Spencer laid flat on his back with his arms wrapped around Cat, her head propped on his chest. They were both dressed again and no longer speaking. Both were too emotional for words to matter anymore. Spencer's hand gently ran along her back.

His heart stopped when his phone started beeping. Cat sat up and looked at him with panic in her eyes. He shut off the alarm and climbed off the bed. He felt sick to his stomach as he made his way to her. She stood up and once again tears were forming.

He wanted to comfort her. To tell her everything would be alright, but he knew that was a lie. It wouldn't be alright. There was nothing he could do to save her life. The date was set and there was no turning back.

He bit his bottom lip as she took deep breaths. They heard a loud banging on the door. Spencer twisted his neck to look, as though he had no idea who it was. He turned back to Cat and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"It's time," he whispered wetly.

Cat nodded and he watched her spine straighten as she accepted her fate. She walked toward his closed bedroom door and reached for the knob. Just as she opened it, Spencer grabbed her arm stopping her. She looked to him questioningly.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.

She placed her hand on his cheek.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

With that she walked out of the room toward to front door, where someone started banging on it again. Cat unlocked the door and opened it, instantly raising her hands. J.J. pushed her way in to Spencer who lingered by the couch.

Luke was placing handcuffs on Cat, while Emily spoke to her. She must've told her where the kids were because Emily immediately sent Rossi and Matt away. Without a glance back, Cat was led away.

"Are you ok?" J.J. asked truly concerned.

"Yea," he lied, staring at the door as though Cat would come running back at any moment.

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not say," he replied before turning and walking back to his bedroom where he shut the door and locked it.

J.J. looked to Emily. Both of them concerned about what he was hiding.

(xxxxx)

Cat had spent her last week writing apologies. It wouldn't change what happened, but she felt this overwhelming urge to let everyone know that she understood the impact she had left behind. That she knew she deserved the death penalty and hoped it brought at least an ounce of closure to those affected by her actions.

The door to her cell opened. She took a deep, quivering breath as the guards cuffed her and led the way to the chamber. So many things were running through her mind, but what stood out the most was the amount of fear she felt. Her legs shook as she walked. Her stomach churned as she stepped into the room and saw the chair waiting for her.

As she sat down, she noticed not a single person was on the other side of the glass watching her. No family, no friends, and most importantly, no Spencer. Her head dropped and she started quietly sobbing. The guards strapped her to the chair that reminded her a little bit like a dentist chair, only it wasn't as comfy, and she wouldn't be tilted back as far.

Someone behind her started speaking, but she couldn't hear it. She was crying too hard. Her head pounded and her ears rang as she started to panic. I am so sorry to the people I made feel this way. God I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! Please! She hiccupped and lifted her head to rest it against the headrest. Her heart skipped a beat.

Standing in the other room, watching her with tears streaming down his face, was Spencer. She let out a gasp as she started crying harder. She heard someone behind her say something, but her mind was running a thousand miles an hour.

"Hey! You want to say anything?" the guard next to her yelled.

She jumped, startled by his appearance. She looked to Spencer, her eyes swollen and red. Her face blotchy and wet. She sniffled and took a deep breath.

"I wish I could undo everything I've done. I am so sorry," she said.

With that, the guard stepped forward with a blindfold.

"Please, I know I don't deserve it, but please don't blindfold me," she asked like a scared child.

The guard looked to his co-workers and then stepped away from her with the blindfold still in his hand. The executioner came forward and prepared her intravenously. Once completed he grabbed the needle and slowly injected it into her body. Cat's eyes held Spencer's as she shook with fear and sadness.

"I love you," she mouthed as she felt herself fading.

Spencer stepped forward and placed his hand on the glass. Moments later, her eyes rolled shut and not long after she was pronounced dead.

(xxxxx)

J.J. looked to Spencer's empty desk. He hadn't been to work since the night with Cat. She tried calling him, but he wouldn't answer her calls. She knew the others, including Morgan, had tried as well, with the same results.

"He's gonna be ok," Emily said catching J.J. off guard.

She looked at Emily and frowned.

"Is he mad at us? Should we have tried to find the kids without him having to spend time with Cat? Maybe he feels like we abandoned him or let him down," she said in distress.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Emily said as she knelt in front of J.J. and grabbed her hand. "Everything is going to be ok. It always is."

"But he needed us and we didn't –"

"Come with me," Emily interrupted as she stood up and walked toward her office.

J.J. followed, completely confused to why they were going to her office. Once J.J. stepped inside Emily shut the door.

"Sit down," she said gently, as she gestured to the chairs by her desk.

J.J. hesitantly walked over and sat down, expecting Emily to sit behind the desk, but she didn't. Instead she casually propped herself against it near where J.J. sat.

"I don't think this has anything to do with us," Emily said. J.J. looked at her in puzzlement. "J.J. I think he's fighting with himself. I think he did something that he is ashamed of or at least thinks he should be ashamed of."

"What?" J.J. said as her brow deeply furrowed. "What could he have possibly done that wasn't forced by Cat?"

Emily sighed and tucked her arms against her chest.

"That's the thing. I don't believe it was forced."

J.J. shook her head in frustration and confusion.

"Don't dance around it, Emily. What are you talking about?" she snapped, though not angry at her.

"I think Spencer fell in love with her," Emily said bluntly. J.J.'s jaw dropped, and her eyes widened. "I think something happened that night that changed everything."

"What? No way! That is crazy!" J.J. said loudly. "She drugged him! She had him sent to prison! She … she … she had his mom kidnapped for crying out loud! There's no way!"

"Think about it, Jen. Can you imagine the battle he is having with himself? He fell in love with an unsub and not just any unsub, the one who tried to ruin his life. Do you see how embarrassed, how disgusted, how confused he is about all of this?"

J.J. stood up and started pacing the room. She wanted to argue the point further but couldn't think of what else to say to defend Spencer. There was no way he would do this.

"I spoke to the warden at the correctional facility," Emily said, her face reading of bearer of bad news. "He said Cat's final words were 'I wish I could undo everything I've done. I am so sorry'."

"That doesn't mean anything. It was an act! She's always manipulating –"

"He said she was hysterical and that it was the most genuine he'd seen a death row inmate in a long time," Emily spoke over her.

"Liar! She's a liar!"

"Spencer was there."

That stopped J.J. in her tracks. Her face pale and shocked. Her eyes glassy and confused.

"He said he was crying and at one point placed his hand on the glass as though he was reaching for her. Said when she was pronounced dead … he dropped into an empty chair, wracked with grief."

"No," J.J. whispered as she shook her head.

Emily walked forward and wrapped J.J. in her arms. J.J. cried into Emily's shoulder as she tried to process everything she had just learned.

"What do we do?" she sniffled with her face still buried.

"I, honestly, don't know," Emily replied with her own set of tears slipping.

(xxxxx)

Spencer sat on his couch staring at the wall as he had done for the past two weeks. The amount of emotions running through him were so overwhelming, he felt like he would never find his way out. He felt like he was suffocating.

He heard a knock at his door. It wasn't anything new. Almost daily someone came by to visit. He never answered. They were persistent though, usually yelling to him through the door. It didn't make a difference though. Nothing anyone could say or do would help him untangle the web of confusion strangling him.

The knock was heard again. "Spencer? Spencer, honey, open the door please."

He jumped out of his seat and hurried to the door. He swung it open, without even considering his current state.

"Mom?"

Emily and J.J. stood next to his Mom, who was now holding his face in her hands.

"My poor baby, you haven't showered or eaten. Come on, let's take care of that," she said pushing her way in.

He looked to J.J. and Emily puzzled.

"Talk to her. I think it will help," Emily said softly, with a knowing look in her eye.

"And then, maybe you'll be willing to talk with us," J.J. said hopefully.

Her own eyes filled with sympathy and pain. The kind of pain you feel when you love someone so much and you know they are hurting and can't fix it. They didn't wait for him to respond before walking off.

"Let us know when you are finished talking and we'll come back for her," Emily said as they descended the wooden stairs.

Spencer waited until they were out of sight and closed his door, locking it again. He wandered to the kitchen to see his Mom looking through the cabinets. She looked great. She was still in the lucid state that had surprised him only weeks ago.

"You don't have a lot of food," she said as she closed the cabinets. "Why don't we order some Chinese food? You go take a shower and by the time you're finished the food should be here."

"Mom why are you here?" he said.

"Emily told me everything honey," she said as his face popped with surprise. "It's ok. Everything is going to be ok. Now, go shower and we'll talk while we eat."

Spencer hesitated, but when his Mom shot him that 'I'm serious' look, he shuffled off to the bedroom.

(xxxxx)

"Are you going to eat any of that soup or stir it until it magically dissolves," Diana asked.

Spencer had been staring at his soup, not taking a bit out of anything in front of him. He shrugged his shoulders while continuing to stir it.

"So, what happened?" she said, placing her spoon down and turning her attention fully to him.

"What do you mean what happened? I thought Emily told you everything," he muttered.

"I want to hear it from you. The truth," she said.

"The truth? You want the truth? The truth is I'm an awful, despicable person. I fell in love with a monster. What does that make me?" he cried as he threw his spoon across the room.

Diana didn't flinch. She watched him with soft, loving eyes. She reached out and placed her hand on top of his. He looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"Spencer, you grew up surrounded by chaos and mental illness. You grew up learning to see people for who they really are deep inside. Besides being a profiler, you always had a gift for seeing past people's walls. It's why you never stopped taking care of me, even at my worst," she said.

"Mom, you never killed anyone. It's completely different."

"Her transgressions were different from mine, but a sane person doesn't do the things that she did, Spencer. Whatever happened in her past destroyed her possibility for a healthy future."

"She tried to have you killed!" Spencer yelled.

"Which, I'm well aware of. I'm not condoning what she did. I'm not saying that I forgive her for what she did to you and me. I'm not saying I am happy you fell in love with her. What I'm saying is you aren't an awful person for being the only one who could find something good in her. We don't get to choose who we love."

Spencer buried his face in his hands.

"I feel so confused," he whimpered. "I hate myself for loving her and I hate myself for missing her and wishing it would've been different."

It was quiet for a moment as Spencer cried into his hands. He heard his Mom shift in her seat.

"When you were little, probably about 5 or 6. You were outside playing in the yard when I heard you crying. I ran out to see what was wrong and your father was holding a shovel, panting. Apparently, while you were examining rocks by the garden, a rattlesnake had made its way toward you.

"Your father just happened to look up from planting a flower and saw it only a few feet from you, wiggling its tail in warning. You had just turned around to look at it, when your dad hit it with the shovel, cutting its head off.

"You were crying because he had killed, what you referred to as an 'innocent creature'. You didn't care that your life was in danger. You blamed yourself for being in the snake's path. If you hadn't been in his garden, your dad wouldn't have needed to kill him. We couldn't get you to see it any other way."

Spencer looked at her annoyed. He clearly felt the story had no relevance to his predicament.

"Spencer, you are a lover. You are a man who has always had a heart that wore rose colored glasses. Despite the worst, you always find the good. And I believe that whatever you saw in that woman, whatever she exposed to you, was significant enough that the bad she had done no longer mattered to you. You saw someone lost and genuine and you wanted to save her. Just like the snake. Poisonous or not, it deserved another chance."

Tears streamed from his eyes as he let her words settle around him.

"Mom, she never stood a chance. The things that were done to her when she was a child … she was so angry. She was tortured by her past with no understanding of a healthy outlet. At the end, she had so much remorse –"

"You know how addicts fight hard not to quit their addiction? How they become hateful and resentful of the person who is trying so hard to save them?" Spencer nodded. "The reason she fought you so hard … you chipped away at her armor. Every time you were with her you found a way to sneak past it and catch a glimpse of the lonely, scared child."

He wiped as his face as Diana rubbed his knee soothingly.

"How do I get past the guilt? I feel like I betrayed everyone … especially you," he said as his lip trembled.

"You didn't betray any of us. Nothing and no one were harmed by what you did –"

"She had two kids kidnapped," he stated.

"From what Emily told me, when they found the kids, both were happily watching a movie and had been well taken care of. The person who took them collected money just to take them to a house, that turned out to be a grandmother of 5, who thought she was babysitting the neighbor's kids. They were in no danger."

"But –"

"You can keep trying to find reasons to hate yourself for this, but you aren't going to find any. No one is mad at you. Everyone is worried about you. Just as she couldn't change her past, you can't change yours. You made a decision that night that had zero consequences on anyone, but yourself. She is gone now and it's time to accept that reality, appreciate that you got to give her a brief glimpse of happiness before her death," she said.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I know you say I don't need to feel guilty, but I still do. I guess, I can't help that. It's just something I have to deal with and find a way to make it right in my mind," he said as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Let's start making it right, by you eating. You're already too skinny," she said with a smile.

Spencer blushed as a smile tugged at his lips. He suddenly lurched forward and wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you, Mom. More than anything in this world," he said.

"I know that," she said with a smile as she held him tight. "And I am so proud to be your Mom. You are a wonderful man and I love you beyond words," her voice cracked at the end.

A few tears slipped as he refused to let go of her. While he wasn't fully over the roller coaster of emotions, he saw that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He would eventually open up to his friends, go back to work, and move forward with his life.

He'd find love and get married. He'd retire and become a college professor. He'd have a house full of kids that he adored. He'd grow old with his wife and die of natural causes in his late 90's. And when he arrived at his new home, she would be there waiting to thank him for saving her life.

(xxxxx)

A/N: so, I know a lot of you weren't happy with the fact that Spencer slept with her. In reality, that would be quite a disturbing thing, but when it comes to fantasy's I believe anything can be possible. For me, I always wanted Cat to be redeemable. They showed glimpses of that each episode she was a part of. The girl who so desperately wanted to be good enough for Spencer.

I never wanted him to compromise who he was, and I believe that if they had the time, he could have broken her down and changed her, the way she did in the story. She loved him enough that his goodness would have made her a better person.

Anyway, thanks for following the story. I hope you enjoyed it! Next up, I'll finish my Jeid story, and then onto Maxcer! xoxo