Mortals meet go:

Annabeth gets hit on by a stereotype

JOCKY MCJOCKFACE'S POV

Hi adoring fans, my name is Jocky McJockFace, and I'm the hottest guy in the world. I'm also a high school student, and true to my name I'm a jock. I'm gods perfect gift. Everyone loves me… except for one. And she's ALSO THE HOTTEST ONE EVER AND OH MY GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH I NEED TO HAVE HER SHES SO PREEEEEEEETTY

Anyway, it's completely unfair. She turns down everyone who asks her, it's bullshit, I did not hit her I did not

So anyway, her name is Annabeth chase. Shes beautiful shes got grey eyes… steel coloured eyes… her eyes are the colour of iron… grey… really pretty… nice eyes… so grey…

Here she comes now, down the hallway. Time to make my move.

As Annabeth walked past the girls everyone gasped and turned to look at her, the guys and some of the girls looking at her like they wanted to take her to their room and keep her their for some time, the majority of the girls looking at her like she should be dead in a ditch, because guys only care about sex and girls only care about guys caring about their sex.

Equality!

As I approached Annabeth a girl ran up to me and was like: "oh jocky oh jocky pls let us go on a date"

I was all like: "No ugly hag"

She was all like: "oh thank you for gracing me with your voice jocky"

I was like: "mmhmm"

As I approached Annabeth, I got ready to work my magic

SUDDEN RANDOM POV CHANGE!

RANDOM NERD FRIEND POV

I came into school with my only friend Annabeth Chase, honestly she's like the best friend you could ask for, she's so popular and pretty and smart it's a wonder she doesn't have a boyfriend already! In fact I'm genuinely surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend. She is like perfect dating material, and I think that she really needs a boyfriend especially cause there's like a hundred thousand guys who would go out with her.

"Hey Annabeth, when you gonna get a boyfriend?" I asked.

"Oh, Random Nerd Friend! I already have a boyfriend!" She said. Then she showed us that picture that was clearly some of the best Photoshop the world has ever seen, but we weren't fooled. Long distance relationships are conspiracies invented by the government, so we knew not to buy into Annabeth's claims.

Did I say we? I mean me, Random Nerd friend 2 (male edition), Random Nerd friend 3, Random Nerd friend 4, and Random Nerd friend 5 (also male edition).

So, we were walking towards the lockers when suddenly, Jocky McJockFace, the number one Jock in the school, walked up to Annabeth at her locker. He was all like: "Hey Hawt Sauce, wanna go on a date?!"

And Annabeth leaned in all close. Jocky grinned knowing he was about to get a kiss, but instead Annabeth whispered in his ear: "I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND CUNT!"

Then she KNEED HIM IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT THEY EXPLODED, AND HE BLED TO DEATH ON THE FLOOR, AND EVERYONE CHEERED FOR ANNABETH BECAUSE SHE WAS SUCH AN AWESOME PERSON BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY WERE LIKE HOLY SHIT SHES SO HOT BUT IM GONNA STAY AWAY CAUSE I DON'T WANNA DIE BY BALL BLEEDING! !

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Then a guy ran in. It was the guy in the picture! "Annabeth!" He yelled, and ran up and kissed her.

The kissed lasted really long, and at least 100 words were dedicated to describing the kiss. (get ready)

It was amazing to watch. Annabeth and the guy fit so well together. They moved up and down and up and down, and their eyes were closed as they moaned with satisfaction. Her hands clutched his back, raking themselves over his orange shirt. Everyone stared, wishing they had some sort of love like that in their lives to focus on as they thought of the dread of only being in one chapter of one story. Jocky temporarily rose from the grave to take notes on the guy's kissing ability. Annabeth put all the other girls to shame. It was really something to watch.

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I can't believe I just wrote that.

Then the guy was all like: "Annabeth Chiron needs you at camp."

Everyone was really mystified as to what this camp was. Then Annabeth blushed so red that she would've camouflaged in a chainsaw massacre. "Oh guys, I need to introduce Percy to you guys!"

(random new paragraph for no reason) "Percy, these are my Random Nerd Friends, Random Nerd Friends, this is Percy Jackson, my REAL boyfriend!"

Percy was like: "What do you mean REAL?"

Annabeth was like: "They didn't believe in your existence."

Percy was like: O_o

Then Annabeth and Percy ran outside, and everyone followed because the writer wants an audience to react for you so you enjoy reading (I won't lie, I love an audience too).

There was a van there. Then out of the van came all the main characters of the series, and then all the minor characters too for emphasis. Soon the parking lot was completely filled with people, only half of which actually went to the school. The Random Nerd Friends were wise, and knew that the van was actually the TARDIS, because there was no other explanation for all those people being in there.

Then Annabeth and Percy kissed a bit, then Annabeth listed off the names of the many many people in the parking lot to everyone, and we were all gobsmacked tbh. Then after more pointless filler, Annabeth still being the centre of attention, Jocky being dead in the hallway somewhere, they all piled into the van and it took off.

And that's how I met Annabeth Chase, the main character of this chapter and also the lives of everyone in this chapter, including me.

I want to write rants as well as satire pieces, and by rants I really just mean pieces that write on a subject I notice often in fanfiction that has more to do with writing than with clichés, that I can't highlight in a satire chapter.

For example the Luke rant, which would highlight the problem with people not being able to properly represent characters and breaking them down to their most base traits, making them one dimensional; the main victim of this is Luke, who is portrayed as a complete asshole and a sociopath, when in the actual books he had so much more to his character. Anyway, if you want to see these rants, leave it in the review.