Tingles Raveng: The Tingling Chapter 36: Squid or Kid, a legend of zelda fanfic

Chapter 36: Squid or Kid

AN: Hoy i Wendt too Metrocon in Tampa! In Meteorcon Tempo, I did a bunch off cool stuffs! I dresed ip as a Inklang squiddy! But I also had 2 miss da fennel Slutfest in Slutoon! At least Marii wun! Teem Mary! I liek da yere a squeed yere a keed song a bunch! You're a kid now! You're a squid now! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're definitely not Tim, though, cause he be stupid. Dumb timmy. Squids and other Sefliepods are cool but tim isnt.

Chapter Therdyfiev Recap!: Lank and Navy tank aboot da baboes, navi wants 2 but da baobys up 4 adopted, lonk wants 2 keep dem, malen gets mad but feelz butter when she ghets 2 mutilate Zelda's body, that green guy tries 2 but the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabys in da micowave, navi trees 2 stpop him, she nocks him oot and saevs da bebbs, Beel and Teed tak da bobbies bach in tim, loink fines fish sticks, Malon does corpse art, and chrum steels da fishick.

Chaptre beggin!

Lonk was playin his fav gaem, Slutoon! "I heave an ideal!" hella kittened. "I ken ghogh intwo Spleliin an get da grate zepfish to give us Powers dat can beet Tinhle!"

"And how do you expect we go inside Splatoon?" Navi questioned.

"Liek dis!" Link exclammed, throwing a random portal opener at the TV, sucking them both inside!

Later:

"Where am I," Navi said as she woke up.

"Wear in Inkerpolis!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yepsadoodles, i terlaperted us dere, and know wii jest knead 2 get da greet Zeepfishy."

But den, da teevee came on! On it was Callee an Marii, da squiid sisters!

Callie: Hold on to your tentacles...

Marie: It's Inkopolis News time!

Callie: Before we reveal today's stages, some special news!

Marie: What is it? What is it?!

Callie: We've received word from... on high.

Marie: You don't mean...?!

Callie: That's right! There's going to be a Splatfest soon!

Marie: OOH! What's the theme? What's the theme?!

Callie: Just a moment! The theme is descending as we speak!

Marie: Let's see it! Let's see it!

Callie: Aaaand it's here! We've got the Splatfest theme!

Marie: Let's hear it! Let's hear it!

Callie: All right then, I'll announce the theme!

Marie: *gulp*...

Callie: The theme for the upcoming Splatfest is...

Marie: Wait for iiiiiit...

Crack vs Heroin!

Callie: Yes! I've always wanted to do this one!

Marie: Of course you did.

Callie: On one side, our favorite powdery substance! No, not powdered sugar...CRACK!

Marie: And on the other, the only injection that anyone would ever want...HEROIN!

Marie: So Callie, what drug do you like the best?

Callie: Well, of course I'd have to say crack. But, I, like, never took drugs before, so it's difficult to tell.

Marie: Please, I saw you beaming up to Scotty this morning. I am open with my drug use, so I say heroin!

Callie: Ew, why would you want to stab yourself with a needle!

Marie: Wow, you're such a baby, Callie.

Callie: I'm not a baby! I just don't like drugs! Say no to drugs, kids!

Marie: Yeah, sure.

Callie: What about you at home? It's time to decide!

Marie: Head over to the Pledge Box and pick a side!

"Woww!" lanked link. "I wunder withch sied i shold bee on! Mebbe I shold kall Water White 2 fined oot wat sied 2 b onn!"

Lonk picked up teh phone and tiped in Walter's number.

Meanwhile, Watter was sitting at home, smoking weed everyday and doing other MLG stuff. Then his phone rang, and he answered it, picking up the phone and answering the phone after it rang. His ringtone was an MLG airhorn. "Hello?" the dank man asked.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIII Itz mii lonk and i wanna know wats butter, crak or heroine?"

"Wait, i do both with you sometimes! Why dont u no witch is the best?"

"Itz becase ive try every tipe of drug, and i cant remeber witch is da Bastet."

"Wait," whispered the drug dealer. "U sed try, triangles have try in them, ILLUMINATI CONFERMED!111111111"

Walter and Link both screamed for about five minutes while running in circles.

"Okai," Watari Write said, eating Doritos. "i liek crack da best, because its like pixie sticks!"

"Okeeeee!" linked he the green guy. and then he hanged up da phone. "i no wat teem ill bee on now! ime one teem crack!"

"Wait, what about the Great Zapfish?" Navi asked.

"F*CK DA ZAPFEESH NAVI I WANNA DO THE SPLATFEST!111111111 O yeah, i just remembered thet there r squieeeds evrywhere! So I better sing da song!"

"Oh, goddesses," Navi groaned.

"You're a kid now! You're a squid now! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid!"

"OH MY F*CKING ARCEUS, JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP!" screamed Navi.

"No! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a squid! You're..."

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—!"

Meanwhile:

A sexy tentacled octopus was cuddling his tiny lover. "So, Moe," he whispered.

"Yes, my sexy beast, DJ Octavio?"

"Today we will fight back against the people who screwed us over previously!"

"Yes, I remember! Those f*cking Inklings destroyed your people! And now we will destroy them!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!11111111111111111111" they both laughed evilly.

"Now lets do some tentacle sex!" yelled Moe.

"Hell, yeah!"

The next day:

"You're a kid! You're a squid! You're a kid! You're a—!"

Navi passed out the night earlier from banging her head too hard against the wall.

"Well, i guess eye sang te song for enouf. O, loook da Slutfest is starting!"

Navi woke up and saw Link wearing a shirt with crack cocaine on it.

"Coomon itz starting!"

"You know we had a plan, right?"

Link ignored her and ran over to see the Squid Sisters about to start a song, with a loud crowd of Inklings watching.

"Okay, everyone!" exclaimed Callie. "We've got a song for you today, and we're mixing it up!"

"That's right!" yelled the superior Squid Sister. "This song is from thousands of years ago! Here we go!"

"My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't,

My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!"

The audience started to look very confused, while Link ran to the front and started twerking.

Meanwhile:

An Inkling walked into Annie the sea anemone's store, Cooler Heads, and Moe was floating around her head.

"Hi, may I please have—,"

Moe interrupted him. "WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE ANOTHER POSER SQUID!1111"

"Excuse me?"

"YOU'RE SO F*CKING LAME!1111 WHY ARE YOU EVEN SHOPPING HERE, YOU F*CK!111111" The Inkling ran out of the store crying, as Moe shot double middle fingers at him. "THAT'S RIGHT!11111 LEAVE, YOU B*TCH!111111111111"

Annie looked worried. "Moe, you're...um...scaring the customers."

"I DON'T GIVE A SWIMMING F*CK YOU INVERTEBRATED CU—!" Moe was interrupted by his phone ringing. "I'll answer that." He answered the phone, answering it. "Hello?"

"The plan is about to begin."

Moe quickly ran out of the store, with an evil grin on his face.

"Moe, where are you going!" yelled Annie. The tiny clownfish flicked off Annie, as he continued running.

Later:

Link was still twerking, and the Squid Sisters where still singing Anaconda, even after an hour.

Navi yawned. "Well, this is boring."

Suddenly, an explosion was heard on Inkopolis Tower! The music stopped, and everyone looked over to the source! And it was...Octavio! He was in a giant robot suit, and he played Skrillex music on his turntable.

"Wazzup, b*tches! I sea that you guys still suck! But anyway, you losers are about to be schooled!

"Octavio, you asshole!" screamed Marie. "You interrupted our Splatfest!"

"I don't give a carp! Anyway, I'm more of a meth guy myself."

"You aren't going to get away with this!" exclaimed Callie. "We beat you last time, and we'll beat you again!"

"Yes, my last plan tanked, but I have someone on my side this time. He told me the locations of every zapfish, and they're all powering my robot suit! He also told me the layout of Inkopolis, so now I have the advantage! Oh, and by the way, I have my entire army with me." And he wasn't lying, as hundreds of Octarians super jumped behind him.

"Oh sh*t!" gasped Marie.

"But who is the mole in Inkopolis?" Callie asked.

"I am!" yelled Moe, hiding in the suit. "I would've revealed myself earlier, but I was orally pleasuring Octy."

Annie was shocked. And a little disturbed, as everyone else was. "But...but...Moe! You were my only friend!"

"F*ck you, b*tch. I love Octavio now! His tentacles always pleasure me!" Octavio and Moe demonstrated this, causing everyone to get sick.

"Now, where is Cuddlefish?" the sexeh Octopus wondered. On a nearby bench, sleeping through the whole thing. He slapped him with a tentacle, waking him up.

After yawning, he realized what was happening and howled. "Holy sh*t, how did you get out of the globe?"

"My lover, Moe, released me. And now I'm going to kill you! But only after I kill that damn cat, Judd. I hate that guy.

"Meow," meowed Judd, before Octavio shot the Killer Wail at him, blasting him into bits.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111111111111111" everyone screamed, as Judd is the best.

Much to the DJ's surprise, Judd's remains began to reform, and he soon was his usual self. "Meow," he meowed, which translates to, "Did you really think you could defeat me? I am immeowtal, and it is impawssible to destroy me. Now die, b*tch! The cat launched himself at the octopus.

"Oh, sh*t! Minions, attack!" The Octolings and other Octarians began charging at the Inklings, who prepared to fight back.

Navi was there, too, in case you forgot. "Okay," she thought. "Now that he's distracted, now would be the time to fight back."

The fairy flew up into the control panel of his suit and began pulling at wires, until it started to malfunction. "What's happening to my suit?! Is this the end? AM I ABOUT TO DIE?!111"

"Quick, my love," Moe said to him. "Lets bang one last time before we die!" And so they did, grossing everyone out. It was kinda hot though. (AN: If u wanna see more Octopus and Clownfish sex, but explained in detail, reed my other story, Fly Me to the Moon: Tentacles of Desire.)

The suit blew up, but instead of killing the duo, it launched them into the sky like Team Rocket.

"Wow, you saved Inkopolis!" Callie yelled to Navi.

Navi smiled. "My pleasure! Wait, where's Link?" She looked over to him, realizing that he was still twerking. "What the hell? Where you twerking the whole time? Did you even notice Octavio and Moe?"

"Water u taking aboot, Nazi. Whose Octavian an Moo?"

Navi facepalmed. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Or shold you say squidding me! HAHAHAHA!111111 o yea i forgetted, i havent singed da squid kid song in a wheel! butter dew it now!"

"NOOOOOO!1111111111" everyone screamed.

"OH, SH*T, HERE IT COMES!" Navi shrieked.