I'm Beryl Ankokuno! I'm 25 years old, recently graduated from culinary school. I'm more boy-crazy than others and I have a bit of a short temper. That's about it. Recently I achieved my dream of opening my own crepe shop by renting a low-budget storefront that has a peculiar hole in the back wall. But now I have to make enough money to cover all my costs! That makes me really nervous. Oh well, I guess everything will be okay!

"Help wanted!" I read aloud as I taped the sign to the door. A week into the crepe-making business, and it was obvious I was going to need some employees. For starters, the pot of crepe batter needed to be stirred at all times or it would congeal. This made it difficult to get any actual crepes made. Speaking of which—

"Eep! The batter!" I ran back to the kitchen and resumed working the pot. Much to my dismay, a few lumps had already started forming. All of my attention became absorbed in stirring, so much so that I nearly didn't notice when a major hunk walked up to read my advertisement.

I rushed to the front. "Oh, sorry! May I help you?" I asked. The stranger was even more gorgeous up close. He had glossy black hair and a sharp jawline, and was fashionably dressed in cool guy sunglasses, an oversized green jacket, and pleated purple pants. He could have been a Calvin Klein model if he'd wanted to.

He took off his sunglasses to look at me. "What jobs are you hiring for?" His eyes were a deep blue, just like the sea. There was something so nostalgic about looking into them…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Um, mainly people to make crepes, I guess! Right now it's just me, so it's flexible, if there was something else you were interested in."

"Well, since I'm an orphan who's lived alone in an apartment since childhood, I am a pretty good cook. What are the hours?"

"We're open afternoons and evenings. It seems like we get the most customers around when school gets out, so that time frame would be ideal."

"Hmm." He put his sunglasses back on. "I'm starting medical school soon, so I don't think that will work for me. Sorry!" And with a two-finger wave, he started walking away.

"Hey, wait!" I called after him. "Those hours can be adjusted! I wouldn't even mind changing our open and closing times to fit your schedule! Come back! Please?" But he ignored me. With a sigh, I returned to stirring the pot.

A couple dull hours of stirring later, another interested candidate showed up. This one was pretty handsome, too. However, he was wearing a tan trenchcoat and fedora and had a distinctly creepy look in his eyes. He didn't even acknowledge my existence at first, but just stood in front of the shop, muttering, "Nowadays, the people of Japan are very interested in desserts from overseas. I can use this energy. By running a specialty crepe shop like this, I would be sure to earn a lot of money."

I leaned out the window and waved at him. "Hello? Are you looking for a job?" I asked.

He fixed his creepy eyes on me and tipped his hat. "Yes, m'lady."

I tried to ignore that. "Can you work nights and weekends?"

"Yes, m'lady."

"Can you stop calling me that?"

"Yes, m'lady."

I sighed. Creepy and a bit of a dummy. Well, maybe he would be too dense to remember when payday was. "Whatever. You're hired. Go get yourself an apron out of the closet, and hang a few up out here while you're at it. I have to stir this pot. And what's your name?"

"Jadeite, m'lady." As he walked past, he began muttering again, "Nowadays, the people of Japan are very interested in keeping their clothes free of spills while they cook…"

The muttering, much to my horror, continued nonstop every time Jadeite encountered any new concept. He had clearly never had a job before, so this was approximately once every five minutes. I guess you can't have very high standards for minimum-wage food service employees, I told myself. I could always get rid of him if he got any worse—but for that, I would need a replacement.

An ostentatious red Ferrari screeched up to the curb. A man with equally ostentatious, equally red hair climbed out and stood on the sidewalk, looking up at my sign. "At the central point between a middle school, a college, and a major shopping district, approaching the vernal equinox…yes, it's all perfectly aligned. This crepe shop is about to reach its peak popularity."

He looked down at me and walked right up to the counter. "Hello there. Local dessert enthusiast Nephrite, at your service." With a wink, he handed me a business card.

I stuck the card in my pocket without looking at it. "Can you use a spatula?"

"I…believe that is within my abilities, yes."

"Great. You're hired. You start now. I'm terrified that the dweezil in the back is going to murder me in the shower." I handed him an apron.

From behind me, I heard Jadeite begin to mutter, "Nowadays, the people of Japan are very interested in murder…"

"Please," I said to Nephrite. With a suspicious look, then a shrug, he put on the apron and stepped behind the counter. I stifled a sigh of relief. "I'm on batter duty, and I've got Jadeite prepping the fillings, so all you need to do is fold the crepes into triangles and put them in paper to give to the customers. Sound good?"

"I don't need to be told how to make crepes," Nephrite responded coldly. "Pastry is my passion. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for myself."

That attitude was going to be a problem, but I guessed that was the cost of anti-murder insurance. Maybe Jadeite's latest muttered business plan had something to it.

"Look, Naru, a new crepe shop! Let's get one!" a high-pitched voice yelled from outside the shop. A schoolgirl with a distinctive bun hairstyle bounced forward, dragging a more reluctant girl with curly red hair.

"Usagi, weren't you saving your allowance for the arcade?" the redhead asked in a thick accent that could have been from either Brooklyn or Osaka.

"Young girls like us need to live in the moment!" the blonde replied. "One kiwi crepe and one strawberry crepe, please!"

"I guess I'll have a strawberry crepe, too," the redhead said, more sheepishly.

I poured three scoops of well-stirred batter onto the griddles, and Nephrite got to work making the crepes while Jadeite rang them up.

"If you girls eat that many crepes, you'll get fat and you won't be beautiful," Jadeite told the students coldly.

"Jadeite! You're going to scare away our customers!" I snapped. The blonde girl's eyes were already welling up with tears.

"Besides, nothing could make these cuties look bad," Nephrite said, walking up with the crepes in hand. He handed them to the girls with a wink at the redhead. "I bet you're the cutest girls in the school." The two walked away giggling.

I crushed the freshly printed receipt in my hand, blood boiling. "Nephrite. You just saved our only sale of the day, so I will refrain from punishing you…this time." But I really need to hire at least one person who isn't a total creep.

Just then, a couple walked by, the shorter one (whose gender I couldn't immediately guess) clinging tightly to the taller's arm. "Oh, Kunzite, look! Don't you think it would be so romantic to work at a crepe shop together?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable, Zoisite." His deep voice held no hint of intonation or expression.

"Come on!" Zoisite stepped inside and surveyed the premises of my shop with a haughty look. "This dingy stall could really use a couple of beautiful men to spruce it up, don't you think?"

What horrible trick of fate has brought all of these idiots into my life today? I wondered. Still, the two didn't look like either murderers or pedophiles, and the bar was currently set exactly that low, so all I said was, "Sure, if you're job hunting. You can start now. Zoisite, was it? The aprons are here, go ahead and get yourself one."

"I'm going to get you one that matches mine, Kunzite," Zoisite said.

"That is fine," Kunzite replied.

"And while he's doing that, Kunzite, could you refill this water pitcher, please?" I asked.

"Yes," Kunzite said.

"Don't go getting the wrong idea," Zoisite sniped at me.

I revised my opinion—It would be a wonder if I hadn't murdered them before the week was up. At least I have a convenient spot to hide the bodies. I glanced over my shoulder at the back of the shop, where I knew the tunnel gaped open, though I couldn't see it. It sent a shiver up my spine, and I turned away.

"Nowadays, the couples of Japan are very interested in maintaining an unhealthy level of jealousy…" Jadeite muttered.

"I can hear you!" Zoisite yelled.

"Ignore this peasant, Zoisite," Kunzite said.

I sighed and tried to focus my attention on stirring the batter.