f*ck!

JK: Who's she?

Sara: Hairy Pitter is agenst God!

JK: Bloody Hell! I think she's the chick who sent me some hate mail last week!

Sara: U santa warshipping ateist! majic is evel an u ar 2! Tha onle god Hare Podder ting is the Hergwerts skool of preyrs and Miracls!

Sara has been blocked from the chat.

Navi: That's better. Now how do we finish the story?

30 Hs Harry joined the chat.

30 Hs Harry: I think I have an idea.

Harry promptly revealed the bloody groinsaw that has been concealed from beneath his cloak of darkness, filled to the brim with the crying souls of Santa-worshipping werewolves. "This is becoming idiotic!" screeched McGonagall of the time corpse.

Without further adieu, the teenage Satan-slayer decimated her entire body with the light power, emerging from Betelgeuse's core. He could hear the screams of the children in Hogwarts, and he smiled as it evaporated into the sky, as if it never existed. Draco was sleeping on the lawn, now covered in blood. "I'm going to relish this moment for the eternity spent in the Canadian Hell-scape," he whispered, chopping off his hand and kicking it into the blackest black hole of them all. The universe was completely purple by now. Draco was dreaming of Nachos.

JK: Well, that was interesting.

Navi: I guess we're done with this role play.

JK: I'm glad I don't have to stay here anymore. See ya!

JK Rowling left the chat.

Ben: Hey, I didn't get to do anything!

Link: Yea, watever. Itz relly hard to write out Hargrids acsent anywyes.

Ben: I wanted to do the role play, so I'm going to get revenge if you don't play with me.

Navi: Link, I think I'd listen to him.

Link: No, i don wanna. u donut gett 2 play.

Ben: Mwahahahahaha...

Link: Whater u doin? AH MY COMPERTERS GLITCHING!11111

Ben: That's because I'm possessing it you idiot!

Link: AHHHHHHHHHH! Yere scarrin mii

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AN: Wow, dis is property my longest cheepter yet! Yester day was my Narginal Horrors Sociality ceremoney! 2 bad tim was their. I sawed the Pokemans Son and Mun trallers! It locks sew col! Teem Rowlet!