Chapter 76: Welcome to the Jam
AN: Hey guys, I'M BACK! And guess what? I'm graduated! It's weird being out of high school forever, but (hopefully) I'll have more time for my stories (maybe). And now that I'm graduated, I don't have to see that bastard Tim anymore, YAY! I'm really sorry again for the lack of updates. And I know that there's been a month-long gap in between each of the chapters recently, but I've been pretty busy. By the way, I wrote a one-shot crack fic! It's a My Hero Academia fanfic titled Frog Chick vs. the Ottoman Empire, so if you're a fan of that show, maybe you should check it out! I also wrote a Hamilton and Pop Team Epic crossover fic called Poppin' Revolution, so maybe you could check those out as well!
Chapter Seaventyfiev Recap!: Senyor Lonk es el drug dealer, he joins with el Walter Blanco a sell el drugs, the go a mexiko, ellos fighto el drugo dealeros, they muerto, Skippy Gonzales vs link, loink dies RIP!
Chaptre beggin!
"Hey guys its me link the her of tim back again for another great chapterr of Tings Avengers: the Tingle! In todays chapter, I will do something funny like killing people haha!"
Link the hero of time thought for a second. "I need to think of something cool to do this chapter! I know ill ask that bitch linkle, she fucking sucks! Yo Linkle more like fuckle!"
"THE FUCK DO U WANT LINK!" yelled linkle, stabbing IReland to death.
"I need an idea for todaays chapter, bitch. Wats something that's popurar rite now?"
"I don't fukcing no u bitch maybe that one game baldis bassics or whatever da fuck its called!"
"That's a ggod idea I'm glad I came up with it on my own, cont!"
"NOw fuck off cont, u should spread some vegemite on your cock and put it in a tazmanian devil's mouth!"
"Oh yah? I hope a drop bear fuckkin smashes u, fookin cont!"
Aniway lonk decided 2 make a chapter about the edumacational game Blaldies basic bitch.
"ALLRITE CLASS ANSWER QUEsTIONS OR U DIE!" yelled link as he kidnapped navi again.
Navi didn't get any spoken lines this chapter because the building collapsed and killed link and navi forever THE END!
Tingle town. Population: Death. Country: Hyrule. State: New South Wales. Mayor: Tingle. Population Density: Death.
Tinge and ihis bestest friends were hanging out.
"By the way, the Anti-Tingling Sensation is going to attack us today," said Tingle, playing his favorite video game, Mother 9 (it was only released in Malaysia).
"Okay," said that one anime boy who likes candy.
"By the way, your new name is Candy Man," said Tingle.
"Seriously?" questioned candy man.
"But how do you know about this?" asked Octavio, doing hentai with Moe in the bathroom.
"We had a spy on the inside, that's right, SNAS UNDERTALE! He became their team slave and did physical labor for them, also giving me information about the team."
"So, should we get ready?"
"Yes. Epona, get the rest of the team."
"As you wish, my lord."
Epona interrupted Hanibal form watching his animes like JoJo's Circus while niko niko ny had an argument with Karen over whether Joe or Steve is superior and ben was being an asshole like mew2 as usuaal and nebbuy watched the Vietnam War anime about penguins called Penguin Memories (its actually a real anime, look it up) and blair was being a slutty cat like usull.
But when they open el door, some bad guys were already here! They were...THE ANTI TINGLING SENSATION!
"Why, long time no see, Tingle," said Yoshi. Yoshi is an evil criminal from a Pulitzer Prize winning novel known as the Hot Topic Krew, written by none other than Fyodor Dostoyevsky. He is extremely dangerous, being a terminator and is what we call a dinosaur sensation.
"Welcome to my secret hideout, Yoshi! A little birdie told me you were coming!"
"Ah, you must be referring to Snas Undertale. I killed him once I found out that you sent him to spy on me."
"actually i'm still alive," said Snas Undertale. BANG BANG.
"I might as well introduce the rest of my team members while we're here."
THey all got into a formations like the Htk or something, yelling out their naams.
"Yoshi!"
"Neigh!" (lil sebastion can't talk because he's a horse).
"Inspector Gadget! I'm always on duty!"
"Sanic dot exe!"
"Carmen Sandiego!"
"Bloody Sherlock Holmes! The gay is afoot!"
"Squidward!"
"CRAYMOND!"
"Raku-chan, nyaaaaaaaa~ desu~!"
"Reggie Fils-Aimé!" (he's not going to say his catchphrase).
"Alolan Exeggutor!"
"Fallen Angle, Yohane!"
And that's the team! Except Link is also part of the team, but he died so he isn't able to make it. Linkle wasn't able to make it to here either because she died in a forest fire.
"Now its time for our team!" yelled TInlglljf. ANd so they are begin.
"Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!"
"Epona!"
"Hannibal Lector!"
"BEN!"
"Waldo!"
"Candy Man!" (that's his new name).
"DJ Octavio!"
"MOE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
"Blair, meow meow!"
"Karen!"
"Nebby, pew pew!"
"Nico Nico Nii~!"
Now that both teams have announced their nombres, they must get ready to fight.
"So, how are we going to battle?" questioned Tingle.
Yoshi rubbed his dino hands together like the evil dude he is. "Easy. We'll settle this with...a game of basketball!"
Everybody get up it's time to slam now
We got a real jam goin' down
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance do your dance at the Space Jam
Alright
Come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Come on and slam if you want to jam
The two teams made it to the nearest basketball playing building place and got ready for the game. Tingle and Yosh were the coaches to their teams and everyone wore basketball uniforms.
Meanwhile in the new Kirby game called Kirby Universe 64: the Crystal Gems:
Kirbyr was fighting the doing the fight against the final boos of kirby named Giygas with his space allies Tarantula, goodra, and Monica doki doki.
"Yuo cannut beat me I am god," say giggles.
"U r not god!" yell kirb. "There is only 1 true god! And that god is me, BITCH!" Kirby took out his Kirb ball and three it at giga.
"Go doki doki!"
"Doki doki!" said doki doki, just as she did when she assassinated prime minister Steven Harper in 1802.
"Doki doki use your z power!"
"Doki doki"
Dokidoki panic used her mega evolutions attack on gigoose and he died.
"But then..." said tingle because he's narrating these events as he's watching hem on his iPhone before the game. "The happy drug salesman appeared!"
"Ho ho ho I have a deal for you young girl," he said to the young girl know as Kirbing.
"What is it?"
"Do you know that bitch Magolor who betrayed you?"
"Yah."
"Well I have him right here!"
Magilor was in bag shape, as his wrapper was torn off and he was partially eaten. U cold see the creamy filling inside.
"Yum food!" said Kievy. Kirbi was a fan of full medal alchemist.
"I'll trade him for your smash switch leaks and your nuclear launch codes!"
"Ok!"
Then after karby left with his new yummy egg, the happy drug salesman transformed to revali his real form! He wasn't just the normal himself, but he is also being a fusion because like it's Kirby Universe in the game! The happy Drug sAlesman was also...find out later!
Hey tingle "said th happy drugnsalesman" "I have what you need!"
"Good," said Tingle.
BACK AT THE BASKET:
A whole crowd shooed up 2 the B.I.G game, cheering on they're favorito teams. The hole basketball sport place seats was packed completely.
Also, these two wiches named Koume and Kotake were the announcers.
"And that is why I headcanon Sadam Hussein as trans," said Koume.
"Koume, the mic was already on," whispered Kotake.
"Shi- I mean, welcome, basketball fans, to another eventful game! The two teams are having a disagreement and decided to settle it through some good old basketball!"
"That's right! On one team is the Tingling Sensation, with their coach being Tingle. Tingle is a fairy enthusiast and al around nice guy who has done many great things like being Tom Hanks' father and banning Florida from Earth."
The other side," continued Koume, "is the Anti-Tingling Sensation, coached by Yoshi. This little green dinosaur may be a cutie, but don't be fooled by his cuteness; he is a force to be reckoned with, being a cyborg of unspeakable power. He is well known for his run-ins with the law, specifically about tax fraud. Who are you rooting for, Kotake?"
"I've got to go with Tingle. He's just so nice, and plus, look at that ass!"
"I'm rooting for Yoshi! He's a cutie, as well as being such a cool dude. Anyway, let's get the game started!"
Both teams got ready to begin. The two coaches gave the teams coaching information to coach them.
Each team has both good and bad players, the strong players being Epona, Hannible, and DJ Octopuss on Tingle's team and Sanic dot xxx, Reggie, and Exegguggutor on Yosh team. Everyone else wasn't very good, and Waldo and Carmen Go Sans Diego Go were mistiriousli missing.
"Well, Yoshi," said Tingle, "Let's hope for a good game."
Yoshy glared. "Yes, an easy win for my team."
As it was time to slam now, he teams got into formation to get a real jam going down, and they were welcomed to the Space Jam.
"Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam!" exclaimed Kotake.
"Alright!" yelled the teams.
Ant so the geam begoned.
SUPER FAST SLAM DUNK TEAMS ARE PLAYING BASJET BALL DUNK REGGUE USES HIS STRONG MUSCLES AND HOT BODY TO GET A HOLE IN ONE, STRIKE! HANNIBAL HIKES THE BALL TO OCTAVIO WHO FUNNELS THE BALL INTO THE GOAL! THEN EPONA HAIL MARIES AND DOES A DIAGONAL CRUYFF INTO THE BASKET! TOUCHDOWN! SANIC SUPERSPEEDS THE BALL WITHIOUT ANYOne EVEN S EING!
The game went on for hours as the crowd was on the edge of their seats. Both teams were so great, even the bad players were better than Michelle Jordan and Shack and Bugs Bunny and Le Brown Jamie and Charls Barklii and kobee Brine and Magic JonTron combine. Now there was one minute left on the game, but Yojsis teem was winning 905-900! During a break tinkle groundnut a new idea. "Let the coaches play in the game for the last minute."
"I'll be willing to do that," said Youshi. "That means I can beat you even harder!"
The referees agreed and let Tingle and Yoshi play. The moment the buzzer rang for the game to continue, the two leaders zoomed forward as the coolest game in the history of sports forever continued. SUPER SPEED POINT ANOTHER POINT BANG BANG BANG BOOM FAST!
Now Tingle was good enough to get enough points to catch up to Yoshi, but they were tied, both having 92839420 points. Literally only 1 millisecond was left on the clock!
Tingle knew this was really go time. Time slowed down, as he was using his superspeeed and it was like everyone else was paused. Popplio (who if you remember, is part of Tingle's head) started to analyze the situation. "Let's see, although you could definitely make it to the basket in time, Exeggutor is blocking it with his head. I don't know if there's any way to make the shot."
"Unless..." said Tingle, "I could get the basket to me."
Tingle punched the ground so hard that the entire court went flying in pieces into the sky. Everyone else was launched off the court and Tingle jumped from piece to piece in the air with the ball toward the now flying basket. But suddenly, Yoshi flutter jumped toward the ball!
"Ah, you're much faster than I expected," said Tingle.
"I activated an experimental hyper speed mode," said Yoshi. "Prepare to lose, rip-off."
Yoshi activated his jet pack and Tingle launched himself off the rubble as they dodged flying rubble and explosions.
They soon neared the basketball, a mile into sky, with the basket flying right by it. Yoshi shot his tongue toward the ball, but Tingle used a sudden boost of speed to travel faster than the speed of light, creating a black hole that threatened to destroy the world. Tingle absorbed the black hole, still moving at the speed of light, and slam dunked the basketball into the basket with force the world had never seen. "BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
Time unpaused, as the entire city was in ruins. All that was left of the stadium was a huge crater.
Yoshi, confused of what just happened, looked at Tingle, only to see him eating at a buffet table that he set up in the crater.
"What. The. Fuck?!"
"Hey, Yosh! Did you here about the great news! I won the game! Care to join me for a victory meal?"
"God FUCKING DAMMIT!" Yoshi punched a trash can, sending it flying into the sun.
"Well," said Koume into the microphone, "It looks like Tingle won." She and Kotake then fell to the ground and died.
"Good game," said Tingle all smugly, putting out his hand.
Yoshi reluctantly shook his hand. "You may have defeated me here, but I'll become stronger before our next battle. The next time you see me, I will obliterate you."
"I'll looking forward to seeing you try! Let's go, team!"
Tingle and his team left as Yoshi did the same.
And so this game went on in history as the greatest basketball game in the history of the world and Tingle is the best basketball player in the universe.
THE END!
AN: Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter! Unless you're Tim, then piss off. I'm actually thinking that this story won't have too many more chapters, but I still have some plans for now. Just know that there's an ending in sight! Bye!