Chapter 40: Blair Bitch Project

AN: We're already to 40! I was just joking when I said that I hoped we'd get to this number on the 20th chapper! But now that we're here, I'm not stopping any time soon. That's right, I still have a lot more stuff to write about! I got some extra time to wright freyday since school was cancelled in Sumter county cuz Hurrycain Hermione. But it wasn't eeven dat bahd today, sew i don't no y it was canceed. and the futbol game was canceled 2, so i dident ghet 2 plai in da band. But don't worry, as I got my very first prompt challenge!, courtesy of DJ Twitch on fanfiction dot net! Here it is!:

I wunna c Blair da bich- I meen, Blare de witch get sluty with Lank and evry1 else get jelus

That's a really good idea, and I'm going to use it for dis chapper! I like the idea sew mucho gusto that dis is canon 2 the story! I wanna shoot timmy oout of da cannon bach 2 China!

Chapter Therdynien Recap!: PROMT CHERLANGE, Bil treenan films secs tape wif sailer moan cosplay guy cactern and mermadook, sakeree coams in an gets mand, fockera is mad 2, billy desids 2 tern strat, he trees 2 kirses gril, he gets purple sreyed, cat and Asian deside 2 troll and sex, dose otter gys steel da sax tape and get ritch, an dere famouse now!

Chaptre beggin!

The Tingling Sensation was partyin all nite because dats wats cool! Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and! Tingle was floating around in a balooooon and Epona was jumping over those pole things like in the alympicks, and WAldo was hiding, and Hannival was eatin peeps, and L was eatin candeis, and Ben was doinf a weird glitchy dance, and Octaveo was tentacel sacs ing with Moo, and Blur was flashing peple becase she s a salute.

Bot also, Lonk was hideng out side behind a tree 2 fite them! "I MUST KIL THAM WITH STEALTHS!1111"

"Link," Navi frantically whispered, "Don't be so loud, they can—," But right then, she had a scaryful realization. "Link, that...that isn't a tree."

"Yes it iz, u losser!" Lik repelled. "Here, look!" Link poked the tree with a stick, until a hand reached out to grab it. "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!111111111111111111" link screamed.

"Oh, hi!" said Waldo. "I hope you like my tree costume, I worked really hard on it!"

"Well, shi—," Navi said, before they were both chloroformed.

Later:

Navi woke up, tied up in a dark room. Tingel was there too, with an eliv grin on his face. "So, Navi I see that you're awake."

"Come on, Tingle. Just let me out."

"Well, u were the ones splying on us."

"You know I didn't even want to come with Link? But I had to. The Great Deku Tree forces me to follow Link, whether I like it or not. F*ck the Deku Tree. He used to be perfectly fine until those...those f*cking fanfiction goddesses f*cking made everyone out of character."

"I'm fine with everyone being Ouija charactar, since now I'm soooo much better than I used to be. Younger me was just so lame. But my luv of fairies still remains. You know, Navi? I've always liked you. Someday I'll be just like you. But now that I have you in captivity, I guess we'll just have to watch the Tinker Bell movies together!"

F*ck my life, Navi thought. Poor Navi.

Meanwhiiiiile, Blair the slutty cat and sexeh Octavimoe were assigmed 2 watch Lonk in his holding cell. Octavio and Moe weren't paying any attention, since they were tentacle hentaing in the closet.

"Wheer im aye?" he arsked.

"We have you held captive!" Blair said, while nekkid.

"Wow, u hot!" Lnk said turntabled on. "Can u sex wif mii?"

"You know I have standards, right?"

"Oh." Link was sad.

"Just kidding, I don't have any standards! Sexy time!"

"Yay!"

Later:

Tingle walked in with the rest of the team to check on Link. "Wait, where'd Link go?!"

"What are you talking about?" meowed Blair.

"You were supposed to make sure Link didn't get away!"

"Oh, I thought you wanted me to have sex with Link and then let him go!"

"Dammit, Blair! You need to listen to instructions! I said that no one in the team can ever sleep with the enemy!"

"Why?" meowed the tart. "You slept with him, too."

"WHAT?!" everyone yelled.

"Heh..." Tingle scratched the back of his head.

EARLEIR:

Link was eating some shrimp fried rice at home, when Tenga juped in! "Im gonna get chu!"

"O no!" link treid 2 get a weapen, but instead he accidentally turned on some sexy music and the lights turned down. Den thea both got really turned on.

Later:

"Link," Navi said after running in. "You left the oven on and your house is on fi—," When she looked in, she saw Link suckling on Tingle's man bobs. She instantly turned around and started walking away. "Nope...nope...nope..."

NOW:

"Seriously," said L, "What is wrong with you people? Just stop sleeping with everyone."

"Please," Blair meowed. "You're just sayin that cause you're a virgin."

"No I'm not," L said straight faced, although he was secretly crying inside.

"It doesn't matter, we can recapture Lonk another tim," Tingle said. "Now, lets do some evil stuff!" And so they did evil stuff like spreading Communist propaganda and writing fanfiction.

Later:

LInk was at ome with his friends like walter and salesman and snap and loopin and mr bonding and old man. and inkay for some reason. "Inkay, Inkay!

"Hey link, where wear u todya?" asked Old Man.

"I was sexing with dat cat blair."

"You did?!" everyone yelled.

"Man, she's really hot!" exclaimed Snap, who was making out with Loopin. "Good job man!" And now everyone else was really jealous of Link, even though Blair sleeps with basically everyone, so I don't know why it is such an accomplishment. But, whatever.

"I have an idea," said Mr. Bonding.

"What?"

"It's bonding time!"

Later:

Melon walked in. "Hay Link (AN: GEDDIT) wat have u ben doin toddies?"

"I had sec wif blair da cat!"

"WHAT!? NO ON HAS SES WIF MIE LONK!11111111111" and den she wanted raveng.

Later, blair was hangin aroond at da Castiel, before Malon falcon punched the door open. "DIE BLAR YOU BITCH!"

"It's pronounced witch, ya know. And I'm not a witch, I'm a cat. Meow!"

"I DONT CARE JUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U SLEPT WITH LINK AND NOONE KEN SPULEO WITHL INK NOQW DIEIEIEIEIIEEEEEEEEE!1111111111111111`~1111"

"Okay, lets fight!"

Bliar knew that this sh*t was real when Malon turned Super Salmon. "ITZ OVER 7000!" Malone yelled because that's what she thought super santa's yelled.

Then Link and da gang wanked up! "Hay look, a cat fight!11" (AN: GEIT!)

But some other cats came up after hearing there was a cat fite and punched marin away becase shes not a cat and then they had a literal catfight with blair. Meowth and the sexy alola form were there and rover from animal cursing was there 2 and Felicia the slutty nun cat was there and keyboard cat was smashing people with a keyboard and those cats from thos e warrior cat books where a buncha catds die were there too and they all fited. Sakurai and Fukura were watching from a distance because it was really hot.

"WOw, this is fun!" lonk dlkfed. "It's a god thing im not forgeting anything.

Meanwhile:

"So, Navi, now that we've seen every Tinker Bell movie, we can now watch every other movie about fairies like Winx Club and Tooth Fairy and Ferngully!1"

"F*ck. My. Life."

AN: DAts ool 4 today! Thank u 4 da prompt challeng, dj twitch! Other peoples, please tell mii a challernge ideal 4 later! I challenge peple 2 beet up timm! But anywai, ill try to have a nu chickter before lung!

Next time on Tingles Raveng: The Tingling:

One time a penguin wrote a tv show. It was called The Office. THE END.