Sorry for the long wait, here's another chapter. In this one, Percy isn't playing by the rules. He is very much aware of how stupid this whole situation is.

Chaos adopts Percy:

Percy gasped. He'd been in Tartarus for like an eternity! He was in so much agony as all his titan enemies beat him up and whipped him every day! He'd been there for like a thousand years!

Meanwhile, on the surface, Matt was hated by everyone, because apparently they all realised how ridiculous this entire situation is and how much of a ******************************** Matt was. Inexplicably, Matt's Poseidon charm speak powers have failed to work, so now his only friends are two nameless characters who are completely unimportant to the plot except to get beaten up by Percy in the eventual confrontation.

Annabeth is depressed. She's lost pretty much everything, and everyone hates her now for cheating on Percy, which just proves that the entire camp are both idiots AND hypocrites. She wants to kill herself, and honestly she probably would, but the plot demands that she won't. (please don't go after me for making fun on mental illness. This is a satire fic, and all of what I write is based off what I read anyway)

It's been like a week, but for Percy it feels like an eternity, and the camp has gone through pretty much enough change it could've actually been an eternity.

Also either where the fuck are the 7?!

Or, depending on the story you read, why the fuck are hazel and frank in camp half blood?!

Wait a minute… WHY THE FUCK ARE PERCY AND ANNABETH IN CAMP HALF BLOOD?! DIDN'T THEY SAY THEY'D BE GOING TO ROME AT THE END OF THE SECOND SERIES THAT HAS BETTER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BUT LOWER QUALITY STORY TELLING?! CONSISTENCY PEOPLE CONSISTENCY

Anyway, Percy is doing his thing when suddenly he gets transported to a dark room where he can't see anything.

He falls to the ground, writhing in pain. He hurts so much he can't do anything except scream and cry.

A presence waits in the room for him to stand and ask who it is. He doesn't. He just keeps on writhing and screaming.

The presence waits for quite a while. It starts to get annoyed. Eventually, it just waves its hand and cures Percy of all his pain and agony.

Percy unsteadily gets to his feet. He tries to lean on nothing and falls to the ground again. He again gets to his feet.

"Did you do that?" He asks. "Cure me of my pain?"

"Yes." Says the figure.

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" Percy asks, annoyed.

The presence looks at him. "Percy." It says. "You are the centre of the universe. The books were written about you, so you are the main character of the entire world!"

Percy stares at him. "What?"

The presence stares back. "I am Chaos, the primordial being that created all of creation!"

It reveals itself to be a non-descript male character with black hair despite the fact that 5 seconds of research will tell any writer that Chaos was female.

Percy frowns. "You have a consciousness?"

Chaos roars back: "Percy! The gods have forsaken you! Everyone you love hates you! No one cares! You have no friends!"

Percy's face crumples. He curls up in a ball and begins to cry.

Chaos wonders if that was a bit harsh. Nevertheless, it continues. "Percy! I want to adopt you and give you my powers! Then we'll wait a 1000 years and come back to Earth where the writers will say that the main characters of the book apart from you all became inexplicably immortal and will skip over the technological advancement or stagnation mortal society has experienced!"

Percy looks up, tearstained. "Why? Why would I say yes to this?"

Chaos looks down at him, and then says: "You know, I had no idea you would even consider saying no. In all the other stories you always say yes, and then I tell you the benefits. Well, I guess I'll tell you the benefits now."

Chaos clears his throat. "If you join me, you'll get a sweet army that has more members than all demigods on Earth combined, but you'll still be able to fit them all in Camp Half-Blood. One of your eyes will change colour, so that'll be neat. You'll get to dress up like an assassin from Assassin's Creed, and you'll get a sweet pair of wings. Also, you'll get to change your name to Wolf, or War, or something else that begins with W."

Percy stared at Chaos. His sadness had been replaced by total confusion.

"Wizard… Whale… WhaleWizard!" Chaos announced. "Yes, WhaleWizard sounds like an excellent name. And also, you'll flip flop between character traits depending on the writer. Any other story, you'll be so loyal to your friends and family that you wouldn't even consider this, but with this one you'll revel in causing them pain, hide your identity, make them think you died thinking they never loved you, and be an all round asshole that people only like because you're the main character of a very well written series of books that are much better than this fanfiction!"

Percy opened his mouth and then closed it. He didn't know what to say.

Chaos said: "I know what you're going to say! You want to know who will command the regiments of your army! After all, you can't control them all on your own! Well, see, rather than inventing some clever OCs that people actually care about we're going for a quick tug of the heart strings by bringing back dead characters like Silena, Charles, and Luke! And after their introductions we won't address them again! Ever!" Chaos clapped his hands together. "Oh, I'm so excited!"

Percy just stared. Of all the things that could've possibly happened, he had not been expecting this.

"Oh, and your whole family is dead at the hands of monsters. And your mother had an unborn daughter. So you don't have to worry about them!"

Shock overcame Percy. He sat down on the ground. He began to cry.

Chaos scrambled. "Was it something I said? Did I say something wrong? Was it something I said? Did I say something wrong? Was it something I said? Did I say something wrong?"

After Percy made no reply, Chaos made a last ditch effort. "I'll give you god powers."

Nothing.

Chaos harrumphed. "Kids these days… pish."

And he walked away.

I acknowledge this one was not as good as the last one. Honestly, I had no idea how to write this, but simultaneously I really wanted to highlight how goddamn stupid the whole Chaos thing is. This one also has more 4th wall breaks than the last one.

The next one will hopefully come out a lot sooner than this one, and it will be about mortals meet.