Lizard.

"You think they could have at least told me Mum." Molly moaned hoisting herself up onto a clearer space on top of the kitchen units. "I mean I was married to the man."

Belinda slapped her daughter's arm demanding her to stand up. Too proud of her new kitchen to let anyone spoil it. Never mind sit on the worktop!

"Yeah. You were Mols. But then you weren't." She argued back. "You left him."

Molly flashed a fiery glare at her mother. The truth hurt.

"Still don't mean I stopped caring." She spat back and her eyes filled up with the tears she vowed she'd never shed again for her ex-husband. The man who had systematically changed the direction of her life and her opinion of it.

"I know that love." Her mother moved in to hug her daughter.

Her daughter, Molly, who had shown them all. Who had succeeded where no one else had imagined she would. Her daughter who she hardly ever saw these days as she lived too far away. Her daughter who, once again was falling apart all because of that man and his actions.

"I still love him Mum. You know... despite... just cause he did what he did." Molly hiccupped. "Still doesn't mean I stopped loving him."

"Course you do Molly." She said. "Everyone knows that."

"Yeah well." The angry Molly was back. "He quickly bloody forgot." And then the sadness washed over her again. "And now it's too late." She wailed.

Belinda moved Molly into the child and Dave free sitting room of their flat. Big changes had happened to them all over the past six years or so. Most of the kids had moved out. Now just her and Dave, and Martin. Their time together happier and less tempestuous, especially as Dave was now working. Yet she'd always have time for her kids.

She held her daughter in her arms, rocking her as her loss hit her again and again.

Molly sobbed long and hard. Although they hadn't seen each other for months Belinda knew that this was a regular occurrence. That Molly was still consumed by the ending of her marriage, by his betrayal, by the termination of her happy ever after.

Her life once had been mapped out. A burgeoning military career, a decorated one at that. A well thought of Army Medic. Molly had loved it all, especially him and his place in her life. It all had seemed so perfect. She was married to her best mate, he was a true supporter in everything she did, and they, as parents, could do nothing but approve her choice of husband. The dashing and very loveable Captain James. Charles to them who knew and loved him, and as a family they did love him. Almost as much as Molly had done.

Then the unthinkable happened. Something no one ever suspected. He betrayed her, and Molly got out of the marriage as fast as she could. Feeling foolish, everything she fought for over the years, her self-respect... shattered by that one man.

Her crying continued and Belinda couldn't say anything that would take away her pain. They had been there too many times. Too much hurt. All she could do for now was to wait until Molly was ready to start again. Ready to face this new wave of pain and hurt full on. Ready to absorb and digest the news about her ex-husband that had broken her heart all over again.

The clock ticked, the muted sounds of traffic and neighbour's television set were Belinda's only company as Molly broke her heart in her mother's embrace. Eventually though the time came. Red, puffy eyed Molly was now calm, but still needed to be held by her Mum. The time for talking it all out had arrived.

"Who told you love?" Her Mum asked.

"Bels." She huffed out. "Called me just as I was about to get the plane."

"Rubbish timing that daughter of mine." She sighed out.

"Weren't her fault mum." Molly defended her sister. "She thought I'd want to know as soon as."

"Yeah?" Belinda went and poured them each a brandy. "So what did she say?"

"Not much." Molly swigged the harsh drink; not sure it would make her feel any better. "Just the basics. Said she tell me more when she got here."

Belinda looked at the clock.

"Won't be long, and hour or so." She hugged her daughter tightly. "Whatever Mols it's bloody good to see you."

Molly smiled. It was nice to be home.

She was sad on so many levels, yet feeling safer than she had felt for a long time. Sad her home coming, her long period of leave was already ruined by the giant elephant in the room of her past.

She waited to hear more. Waited for her sister. Quietly curled up on the couch with her Mum. Warm, tired. The 24 hours plus of travelling threatening to catch up on her.

Her thoughts were all over. Fixing mainly though, on her sad past. She reckoned she had found out about Charles' betrayal about an hour or so after it happened. Despite the fact they were in different countries, different time zones. The Army's gossip machine, and the need to gloat by some, causing the jungle drums to beat faster and louder than usual. What had started off as a normal day soon turned into one of her worst days ever, and soon was to be remembered as one of her last days in the Army. Shock, grief, the need to hide, all caused a long period of absence. Which eventually accumulated in a self-discharge. Her goodbye to the Army, her career and to the man she loved.

It only took her several weeks of lying on her parent's settee, wallowing in self-pity, to realise that it wasn't an option. Molly James, now soon to be Dawes, needed to move on. Plus she knew that this would be one of the first places he would call at on his return. In his search to find her, and she didn't want that. She need to disappear.

So this brave, tenacious lady did just that. She moved on, and she moved away. Landing, thankfully spectacularly on her feet. A long term contract working out in New Zealand at a holiday activity centre. They had snapped her up quickly. Her skills as an ex-Army medic, young, fit, no ties, all perfect attributes for the outbound activities and the services they offered to their paying guests. Skiing in the winter, she learnt that skill very quickly, and water sports in the summer. Finally forcing her to learn to swim.

Her life was good, but would have been so much better if she still had Charles in it. Although she loved it, in a heartbeat she would have taken her old life back. Taken back the old Charles who used to love her so much. Yet she realised that could never be, so she made the most of it, as she always did. She missed her family dreadfully though, the hardest part about this adventure. Only seeing them once a year in the flesh, when she had her between season long break. None of the family or the few friends she had back in the UK having the funds to visit. Yet she knew it wasn't forever, she knew she could return home if she had wanted to, and she knew it was the best she could have hoped for after her dreams had been ruined.

"So how did Bels find out?" Her mother asked.

"Heard off a friend and that I guess." Molly shrugged. "Would have thought at least one of them bastards would have told me though."

"I know Mols."

"I was their friend too before her... before she came along." She complained.

"So was Bels." Belinda sighed. "Another daughter hurt by an Army fella."

Molly grimly looked at her mother.

"Shit. Yeah. Sorry." Molly sneered. "Another Dawes to have her heart crushed by a Lane as well."

It wasn't what they had wanted not in a million years, but her and Charles knew it had been inevitable. It was pointless fighting the match. The amount of time they had spent together, the attraction for all to see was definitely there. Her baby sister, Bella, and Fingers, her mate, hit it off straight away. It quickly escalated. A full blown love affair. Her and Charles used to joke that even they weren't as smitten with each other as Bels and Fingers. It had continued for over a year and a half. Neither could get enough of each other. Both declaring they were totally loved up. Marriage was talked about; flat hunting was started. Two people so very serious about each other, and then Lane happened. Well not Lane exactly, but her sister Marie to be more precise. One weekend away for Bels and Fingers had fallen under her spell. Broke his promise to Bels and broke her heart. The last she had heard he was now married to Marie and the second kid was on its way.

Unlike Molly, Bels couldn't say "stuff life" in quite the same way that Molly had. After Fingers she was awful. She had become miserable and low. Went from loser to loser relationship wise, and job wise too, if Molly was honest. Remained unhappy, and liked nothing more than to see others unhappy too. Hence why she had delighted when she had heard the news about Charles and passed it on to Molly as soon as possible. Happy to spread misery.

Molly and Belinda sat sipping the brandy.

"Did she say when it happened?" Molly's Mum asked.

"Couple of months ago Mum." And Molly burst out crying... again. "I've really lost him, haven't I, and no one ever said."

She blew her nose.

"Bet no one even thought about me." She quietly whispered on.

The front door banged open and shut and Bella, the harbinger of doom flew in. Excited.

"So she's told you then." Bella looked from her Mum to Molly. "The bastard."

"Bels!" Belinda shouted.

"Well he is." Bella stood her ground. "They all are... were."

"Please tell us Bels." Molly asked. "You never really said."

Bella sat on a chair opposite her expectant audience. Delighted to be the number one in this scene.

"Well I heard from an ex mate, who used to go out with the sister's step son of Finger's brethren's mate, that Charles had... you know."

Neither Molly or Belinda spoke. They both just sighed, exasperated. Glaring at her to be clearer and to continue.

Bella happily continued.

"Apparently it happened the end of July."

"That's over two months ago." Molly sobbed out as more tears flowed. "Why does it still hurt Mum?" She pleaded.

Belinda gave a hard squeeze to her eldest's hand. Bella oblivious to Molly's pain went on.

"It was all quite sudden. Apparently. It happened in Bath. No one expected it. Anyway the ceremony, went off with full military honours, bets bib and tucker type of thing." She eventually paused. "As though the bastard deserved that."

"Bels. I won't tell you again." Belinda should. "Can't you see Molly's upset."

"Why?" Bella asked. Amazed.

"Cause I bloody love him. Loved him." She shouted as she jumped up. "Cause he was my husband and I loved him...and now... and now... shitting hell...and now he's dead."

She stared out the window. A view she'd known for years, a view from her old family home. Somewhere she'd always felt safe, she'd felt right in, and now everything in her life, in her world, was wrong.

Her love. Her husband of four years. The man she had given more to than she had given to anyone. Her Captain James was dead.

No one had told her. No one had thought enough of her, of what they had been, to let her know. She wasn't on anyone's radar any more. She was just the ex-wife. The one who'd left him, even though she had her reasons, the one that walked away and the one who never got to see him again.

He had tried in fairness. He had really tired. He had texted, called her numerous times, hounded her parents, but she never replied. She never let him explain. The time for talking had long passed. When she had wanted to talk he had shut her out, once she found out about his betrayal she chose then to do the very same to him. The divorce was quick and uncomplicated. His need to move on with his life, to find out whatever he had with Lane obviously the driving force, and one day she discovered he just stopped trying. Nearly a year ago and she'd heard nothing from him. A small part of her had hoped he would keep on trying…..forever. Keep on trying until she had healed enough to listen to him. To maybe even for them to try again, but she knew that was just a dream. He'd chosen his life with Georgie, his lack of sustained effort, proved that. However, no matter what, she had loved him, always had, and despite his sins, always would... but now it was too late. Her Charles was dead.

He'd died suddenly at home. The reports told to them by Bella said. She wondered at his return to Bath. If that was where he had lived with Georgie. She wondered too if he had died in Lane's arms. She even wondered if Lane had tried to save him, or was it that even her, with her reputed amazing super powers of healing, that even she couldn't save him this time. She wondered if he thought of her, if she had been the last thing that he saw. Just like once he said he hoped she would be.

"Apparently there's a big memorial thing happening next week." Bella had continued talking, but Molly had until now zoned out. "And not only that... get this he was a Major too. He went up in the world after you Mols."

Molly smiled sadly, not biting at her sister's ill meant remark.

"His dad will be proud. At one time that's all he ever wanted... to make his Dad proud." She said quietly. "God. I wonder how his poor parents are?"

"Well you'll get to see them won't ya?" Bels asked. "I'll come with you."

"What do you mean?" Belinda questioned her.

"Well now Mols is home on her long leave... she can go to the memorial thing... can't she?"

"No bloody way." Shouted Molly. "No way. If they couldn't even remember to tell me he was dead, than I'm fucked if I'm gonna give them the satisfaction of turning up at his memorial."

Her Mum moved over and pulled her in for a hug.

"Just think about it. Eh Mols?" With that she kissed into her hair and her daughter once again cried.

That's all Molly had done... think about it. She thought mainly about their time together. How much love they had shared. How they had been everything to each other... right until that day Elvis had died, and then it all changed. Charles had become an almost different person. Someone who shut her out, rather than let her in as he always had done. He became someone that forced her to be the 'bad' one in their marriage. Turned everything around as though it was her fault. Made her feel insecure and paranoid.

Yet she wasn't. She knew he was no longer coping, he needed help and she also knew he was no longer able to say his whole heart belonged to her anymore. Now where there always had been only Molly, there was now a defiant Georgie size piece firmly entrenched with every beat of his guilt ridden heart. She saw it grow day by day.

She had always intended to fight her, Lane, for him. Fight to have her Charles back. She tried to be exceptionally patient and understanding that this was not him. He was suffering and misguided and she needed to help him. Yet he started to wear her down, he started to make her feel that no matter what, no matter how he recovered, either physically or mentally, she still wouldn't be who he wanted.

She still had some fight in her though. Some fight for her marriage, right up until the very moment she heard he'd slept with Lane. That very moment that he had chosen not to fight for them anymore, she too stopped fighting. That he had instead chosen a wrong and very much easier way out of his mental tournament and troubles. Then she left, physically checked out, but on hearing of his demise knew, as she always had known, emotionally she had never left him. He still had her heart.

She walked bravely in with her Mum beside her. Bella, asked nicely by them both, not to come. Bella's attendance would not have been for Charles. It would not have been to honour his memory, but instead it would have been to gloat and to cause as much upset as possible. That's not what Molly had wanted. Not today. The fight in her had gone. She was here to say simply goodbye to Charles.

As soon as they entered the hall Molly knew her decision was right. The first person they met was Fingers. His greeting was sheepish, as it should be, as he has wronged both Dawes ladies. Bella when he cheated on her and Molly when he chose Lane's side over hers. She understood why, but still it hurt. She, back then had chosen sides too. She had chosen her side, and as well as cutting herself off from Charles she had cut herself off from all of two section and anyone connected with them.

Molly saw a lot of faces she recognised and a lot more she didn't. She spoke to no one more. Surprised by the average age of the attendees. Older than she had imagined, more senior. She guessed a testament to how well respected he was. She looked around as they seated themselves quietly at the back of the hall, declining an order of service offered to her by a young man. Their seating was the furthest away they could be from where she expected his family to sit. From where Lane the grieving widow/ partner would be. Away from the woman who took her Charles away, the woman who now would have a hall full of sympathetic eyes upon her.

Despite her sadness Molly resented this. Knowing that no one would look at her with such feelings. No one would gently touch her hand to tell her what a wonderful person he was, how much he'd be missed, how sorry they were. No one would look at her and see the pain she was going through in losing her true love.

She tried to be brave. Tried to stop the tears but they fell anyway. Thickly and silently, ruining the small amount of make up she'd chosen to wear that day.

She had taken care in her appearance. Wanting him, wherever he was, on some level to be impressed as to how she had turned herself out for him. Her body toned and tanned from all the outside activities she been involved with. Her dress sense, smart and sophisticated as it had developed under his tutorage. He would have approved, and the Charles she remembered of old would have struggled not to grab her, like he used to do in the early days, and kiss her hard and possessively.

Now she didn't need to dress for any man. No one would enter her heart again in such away. Charles had made her and moulded her in to the perfect fit for him, and only him, and she had willingly complied.

She still was independent. Still her own person, still able to make her own choices. Still fierce. It just so happened that everything she had ever wanted, ever wanted to become, had involved him, and them. They had shared the same dreams and goals.

Looking back over their years together she could see that she had changed him too. His mother, who she had been very close to, used to marvel how much happier he was with Molly than ever before. How he now considered things, places, people, rather than just accepting them. How he become more in touch emotionally, which opened up so many more layers to his wonderful personality. But, Molly sadly thought, it also was his downfall, their downfall. His ability to think, be more empathetic, led him to be eaten up with guilt and a mis-placed sense of loyalty to Georgie. Ironically it was her changing him that pushed him away from Molly and into Georgie's arms.

Her musing had distracted her and suddenly the service began. The hall had filled up, and being small and tucked away in the corner by the wall, she had failed to see everyone enter. Yet she knew that they must have as you don't start an 'ego service' without the 'ego's' family being there.

Everyone stood. Molly blindly did the same. A hymn was sung. Loudly and with power. It had been one of Charles' fathers' favourites, and as a family it was always being sung around their home, and so despite having no order of service in front of her she knew enough of the words to join in. She smiled, pleased as Charles had always stated that was a hymn he had wanted sung at his funeral, and she hoped it had been, as well as being sung today. He said it reminded him of home, of England and of everything he been fighting for. Of his duty and of his family.

Just at the right time the singing stopped and the crowd sat. Molly too slow was out stripped by the rest of the congregation and moments later took to her seat.

It was only moments but long enough for her to see the front row. To see the chief mourners. The main players. She didn't catch sight of Georgie, but she saw his mother's back, and recognised her instantly. Stoically holding herself together. More than Molly was. Her heart bleed for the mother who was mourning the loss of her son, so very young in comparison. She failed though to see Charles' dad. Knowing he'd been plagued with ill health for years, suspecting he was too unwell to attend, or too proud to attend. She knew the military gene Charles had inherited had come from his father, and grandfather, and guessed Charles' dad would be too frightened to show a flaw in that stiff upper British lip he'd cultivated during his military history.

As she sat something hit her. The strong broad shoulders of the man who had held on to Charles' mother hand. The dark blue civilian suit hugging a toned body that too was taut with grief and reserve. The man's head bent, downcast. So familiar, it stirred memories.

She pushed those memories aside. Yes today was all about remembering but not imagining. Yet she did. What would she say if she had seen him one more time? What would she have done if she has listened to his apology and he had begged for her forgiveness? Would she have taken it?

It was all academic now. He was gone, but oh how she wished if she did have the chance, one more chance to talk to him she would. She'd listen, she'd learn. She might even have forgiven him. Yet one thing she was certain she would do... she'd fall into his arms and tell him it didn't matter anymore. That a life without him was nothing. That a life with him, a second chance would be everything.

The service went by fast. She heard little. Heard snippets of his life, his career and struggled to associate what she heard with the man she had been married too. Brief snatches of stories that didn't seem to relate to her Charles. She threw off her concerns, after all he had lived a life without her. With someone else. She had no right to know everything about him now.

Her mother nudged her harshly to bring her out of her day dreams.

"Mols. Look at this." She hissed as she past the literature she was holding in her hands to Molly. "Bleeding Bella and her tales." Was all she cryptically said.

Two things happened at once.

The service paused as the next speaker walked to the front of the hall. The front bench shifted as a family member went to deliver the eulogy.

The second thing was that Molly looked at the information she held in her hand. Not computing the words. Misunderstanding what her mother was frantically hissing in her ear.

Then it all made sense.

As if in a dream she looked up almost at the same instance he reached the lectern. There was no way he could see her. She was too tiny, but even so she slid down a bit more as the realisation dawned on her.

She listened to his strong voice. Glaring at her mother to quieten her. Belinda almost amazed as she was, held her tongue.

The strong figure in the blue suit started. Loud, clear speech.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming. On behalf of my mother, the family... coming today to honour a great man."

Molly swallowed hard as she listened on. The tears still fell, but she knew not exactly why any more.

"A great man. Major Charles Benjamin Harold James. Retired. Some of you knew him, like we all did as Benny or even Grandpops. Some of you knew him as Sir... Me? I knew him as Dad, and couldn't have been prouder to do so."

Molly listened as she heard Charles' voice break with emotion. As he stood up in front of the crowd talking about the man he loved and admired... his father. The man they were here to honour. Major Charles Benjamin Harold James, the man her husband had been named after.

Her world spun.

No matter what everything in the world suddenly made sense. Charles, her Charles was alive. Sad and mourning the death of his father, but alive.

Unashamedly she smiled, beamed even, and let out a small but inappropriate giggle. It was enough though to catch someone's attention. Someone who knew and loved that sound, and thought they would never hear it again.

Just at that moment Charles raised his head. And for the first time in over two years, his eyes locked onto the sight of his Molly, his beautiful Molly. The woman he still loved and regretted letting go every day since... smiling right back at him.

For that moment in time, as Elvis has once said... all was well with the world.