AN: Hello, everyone, and thanks for reading!
There are two important things I want to mention before you get started:
1. This story picks up where the game left off, ignoring the events of the last episode of the anime and the sequel movie. Having first played the game and then watched the movie (without watching the anime in between), I originally enivisioned this story as a sort of bridge between the end of the game and the beginning of the movie. I wanted it to comply with the canon of both the game and the anime as much as possible. Then I watched the anime series, saw Episode 25, and realized that didn't really work.
To make a long story short, I decided to write my own sequel, continuing from the visual novel rather than the anime. The characters' personalities, dialogue, and mannerisms ended up as some amalgamation of their game and anime (dubbed) counterparts, though. I hope that's okay.
2. This story is going to be a multi-chapter fanfic, but updates will be irregular. For that reason, I'm envisioning each chapter as its own open-ended story, so that I won't accidentally leave anyone hanging if I go for months without posting anything. There will be progression from one chapter to the next, so it's not quite episodic, but don't expect any major overarching plot or conflict. I'm guessing it will end up being somewhere between 3 and 5 chapters total, but it could be longer if I come up with more ideas. We'll see!
Okay, I think that's all for now. Enjoy!
Kurisu knew that she had never been to this building before. She had no interest in cathode ray tubes or the grumpy-looking old shopkeeper who sold them. She couldn't recall having ever met the part-time worker before, either, although something about the girl's quiet demeanor and narrow red eyes made Kurisu feel strangely uneasy. She definitely would have remembered when she'd come here before and why.
She couldn't remember either of those things, but she couldn't shake the lingering feeling that she had been here before. In fact, she felt like she had been to this place many times and the walk here from her hotel had once been routine.
There was something familiar about the storefront, something familiar about the people, and even something familiar about the way the narrow staircase creaked as she walked up towards the door of the second floor apartment.
One of her hands crept to her pocket, where she kept the pin that Hououin Kyouma had given her. This was just like the feeling she'd gotten when she'd run into him the other day. It had only been the second time they'd met, but…
She'd spent almost a whole month searching all over Tokyo for him—delaying her return to America—until he'd suddenly appeared in front of her on a crowded sidewalk in Akihabara. If he'd looked even remotely normal, they probably would have walked right past each other, but he was impossible to mistake for anyone else: he was tall and lanky, with ragged black hair, and was still wearing that lab coat despite the heat.
"It's you!" she'd exclaimed, turning to face him.
He'd looked like he'd been on the brink of death the last time she'd seen him, but he seemed completely unhurt now, standing there as the crowd parted around him.
Kurisu was so glad to see him, so incredibly glad that she'd chosen to stay in Japan for these extra few weeks. Part of her had begun to doubt that she'd ever really met him at all that fateful day. But the logical part of her knew the truth—her own father had tried to kill her, and this strange young man had stopped him. Her rescuer had been hurt in the struggle, and Kurisu had been knocked out, and all she'd known when she'd woken up was that the pool of blood on the floor around her was not her own and that she was only still alive because of him. But the police couldn't find him afterwards, no matter how hard they searched. He'd just been gone… gone without a trace.
"I've been looking everywhere for you," she told him. "Ever since you saved my life." Her voice cracked, but she had to say everything that had been on her mind this past month, or she might never get another chance. The rest tumbled out in a rush. "I was afraid I'd never have a chance to say thank you. I'm so glad we could finally meet. Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank goodness you're alright."
He looked overwhelmed, but Kurisu didn't care. She was just glad that she'd gotten to thank him. She didn't even mind when he took out his phone and began talking with someone else instead of responding to her right away. She tried not to eavesdrop, and much of what he was saying didn't make sense to her anyway.
Reading Steiner? she wondered. Steins Gate? What is he going on about?
She shook off her curiosity. It really was none of her business, even if he was being a little rude by talking on his phone when she was trying to thank him.
He cleared his throat after that, a little awkwardly. "We meet again, Christina."
The words rose unbidden to her lips, as if she'd said them a hundred times. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not Christina, or your assistant, or—" She broke off as she realized that she had no idea what she was saying and that the man in front of her was wearing an expression of complete shock.
"Huh? I… why did I say that?" she asked, baffled. "Words just… popped into my head…" She searched her brain, trying to figure out why she'd reacted like that. Trying to figure out what the feeling that had come with the words was.
She realized then that she cared about this person very much.
Of course, after everything he'd done for her, it was natural to care about him. He'd nearly given his own life in exchange for hers, after all. But Kurisu was surprised by the intensity of the feeling. As kind as this man had been to her, he was still a stranger. She knew nothing about him, really. Not even his name.
He studied her almost warily for a long moment, and then broke into a lopsided smile. "Welcome back, my assistant, Makise Kurisu—no, Christina."
This time, she didn't bother to correct him. She was too busy wondering what those words meant, and if she was imagining the glimmer of sorrow in his hazel eyes. Welcome back? Why is he looking at me like he knows me so well?
Then he held out his hand to her. In his palm glimmered a pin, somehow foreign and familiar-looking at the same time. It took Kurisu a moment to realize that he wanted her to have it. She opened her own hand, and he closed her fingers over the small metal object with a gentleness that left her strangely speechless.
His hand lingered on hers a moment longer than necessary. There was a warmth in his eyes that she didn't understand as he told her, "This is the choice of Steins Gate."
Kurisu looked down at the pin he'd given her. It had a seemingly random group of letters printed on it, and then the year. OSHMKUFA 2010.
Kurisu's heart began to beat faster, like it understood something her mind didn't. She looked up again, wanting to ask the man what the inscription meant, only to see that he had turned away. His lab coat rippled in the humid summer air as he strode off along the sidewalk. Thankfully, his height made him easy to spot in the crowd.
"Wait!" She ran after him. "You didn't even tell me your name!"
He turned towards her again, looking briefly startled, as if he couldn't understand why she would even ask. He took a deep breath, and then suddenly crossed his arms in front of him in a bizarre, dramatic gesture. "I am Hououin Kyouma, the insane mad scientist. I will vanquish the Organization and bring chaos to the world! All of humanity shall one day tremble before me! MUAHAHAHA!"
For some reason, that seemed wrong. But she could hardly tell someone that they didn't know their own name. She tuned out the rest of the words, feeling vaguely annoyed. Normally she'd be confused, and maybe a bit alarmed, by someone who was spewing so much arrogant verbiage. But somehow she knew this was harmless.
"What is this pin?" she asked, her voice sounding far too desperate to her own ears. She caught herself, forcibly switching to a neutral tone. "What do the letters mean?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he replied, lightly. She couldn't tell if he was intentionally acting condescending or simply trying to avoid having to answer. "The deeper realms of my knowledge are not meant to be shared with a mere assistant like yourself. If you want to know, seek the truth yourself."
A mere assistant? For the first time, actual anger flared up inside her.
"Hey, I'm a published scientist," she snapped. "I don't know what you think you've done that makes you more qualified than me, but I can guarantee you aren't."
She regretted the words as soon as she'd spoken them, knowing they were beyond rude. She'd been treated worse in America and still managed to hold her tongue. So why had she decided that this bait, of all things, was worth rising to? He was a stranger, and he'd saved her life. It was awfully ungrateful of her to snap at him, even if he deserved it.
But to her surprise, Hououin didn't seem offended. Instead, he began laughing. It was a theatrical laugh, like that of an evil mastermind in some anime. "If you must know, I am a mad scientist and inventor, Christina."
"Oh, really?" For some reason, his amusement made her angrier. "What have you invented, then? It must not be anything important if I've never heard of you."
"Like I said, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Don't try to tell me what I would or wouldn't believe!"
They'd proceeded to bicker for the next twenty minutes, Hououin continuing to dodge all of Kurisu's questions. He seemed to grow more and more delighted the angrier he made her. Kurisu had eventually given up; if she tried to push the subject any further, she'd probably explode from pure frustration. She hated arguing with someone who had the upper hand. She hated arguing and losing.
Beneath her frustration and anger, she couldn't help but feel confused. She'd only met Hououin Kyoma once before, but he'd seemed drastically different then. Why was he acting like this now? Why wouldn't he just answer her questions?
He'd been weird then too, though, now that she thought about it. He'd been serious the first time she'd run into him, but when she'd tried to ask about his cryptic warning later, he'd refused to even acknowledge their first encounter.
She still couldn't tell if he was actually delusional or if he was mocking her for some reason. That was another thing that bothered her. He made her worry about him and then seemed to troll her when she tried to be sincere.
She'd seen that he was okay, and had thanked him for saving her life. That was all she had wanted to do. She should just let him win whatever weird argument they'd gotten into and hopefully she would finally start to get over the entire incident.
But at the end of all that, he'd given her an address, and so she'd eventually decided to come. She was too curious to simply let it go. She couldn't go back to America until she'd done everything she could to figure this out.
And so here she was.
Was coming here really a good idea? Kurisu couldn't help wondering.
She'd spent most of the day debating with herself over that question, and the sun had already started to set by the time she'd finally made up her mind. At least that would give her an excuse to not stay long if it ended up being too awkward or strange.
She could hear the sound of loud voices through the door. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded like they were yelling. Still, the interaction seemed more playful than angry. She didn't know who was in there, other than Hououin Kyouma, but the group of people inside were clearly close friends.
Kurisu didn't have any friends that close.
She hesitated. Then she knocked on the door.
The voices on the other side fell silent, and a moment later, the door opened to reveal a face that was becoming more and more familiar. His expression was startled for the briefest moment, as if he'd seen a ghost, and then he smirked. "Ah, so you've returned! I should have expected as much from my loyal assistant."
Kurisu frowned. "What is all this nonsense about me being your assistant?"
Hououin opened his mouth to answer—no doubt with more ridiculous rambling—but he was interrupted by one of his friends before he could say anything.
"Okarin, Okarin!" called a feminine voice from inside. "Who's at the door?"
Hououin turned, immediately distracted—and looking strangely relieved? "Allow me to introduce you to Makise Kurisu. She is my assistant, Lab Mem 004."
"Really?" The girl ducked under his arm to see. She had large blue eyes and short black hair. Her outfit matched her eye color precisely, and was covered in frills; her hat reminded Kurisu of an enormous flower. Gleaming against the blue fabric was a pin just like the one Hououin had given Kurisu. "That's great! Another girl lab mem!"
Before Kurisu could react, the other girl bounced towards her, arms outstretched. She caught Kurisu around the waist in a hug. "I'm Mayushii! Nice to meet you!"
"N-nice to meet you too," said Kurisu, startled by the sudden embrace. Mayushii's greeting, while overly friendly, was strangely endearing. And strangely familiar… Kurisu remembered a much tighter embrace, the younger girl clinging to her and crying as if her heart was breaking. She blinked, startled, and it was gone.
Hououin leaned against the door frame with an affectionate look on his face as he watched Mayushii. His expression put Kurisu strangely at ease. It was the first sign she'd seen that he did care about things, beneath his mad scientist persona. Well, the first sign she'd seen since they'd met at her father's time travel conference, anyway.
He'd seemed like an entirely different person that day. She still remembered what he'd said to her then, as he'd held back tears. I'll save you.
The memory of those words made her shiver. Had he known, somehow, about the danger that had been hanging over her head? She had to ask him about that, even if he tried to dance around her questions again. She dragged her mind back to the present.
Why had the other girl called him Okarin? "Is Hououin… not your real name?"
"Okarin's name is Okarin," said Mayushii, smiling.
"It isn't," said Hououin. "Okarin is Mayuri's ridiculous nickname for me."
Kurisu tilted her head to one side. "Then what is your real name?"
Hououin's eyebrow twitched the slightest bit, as if this conversation wasn't going the way he had wanted it to. "If you must know… I once went by the name Okabe Rintaro. However, I have since rejected it and am now the great Hououin—"
"Okabe it is, then," interrupted Kurisu, smirking. That name suited him better.
"Guh!" said Okabe. "How dare you, Christina?"
"If you won't use my real name, I won't use yours!" she responded stubbornly. Or any of the honorifics that usually went with it. Maybe that was a bit out of line, but she got the strange sense that just Okabe had been fine. Was fine. Had been?
Mayushii—or Mayuri, as Okabe had called her—tugged gently on Kurisu's sleeve. Her touch was as light as a butterfly's wing. "Hey, Chris-chan, come see the lab!"
Kurisu allowed the other girl to lead her inside. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to picture the interior. The image came instantly to her mind: two rooms with a curtain between them, both filled with piles of junk. There was a desk with a computer in one corner, and a table with a microwave on it by the far wall. She could picture every detail, including the drinks on the other table, which were Dr. Peppers.
She opened her eyes to see exactly what she'd envisioned.
This was… intriguing. A bit alarming, too. Why was she experiencing such strong déjà vu over every little detail? Why had she known exactly what the lab looked like? Kurisu felt like she had come here not just once, but many times. But that was impossible. She had been doing something entirely different this whole summer.
She glanced back at the doorway and saw Okabe still standing there, watching her. His gaze was strangely cautious; as soon as it met hers, he glanced away, lifting his cell phone to his ear and mumbling some of his typical nonsense into it.
"This is Daru!" Mayuri said brightly, oblivious. "He's our Super Hacka!"
She was indicating a boy who'd been sitting at the computer as they came in. He swiveled his chair to face them, but didn't get up.
"Super Hacker!" insisted Daru, as if he'd been correcting his friends for a very long time. "My name's Hashida Itaru. Nice to meet you, Makise-shi."
"Likewise," she said, distracted.
"Where'd you find her, Okarin?" asked Daru, turning to his friend. "And how did you persuade a genius to join the Future Gadget Laboratory?"
Okabe lifted his chin, smirking arrogantly. "She didn't join just now. She and the others have been members of this lab since before they were born. It was written in their destiny! Christina has answered the call, and that is why she has returned to us!"
"There's no -tina!" she snapped. "And I haven't returned, because I've never been here before!"
That wasn't a lie. It wasn't.
Okabe glanced at her sideways, looking much too pleased to have gotten a reaction out of her. "If you really believe that, then why are you here now?"
Kurisu growled. "I want to know the truth!"
"You already know the truth," he said lightly. "You just want proof."
"Then give it to me," she demanded. "Tell me, exactly, why I feel like I know you already. Tell me why I remember being in this room, even though I know I've never been here before. Tell me what this pin means, and why you gave it to me."
For a moment, everyone was silent as her words sank in. Okabe looked completely unaffected, but Daru's expression became puzzled and Mayuri's thoughtful.
"Mayushii thinks she had a dream about Chris-chan once," said the other girl.
They all waited, looking at Okabe. To Kurisu's surprise, Daru and Mayuri looked just as invested in whatever his answer would be as she was. Were they getting the same intense feeling of déjà vu as Kurisu? Did they remember her coming here too?
Okabe looked from person to person, clearly trying to decide what to say.
Maybe he was searching for the right words. Whatever the truth was, it had to be complicated. After all, it seemed impossible for one person to have two conflicting sets of memories. Kurisu's mind was already wandering in search of possible explanations, subconsciously running through theories and quickly rejecting one after another.
She should have known better than to expect an actual answer.
"If you do not know, then it is not my place to tell you," Okabe said, with a dramatic flourish. "That kind of knowledge could bring the Organization's wrath upon you. You will know when the time comes. And that is the choice of Steins Gate!"
I'm going to kill him, she thought. I'm going to cut out his parietal lobe and shove it down his throat. Her fingers flexed and then curled into fists.
"It's getting late," she said, in what she thought was a remarkably even tone. "I'm going back to my hotel." Why had she been expecting anything from him? All she'd ever get from this self-proclaimed mad scientist was nonsense.
"But you just got here," Mayuri said, looking up at her with innocent blue eyes.
Kurisu's anger faded. She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it, not knowing what to say. She was suddenly aware that everyone was looking at her. She couldn't just say 'I came here for answers, and there's no point in staying if you won't give them to me.'
"You'll come back tomorrow, won't you?" Mayuri went on hopefully, oblivious to her thoughts. "Okarin said we'd have a party when all the lab mems came back."
She hadn't been intending to, but… "Sure."
"Yay~!" the younger girl cheered. "It'll be so much fun!"
Kurisu looked up and saw that Okabe looked oddly relieved. "I'll walk you back to your hotel."
"That's unnecessary," she said, not ready to accept a polite gesture from him.
"I'm going to the store anyway," he said. "It's in the same direction."
Now she couldn't refuse without being outright rude. "…Fine."
They left the lab together, Kurisu leading the way. Okabe might insist on walking with her, but that didn't mean she had to acknowledge him. She walked quickly, leaving him a few steps behind. If he wanted to catch up to her, he'd have to run, and that would break his cool, the-world-revolves-around-me mad scientist act. He wouldn't do it.
He ran to catch up anyway. "Kurisu!"
She stopped, half in surprise and half because he'd used her real name.
"I need to ask you something," he said, looking uncharacteristically serious. He ran one hand through his perpetually messy black hair. Why did wearing that look on his face have to make him so… attractive? Kurisu's heart did a weird flip-flop.
"What?" she said, a little breathless. That was because she'd been power-walking, she told herself. There was no other reason.
"The thesis your father took from you," he began, and her heart constricted. Why was he bringing that up again now, of all times? If Kurisu was being honest with herself, she didn't want to think about it ever again. Her father's actions had hurt too much. They still hurt too much. But Okabe looked too concerned for her to insist he stop talking. "The one that burned in the airplane fire. Was that the only copy of it you had?"
"Of course not," she said. What kind of idiot did he take her for? "It was typed, not handwritten. I have a backup of it on my laptop."
He reached towards her, as if to grab her wrist, and then stopped himself. "What are you going to do with it? Are you going to publish it by yourself?"
"Probably nothing," she said, taking a step back. "I'm not really interested in time travel. I only wrote it for him. Now that he's proven he wants nothing to do with me, I don't see why I should do anything even remotely helpful for him. Publishing my thesis, proving that his time travel research is more than just fringe science… that would be too kind." She tried not to let the sting creep into her voice. Be logical. Scientific.
"Good," said Okabe, the tension in his body relaxing. "I know you don't have any reason to listen to me, but I want you to delete it. Wipe every trace of its existence. Don't tell anyone what you've figured out. Time travel should never become reality."
She studied him. "That's a strong opinion."
His hands tightened into fists. "It's too dangerous."
"You're… not wrong," she said. "But I'm surprised you would think of that."
"Even putting the danger of changing the past aside, people would fight to control that kind of technology," Okabe said. "Your own father tried to kill you for it."
She flinched. "You don't need to remind me!"
"Then will you delete it?"
It's none of your business! she wanted to snap. But it was. When he'd saved her life, he'd made it his business, whether she liked it or not. And if he hadn't intervened, she wouldn't be alive right now to worry about whether she liked it or not. "Fine. Yes, I will delete it. That's probably for the best, anyway."
Part of her rebelled at the idea of throwing away her hard-earned research, but she pushed it away. Logic told her that he was right. Time travel was too dangerous to become reality. Just because she could create a time machine didn't mean she should.
Even if… even if…
"Thank you," said Okabe. "I know you really do want to test your theory."
"What makes you say that?" she asked, startled that he'd known.
He gave her a wry smile that made her heart skip a beat. It was such a knowing look. He knew her. She didn't have any friends who knew her this well. "Because you are an experiment-loving girl, assistant mine. It's in your soul."
She took a step closer to him. "How do you know what's in my soul?"
He put his hands in the pockets of his lab coat and shrugged. "It's plain to see. It's like Mayuri told me once… you're shining. You always have been."
I'm shining? "When did Mayuri tell you that? I just met her today."
At that, Okabe's expression became a little sad. "I… In another life, I suppose."
He looked down. Something in his eyes was so sad, so lonely. Kurisu had a feeling she was seeing the real Okabe Rintaro, behind his infuriating mad scientist act. It was the same as when she'd first met him. He'd looked at her, heartbroken and desperate and hopeful all at the same time, and said I'll save you.
For the first time today, she didn't feel quite as defensive as she'd been. She didn't even feel the curiosity that had been constantly smoldering within her ever since they'd first met. All she felt was a strange sense of relief.
It was weird to be relieved to see someone look so serious, but Kurisu was just glad that the Okabe she'd seen that day was still in there. I didn't imagine it. There really is more to him than the mad scientist he claims to be.
She wanted to take his hand, but she'd just met him. It would be inappropriate.
So she just continued walking, turning her head to ask, "Well, are you coming?"
They walked down the sidewalk together in silence.
She was hyperaware of how close they were to each other. Their shoulders didn't quite touch, but Kurisu suspected it was less that there was significant physical distance between them and more that they were both simultaneously trying to make contact and trying to avoid it. Trying to see how close they could be without outright touching.
Why am I reacting to him like this? Kurisu thought, frustrated. I refuse to be some damsel in distress who immediately falls in love with the person who saved her life.
When they reached the corner, they slowed their pace and then stopped.
"It would have worked, you know," he said suddenly. "Your time travel theory."
She gave him a sideways look. "I know."
He laughed a little at that. Not a dramatic, evil laugh, but a more genuine-sounding one. Something inside of Kurisu fluttered at the sound. "Of course you do. You always know when you're right. That's one of the things I—" He abruptly cut himself off, piquing Kurisu's curiosity. She had no idea what he'd been about to say. Okabe cleared his throat, glancing away. "That's one of the things that makes you such a good scientist."
She studied him intently. "Thanks."
Giving compliments didn't seem like him. But, looking into his eyes, she could tell that this was as sincere as he ever was. He might act aloof and obnoxious, but he actually did care about her. Why couldn't he be more like this all the time?
Maybe he would open up like this more if she got to know him.
I don't have time to hang out with people like him, she thought, trying to ignore the part of her that insisted there weren't any other people like him. Now that I've gotten the chance to thank him, it's about time I went back to America.
She started to turn away, but Okabe suddenly started talking again. "Did you—did you mean it when you told Mayuri you'd come back for the party?" His expression was an oddly endearing mix of hope and nervousness.
She paused for a moment, and then answered, "For her, not for you."
He started to smile, crookedly, and then stopped. "That's good enough."
"That's it?" she asked, raising both of her eyebrows. "No dramatic proclamations about how you're the insane mad scientist Hououin Kyouma and everyone who comes to your lab is clearly there for you first and foremost?"
He shrugged, hands in his pockets. "I believe that goes without saying, Christina. You are my assistant, after all, and you always will be."
She snorted. "You're so full of yourself."
Tossing her hair, she crossed the street, leaving Okabe alone on the corner. To get to the store, he had to keep going straight, but instead of continuing on his way he just stood there watching her go. Kurisu glanced back once… twice… His expression was so pensive and sad that she actually felt kind of bad. She stopped walking and sighed.
She turned fully around to face him, and called, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Okabe blinked at her, looking surprised, and then smiled.
"I expect nothing less from my assistant!" he called back. He was back to sounding overly confident, but he looked as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and Kurisu was glad she'd spoken up.
She scoffed at his words on principle, but even as she turned her back on him, she felt considerably less annoyed than she had before.
I think I'm starting to understand him, just a little…
She waited a moment, and then turned back to look at him. He'd finally continued walking, his white lab coat rippling under the glow of the streetlights.
Kurisu watched Okabe until he disappeared from sight. She still didn't understand why everything about him felt so familiar, or why he mattered so much to her, but for once she felt like she was starting to trust her heart more than her head.
It was a strange feeling, but maybe a little strangeness was okay sometimes.