SIMON

"I think Baz is plotting something."

Penny sighs deeply. "Simon - and I say this with the utmost affection - shut the fuck up. You and Baz are dating now, I'm done listening to your conspiracy theories about him plotting something."

"But he is plotting something!" I protest. "He's got to be!"

Penny lets out a long groan. "I know I'm going to regret asking this, but... What makes you think he's plotting something?"

This is, of course, the question I both least and most wanted to get. See, I know Baz is up to something. I can just tell. (I've basically got a sixth sense for that sort of thing.) (Even if Penny thinks it's over-exaggerated.)

Unfortunately, Penny's going to want more of an explanation than that, and I'm not sure how to give it to her.

"He's been asking me questions," I say. "Lots of them."

"About what?"

"My favorite things. Favorite foods, favorite drinks, favorite music..."

"Oh, how terrible," Penny deadpans.

"And! He's been being cagey about his mobile. He's always doing things on it, and he never lets me see."

"Maybe he just wants you to mind your own business," Penny says, which is incredible unhelpful.

"Penny! He's plotting something!"

Penny sighs, even more deeply than before. "Simon. Do you trust him?"

I hesitate, but only for a moment. It may be stupid of me, considering how recently we were mortal enemies, but...

"I do."

Penny nods. "Good. Now shut up about him plotting something. If you're really worried, ask him. I'm not sure how much talking you two do between snogging, but I bet you can find a way."

I make a face (Baz and I do talk, and really, there's not that much snogging) and leave in a huff. I almost trip over my tail, which is always fun, and my wings are awkward in doorways, but I manage the best I can.

That's all I've really been doing lately: managing the best I can.

It's been about a month and a half since the Mage died. The inquiry is still ongoing, but it doesn't seem like me or Penny is going to be charged with anything. A few people made noises about investigating Baz too, considering he was there, but Penny and I both swore he hadn't done anything, and Baz's father made it quite clear he wouldn't stand for any investigation of his son. Considering that Baz managed to pretty much singlehandedly deescalate tensions enough that the Old Families are no longer chomping at the bit to start a war, no one really wanted to point too many fingers at him, both out of gratitude and fear of him undoing what he did. (Baz wouldn't do that, I'm pretty sure, but I'm also pretty sure the Families wouldn't stand for the investigation, and I don't think he could talk them down twice. I'm not sure he expected to be able to talk them down one.)

Other than occasionally showing up to testify, though, I haven't been doing much for the past month and a half. I don't have magic anymore, so I can't go to Watford. Penny's not finishing the year either, so it wouldn't feel right to be there anyway. I've basically been trying to get used to my wings and tail, which stubbornly refuse to go anywhere, and keep my head above water with everything else. I've started video calling with a magickal therapist, which seems like it might help, but we haven't had that many appointments so far, so it hasn't done much yet.

The person who has helped a lot, against all expectations, is Baz.

Penny says that, in retrospect, Baz having a crush on me makes a lot of sense, and me maybe having a crush on him (I'm still trying to figure out if I did) makes even more. Apparently, we were both "obsessive," me especially, and if it was just us trying to figure out our feelings, it makes us "unsurprisingly emotionally incompetent." Baz rolled his eyes at that and told Penny she wasn't much better, and she retorted that at least she never tried to kill the guy she liked, and then it became a whole thing and I zoned out pretty fast. I'm pretty sure Penny and Baz like each other, but sometimes it's hard to tell. At the very least, they both seem to have agreed not to fight too much, for my sake. I'd appreciate that more if I didn't think it was sort of because they think I'm fragile.

Except maybe I am fragile, honestly.

Maybe that's why I'm focusing on the signs that Baz is maybe plotting something. At least it's something normal, when nothing else is. That sounds like something my therapist would say if I told her about all this. She'd probably say I'm trying to "go back to what I know" or something. That's what she said when I said that sometimes I just wanted to go back into the Normal world and disappear the way I would during the summers, alone and responsible for no one but myself. Apparently, that's regressing and isolating myself and not a good thing, so I'm sticking with Penny instead.

And Baz, as weird as that is to think. I'm sticking with Baz.

Maybe I don't need to be worried about whatever he's plotting after all.

He's definitely still plotting something.

BAZ

Plotting, as anyone who's tried could tell you, isn't always easy. I do like to think that I got pretty good at plotting to make Snow's life miserable, though.

Plotting to make his life better? That's basically like starting from scratch.

I am, as most people would attest, dramatic, and I can be sappy, and I might have watched more romantic comedies than most teenage boys. (Sue me, I was living vicariously through them, since it seemed like I'd die before getting a chance to have my own romance.) With all that in mind, you'd think it would be easy for me to plan a Valentine's date.

It is, in actuality, not. At all.

I don't have any experience with this, is the thing, and I don't really have anyone to ask about it. Other than a handful of quick flings that don't really count, I haven't ever been with anyone before Simon, and the possible people I could ask include my father, who definitely won't want to discuss me dating a boy (especially the Chosen One) and my aunt Fiona, whose advice will be... questionable at best. I suppose I can ask my step-mother, who's never had as much of a problem with my queerness as my father, but she also doesn't know Simon at all, so I don't know how much she could help. My best bet would be to ask one of Simon's friends, but my only real options there are Agatha, who won't work for many obvious reasons, and Penny, who won't work because she's a) basically attached at the hip with Simon and b) probably not about to keep a secret from him, especially not for my sake.

Maybe I should ask my step-mother after all.

I've asked Simon about his favorite things, trying to figure out a perfect date for him based on that. Maybe if I work with my step-mother and tell her all I know, she can figure out what to actually do with the information. That might be my best bet, honestly. I've only got a week left until Valentine's Day, so time is limited. Maybe between me and my step-mother, we can actually be a functional romantic partner.

I've been having some trouble with that.

I've never done this before. I've never been vulnerable with anyone like this before. I struggle to be open with my own family, for Crowley's sake. How am I supposed to be open with the boy who was my mortal enemy up until about two months ago? I love him, probably a ridiculous amount, but that doesn't make it easy.

I thought it would. I thought that Simon and I would get together, and everything would fall into place, and we'd have a perfect happily ever after, like this was some sort of fairytale. I thought we'd both be happy together. (I think we're happy about being together, even if we're not happy about other things.) (I hope Simon is happy about being together.)

As it turns out, life isn't that simple, and there isn't a spell to smooth out awkward beginnings like this. If there were a spell, if there were instructions, I could do this. I'm good at magic, and I'm good at following formulas. I thought I was following a formula. Save the day, kiss the boy, win the happily ever after. But I must have missed a step somewhere, or maybe I did something wrong, because it didn't work out that way.

Or maybe that's never been a real formula in the first place.

I guess it doesn't really matter either way, because the end result is the same. I've finally gotten the boy, and I'm not sure if I can keep him. I'm not sure if I deserve him. After all, Simon Snow saved the entire magickal world. Doesn't he deserve someone who can be open with him, who knows how to be a good boyfriend, who can plan a date without having to ask his step-mother for advice? (Doesn't he deserve someone who's alive?) (He told me I was alive, but I'm still not sure if I believe it.)

I'm not sure if I deserve Simon, but until he tells me I don't, I'm sure as hell going to keep trying. And if that means going to my step-mother for advice...

Well, we all have to make sacrifices, and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't the worst one to make.

SIMON

Baz is definitely plotting something, and I think his family might be involved.

Not his dad, I don't think. Or, well, I don't know if his dad is involved or not, actually. I haven't seen anything that would indicate he's part of this, but I also haven't necessarily seen anything that would indicate he isn't, so I guess the jury is still out on that part. But Baz's step-mom is definitely involved in his plotting, and I still don't know what they're up to.

It's driving me absolutely crazy.

Penny has banned any sentences that include both the word "Baz" and the word "plotting" (as well as other synonyms like "planning," "scheming," and "conspiring"). She says I'm being ridiculous and need to stop. I don't really have any other friends to talk to about this, so I guess I've stopped talking about it out loud, but I definitely haven't stopped thinking about it. If Baz is plotting something…

I don't have any proof that what he's plotting is bad, technically. And I do still trust him, at least mostly. But…

I did mention this to my therapist. Not in a lot of detail, just a vague, Remember that boyfriend who used to be my enemy? He's acting suspicious again and I don't know what to do. She suggested that he might be having a hard time adjusting to things too, and that might be why he seems suspicious. She also suggested that I might be overly paranoid, although she said it in a nicer way. She says I've been through trauma, and that trauma victims often have difficulty trusting people. Since Baz and I were enemies for years, it makes sense that it might be hard for me to trust him, especially after everything I've just been through.

She might be right, but I do feel like I trust Baz. At least, I think I do. He loves me, I can trust that. And I'm pretty sure he cares about me, although I know those two don't always go together, even when they should. My concern is just… Well, he admitted he's liked me for a while, and that never stopped him before. And maybe he hasn't really made many deliberate moves against me in the past few years, but he's always been plotting. (At least, I think he's always been plotting. In retrospect, is it possible that some of the times I thought he was plotting, he was actually pining?) (I'd ask if I weren't worried it might make Baz get all huffy.)

My therapist also said I should probably talk to Baz about this before I got too freaked out about it. That's probably good advice, but what if he is plotting something, and when I confront him on it, he puts his plot into motion? What if he's not plotting something, and he gets offended that I thought he was, and he dumps me? Neither is a good solution. I don't know what to do.

Which is a bad thing, since Baz is coming over any minute now.

The Bunces aren't hugely thrilled about having Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch in their house, but Penny is insistent that he was the one who stopped the war, and they know he's my boyfriend, so they're allowing it. We have to keep the door open whenever Baz is over, like we didn't share a private room for seven and a half years, but that's okay. It's not like we end up spending a huge amount of time alone together anyway; somehow, Penny always shows up and hogs my boyfriend with discussions about magic and politics. To be fair, that only tends to happen when Baz and I aren't talking about much in the first place, though. Both of them try not to talk too much about magic while I'm there, probably cause they think it'll upset me or something. (I don't think it would, but…) There was one time when they thought I was asleep, and they had a whole conversation about my magic specifically. That was a little awkward at first, but I had my head in Baz's lap and he was petting my hair, so I did end up actually falling asleep before too long. Hearing them talk about my magic was a little weird, but it's also kinda weird to know we're all dancing around the topic. I don't know if any of us are really ready to have a conversation about it, though, so I guess that can wait for now.

Anyway, none of that is important, because the important thing is that Baz is on his way over, and he's probably plotting something, and I don't know what to do. Back when we were at Watford, when I thought he was plotting something, I'd get up in his face and tell him, Whatever you're plotting, I'll stop you. And then Baz would smirk at me, that stupid smirk that always got me so riled up, and he'd say, Will you, now? I'd like to see you try. And nothing would ever go anywhere, of course, but at least it would be something. Now, though…

There's a knock on the door, and Penny yells up the stairs, "Simon! Baz is here!" I swallow hard, trying to shove down all of my wayward emotions, and then I start heading to the door.

I'll just figure out what to do as I go along. It can't go too badly, can it? (It absolutely can, I just hope it won't.) (I really, really hope it won't.)

BAZ

Penny opens the door, her eyebrows going up as she takes in the sight of me. "Dressed up much?"

"Some of us don't like to dress like slobs," I retort, although now I'm wondering if the suit is too much. It's not even that fancy a suit, but maybe…

Simon tumbles down the stairs in jeans and a ratty t-shirt, even though it's February and not nearly warm enough for that. His wings and tail are visible instead of being spelled into invisibility. My suit definitely looks like too much next to him, but I'm pretty sure Simon is the problem, not me. Not the wings and tail, those are okay, but his clothes aren't. The shirt looks like it has to be at least as old as he is, and the jeans probably aren't too much younger. I try not to give him too disparaging a once-over, but judging by the way his face tightens a little, maybe I'm not successful.

"Do you have some sort of plans, Baz?" Penny asks.

"Check a calendar, Bunce," I reply, then I walk up to Simon. My heart leaps up to my throat, which threatens to make talking difficult, but I swallow it down and say, "Nice outfit, Snow."

Simon looks down at his clothes, as if only just now realizing the difference between what he's wearing and what I'm wearing. "Not all of us can look like a male model all the time."

I arch an eyebrow. "You think I look like a male model?"

Simon flushes a little. He's far too easy to rile up. Maybe I shouldn't be riling him up so much, but…

"Oh!" Penny suddenly says. "Oh, shit!"

"What?" Simon asks, turning to her in alarm.

"Check a calendar," Penny repeats slowly. "Oh, I'm so lucky we're six hours ahead of Chicago!"

She dashes off before Simon can ask her any more questions, so instead he looks to me. "What was that all about?"

"Check a calendar, Snow," I say, far more gently than I said it to Penny. "What day is it today?"

Simon frowns. "Mid-February? I don't know, the fifteenth?"

"Close," I reply. His complete lack of awareness when it comes to the date is starting to worry me a little bit, but it's probably not a problem. Simon can be clueless, but just because he hasn't spent the last few weeks obsessing over this day doesn't mean he doesn't care about it. It's all fine. My step-mother told me to think positive, so that's what I'm doing. (It doesn't come easily to me, but I'll manage somehow.)

"Simon," I say, because I call him that when I'm trying to be soft, "it's February fourteenth. Valentine's Day." I lean in and kiss his cheek. "Be my Valentine?"

Simon stares at me for a disconcertingly long moment. "It's Valentine's Day?" he finally asks.

"Yes, Snow," I reply patiently. "Today is Valentine's Day."

"And you… Do you have plans?"

"Maybe," I reply, because the fact that Simon completely forgot is sort of making my weeks of panic look pathetic.

"Is that what you've been plotting, then?"

I stare at Simon and arch an eyebrow, then decide that doesn't feel like enough and arch the other one as well. "Plotting?"

Simon's face turns bright red. "Well… You've been asking me all sorts of questions, and you wouldn't let me see your mobile, and I knew you were having conversations with your step-mom that you wouldn't tell me about, and it just seemed like, well… plotting."

In retrospect, I can see why Simon would jump to that conclusion. I was plotting, after all, even if it was a more positive sort of plotting than what I used to do.

It's typical Simon, though, to notice that I was plotting something and not notice the bloody date.

"And if I have been plotting?" I ask. "What do you think about it?"

Simon looks me over, and slowly, he starts to smile. "I think this sort of plotting might not be too bad."

I grin back. "Glad to hear it. Now come on, let's get you dressed in something nicer than that, you'll embarrass me."

"Wha- Baz!"

I grab Simon's hand and start dragging him upstairs, and he splutters a little, but follows me without fighting. When we reach the top of the stairs, I turn around and give him a kiss.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Simon."

He smiles at me, the big dopey smile that I always love. "Happy Valentine's Day, Baz."

SIMON

(Okay, so maybe not all of Baz's plotting is that bad.)