Chapter 21, Cold Fire
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sarah asked, her eyes glued to the mirror on the back of her door, staring at the unsettling expression looking back at her.
"For the hundredth time, yes! Where's your Halloween spirit?" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. Sarah's hesitant sneer grew.
"Are you sure it's that kind of party? I don't want to look like an idiot." She said, staring her new ensemble up and down.
"Does that mean you're ready?" Came the voice.
"Uh..." Was all Sarah could muster.
"I'm coming in." Intruded the voice.
Sarah took a step back, just barely avoiding the door as Kara swung it open, who then stopped just long enough for a twinkling grin to spread from ear to ear. Sarah tried not to groan.
"Well aren't you sexy." Kara said, closing the door behind her. Sarah picked at the fabric clinging to her body.
"I look just a tad bit ridiculous." Sarah retorted, turing her gaze once more to the mirror. Kara stood beside her now.
"Don't be silly, you're rockin'." She said, attempting to make a joke. Sarah scoffed.
"Haha you're a funny one." Sarah said sarcastically.
I can't believe I'm wearing this...Sarah thought. Though, deep down, she couldn't deny it, she did look damn good, but it was the context, not the visual appeal of her costume that left such an uncanny frown on her face.
"Why did I decide to be an 80's rock star again?" Sarah asked, her eyes trailing from her overly feathered hair all the way to her leather platform boots. Kara laughed.
"Because you love wild hair, bright colors and really tight pants." Kara replied. Sarah's head dropped. Would the references never cease?
"How could I forget?" Was all she said. Forcing her attention away from the mirror, she turned to Kara. "And what are you supposed to be exactly?" She asked, trying not to laugh.
"A sexy bunny, duh. See my tail?" She asked, pointing to a white tuff on her rear. Sarah rolled her eyes a bit.
"Oh, I thought you were a french maid with some excess lace coming out of your ass. But now that I know, how many men do you think will be hopping down your trail tonight?" Sarah teased, giving her a kidding smile. Kara gave a dismissive wave.
"Well isn't that kind of the point? We're not exactly going out trick or treating with the kiddies. Who knows, maybe we'll find one that can actually meet your expectations." Kara said, turning her attention to her own image in the mirror.
"I prefer the man who exceeds them" Sarah said, trying to shift her spandexy leather pants into a more comfortable position.
"That's attractive." Kara said sarcastically, and they both laughed.
After a few more minutes of touch ups and starring at themselves in the mirror,
"So, think you're ready yet? I'm pretty sure your hair is big enough." Kara said, playing with a wild curl of Sarah's mane.
"I suppose...but you're driving." She said, tossing Kara the keys.
They both eyed one another, as each dawned matching black trench coats before leaving.
"I thought you wanted the attention." Sarah teased, reaching for the door.
"Have you seen what I'm wearing? It's cold outside." Kara replied.
Sarah stopped in mid stride, and turned back into the house.
"Aw, we were so close that time." Kara laughed. "Sarah, what are you doing? Let's go!" She hollered, trying to spot her missing friend.
Sarah b-lined it straight to the living room. Everything was a blur, and she had no idea why she was now holding the crystal ball in her hands.
"I'll be right there, I forgot something." Sarah hollered back.
She stood a moment, trying to figure out why she had felt such a sudden urge just then. She had no need for it, but it seemed important somehow. The little voice in her head told her to take it with her, but she had no idea why. Something's up...why do I feel like you want me to take you with me? She asked the ball. What do you do? Maybe I should take it, just in case... She rationalized.
Sarah scurried past Kara straight for the car.
"Sorry, forgot my phone." She looked back to Kara, who was still standing by the door, a bit confused with Sarah's now hurried behavior. "Come on, you want to go so bad. We're going to miss the party." Sarah said, ushering her friend towards the drivers seat like a valet.
Kara took her place in the drivers seat, and waited for Sarah to find an awkward position that would accommodate her voluptuous hair. A look of worry dawned Sarah's face, Kara snickered.
"Do you think my hair'll get smooshed?" Sarah asked, her voice holding a hint of worry. Kara turned the key, starting the car.
"No. You look great, trust me." She said, finding amusement in watching Sarah strain to maneuver in her leather gear.
"Who ever said beauty is pain is a fucking idiot." Sarah gasped, giving up to simply plop into the seat.
It was loud, and crowded. The scent of stale alcohol drifted over Sarah's nostrils. She gave a snuff as she adjusted to the dingy atmosphere of the bar. She looked around and saw every tacky excuse to dress like a slut imaginable, and scowled a bit seeing the dollar store grade decorations hanging from the ceiling.
"Well this is classy." Sarah said sarcastically. Kara was too busy scoping out the men at the bar to notice much else.
"Oh it's not that bad. And besides, the band is s'posed to be pretty good." Kara said, peering over towards the stage. "Just try to enjoy yourself OK? I don't know what's been up with you lately, but you usually love these things." Kara lectured.
Sarah looked around the room once more, her frown softening.
"Yea, your'e right. I'm just stressing lately. But it is Halloween, so come on, I'll buy you a drink." Sarah said, giving her friend her first sincere smile in a week.
"Guys come and go Sarah, that's why God invented rebounds." Kara said, taking the lead towards the bar. Sarah shook her head.
"I don't think that's completely accurate." Sarah laughed, following her friend through the crowd of people.
The night went by with no particular excitement. Sarah and Kara made their way from one side of the bar to the other, chatting with people, admiring costumes and scoping out guys. She tried flirting once or twice, but found herself completely uninterested. It was about eleven thirty when the band finally showed up.
Sarah watched as faceless beings set up the drums and amps, plugging in wires and tapping the microphone. She was lost in a daze for a minute, focused on controlling her breathing in the tight leather.
"Sarah! Yoohoo?" Kara exclaimed, waving a hand in her face. Sarah shook her head and looked over.
"What?" Sarah said, wondering at the large smile plastered on Kara's face.
"I said, I would like to introduce you to my new friend Tim over here." She said, glancing to the man candy she was hanging off of.
Sarah's eyes narrowed at the man before her. He was tall and thick. He wore a red plaid shirt and plain jeans with a worn pair of cowboy boots.
"What are you supposed to be exactly?" Sarah asked. The man gave a drunken huff, wrapping an arm around kara.
"I guess you can call me Elmer Fudd, and I'm hunting wabbits." He said with glazed eyes. Sarah cracked a smile.
"How convenient." She said, looking to Kara who was simply smiling.
"Tim here tells me he has a friend, Tyler. Isn't that right? He's at the bar over there." Kara said, patting her man of the evening's chest and pointing over towards the bar.
Sarah gave a polite smile as she turned her gaze towards the bar.
And then hell froze over. Her eyes locked, and the chatter of her friend seemed little more than a distant murmur. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, as her eyes bore deep into scene at the corner of the bar.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Sarah snapped under her breath. Kara, seemingly bewildered as to what was going on, gave Sarah a confused expression.
"What?" Kara asked, turning her head so her eyes could follow as Sarah darted into the crowd.
"No fucking way...I swear to God..." Sarah mumbled, stomping through the crowd. Her eyes were fixed on one thing, and that one thing was lighting a fire within her that she had forgotten existed.
Leaning against the corner of the bar, was a man. He was tall and lean, with wild blonde hair. He wore black leather pants and a deep red jacket. He held a cynical smile on his face as his finger traced along the collarbone of a short blonde woman dressed as a fairy. Sarah ground her teeth as she neared them. The sheer audacity! That fucking arrogant son of a bitch! What the hell is he doing here? She screamed over and over.
Sarah was fuming, battling with the realization of just who it was standing ten feet in front of her, and the bubbling cauldron of jealously at the sight of a skinny blonde wretch batting her eyelashes under his caress.
A burnt trail of destruction was left in her wake as she stormed straight to the man she loved to hate. His back was to her, and was seemingly unaware of her approach. Her knees grew more and more shaky the closer she got. She wasn't just angry, she was upset, distressed, and even relieved. She felt the urge to throw herself at him and sob. She felt the urge to slap him across the face.
She was right behind him now, and still he failed to notice her. The way he twirled a finger through the girls hair made her skin crawl. I know you know I'm here asshole! She screamed inside.
"What are you doing here." Sarah demanded, paying no attention to the scoff the blonde woman gave her. Jareth turned slightly, glancing over his shoulder at her. He raised an eyebrow, betraying the explosion that had hit him with a casual glance.
"Ah, Sarah. Fancy seeing you here. You're looking...well." He said so nonchalantly. Sarah scowled.
The truth was, Jareth was already struggling to keep his indifferent facade. He'd been watching her all night, though at a distance. It was crowded, and dark, so he couldn't really get a good look at her, until now that is. Her dark hair was done up bigger than his, and cascaded down her body in the most voluptuous curls. She wore strikingly bold makeup that made her features all the more fierce. As his eyes scanned down her body, he took note of the very form fitting leather crop top she was wearing, exposing her belly button and all her delicious curves. He gave an invisible gulp as his eyes roamed over the slick curve of her tight leather pants, fitted so neatly into black leather boots. He felt an ember ignite within him at the sight of her. He wanted so badly to claim her right there in front of everyone, but he had a plan to stick to. All this, he kept concealed under a roll of the eye and a passive smirk.
"Fancy my ass." Sarah spat, hands on hips. Jareth gave a chuckle.
"Excuse me, we were in the middle of a conversation." Darted the skinny blonde woman, standing too close to Jareth for Sarah's comfort.
"And now we're in the middle of a conversation." Sarah snapped, eyes locked with Jareth's. Jareth held her stare, returning her scowl with a conniving sneer.
"To be quite honest Sarah, you are being rather rude." He said, turning his attention towards the woman to his side, who lit up like a match at his gaze. "I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine. Her name is Stacy, and she's a fairy. How delightful, don't you think Sarah mine?" He said, giving the girl a warm grin.
"I don't give a fuck who she is. What are you doing here." Sarah demanded once more, refusing to give in to her own jealousy.
Sarah's raging aura was bursting at her seams. The woman took a step back, sensing the tension was not based around her.
"I think I'll be going now." Said Stacy, stepping away from the two. Her eyes reluctantly searched for Jareth's, but his attention was solely on the dark haired woman before him. As she backed away, she became concerned. While it was clear the woman was frantic and enraged, Jareth looked almost amused by it.
Sarah scanned Jareth's face for any reaction to the girl's words. She wasn't exactly surprised when he gave none, and continued to hold her gaze. Once the woman was gone, Jareth cracked a smirk.
"Well that was most unladylike of you." Jareth teased. Sarah didn't seem to be finding the same kind of enjoyment he was.
"Answer my question Jareth." She said, her tone a little less angry. He rolled his eyes.
"And you're looking ever so delicious this evening. Might I ask what it is you are pretending to be?" He asked, oh so charmingly.
"I'm a fucking rockstar. Why are you here." She demanded again. Jareth gave an amused huff.
"So this is what you compare me to?" He said, looking her up and down. "I think I understand now." He purred. Gaining nothing but an awkward silence from Sarah he continued speaking. "Ah, why am I here? This is a public venue is it not? Not only that, it's Halloween, the only time of the year you humans seem to have any kind of fashion sense." He said, giving her another obvious once over. She would have been bashful a week ago, but not now. " And, it's easier for me to -blend in." He tacked on.
His casual manner of speaking caused Sarah's anger to dissipate, giving way to the unsettled torment of facing Jareth once again.
"And how convenient you just happen to show up at the very same bar I'm at. You expect me to believe you're here for the party, in the Aboveground? In this rundown shit hole? I'm not buying it." She said, her eyes boring into him as he circled her.
"Sarah, if I'm not mistaken, you're angry with me for not being here to see you?" He said, dipping close to her ear as he walked. "When you made it so clear you-" Sarah cut him off mid-sentence.
"This isn't a game Jareth." She said, arms folded. Jareth stopped and looked down at her, mere inches away.
"No, it isn't." He said, his voice low and soft.
"Why are you here Jareth." She whispered, losing her fight simply because of his proximity. Jareth took a step closer, his gaze cast low.
"I've missed you." He said, raising his hand slightly as if to touch her. He didn't.
"You missed me? You could have come down here at any time, but you didn't. You wait until now. You make it so my first sight of you is hitting it off with some -some fucking bimbo. That's showing me you missed me? You shouldn't be here Jareth.." It was Jareth that cut her off this time.
"Must I take the blame for everything? Was it not you who demanded I return you to this realm? Was it not you who left me- the Underground - yet again?" He was starting to get angry, but caught himself just in time. "It took you long enough to notice me. It seems you were too busy eyeing down tavern junkies to look past your shoulder, forgive me for getting bored." His voice was sharp, but level. Sarah stood her ground.
"So you're here to tell me how this is all my fault? Fine. This is what I wanted, what I asked of you, you were everything I told you to be. And now I'm completely fucking miserable. Are you happy? Does that satisfy you? Are you comforted by the torture your very presence puts on me?" Sarah refused to give in to anything that wasn't anger. It was a good thing the band started playing. Her voice was starting to escalate.
"No." He said.
"Then what? You seem to forget that while this is all my fault, you never once did a god damn thing about it. What do you want from me Jareth? To agree to something that was never said? Never once did you say...what you wanted." Her voice trailed off.
"I want you Sarah." He said, just as calmly.
"What makes now any different from then? Did you not want me a week ago? Were you too afraid of what would happen should you just admit you might actually love me too? And what the hell is with this damn riddle?" Sarah snapped, jerking the crystal from her purse. Jareth caught the crucial bit of information she'd spurted out just then -love me too. Sarah Sarah, finally you say something honest. He glanced down at the clear orb in her hands.
"I haven't the slightest idea of what you are talking about." He said very matter-of-factly. Sarah sneered.
"Bullshit. What speaks with two tongues, though is never heard nor seen? What is sought so vigorously but never wished to touch? What is the answer, that is always wrong? I didn't just think that up one day, you put it in my head. What the hell is up with this crystal?" She demanded. Jareth gave an angry sigh.
"I told you once before, it is whatever you want it to be. Perhaps your pretty little head is more clever than you realize." He sneered.
"Whatever I want it to be? I don't even know what I want it to be! I can't get it to do anything, and yet I have this god damn riddle playing over and over in my head. If it's going to do something it should fucking do it already!" She screamed. Ugh why is this happening! Why did you have to listen to me? Why didn't you just ask me to stay! Urgghhhh! Fuck this riddle, louder and louder. Just take me back, like none of this happened. Like a dream...like the night we played cards...
Sarah looked down when the orb started to glow. What? It glowed brighter and brighter, blocking out their surroundings. She was blinded by the light, forced to close her eyes, only opening them once the light was gone. The first thing she noticed was the smell -there wasn't any. The second was the noise -it was quiet. Her arms fell to her sides once she looked up. Jareth still stood before her, but they were no longer surrounded by costumed partygoers and a badly lit bar room.
"What the hell?" She mumbled, looking around the all too familiar view of Jareth's chambers. "How - how dare you!" She screamed. "You have no right to just bring me here." She exclaimed, starting to back away from him. Jareth did his very best to restrain his anger.
"For the last time woman, I have done NOTHING." He roared. "Instead of arguing with me, maybe you should argue with your own self." He spat. She scowled and waited for him to continue. "You continue to say this and that and yet your thoughts deceive you, precious thing." His glare was just as intense as hers. She looked around the room and then down to the crystal.
It was odd, she was sure she was furious a minute ago. Strangely, she was starting to feel content. Am I really that happy just to be standing in here again... She thought.
"You're telling me I brought us here? That's what this thing does? That this is what I want it to be? That makes no sense." She said, flailing her arms. I subconsciously created a magical teleporter to the Underground? Ughhh, how ironic?
"And why is that?" Jareth asked, his own rage had started growing, not yet sensing Sarah's increasingly settled state. Say it, go on say it, you precious thing. I dare you to lie to me and yourself once more. He snarled.
"Because I don't...because I don't understand any of this! If I wanted it to bring me back here all this time then why hasn't it? And what does transporting me here have to do with a riddle? Why don't I know the answer? Why is it I have no idea what it could possibly be?" She was practically screaming.
"Because that is how you want it to be." Jareth said, slow and calm.
"What?" Sarah said, exasperated. Jareth took a step towards her, making her take a step back.
"Let's pretend you don't detest me as much as you think you do. Let's pretend that somewhere deep down you actually love me. Yes Sarah, I said it. You love me. And let's pretend that your subconscious is just as stubborn as your conscious." Jareth tried to keep his voice calm but failed.
"What are you talking about?" She demanded, halting once her back hit the wall. Jareth placed his arms on either side of her, making sure she couldn't escape, and dipped his head to bring his face level with hers.
"What if I told you that deep down in whatever part of you that isn't trying to convince yourself of how much of a cretin I am, wished to come back. What if I said you conjured yourself a riddle. A riddle, that when solved would bring you back to me." He said, searching her eyes for some kind of understanding.
Sarah stood awkwardly, giving his words serious thought. He was right, she did want to come back...But she didn't understand. Could she have possibly have unknowingly conjured a way to bring herself back to him?
"But, I still haven't solved it. I have no idea...How could it have taken me here if I haven't solved it yet? And how do you know all of this if it's in my subconscious?" She asked, growing suspicious.
"You don't have to speak an answer to know it. And, I know because I've been in your subconscious." He paused, taking amusement in watching the confusion spread across her face.
"What?" Sarah muttered, trying to figure out what he meant. "...The dream?" He shook his head.
"Before you try to blame me once again, let me say that it was not I, but you my lovely pet, who sought to fabricating my dream." Her eyes shot as wide as they possibly could, and her face flushed red with sudden embarrassment. Jareth cracked a smile. "I must say, I didn't see it coming." He said, inching their bodies closer.
"Wha- how?" She started to say, but was cut off once their bodies connected.
Sarah's eyes darted down for a split second, both admiring and detesting the minimal distance between them. No Sarah, don't let him distract you now.
"I don't see what any of that has to do with the riddle, Jareth." She spat, staring him down. Jareth gave a sigh.
"May I give it a try?" He asked. Sarah was silent.
"What speaks with two tongues, though is never heard nor seen? Your true desires. How many times have you said one thing, when you really yearned for another? This is pride my dear, the thing that tells you what you can and can not have, and the thing that blurs my desires completely." He took her hand in his, and took note when she didn't flinch away.
"What is sought so vigorously but never wished to touch? Well, that would be your dreams. Dreams are something to forever strive for, they are hope and happiness. It's like a dog chasing a car, what would happen when it finally caught one? This is fear my darling, fear of the unknown, the thing that anchors you to your world and has pushed you away from me twice." He brought a hand to brush the hair away from her face, a humble grin and sated eyes meeting her wide ones. "It is the thing that has kept my heart quiet." Sarah's eyes grew wider.
"What is the answer, that is always wrong?" There was a pause. "Everything." He said. Sarah cocked her head slightly. "Everything that has led us to where we are now." Her eyes were glued to his, waiting for him to continue. "Pride, fear, hesitation, these are things we must cast aside if we are ever to love. The answer to your riddle my dear, is a lesson. I have learned mine, have you learned yours?" His hand had made its way to unknowingly stroke her cheek. Sarah's eyes had been swelling for some time now, and she fought vigorously to hold it back.
The answer is a lesson? Learning our lessons will bring us together? How cliche'. She tried to scoff at the idea. A riddle when answered will bring me back to you...have I learned a lesson?...Is it really that simple? Is this stupid crystal honestly just some means of relationship counseling? Sarah's mind rambled.
"And what is your lesson Jareth?" She finally asked. Jareth watched the franticness of her eyes, and let a wave of peace wash over him. This was the part he'd been waiting for.
"All this time, I've exhausted myself living up to your expectations of me, been what you needed me to be. Never once, did I live up to my own. You ask me what I want, why I haven't said it before, well I say it now. I want you Sarah, nothing but you. I offer no tricks, no games or bargains. I love you, I think I always have. I want you by my side, to share my every night and day. I want to give you the moon and stars, not because you want them, but because I want to give them. My heart is frozen under the cold fire that is our love, and it aches for your burning caress. To do things for myself, to love you for myself, to love you because I truly do, that is my lesson Sarah." A tear slid down Sarah's cheek, not sure if she was actually hearing everything he was saying.
She found it nearly impossible to speak, and started stuttering.
"I-I'm afraid Jareth...Afraid you didn't really want me, afraid of what would happen. What if it doesn't last Jareth? Can you honestly say you will want me forever? God, we're at each other's throats half the time...If I stayed here..." She looked down to the crystal orb in her hands, wondering if this time she really was stuck here forever, and reconciling with the fact that she might actually happy about it.
"Forever?" Jareth chuckled. "That is not long at all. I told you once, that this is a place for the lost and the lonely. You are most certainly lost Sarah dearest, and I am oh so lonely."
Sarah smiled at the crystal ball in her hands, sniffling her tears away.
"That's Underground." She whispered.
"Yes, and so much more." He said, lowering his head even further. Sarah's smile grew.
"The mighty Goblin King, fallen in love with the mortal who defeated him." She whispered, trying to laugh.
"Sounds tragic." Jareth teased.
"That depends, how does it end?" She asked.
Jareth brought his hand to her chin, raising her face to meet his.
"It doesn't." He whispered against her lips, as he planted the most weightless kiss upon them.