Chapter 52: Dampe THE UNDERTAKER
AN: Muy bienes guys! I hop u lieaked dis lest chapter! I wanted to introduce a new character for this chapter, and if you have any ideas for my next chapters, tell me in the comments! Also, that prompt challenge is still ungoing sew if u haev in ideal TELL MII OR ELSE. Bythe way, I takened the SATs last Wodnesday! I hop I beeted timmy but if he beat me its only because he cheated because he's Asian and that's cheting.
Chaptre Fifteywun Recap!: Jelly's goona kill dem, Heavy vinds an escape, Guzzle safes them, EPIC CHACE, Lonk throews out Gazette, Lillian throws grandest, Link is antiemetic, SUPER SCARY, Lank shoots navi and she days, da cars scratch, Nebby has a bag time, Glacier treis 2 stope Trillby, NEbby putes Grillby in da bag, she dies, everyone is happy, EPIDOLGE!
Chaptre beggin!
One day therre was this geyosy named Dampay and he had a graveyard because it was next to the church and he could go into the cherch and pretend to be quasimoto. but hten one day since buseness was running low, he decided he was goning to find peeps to fill it up himself and keel them. Now he kills criminals and calls himself dampe THE UNDERTAKER! He's basically just the punisher now.
Later:
Damp was lookin for someone too kale and then he realized that he should kill LINK! "Dis is jest da tape of filth dat I knead 2 cleans da word of! Hes a merderer and arsonist and he voted for Trump an eh must DIE!" Dope muts avenger the deaths of his dead wife and kids. And so Donkey was ready 2 hunt down that bitch link.
Mean wheel:
lonk was at home watching his fav show the Nutshack. He was obsessed with The Nutshack and she forces Navi to watch it with him and he dresses up for Halloween as Tito Dick "Dickman" baby, he raised Phil and loves the ladies. He also worships the theme song and uses it as his ringtone and plays it everyday or as you say in the Filiphenes, todos los diablo. "NAVY LOOK DA NUTSNACK IS COMBING ON!"
"Do you really need to scream that every time a new episode begins? We've been watching the same episode of this piece of shit show for the past five hours, and goddesses, I wish I was dead."
"SHUT UP NAVIEIEIIEIRUEIR THE THEME SUNG IS BENIGN! It's da nootshack! its da nate snack! Itsp fa Nyte shick! Idkl dkaj nuthsakck! Idhfkl dklfhghd netghelgfhdf! Pit's the knit shack! Ate the peanuts hack! Usted la NATO shack! Es fa Ninja shack! It thu snake shack! Fate's the butte shack! Tis be the shack! Pills frame da store! Macs theme the Polite! Horario yo Borat sew benign! Theo Tick "Thiccman" Pave! He fazed Bill and hugs the laddies! Jakes cold hes lanky hes stale leonine, oversize Gary Pi still a version. Cheetos Fritos meat the fleek on the heathen. Still's phone girl but Juke wakes 2 crêpe her. But its nut harpooning aether snaking like a sneaker. Hold cup bet mii snark these fake a briefer. Bathe that briefers in my lounges. I gut gramps what you Warhol sun. EETZ DA NOUT SHOKE! OI DTHE HATE SNAKE! HITS THE FUTILE SPECKLED! GETS THE NUTELLA SNACK~!"
"SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER! HEY, LISTEN! IS ANYONE THERE!?"
"Shoot up Nazi I cant hear da show!"
But then suddenlky Dank the Undertale shot the door out with a Marcin gun! "Hay u interepted my fav show!" lnkn knled
"Preparations to die!" yelled Dampness. and then he threw down a domb and it blasted Navi all the way into Dark Pit's house! And he was watching AMIME?!
"What the f*ck?!" exclaimed Dark Pit because he was mad that he couldn't say f*ck without it being censored.
"Um..." said Navi. "Sorry about that. I was kind of...blasted away by an angry vigilante hunchback who broke into Link's house and threw down a bomb."
"I was just watching anime ironically, I don't actually like it," said Dark Pit edgily. Then they sat in awkward silence for a while.
"So..." Navi said, breaking the silence. "What ever happened with Icarus and everything?"
"Well..."
FLASHBACK:
Icarus was walking around, when he saw in the distance...Green de la Bean?!
"Bean? Is that you?"
"Bitch you guessed it," said Bean.
"I haven't seen you in years, Beanicus!"
"Hey wanna date," bean said beanily and loudly.
"But Bean-senpai-icus! I would like to, but...I have an evil villain living in my head that wants to destroy the world!"
"You friccin moron! I'll take care of that!" And then he shot a sound wave so strong that Erebus was completely destroyed, never to return, and then Icarus and Bean got together and lived happily ever after. Icarus/Bean, best ship 10/10 (it's canon).
PRESENT:
"I can't believe my stepdad is a f*cking green bean," Pittoo grumbled.
"Hmm..." said Navi, probably thinking about how beautiful of a pairing that was.
"So...wanna go with me and Lucas to grunch?" asked Dank Pillow.
"Grunch?"
"It's brunch but edgy. The 'g' stands for gothic."
"Okay," replied Navi and then they all got super wasted.
MEANWHILE:
"Oka now I'm gonna keel u!" sed Donde the Uppertaker.
"F*k." said link.
MEANWHILE:
Malon was at the farm like she usually is, committing mass murder. She had dozens of girls dat link slept with and was goinna kill all of dem brutally.
"Wow dis is goona bee sew much fun!" she said. A few chicks were hanging from ropes with only chairs under them so Mettaton shot out the chairs AN THEY CHOCKED 2 DEF. Den she snapped her fingers an a shark tank opened up and ate some chicks.
"Oh yah, I need 2 work on my artworks!" she yelled because if you remember back to that one chapter, Mallow is an artist that makes artworks out of dead people. Her dad Talon disapproves of her carrerr in art because he's the don of the Arrivederci crime family, and he wants her to do some Italian Mafia stuff instead. The reason why they live on a farm is that it is an easy place to get horse heads to put in people's beds.
"i should work on my Jacksin Polluck paintings!" said Mutation. Then she put a canvas next to some chicks that were tied up and then her arm turned into a giant katana which she chopped them into pieces and their blood splattered onto the canvas and made a panting that looked like one by Jaxen Potluck.
"i butter see how Lank's doin," she said to a girl whose throat she was slitting, "so i beter finish this up quichely!" and then she covered the ground in gasoline and threw a Molotov cocktail down on it and left the rest of the peeps to burn.
LATER:
"ha now u die," said Drampa the Caretaker.
But then a random wig fell down on his head just as Melanoma walked by and she thought it was a girl! "Who da F*CK IS DIS!"
Malon was so mad that she turned into One Punch Man and punched Dampé so hard his skin disintegrated and his skeleton was blasted into space at the speed of light, opening up a portal back in time and killing whoever thought Metroid: Other M was a good idea and so the game never came out and the world is a much better place. THE END.
MEANWHILE:
Nebby was at the store looking for bags to burn, when Tingle flew up! "Cosmog Nebuchadnezzar Pewton the Fifth,"
"Pew pew I mean I can speak English now hi."
"I have one question for you: how much do you hate bags?"
"I hate bags more that anything! They represent everything wrong with humanity!"
"Then I have a mishonh for you! A Mishonh From Tingle!"
"k"
and then Nebby joined Tingles team.
THE END~
AN: Well...this chapter was certainly something. Something that is stupid is Tim. Also Icarus/Bean is the best ship ever and if the HTK doesn't end with them getting together, then Merch is racist and sexist and homophobic and anti-Semetic and PROBABLY FROM FLORIDA! By the way guys, I was wondering which character in the story is your favorite, and that favorite character poll that is on my fanfiction dot net profile is still there! If your fav character isn't on it, then just tell me in the reviews and I'll add it as an option. Or if you don't feel like doing the poll, just tell me your favorite character in the comments. I'm not really sure what my favorite character in the story is. I like Navi because she's the Only Sane Man, and I like Sakurai and Fukura because they're the Big Goods, but I think I like to write Malon the most because of how insane she is. Anyway, tell me what you think, and pizza out!