I do not do same-character ships. That being said, this suggestion kept nagging at me, and then...boom. Canon-compliant inspiration.

Ship suggested by Evolved Ignis. Which, thank you for that, Evolved Ignis, because this ended up hilarious.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be taken seriously. A crazy idea popped into my head, and it did not care to be taken seriously. I don't even have the excuse of being tired! But this is totally crack, which I never thought I'd write. I can't even take myself seriously anymore.

LADYNETTE

She knew it was a mistake the instant the words left her mouth. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.

Alya snapped her fingers. "So that's it. That's why you were always jealous. Not because of Adrien, but because you thought she might replace you."

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut. No. Nonono. This was not happening.

Adrien looked crushed. Poor boy. She'd have to visit him as Ladybug and explain things. Soon.

Lila's lip wobbled. "I never knew," she whispered. "Marinette, why didn't you tell me? Why did you hate me, just for being her best friend? A girl doesn't have to have the same person as her best friend and her girlfriend."

Marinette inhaled, eyes still closed. In her mind, she heard Tikki's voice: Play along, Marinette. Bring her down with her own lies.

Tikki's voice.

...maybe not Tikki's words.

Marinette opened her eyes. "You wondered why I never liked Lila? It's because I always knew she was lying. Ladybug told me she hadn't even met Lila before Lila started claiming she was Ladybug's best friend. Fang was Jagged Stone's first pet. Ladybug told me that she has a sense for liars, and that Lila was lying. Lila couldn't be her best friend, because I was."

"Jealous much?" Lila shot back.

"She's telling the truth," a voice said from the roof.

Everyone turned to see Ladybug on the roof.

"Marinette and I have been dating since before Lila first came to Paris," Ladybug said. "I tried telling her it wouldn't do much good to call Lila out without support, but she didn't want to see me hurt." Ladybug leapt down and started walking toward a very confused Marinette.

Before Marinette had entirely worked through what the heck was happening, Ladybug was kissing her on the lips.

Needless to say, Lila lost a lot of street cred that day, especially after claiming she was Rena Rouge and secret best friends with Queen Bee. Chloé really hadn't appreciated that one.

In her room, Marinette looked wide-eyed at Tikki. "I had the earrings on the whole time! Was it a Ladybug cosplayer? But she sounded just like me!"

Tikki looked up at her, eyes twinkling. "You remember the Fox Miraculous?"

Marinette gestured wildly. "Yes, but the illusions disappear when they're touched! And this 'Ladybug' didn't!"

"It's funny how powers work differently when we kwamis use them than when our Chosens do," Tikki mused. "Oh, by the way, Marinette, could you help me with something? I owe Trixx one dozen oatmeal raisin cookies."

Marinette's brow furrowed, then she burst out laughing.

So, Evolved Ignis, did that live up to your hopes? I hope you enjoyed it even if it wasn't quite what you pictured!

Violetsz asked for a list of what I ship in the fandom. Well, since the entire point of this oneshot series is to force me out of my comfort zone, I'd like requests as crazy and nonsensical as you'd like. For romantic, aged up/down is fine, so long as they're no more than 10 years apart in canon. i.e., Chris/Ella, sure. Gabriel/Nathaniel [which is what some very startled part of my brain thought the first time I saw "GabeNath"], not ok. will not be doing any incest ships or pedophila (which I'd think would be a given, but people can be crazy, and I don't know how many of those crazy people will read this). Also no polyamorous ships (maybe later; I read this really cute Adrigaminette one once). And, uh, as a general rule no same-character shipping- this one is the exception, and only because I remembered this fic where the reveal happened because Marinette thought Adrien was dating Chat Noir (and decided to reveal herself by, as Ladybug, saying she was dating Marinette). For platonic, anything goes. If you want kwami/holder bonding, sibling time, Gabriel appreciating Marinette's talent, all of that's great.

I'd also love it if you want to suggest plot points/quotes/prompts you want me to work in. Say, "anything about bananas", "something with Sass", "Alya loses the fox miraculous". All of those, whee! I can't wait to see what y'all come up with!

Whoo. OK. Hope that cleared any questions up. Thanks for reading!

Next update hopefully within a week, but HOMEWORK over Thanksgiving break, and I'm hoping to make it to 2k words next chapter, so maybe 2 weeks. Happy Thanksgiving!