Chapter 68: Enoby v Santa Christ
AN: Everyone, I just had the greatest realization ever. The Pokémon Delibird was introduced in the second generation, so does that make it a...Gen 2 Penguin? Why aren't you laughing? It was VERY HILLARKOUS AND GENIOUSUS, it's probably Tim's fault that no one likes it (fuck him). Anyway, this is the second Christmas special! I know that I said I'd have another chapter before this, but I've been pretty busy with my senior year. Last week was my senior trip, but I'm back now! Also, I started a new story! It's a Love Live Sunshine fanfic titled Rebellion, so if you're a Love Live fan, CHECK IT OUT U BITCH HURRY UP AND RED IT!
Chapter Sextysevin Recap!: Lonk in jale, lonk pot of jail, sad navy, WANKSGIVING DINER, evry1 their, tink Hayes Limkle melon hates lonkle, day put aside ther diftancrs 4 toda, LINKS GUNNA COOK NAVI, Tingle thanhkksujging, Nevvy rubs from bags, he meets Maximum Robotspierre, day tho on date, sahurao and his kat, 420 happy drug saleman and water Wite, bill and ted dank, lInk wantys to poson Linkle, Snas loves bill bye, he gps to see his dads dry booster and ghost dad, Pepyres kiks him oout, Sara hats Sally, Pester Wetsburrow dies, Clod angle is now Sara's bowfreind, Dank Yagami leafes him death threat (AN: Geddit like death note?), ebony id sad cud Kyle Rem damped her, Jennifer ocoltamore and 30hs Harry r they're, shitty illuminati, link loves Tommy Wiseau, he poison Linkle, he dum an realize that he disnt wank to kill her, Tumblr Pittoo, Hot Topic Krew edgy edge, Pittsburgh watches Undertail the movie with Pot, they luv movie, Vatti saves navi, die bore helps Linkle, and she saved and sexes Chika.
Chaptre beggin!
Loink was at lonks House in his house, playin da very popurar game Bigley's Revenge. when some crismiss carolists started singing.
"Todokete Setsunasa ni wa namae o-"
Suddenly link shat a racket luncher at the Carolinians. "Focking weeb s not you agen!"
"Why do you hate weebs so much, aren't you a weeb?" asked Navi. "In the third chapter, you called said you wanted Zelda-senpai to notice you and called her Zelda-chan."
"SHUTUP NAVI DAT NEVER HAPPENED!11111" and link kiked navi out the winder.
"Dose weebs UNLIK ME should sing reel music, like dis!: WELL I WISH I WAS IN DA LAND OF COTTIN OLD TIMS DERE R NUT FORGOTEN LOOK AWAAAAAAAAY LOOK AWAAAAAAAAAAYY LOOK AWAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY DIXIE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!"
SuddNly An angle appeared and it was...Cloud Angle!
"Link I was sent here by lady Palpatine 2 turn u good!"
"U meen liek in da last crissmis especial? Becuz dat didebt work u idoit!"
"Yeah but ill be able 2 turn u good becos im strate and have a better personility!" That was a lie because he has no personality.
Suddenly, lonk was teletpeited to another world! He was...a link between worlds (AN: Geddit? Like da gaym?!)!
"We're am i?"
"Dis is a word we're u we're never borned!"
Hyrule was happy and green with birds signing in the distince unlike how it really is with the constant smell of burning flesh and dead bodies on the streets.
"This word is much better becos u arent in it! Tingle never turned evul becos u never were meen 2 him, and navy is acterrally happy! Ganindorf is still alive and was able 2 tern hyrool into a Zootopia!"
"Yah so?"
"In collision, every1 wood be butter off if u we're never born."
This was a lesson just like that one in that shitty Fairly Odd Parents episode, fuck whomever wrote that. "You shold becos a better persona now so evry1s lives can be like this!"
"Ha no im still evul," lonk said, taking of a gun and about to kill Cloud. Sadly, he didn't kill that bastard Cloud angle because they we're telepathed pack in2 da reel world and Ledy Palatable got Clod 2 escap.
Lonk was sad fhat he cooeent kill Cluod but he was happy that the world was a worse place because of him.
Lonk even had the idea to start a fanclub for Tito Dick "Dickman" baby that will probably play a role in a future chapter.
A bunch of shoot happened to the Tingling Sensation's relationships during the time between these two chapters.
As you know, Nebbiolo got together with Maxmalanoon Robertspire.
Ben's wife left him for Fruddy Fuzzbear and now hes sad and edgy although he was already edgy but now he's slightly edgier.
Karen tried to marry the Nintendo Switch but couldn't because it isn't legal to get married to inanimate objects in Hyrule so she went to Congress and started a petition which eventually cause a law to be passed legalizing it and so Karen is now legally married to the Switch.
Moe and Octavio are still a couplé and a beautiful, canon couple like Icarus/Green de la Bean.
Blair is still a WHORE HOW DARE SHE HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX
Nico's girlfriend Maki AKA knock knock it's Knuckles left her for Ryuko from Kill la Kill as she was another gijinka of a Sonic character and the even took custody of their daughter Natsuki from Doki Doki Panic at the Disco.
Anyway the Tingling Sensation had a big Christmas party and went ice scating. Hannibal did the great ice scating choreography because he was once the best ice scatter in the entire world as Nico sang a high pitched anime girl song that made everyone's ears bleed and L did nothing but eat candyxanes.
That's pretty much everything that happened with the Sensation sends den, but they did have a very Merry Christmas except for Ben because he's edgy and depressed.
Anyway, Enoby was still also being edgy and depressed but she got some new edgy friends!
After THAT BASTERD KYLO REN DUMPED HER, Ebony started attending a weeb school in Japan called Luna Nova Academy under the name Sucy Manabavarian. Her new best friend is named Akko Kagari, who Enoby was successful able to turn goth.
Another of Ebony's team members is the edgiest man alive, way edgier than Mr. Game & Watch, Edgy!Snas from this one AU of Oonddtail where everyone is dark and edgy.
And finale, thersé Mewtwo from the HTK.
FLASH BACH TO HOW ENOBU MET JEWTWO:
"Who da fuk ru yo fuking furry?"
"I'm here to take lives and destroy the HTK. We should team up and take those fuckers down."
"Ew why wood i want a preppy pink fury bich on my side? Fuk of!"
"Listen, you albino little shit. We both want the same thing: to destroy those Hot Topic Krew fatasses. If we join up, we will be so much more likely to take them down. So are you in?"
"UGH FINE!"
And that's how they became a team.
PRESENT DAY: (AN: Geddit like christmas present!?)
"Evryone SANTA PIT ME ON HIS NUTTY LIST HOW DARE THAT FUKER!" screamed Enoby.
"How unkawai desu," japanesed Eggo.
"Anywai lets kill that fuker Santa Christ said Ebony!" she made up a new song called Enoby's gonna shoot the head off of Santa. It had the same tune as boulevard of broken dream.
"I feel like I've seen this somewhere before," said Mewtwo, who was super smart because he was a professor at the Canadian Mennonite University or the Atlantic School of Theology or Tyndall University College or Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières or the Ma'had Kutawato College or some shit.
"i know a really knife gift we can give santa!" edged edgesnas.
"AAHAHAHAHAHaHahahahaAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!111111111" laughed Enoby. "Dat joke was so funny! So letz go 2 da norse poll an kill la kill Satna!"
"Ha~i! Yuru Yuri, hajimaru yo~!" said Akari.
MeanWHILE with NAVI:
"hey, navi," said that one smiley trashbag snoz. "feliz navidad!" (AN: GEDDIT NAVIDAD LIKE NAVI!?)
"Hey look, it's Bill Nye!" exclaimed Navi, pointing somewhere in the distance.
"BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!" screamed SNES, running away until being hit by a garbage truck.
"Anyway, what did you guys invite me here for?" asked Old Navy.
Dry Browser and Ghostdad previousry sent her a letter to meet them in an abandoned we'rehouse.
"I'm aware that you're looking into a cure to the Fanfiction Goddesses' curse," said the greatest man to ever live, way better than you, Tim, "So we have begun to assemble a team of the greatest minds of our time to research this!"
"Really?" Navi questioned enthusiastically.
"*insert weird computer noises here*" replied Ghost Dad.
The skeryalon duo opened the dore 2 das varehaus, revealing a tons of science people working in it like Niels del Glass Tyson, Sandy from Spongban, prefesora Egadd, Mexicanica from ARms, Ross Perot, that bad chick from the secant season of Little Bitch Academia, Near (who is near Geddit?!), Mr. Minecraft science, Robbie Rotten and Pyrron from Zelda Beef of the Wknd, Night Yagami cos shes the smartest chick in the world and can memorise all of the calculis elements and pokeman, Attacj on Titan, those two science pelepel from Asians of Shield named Fats and Simone's, that Kill el Kill smart guy with the stuff and the, Gaston from Animal Crossing, Austria, Yoda, David Cameron, and Francis from Super Pepper Malleo. France-is previousli married an adult version of BJ (haha bj) from Barney the dump soirée and they had a daughter named Dr. Alphass.
"The power of science is amazing!" said Clement from Pokmon, who started using science to crack some delicious almonds from that one brand with the commercials it has a green container I think one commerical had an eagle in jt does this count as an advertizement can I have money now?
Clermont worked on the science as everyone started to freak oot.
"IT'S GONNA BLOW LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" screamed Genos the true Canadian, as everyone ran away and the machine exploded.
Everyone got away except for O my darlin Clementine who died and was sent back in time becoming a ghost skeleatln named Ghost Dad AKA CWC Bastard, and that is how Ghost Dad was born.
Anyway they decided to take a break from working to party as Ghost Dad got out the weed and things got dank danker yet danker.
Sedidnt we have a weed party last chapter? Whatever, it's not like you can have too many weed parties.
ENOBY MEANWHILE:
The Poland Express was driving by to the Norse pole when Sudanly, Ebony drove in with a gun!
"OPEN UP OR WELL KILL U!" she screamed sexily, blowing up the door and blasting out Tom Hanks. What did Tom Hanks ever do to deserve this, shame on you Ebony.
"This train is ours now," said Mewtwo as he shot a random worker, "and now we have an easy route to the North Pole."
"yeah, we're on the right track," said the edge sktetetpm edgily and depressingly as Enoby laughed hysterically.
Skeleghe took over driving the train because he has the science and turned the speed to 420 miles per kilowatt.
Mewtoo throw kids out of the train for being annoying as Ebony did nothing but whine and edge and Akkko threew bento boxes at the preps. "fuwafuwari fuwafuwaru anata ga namae o yobu sore dake de chuu e ukabu," she cursed like the complete monster that she is.
Anyway, the Blueberry Train is running killing everything in its path like Tomás the Dank Injun. It drove throughGreenland, dodging vacanoes and asteroids and blowing up Reykjavík.
Within X3 seconds, they arrived at the North Pole and were ready to kill Santa like in the HTK Kristmas acoecial hey wait a minute this is a total ripoff!
Mewtwo threw a Molotov cocktail inside to kill all of the kids who wanted to see santa, luckily they were all saved by Sypreme Leader Snoke from Star vs the wars of evil.
The North poll was filled with snow fish and candyxanes as the team walked through in slow motion holding guns as the polar express exploded in the background.
"Itz time 4 Satna Claws 2 die!" said Enoby.
They stormed into Satan's workshop, massacring the elfs and even that one meme about the elves.
"What the hell are you doing you motherfukers, ya?" asked Finland but enoby killed him 2.
"NO NO NO!" screamed Santa Christ "YOU KILLED FINLAND!"
"AND NOW WELL KILL U 2!" YELLED ENOBY!
"Wait, please think this through! I just want to spread joy to the children!"
"an i want 2 spred pain 2 da childrin!"
"You know what?" glared Saitama. "You deserve to be on the naughty list. You deserve nothing but coal."
"Coal whats dat?"
Santa took out a bag of coal as enoby was mesmerized by its black edginess. "O my satin dis is so edgy an depresing its so kawai!"
Enoby frappes the bag.
"Ok im leaving an taking all ur cole wif me!" And so Enoby and the gang stole all of the coal in the North Pole and beaded back home.
Santa survived but he never got over Finland's death and cancelled Christmas. THE END!
AN: that's it for dis 2nd Christmas especially! If only I could kill Tim once and then a second time. As I've been saying, I know I'm not updating as frequently as I used to, but I'll try to get out as many as I can. I'm almost finished with Pit Saves Canada, as it only has two chapters left. And be sure to check out my new story if you think you might like it! I'll see you guys soon!