Chapter 69: (haha) Indiana's Hero
AN: It has been a while since last chapter, so I am very sorry for the long wait. But anyway, a special day is finally here! That's right, the story's two year anniversary! (It's actually four days from now, but I had the chapter finished and decided that I might as well post it now) On January 30, 2016, I posted the first chapter of this story. Things have changed so much since then. Back then I was a weirdo writing a horrible fanfiction, and now I'm...still a weirdo writing horrible fanfiction. But really, everyone, thank you for all of your support over this time. I have gotten so many more fans than I ever dreamed that I could. This fic even got a TV Tropes page! I was honestly just joking when I was asking for it originally, but now the page has really come along! Check out the page if you are interested! I've also branched out into other fanfics, such as Pit Saves Canada, and I plan to continue writing horrible crackfics even after this story is over. I love all of you for continuing to read this story despite how bad it is, thank you so much! If you would like, you could possibly tell me in the comments what you like about this story (and also why you hate Tim, that bitch). Anyway, happy anniversary to Tingles Raveng: The Tingling!
Chapter Sextyate Recap!: Lonk hates webs, kinks out navi, cloud Anglophone coms 2 turn him god, he sees word in witch he was never borned an evrything is muy perfecto, Link is still evul and scares away the algnle, Tito Tito Dickman Club, Tingling Sensation peeps get in wired relationships, chrismiss party, Enoby is edgy, she teams up with Akkko and efgy smas anb Mootoo to Kill santa like in the Pot Topic Crew, BILL BILL BILL, Bry Dowser and ghost bad introduce Navi to the science, the research fanficsion goodness, Clement plows the place up and dies, weed party again, Enoby an her edgy friends tank over the Postal Espresso, they go to Norse Pole, nebony kills Funland, santa givs her coal, she decide she likes coal and leaves, and Xmas is canceled.
Chaptre beggin!
Wun dae in Indiana, there was a true hero. Indiana is a country in asia with the tag mahal and that one guy from the gratest tv show of all tiem, the big Bong Thoery.
BACK IB AMURICA I MEAN HITULE
At huur House, Agatha (shes related to Melon rite?) was playin vista games with Miolin.
"And dat is y Barry B Benson is a top," said Agitha.
"Can u stfu im trying 2 concertrate!"
Qagatha and Napalm were plagin Sanic Boom. Den she creed when Marina beat her. "Isle ghetto u next tim!" sed Anitra to Malolos. "No wai! I cam bait u in any game coz i'm color then You" stayed Malachi.
Then they played more games like cocking mama, Donk Soles, Endless Oceen, Miitomo, Cosmo Kramer's Hentai Adventure, and Origami simulater. Buut Macarena beaten hor evri tiempo. "U no wwat, i am leafing write nwo, becos yui cheeter, you cheated!" yelp Agriculture.
Duccenly the tv came! The news had Batman like in tw first Chaptre and zome other chaps 2.
"Banking moose!" Seed Catman. "Da new president of Indiana has been elected and he is named Motu."
The screen showed a picture of a bald indain man with a red shrit and a mustash.
"This berry nice boi is alreddy the bestest president in Indianas historia, stopping all Hungary and poverty and saving all the children."
"WAIT A SECANT!1111" exercised Lalon. "That dude llooks fanariliar!" She loooked closeness at the screen. "GAAAAASP THAT JSNT A NOTMAL INDIAN DUDE THAT IS THE REINCARNATION OF MY DEAD DAD TALON!"
If you remember from da earlier chapter then u will remebar tat talon was the original Dogfather before Melon has him and Inko killed.
"Whose talon?" asked Agitha. "Aren't we twins or something, so shouldn't he be my dad 2? Why do I have no idea who he is?"
"I'm pretty sure that you are actually just a stranger that wondered into my house one day and we're both just too dumb to realize that we aren't related."
"Oh okay."
"An NYU way," said Malon, "I'm off to indiana to kill my Indian Dad."
And so our favoite yandere (way better than that one Mokina from theat one gaem, funk you) headed off to indiana. She was so fast that she run over the Indian Ocean.
She passed by nearby countries liek Pacman, Bangarang, Nipple, Button, Mayflies, and Sir Lonka.
When getting to Indiana, she went to many cities like Pawnee, where she got to meet the hores Little Sebastian.
The Pig Pang Theorem cast was visiting Rags family in Indiana but the laugh track was so loud that they colldnt hear the inkoming traffic and got hit by car and died.
Medianwhile (AN: Geddit like median instead of mean?!) lonk was in Heriberto with his new club.
"Ohio every1 welcom 2 the Tito Tito Dickman Club!" Link sprayed. "Today wii will right poem abOot how much we luv Tito dick Dickman baby!"
"Hay linkj why werent u at elf practice geddit like the meem!" exclaimed Lenny the kooperling.
"that doesnt maek since I am a hylian not an elf," said link as he opened up the window, launching lanny into the vacuum of space.
BACK IN INDIANA:
Malingering got to infianas capital Indianapolis, where she broke into the Tajh Mughal (its like the White House in India.) where she found Motu.
"Recognize me, Dad?" asked Malon.
Motu flinched after realizing who was speaking. "Malon? What are you doing here?"
"I can ask you the same thing, I had you killed chapters ago! And why are you Indian now?"
"After I died," explained Motu, "Iwata reincarnated me as an Indian man to give me a second chance in life. I am making my the most of this chance, trying to make the world a better place."
This seems like a good time for a HISTORY LESSON! I know a lot about history because I'm better than you are and I'm a genius.
The largest religion in Indiana is Buddhism. In Buddhism, it is believed that after you die, you are reincorporated as someone else, just as motu did in this chaptar.
Buddism was founded by Ghandi, the most famours Indian man.
THE FOUNDIOJNG OF BUUDHAISN:
Hundrens of years ago it was a time known as the French and Indian war. France declared war on Indiana and took it over.
For decades, indjana was rules by French, until ome man named Gangi decided for independence. He fired the cast system and fasted and stuff intil the france were defeated and Indiano was saved. And so then he fonded the region Buddism and that is how Bhuddism came to be.
THE MORE YOUNKNOW! Back to the store.
"Haha I don't care if u are a good person, I just care if u are dead. I killed you once and i will kill u a secant time." said Malo. "An den ill blow up your stupid country!"
"I'm sorry, Malon, but I refuse to give up this second chance at life. I just want to make my country a better place, and I will defend it at all costs.
Motu and Malon got into their fighting stances as a tall, bald, yellow shirt wearing man entered the room. It was Motu's husband Patlu!
"What's going on?"
"Patlu, you need to run. This girl was my daughter in my past life, and she wants to destroy all of Indiana. Please evacuate as many people as possible!"
"But what about you?" Patlu's eyes were filled with tears.
"Don't worry about me, my love." This was very dramatic and sad and you cry reading it. "Please, get out before it's too late!"
Patlu burst into tears and ran out.
"Now, where were we?" asked Malpon. "Oh, right! I was about to KILL YOU! Time for my ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!"
The attack was so powerful that the fabric of space and time began to tear, but Motu faced no injuries.
"H-how can this be?! No one has ever survived my attack before!1111111"
"That's because of one thing that I have that you will never understand. I have...the power of love! Now, begone you vile creature!"
Motu the true hero opened up a portal and kicked Malon into it sending her back to Hyrule where she will Jeffery never return to the land land of Indiana.
And so Indiana was saved by its president, Motu.
THE END
MEanwhile:
A dark figure spoke. That dark figure was named Epona but u allreddy no tat. "Master Tingle, are you ready for the second phase of our plan?"
Tingle smiled evully like the evil man he is as threatening music played and the screen faded out dramatically to the next scene.
HYRULE CASTLE. JANUARY 30TH, 2018. IT WAS A DARK AND DARK DAY. BIRDS WERE DYING, FLOWERS WERE ALSO DYING, KIDS WERE DYING TOO. A REGULAR MORNING IN HYRULE.
DARK AND QUIET FOOTSLEPS CREAKED ON HYRULES CASTLES WOODEN FLOOR AS THE ROYALE GUARDS MARCHED BY IN ONEE-CHAN. CROWS CAWED, SIGNIFYING THE DARK NEXT PART OF THE STORY THAT WILL HAPPEN IN A FEW SOMETHINGS.
THE ROYAL GUARDIANS WERE GETTINGN UPSET BECAUSE OF THE CURRENT SITUATION.
KING ZELDA HAD LOCKED HIMSELF AWAY FOR YEARS NOW, TELLING NOONE TO EVER ENTER HIS ROOM.
But why? What is the purpose of his strange action? Why abandon a thriving society such as Hyrule? Maybe he could feel what was to come. What would transpose itself onto the hearts of the men in the world of Hyrule. Dark hearts. Souls were unhappy, dark souls, dark people, dankness everywhere.
THE GUARDS WERE GROWING UNREARY ABOUT THIS SITUATION. Why GUARD A KING THAT DOES NOTHING FOR ITS PEOPLE. On this day, someone finally grew sick and tired of this and entered the Kong's chambers and found a realization that was. What happens next will shock you.
A royal guardspan named Popuko opened the doors to the kings chandlers, only to discover...no one was There! It was completely empty, BUT WHERE IS THE KING NOW?
Anyway the royal guars decided the only thing to do now is to have an erection to erect a president of Hyrule (AN: hhaha geddit?!)
Meanwhile: A very nice girl was sitting in her room, before she heard a voice.
"Sara Osborne," it said.
"Who r u?" axed Sara.
"My name is Elgnit, and I am a conservative Christian man. I hate the evil gays and love Donald Trump."
"Mii 2!"
"Sara, I have a question for you. Would you like to become the president of Hyrule?"
AN: Dun dun dun! Is Sara going to become HYRULES president? If Tim ever became America's president, he'd be even worse than Trump and Hitler combined! Didn't you think this chapter was dark an spookey RIGHT GUYS?! Anyway, happy two year anniversary! Thank you for reading, and I hope you will continue reading until the end!