Chapter 54: Da Birfdai Bash

AN: Guess what today is, bitches! That's right: ITS MY BIRFDAY! (This chapper was made on Merch 18st) Now im 17 and ken finally...actually not much is really different when you turn 17. When you turn 15 you can get your permit, when you turn 16 you can get your license, and when you turn 18 you're a legal adult, but when you're 17 NOTHING! But who gives a f*ck, IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY! I can cuss without sensering becase its my birthday. But I still don't have a Switch. SERIOUSLY NINTENDO, HOW HARD IS IT TO GET ENOUGH SWITCHES FOR PEOPLE TO BUY! Hopefully I can get it before long. Changing the subject, isn't the name of this chapter the same as some SSB fanfic someone wrote? I'm pretty sure Merch or someone wrote it, but correct me if I'm wrong. But cents tomay is mii birthgay, is will be sumone else es bithay 2! but WHO find out you slut.

Chaptre Fifteythrii Recap!: Tinging senation isnings crumpfire sungs, STORYTIM, nebbyone tales storys, Deponent has a Flash black, Link is evil an meaks Deforestation raec, YUM MEDIUM RARE CHICK STRIPS, horsee looses, haves to paid muns, Navi werks at Kenturkey Freed Chinking, Lunk totters Operon, Tyngle sieves hier, he teachers her the farce and flanks her death, Dally tems up with Saria, an Clod Angle joins 2!

Chaptre beggin!

One day Sakurai and his cat her sitting around. "What the f*ck are we doing here?" said Seppuku.

"I have no f*cking idea," meowed Fukura Station.

Later:

Carbuncle was sittin wif her daddy tangle. forming a hot ship so hot. (AN: In all seriousness, guys, doesn't Tinkle seem like a legitimately good ship? I mean, not with this creepy incest stuff, but canonically. REASONS WHY: 1. They both wear green. 2. They both wear hoods. 3. They make a cute couple. 4. They both wear clock-looking things. 4. Linkle has a bad sense of direction, but Tingle is a mapmaker! Isn't it so perfect?! In conclusion, Tinkle forever.)

But hen Fickle releszed some fuming! "Im preggers and LINK IS THE FLUFFER!"

"How dew u no dat?"

"i donno but its truu. BUt I cant have a babby that came frum dat anole! So I can juest half dem an den harvest dere organas and sell dem on da Bach Marche! BUT DAN I HALF 12 WANK Nein MUNTCH!"

"Good thing I happen to have this magical pregnancy speed up thing right here!"

And then tinglefdfdf shatted Linkle with da speedy thing sans da babs were borned. DAy were twiins!

"Holy fungi DERE HIDEOOSE!" helled Linkedin.

Since Link and Linkle incestly made them with their sick Kill la Kill cosplay sexy time a few chapters ago, their chillins were borne with birth defects. They had giant, mutant heads, cartoony and catlike eyes, and were cell shaded.

"Deay r ABOMINABLE SNOWMANS!" Dankle wormed. "IL SJEST KERL DEM NOW!"

"Or..." Tingle said. "We could have a sacrifice birthday party for the kids and sacrifice them to Demise! Wouldn't that be more fun?"

"YEOEUR RATE!" she sed.

"Now what do you think we should name them?"

"dat 1 loox like dat fickler Link but a cartoon swew ill nam him Toon Link! An dat gurl luks like a uuman virgin of Arthridis and alsa cumbined wif L so shell bee maned Aryll!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOON TO DIE KIDDIES!" exclaimed Yingyangle.

Letterman Jacket:

"NAVIE COMB HEAR LINKLE had twin bapies aND DERE MIEN! SHe posted it on Instagrum!"

On Instagram, it had a picture of Linkle and the babies, with the caption, "i jest had sum babs an sences derte loins im hosting a murder birthdi purty an EVERYUNS INVITTED xept 4 lonk."

Also, Tingle posted, "I'm so proud of my daughter, who just had twins! Also, congratulations to my son, Link, who's the father! Don't ask."

Replies:

Hannibal Lecter: Oooh, so cute and tender! I could eat them right up! ;)

BEN: What the hell, I thought I looked scary.

L: No wonder the goddesses decide to flood Hyrule.

Karen: Hey, cell-shaded graphics are underrated.

Tingle: Good thing we blocked Malon. Otherwise, she definitely wouldn't be happy.

Nebby: Now that's an understatement.

"WHat da f*cnkg wii half 2 kill da babs befo day dew~~! Com wif Rabi!" whne lonk called navi rabi that was just a typo, he wasn't calling her teacher. Link got out his trusty plastic sword and then he got out his phone to call Malon. "Megalovania, I hearded Linkle had a baby dat i preggernated her wif!"

Link felt the fabric of reality being torn apart.

"Wear is navy anyway!" link kicked oppan Navi's door, and Navi was...making out with a body pillow of Marie from Slutoon i mean Splatoon!

"Uh, I can explain!"

"NOWS NUT da TIM Nascar weve got some chillins to keel! And dere my kiddies! That i had wif my sister Linkel!"

"Wait, what the f*ck?"

Later:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Tingle and Linkle screamed at the babies as they were being lowered into the death pit. It was a huge party, and all of Tingle's friends were invited. (AN: I wish i cold half a birthday patty BUT I KANT BECADE I HAF NO FRANDS!)

Suddenly, all of the power went out and a glowing figure teleported into the room! Everyone could feel their energy being sapped away by the deadly figure. And it was...Malon! "WHERE ARE THEY?"

"Just in time," whispered Tingle. "They're right there!" He pointed to a random pillow lying on the floor.

A black whole opened up in the middle of the floor, absorbing the pillows before dissipating. "Now dat dis is taken 2 (AN: GEDIT) care off, I will funnel cake kill FRINDLE!"

Suddenly, before she could shoot a Hyper Beam at Lik's sister, sleeping gas started coming from the ceiling and knocked everyone out. Except for Tingle because he was wearing a gas mask!

"I've taken care of everyone," Epona said to Tingle over the phone.

"Good, now to fix the timeline."

And then Tingle got Bill and Ted to send Toon Link and Aryll to the future, where everyone looked cartoony like them, and they were adopted by some peeps i guess I kinda forgot what happened in that game it's been so long. Also, I know Aryll is younger than Link, but just pretend she was sent slightly forward into the future from where Toon Link was sent and that's why she's younger.

Anyway, and then everyone miraculously forgot about this event because Tingle put memory removal gas in with the sleeping gas or something I dunno.

AN: My birthday would be more fun if TIM DIDN"T EXIST F*CKING IDIOT! I even ran a race today BUT TIM WASN'T THERE LUCKILY and if he was I'd beat him anyway. Anyway, I've had a very fun birthday! Thank you everyone for reading, and stay tuned for some new action! PLS REVIEW!