OK, so the ship name for this one is super weird. I know. Which reminds me. I'm going to think up ship names for every romantic couple on this, no matter how weird they get (goes for names and couples). If you see a slash in a chapter title, it means that chapter's pairing is platonic, not romantic.

Ship suggested by fallsky279.

That is all. Story now.

CHAPTER FOUR: ALIKIM

"As if," Alix scoffed. "Like anyone could fall in love with Kim. Besides, I figured out ages ago that I'm ace."

Marinette decided not to mention that her cousin was asexual and happily married, that asexual people sometimes were romantically attracted to people.

Marinette wouldn't let Alya say anything when Alix accepted Kim's next dare, to get a selfie with an akuma. (Alya helped with that one.)

Kim, for his part, maintained that he thought of Alix as the world's most annoying sister. He said this many times, usually very loudly. Funnily enough, he mostly said it around Alix.

Alix stuck her tongue out at Kim.

Kim dared Alix to say King Monkey was the best superhero. And not just say it, but raise her hand and say it in the middle of class.

"Yes, Alix?"

"King Monkey is the best superhero!"

"Excuse me?"

Alix lifted her chin. "I said King Monkey is the best superhero."

Ms Bustier frowned in confusion. "Thank you Alix. Now, back to the lesson…"

Alix sighed, resting her chin in her hand. Stupid Kim with his stupid dares. Next time, she wouldn't take the dare. She'd just tell him to eff off.

Kim puffed out his chest. "I dare you to race me. On foot."

Alix narrowed her eyes. "You're on."

Why did I do that?

Kim grinned.

"I dare you to tell Chloé you like her again," Alix shot at Kim.

He accepted, of course. And of course, Chloé rejected him- although more nicely than the first time.

"I dare you to give up your roller skates for one week."

"I dare you to take a selfie with King Monkey."

"I dare you to climb that tree all the way to the top."

"I dare you to babysit Alya's little sisters."

"I dare you to babysit Nino's brother."

"I dare you to-"

"I can't take it any longer."

Both Alix and Kim stared in shock at the tiny monkey...bobblehead...thing poking out of Kim's hoodie.

Kim yelped and batted the thing away. "What is that thing? It's creepy! Agh!"

The monkey thing ignored him, turning to Alix. "Hi. I'm Xuppu. Stop daring my Chosen to do things, it's getting really annoying."

Alix blinked. "Uh-huh. Because Kim being King Monkey makes so much sense."

Kim stopped backpedaling. "Uh...you know?"

Alix rolled her eyes. "Monkey see monkey do. Kim see Kim do. Guess it does make sense."

Kim shrugged. Xuppu nestled back into his hoodie. "While we're on the subject, I have a dare for both of you."

Alix leveled her gaze at the kwami. Kim tried to turn around and look, apparently forgetting that Xuppu was in his hoodie.

"I dare you to go on a date."

Kim stopped trying to see Xuppu and started turning very red.

"A real date," Xuppu continued remorselessly. "Where you go out for a romantic candlelight dinner, hold hands, call each other nicknames, and kiss. Or it doesn't count."

Kim couldn't meet Alix's eyes. "Sorry about my kwami. He doesn't mean it."

"Oh, I mean it," Xuppu said. "I double- no, triple dog dare you."

Kim's head snapped up. "How's Saturday work for you, Alix? Five o'clock?"

Alix shrugged. It wasn't as if she was attracted to Kim or anything. He knew she was ace. "Sure."

Xuppu snickered to himself from the rafters. He'd gotten a camera from Plagg, who'd nicked it from his Chosen. Kim was never going to forget this.

He clicked and got a picture of Kim, dressed up in a nice red shirt and black jeans, pulling out a chair for Alix, who wore dark green jeggings under a short black dress.

Click. A picture of the two looking like an ordinary couple ordering food.

Click click click. There was his proof that they were enjoying it. They were holding hands and smiling. Xuppu did a happy dance.

Ooo. This was his favorite part. Xuppu hefted the camera. It was harder to manage now that he was flying, but there is very little that can stop a determined kwami.

He clicked at exactly the right moment.

Even after they were officially together, married, with kids- heck, even after they had grandkids- Xuppu was surprised at exactly how much the two blushed when he showed them the picture of them actually enjoying their first kiss.

It never got old.

As you may be able to tell, I imagine Xuppu as a very mischievous kwami. Don't know why. It just seems right.

Next chapter out within a week. As always, reviews make the next chapter come sooner. Thanks to The Keeper of Worlds for reviewing every chapter so far!