Chapter 66: Dark Pit Joins Antifa

AN: HEY IM GBACK GUYS I had a hurricane and it sucked BUTG HEAR I AM! I want to here tims SCREAMS OF PAIN as I TORTURE HI M! It has really been a while since I last updated the story, as I've been very busy for the past few weeks. A lot happened since last chapter! The Hot Topic Krew posted its amazing final chaptar, and even uploaded the first of its sequel! I suggest very much checking them out! This chatper is a Halloween especial, so HAPPYR HARERMNEWWEEN!

Chapter Sextysex recap!: LONK IS DED, je gos 2 heven, nutella really he gos 2 hel, He has dank secret, ist that he sold his seoul to Saitama, he cones bach form da ded, no 1 rememberers qhat quappened, TIngley partay, sara an enoby fite, Tonga gives Eaton a brake, nico nico gay, ben's an ahole, he gets scarred, and da ANTI TINGRING SMENSMATION!

Chaptre beggin!

so i twas a noremel helloween day in hirule. hyrule sucks so everything sucks because it sucks on a normal day, and that is why is was a terrible ahlloween day.

Hyrule's most famous football team was playing today, the Kakariko Confederates. But outside the Jefferson Davis Stadium was a certain tumblr angle. It was...DARK PIT BUT THE ONE FROM THAT ONE FANFIC THATS LIKE SUPPER SMASH BROS! He was wearing a black mask and was ready to heck shit up.

Our good old edgy Pitoto just happened to be wanking by, seeing the tumblr getting out his weapons.

"Tumblr Pittoo, what the f*ck are you doing!?"

"i have been enlittened! Now i no that da only wai to beet da strates is with COMMUNISM! I am now a memeber of antifa which is a group that hates strates! Heil Marx!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Noting U STRATE! U must be a facist like da otter strates! Every1 is either the bad side: fasist, or da good sid: comunist!"

Edgelord hated that crazy tumblr dude. "You've got to be kidding me. There isn't just one good side and one bad side. There is also an less extreme area in the middle."

"LIES U FASTIS!" he took out his hammer and sickle and was ready to fight in the name of his hero, the popular gay icon Stalin.

"Are u guys fiting CAN I JOIN?" axed Pit2 abomination who just flew in.

"I've got to get the f*ck out of here!1" exclaimed Edgy Pittoo frantically. "But before I leave, I need to do one important thing." He spotted a true villain just outside of the stadium: the abominable Asterisk. The evil asterisk prevented him from cursing without it being censored out, and he hated that because he's a cool kids and the cool kids love to swear.

Taking out his bow, he shot the asterisk and it died instantly. "Fuck," he said because censorship was now defeated for the yay. "I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK YES!" stop cursing so much its just annoying and innopropriate THINK OF THE SCHICLKFREN!

Anyway, pittoo skedaddled the heck out of there as a riot began between the fundamentalists and the sjw's. Sara quickly joined in, ready to cleanse the world.

"HAY U LIBRUL!" she sed pointing to pittoo.

"Oh its U! THE EVILEST CONSERVATEV IN DA HOLE WORD! i will beet u with te power of DAWIN!"

"lies darvin is FAEK NOOSE god is th e TRUE GOD NUT YOUR SATANIST!"

"FUCK YUUO SARA stoop being so problematic!"

"Pito dont curse or u will go to hell!"

"THERE IS NO HEVEN OR HELL U BICH!"

"Thats it, tim 2 end dis! THE POWER OF CRIST COMPELLS U!" Sara said, smashing Pittoo in the head with her b-i-b-l-e.

"I did it!" sara exclaimed. "Noting can beet the powder of god!"

"Wat about dis gun?" assed Pit2 abomination, shooting Sara in the chest.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKING SHOT ME IN THE CHEST GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!11111111111111111111111111111" screamed Sara in pain. she ran 2 the hospital where she prayed for hours for forgiveness for sinning and also saying the lords name in vain and then she did cristin thigns like communion and beating up Snas and stuff also for forgive ness.

MEMEWHILE"

the tongling senstation was having a Halloween party like from last year. Tingle was dressed as a mailman that delivers bombs, Epona was Darth Vader again but with a fedora, Waldo was the invisible man, Hannibal was dressed as Archie from the comics and also that one tumblr show, L was Vegeta but eating tons of candy, Blair was an even sluttier cat than last time, Moe was the main chick from that one boob anime with dragons, Octavio was Moe's dragon maid, Linkle was dressed as Jason and was out to kill, Nico was the creepy chick from the Ring, Karen was dressed as a giant Switch controller, and Nebby was a Scottish dude with a kilt and bagpipes. And finally, BEN, the nightmare fetishist, was dressed as his role model, Pennywise the clown.

"COME ON BITCHES ITS TIME FOR THE FUCKING SCARIEST MOVIE EVER!" Ben is an asshole that loves scary things. "It is time for IT featuring many fun murders AND ITS SO SCARY I LOVE IT SO MUCH!"

"No thank you," said Hannibal sassily. "I'm not interested in any of that violent stuff you watch. Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to find some victims to eat."

Now Big Ben could watch his wholesome family movie. Snas wasn't able to interrupt him this time (AN: GEDDIT TIME LIKE BAD TIME!) because Sara beat him up and dunked (AN: GEDDIT DUNKED HAHAHAHA!) him into the river.

While Ben Jovi was distracted by child death, the rest of the sensation snuck out and got wasted.

BACH WITH HTK PITTOO:

Dark Pit was looking for some new edgy music to buy. "Maybe I could get some new Linkin Park music," he said while posing edgily and depressingly.

Looking on his phone for the edgy band, he stumpled acrooss something Strange. A band was named Linkle Park, and had a song called "FUCK YOU LINK YOU SUCK I ALSO BANGED YOUR MOM!"

Before he could react to this weird stuff, thigns took a SPOOKY turn.

what lookened like asteroid fall from the sky, and it is JOHN STALVERN! Rememeber him? When we last saw him, he turned into a zombie, BUT HE'S NOT DEAD YET!

"Who are you?" asked Pittoo in the fears.

"I am John Stalvern and I AM ZOMBIE"

Pittoo was ready to gtfooh, so he did the run, runnign in fear to a nearby cofefe.

IN THE NEARBY COFEFE:

Pearl and Marina from Slutoon 2 were hunging inside the nearby cofefe.

"So as I was saying," said Perl, "dat bitch was trippin and I fukin chopped of his legs so now he's really trippin!"

"Ay me laddie," said San Marino. "But doesn't that seem like a bit much, senora? I mean, sacrebleu!"

"Nothin is a bit much fo dat mothahecka."

"Kawaii, then I guess you had to bloody do it, ye matey.

Pearl and Marina were squiddy and octy terrorists that were super evil. They teamed up with Japan during world war 2 to nuke Pearl Harbor and then mockingly took its name.

Suddenly JOhn stalvern crshamshed inside and forced them to spill they're cofefe, making them square raveng.

"i am about to be killing everyone because I am zombie! Demons must kill and I will kill you"

Dark Pit had no idea what to do, poor fluffy birb.

But suddenly, a hero was here to save the day!

A giant moter cycle crashed through and blew up tables and killed a lot zombies! The driver take off helmet, and he is...John Freeman from Halflife: Fulllife Consequences?!

"Stop headcrap zombie I must kill you!"

"Why are you want to kill me?"

"Because u are zombie and you r evil!"

"Dont you recognize me John?"

Sudenly John Freeman has a flashback.

Years ago:

John stalvern was just a little boy and was crying. A older boy John Freeman walks up and saw him.

"Are you okay you look sad" asked Freeman.

"No i am sad. I want to be spaceman to fight demons but my dad said it is to dangerus."

"i no that you can be hero no mater what your father say. My brother is hero to, and i want to be like him! What is your name?"

"I am john stalvern"

"Thats funny, my name is also john, but i am john freeman! Will you be friend?"

"okay!"

and so john and john became best freinds.

PRESENT:

"John, why are you zombie, you are my frend!"

"Not anymore, i am evil now"

"You have to stop being evil john, or you will face the Repercussions of Evil!" (AN: GEDDIT!)

Stalvern laughed with evilness. "I will see you later freeman and i will kill you!"

the zombie jumped through the window and left, and so freeman left 2 sadly.

Dark Pit was confundled by this situation, and so he left and pretended it never happened.

MEMEWHILE (AN: geddit because of memes?):

Snas finally escaped from evil sara osborne and so he could play some pranks on that jerk Ben.

"alright, time for some fun!" but before he could do anything, his foot caught on a trip wire and he fell down the stairs.

Tingle walked up to snas and laughed, knowing that this was going to happen because Tingle knows everything. "Well well well well well well well well well well well, look who showed up!"

"heya, tingle. wire you doing this to me?"

"Because it's funny! And besides that, I need you to do something for me. An evil team known as the Anti-Tingling Sensation has begun, and I need you to survey them for me. Understand?

"loud and clear. i guess i'll just prank ben another day. i'll see ya fairy soon, tingle." Also Ben was killed by the Villager again for some reason and will quickly return unscathed.

"Adios, snas!" And so snas dragged himself out the door.

OVER WITH NAVY:

Navy finally had a break from Link, even though she knew it wouldn't last long. Link was arrested for trying to smuggle cocaine into an airport and also for masticating in the theater while watching It.

Right now, Navi was shopping at Wal-Mart, buying some weeb shit to decorate her house with. But as she was checking out, the cashier was the most beueuatiful girl she'd ever seen.

"Greetings," said the cashier.

"Hey, what's your name?" asked Navi nervously.

"I am known as Fi. Now I must calculate your total. You must pay 20 dollars for those items."

"Okay, thank you!" said Navi. Navi buzzed out the door like a bug or a floating blue ball with wings as she was in love, in love with a talking sword.

Hopefully Link doesn't screw this up for her (like he usually does).

AN: Well, that's it for the second Halloweed special! A lot happened in this one! It introduced John Freeman, Pearl and Marina, and Fi, everyone can curse now, Tumblr Pittoo joins antifa, Snas gets the shit beat out of him, AND MORE! Someday Tim will be introduced to this story AND HE'LL BE KILLED BECAUSE HE SUCKS! If you have any ideas for future chapters, or you want a character to appear more in the story, please tell me in the comments! Thank you for reading, and I'll see you soon!