Renegade Runaways :: Chapter Thirty Two

Bo took a deep breath as he unlocked the front door of the home he'd shared with Hope for the many years before he disappeared. He wasn't sure why, but he was anxious. Nervous. He pushed the door open and attempted to push back the unwelcome feelings.

The house was dark, but memories swarmed him anyway. The walls that surrounded him were his home. He stood in the middle of his safe haven, but he didn't feel safe. He felt apprehensive. He was certain that he would wake up and it would all be a dream.

He heard Hope walk through the door behind him and he turned to see her with Ciara in her arms. He wanted to laugh at her. Ciara was getting too big to be held by her. Instead, his heart swelled and tears threatened him. He didn't want to go back to the pit. He didn't want to have to dream of seeing them.

"Bo?" Hope called softly. The house was still dark. She couldn't see his face, but she could tell that something was wrong, "What's wrong?"

Bo shook his head and forced words to crawl up and out of his tight throat, "Nothing."

"Brady," Hope insisted, now certain that her husband was upset.

"Let me take her," Bo replied. He scooped Ciara out of Hope's arms and took her upstairs. He knew this house. Not much had changed. His feet knew exactly where to take him, even though his mind raced with preoccupied thoughts.

He inhaled the scent of Ciara's soft, silky, hair before tucking her gently into her bed. He'd missed so many nights of this simple privilege. He didn't want to miss anymore. He wiped at a stray tear that had managed to escape down his cheek and kissed her forehead. She looked so innocent. He kissed her once more, before pulling the covers up around her shoulders and placing Tommy Bear within her reach.

Downstairs, Hope tried not to pace. The walls of her house stared back at her. It was quiet. Her heart raced. They'd waited so long to make it to this destination, but she didn't feel like the journey was over. She turned on the lights, attempting to help herself feel normal. Bo's footsteps on the stairs made her turn and look. His shoulders were heavy. His face distant.

"Bo, what's wrong?" Hope whispered, "You're scaring me."

Bo swallowed. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He was overwhelmed. He stared at her, reminding himself that she was real. She'd been real this entire time. The sparkle of her wedding ring caught his eye and his mind took him back to New Orleans. They'd made love until the sun came up. He smiled softly.

Hope approached him. He was silent, and clearly lost in thought. She caressed his face, "Please talk to me."

Bo pulled her to his chest, wrapping her up as tight as he could in his strong arms, "I feel like this isn't real."

Hope exhaled and rested her head on his chest, "It's real Brady."

"Running kept me preoccupied with keeping you safe and staying alive," Bo replied quietly, "Now, I have time to think about what happened to me…Where I've been…Where I go from here."

Hope pulled away just enough to look up into his darkened eyes, "You belong right here. With me. This is our house."

Bo gulped, "You are the only thing I'm sure of."

Hope felt sudden unshed tears in her eyes as she felt the desperation her husband arbored when he kissed her. He held her face tightly with both hands. He kissed her fiercely, like it was the last time. Her heart sputtered. This was a far cry from the night they'd spent in New Orleans. She wanted to go back. She wasn't ready to let go of the fairytale. Reality smacked her in the face as she came up for air and stared at the broken man in front of her.

"Bo, I'm not going anywhere," Hope reminded, "I love you. I'm your wife. By your side is exactly where I want to be."

Bo pulled her back to his chest in a thankful embrace. He trusted her words. He needed her. He had a few things to work through.

Hope reached for his hands and kissed each tensed fist as she entwined their fingers, "I'm here for you. I'll do whatever it takes to help you through this."

Bo attempted to crack a smile. He pulled at the lapels of her coat jacket and attempted to take it off of her, "Including distracting me with sex?"

Hope almost laughed, but managed a disappointed glare, "Brady, I'm serious!"

Bo dove for her exposed neck, "Mmm… me too."

She relaxed into his arms and giggled as he made a trail up to her lips. She was never safe from the spell he could cast on her.

"MOMMY!"

Bo and Hope broke apart abruptly at the sound of their daughter's shrill scream. Hope closed her eyes and sighed with concern, "I was afraid these would happen again."

"Nightmares?" Bo questioned.

Hope nodded and kissed him quickly, "Be right back."

"Duty calls," Bo raised his eyebrows. His heart ached. He didn't want his little girl to suffer anymore. He was left alone in the living room as Hope ascended the stairs.

Halfway up she stopped and called to him, "Bo."

He looked at her expectantly, but didn't reply.

"It's okay to not be okay." Hope replied.

Bo swallowed her words. She knew him well. He was inclined to beat himself up for being torn up about what happened to him. He was done running. He watched her disappear. He was left alone with the walls of his past staring him in the face. He stared back at them.

He'd been dreaming of this day. The last thing he was going to do was take it for granted.