Lizard

Chapter 5

The angry banging on the door told her exactly who it was. She was surprised that he'd gotten there so quickly, yet she knew he would come. Knowing that it was inevitable, that he would eventually turn up at her door, but in honesty she had expected at least a little bit longer to prepare.

As soon as she opened the door he started. He almost pushed her out of the way with force as he entered her home. He was determined.

"What the hell were you thinking." He shouted at her. "Sam. Going off like that."

She said not a world but let him into her home. Every ounce of her concentrating on staying calm. Motioning with her head for him to follow her into the kitchen. Still she hadn't spoken.

"I mean." He continued without drawing breath. "It was just reckless and stupid. You shouldn't have let him go."

She spun around. Eyes flashing with anger. Desperately trying not to start shouting back at him. She knew when he was shouty this wasn't the way to reach him. It had been an emotional 48 hours for them all, and the last thing they needed was the start of a screaming match. Those days of their relationship had well and truly passed.

"Charles." She began slowly and deliberately. "He's safe; you know that? Right? It was just an accident."

"One that bloody well could have been prevented." He shouted again. "You had no right to keep it all a secret from me."

Rebecca watched as he sunk down onto the kitchen stool. He looked exhausted, just like she was. Their lives had been hell over the past couple of days, but now all was well. Sam has been found and though hundreds of miles away, he was safe.

Molly called Rebecca as soon as there was news, as soon as Sam and the rest of the party had been found. He was safe. They all were. He'd suffered six hours stranded out on a cold unforgiving piste. Had suffered a complicated fracture to his right leg, and dehydration, but their boy was safe. Now in hospital, safe, grateful and recovering. The news was the best it could possibly be. The group had stayed together. Had all helped each other out with the numerous injuries, and were now all recovering in the local hospital in New Zealand, and out of it all that was one of the hardest things to take. Knowing he was safe, but not being able to get to see him. To hold him. To tell him his Mum and Dad loved him. Rebecca knew that Molly would be caring for Sam, but she'd never take her place, and she found it hard that she wasn't there with him. The relief, and like her, having to endure the separation, she understood was the main reason for Charles' outburst. Charles was finding it all hard too.

Charles continued, but with less volume as he caught sight of the twins girls playing out in the garden, and felt ashamed.

"You should have told me." He said. "About Molly I mean. It was a shock."

Rebecca knew this was coming. That he still felt slightly betrayed by them all. She understood.

"She didn't want you to know." She truthfully and quietly answered him back.

His head shot up at this. Shocked and saddened.

"Besides if you did know, what would you have done? Would you have stopped him from going? Called her? Gone yourself?"

"No...I don't know." He answered, yet he did. If he'd known where she was, something he'd been trying to find out for nearly three years, he would have pursued her. "How long?" He asked, rather than confess.

"Just after Benny's memorial. We met at your Mum's" Rebecca said honestly. "A week or so afterwards."

"Mum has seen her too? Shit... that's nearly a year!" Charles was shocked again as he calculated the time. "For fucks sake Becky? A year and no one said?" He was hurt all over again.

His raised voice caused Rob to enter the kitchen and protectively put his arm around Rebecca.

"Voice. Language." Rob said sternly, though calmly. "Appreciate it being kept civil Charles."

Instantly Charles flushed. Realised that he had stepped over a boundary or two in another man's house, with another man's wife.

Rebecca dipped her head trying to hide the smile on hearing her ex-husband being chastised by her current one. It felt quite Neanderthal in away, two men asserting their roles in her life.

Rob continued, using Charles' silence to start things off again in a more positive note.

"The important thing here is Sam. Making sure he's alright. "

"Yes." Rebecca agreed. Then hesitated. "We thought it best to go out to see him as soon as possible."

"Of course." He nodded at this. "I'll come with you I'll arrange some time off and that." Running his hand through his hair as he started to work out the complications of it all.

Rebecca moved closer to him.

"Charles." She gently rested her hand on his arm. "I can't go. The twins need me here. They are too young to be left." She then looked across to Rob. "We thought with your new job, the cost of it all... and the Molly situation it would be best if Rob just goes." She drew back from him.

Charles' eyes flew up in surprise at her words. Shocked.

"What? But he's my son."

"We know that." Rob said. "But you aren't much help to him in the state you're in. Best I go." He then added apologetically. "I've a flight booked for the morning."

"Just like that?" He gasped out. "Just like that? Without even asking me. Talking to me?"

Rebecca's heart hurt when she looked at how deflated he was. Yet she knew it was for the best. He was too emotional about the Molly part of the situation, and they were concerned at how focused he'd be on Sam because of it. They never doubted his love for Sam or his dedication, but they too knew how desperately he wanted a chance to see Molly one more time. A chance to explain.

"It's for the best." She explained. "Let Rob go; and we'll see our little scamp when he comes home." Again she touched him, connected to him over their son.

It amazed him how right they were. He understood their concerns and the practicalities of it all, but still he was finding it hard to let go. He was used to being the one his son depended upon at times like these, used to being the 'go to man' in Sam's life. Yet he saw the reasons why this time that couldn't be his role. He therefore smiled grimly at the united front that stood there and nodded his head in agreement.

He didn't want to be angry. Not with her, not with any of them, but he was. Sam was safe and that was what mattered. Yet he was angry. His Molly had somehow become their Molly. They had her in their lives, but still she wasn't in his. He'd thrown his chance away, and knew he deserved her silence, yet he still felt betrayed by them. And so he took his anger out, not on himself, because it was his actions that had lost her, but on Molly. Charles reverted back to type. Reverted back to the stern, shouty man he was once known to be in his early days with Molly. The man who shouted first, fired off his emotions, before even considering those of others.

He'd sent her text message after text message as soon as he demanded her number from Rebecca. He'd tried to call, but she never answered, and so the voice messages he left were just as angry as the text messages. He couldn't help himself, or stop himself.

For three years he had wanted, needed to know where she was. For three years she had been missing from his life. He'd given up hope, knew he deserved no second chance, and had resigned himself to a life without Molly. Yet when he saw her at his father's memorial, when he'd seen her for the briefest of moments he knew everything he felt for her, everything he knew of her was still there, and he still wanted her.

That was why he was so angry. That was why he was so upset. She'd taken everyone else back into her life. She accepted their apologies, and love for her, everyone apart from him. True, he was the biggest sinner out of them all, but still the one who loved her the most.

She watched as he slept. He looked so young and another wave of guilt and sadness washed over her. That had happened a lot over the past few days. They had nearly lost him and it was all her fault.

She had let him go on the skiing trip. She'd thought it was safe, but she'd been wrong and he'd got hurt. She silently cursed herself that it was yet another decision she'd messed up in her life, another decision that could of cost them all to lose something so precious. She deserved everything she got in way of abuse from Charles.

Charles has been very vocal about his opinion on events. Not that she had actually spoken to him, though he had called her numerous times she always allowed his calls to go to voice mail. Too much of a coward, not wanting to talk, to argue with him, after all this time. And so she now had an in box filled with his rants at her stupidity and irresponsiveness. She'd bravely listened to them, and they had hurt her to hear his words. She didn't need Charles shouting at her to be reminded just how close they all were to losing Sam.

Making that call to Rebecca. Breaking the news that Sam was missing was singularly the worst experience she'd ever had. Charles' betrayal, Elvis' death, nothing came close to telling a mother that her son was missing. In those dreadful long dark hours, while the mountain rescue team were out searching, she kept in touch with Rebecca almost constantly and any little bits of news, good or bad, she imparted.

Rebecca listened, questioned, wondered, and cried, but never once blamed Molly. Never once asked why she'd been so stupid to let him go. Why she'd let such a precious cargo go and do something so risky. Instead she shared her worries, grief and pain... and hope. Knowing whatever she was feeing Molly was feeling it too.

The joy when the call came in with the news they had all hoped for, was beyond words. When the important call came Molly took it alone in her small cabin, the one she'd been almost confined to by friends and authorities, aware of her desperate need to go out with the search team. Advised by all that she'd be more use at home, waiting, and when the call finally came in she was glad she was. It meant that within minutes of her knowing Rebecca knew too. She was able to offer relief and comfort finally with the good news. She left it up to Rebecca to tell everyone else, and from that moment the shouty voice messages from Charles stopped.

The news was good, and that was all that mattered. Sam had been found after six hours or so out there with the rest of the group. Most of them had injuries, and getting help had been delayed. It was mainly a collection of broken bones, cuts and bruises, but all were alive... cold but alive. They group were instantly transferred to the hospital and Molly made her way there as fast as she could. And here she sat by his bedside waiting to see if he woke up from the trauma and pain killer induced sleep he'd deeply fallen into.

She watched him. His soft brown curls, which he used to hate, fanned out on the pillow. Those curls were chopped off regularly when he was younger, she'd known him to complain that they made him look like a baby. However he soon learnt as he got older, his soft expressive brown eyes and the tender curls on his head were magnets for the ladies, and he was never without admiring glances. It startled her as she watched him, just how like Charles he was, and how she missed seeing his face still after all these years!

He'd been lucky she knew that. They all had been lucky. He had a complicated fracture to his leg, but no surgery was necessary. A heavy cast protecting the injured bones. She looked closer and saw he had a few cuts to his face, and frost nip to his fingers and cheeks, which over the next few days, she knew, would hurt, but no permanent damage would occur. He was, she was ever so thankful, going to be ok.

"Molly?" He asked drowsily as he took her in and saw the tears on her face. "Hello."

She beamed a watery grin at him.

"Hello. You nutter." She smiled gratefully back at him. Standing over him so he could see without too much effort. Stroking his curls.

"I'm sorry." He said as his eyes filled with tears too.

"You've no need to say sorry." She brushed her fingers in his hair like she had done many times before, in another life when he was her little Sammy.

They smiled at each other both realising how lucky they had been.

"What is it about you James' men and your bloody legs?" She joked pointing to his cast on his leg. "It had to be your right one as well!"

"I know. Think it's a family tradition." Sam laughed back. Then added shyly. "I spoke to Mum when I got here... and Dad... for a minute. Going to need to call them again."

"That's good." She said. "I'll get you a phone in a minute, and you can all them again. Bet they were bloody please to hear your voice." She added as she sat down in an attempt to relax.

"Yeah." He nodded pulling himself up into a better position. "Even Dad sounded happy!"

She only nodded. He didn't need to know just how hard this had been for them all. Molly again felt the guilt. Silence hung and Sam chose to break it.

"It wasn't your fault you know?" He said quietly.

She raised her eyes at him. Not believing him.

"I shouldn't have let you go."

"Don't be stupid Molly. It could have happened to anyone at any time. I don't blame you." He ended softly.

She stood up and started to unpack some clothes she'd gathered for him. She couldn't look at him.

"Yeah...well. Thank you." Then added. "Pity your Dad don't think like that."

Sam laughed.

"Take it he's called you then?" He asked. "Was he all shouty? He was pretty mad at me to start with. What he say to you?" He rattled off the questions.

Molly giggled.

"Been too much of a coward to speak to him." She scrunched her nose in a confession. "Let him go to voice mail! Every time!"

"Ouch." Sam laughed then remembered his pain and winced. "Ouch." He said again but with more meaning. "He won't like that!"

She leaned over and kissed him, nodding.

"I'm gonna go. Let you rest. I'll be in tomorrow though, but later, I've a few things to sort out about Rob's accommodation and that. Plus, I want to say thank you to the rescue teams." She blushed at her last words.

Sam chuckled as he saw her flush.

"Say thanks from me too. Especially to George!" Then after a pause he added. "He's quite fond of you Molly I think? He spent a lot of time talking about you in the helicopter on the way back."

She blushed even deeper.

"He's a friend that's all. Treated him once or twice when he's been injured." She defended herself.

She then turned to walk away hearing Sam shout down the ward.

"Yeah whatever Molly! Whatever!"

She fell into the sofa exhausted, the past few days had drained her. Knowing Sam now was safe and out of danger meant her mind and body could start to relax and turn off. Yet still there were doubts, images, nightmares, about what could have been. What could have happened.

She had no time to dwell though on her dark thoughts, she heard a soft knock at her door. He was stood there. Unsure of his welcome. Wrapped up against the cold, but still she could she his face. He then gained courage and grinned at her and held a bottle of wine up as way of explanation.

She smiled at him as she invited him in. The way her stomach did a funny flip she knew she was on dangerous ground.

"Thought we'd celebrate." George said and he slipped out of his ski coat. "That and you can keep telling me just how amazing I was in the rescue effort."

She laughed and watch at how he was smiling at her. She had so much to be grateful to this man for. To him and his team.

As she reached for the glasses it hit her that she actually felt happy. Happy Sam was safe, happy George was here. Happy that it all worked out well, and then the events, the emotions of the days hit her and as she turned and looked at him she sobbed... and sobbed.

George rushed over to her and held her. Said calming words to her and never letting her go. He supported her when she thought she couldn't hold herself up. He counselled her when she blamed everything that had happened on her own shoulders, and he listened to her as she poured forth all the guilt and worry she'd ever had. He was there and she needed him. A good friend that saw her vulnerable, and stayed to make her strong. She sat in his solid, comforting arms all night, and enjoyed it.

She woke the next morning. Still fully dressed with sore gritty eyes, and a smile on her face. Somehow during the night she had laid down next to him and had stayed there. Hours later she'd woken up in his arms. Breathed in his warm, active smell, and enjoyed it. It had been a long time since she'd been this close to anyone. A long time since anyone had held her, and it felt nice. She tried not to move. Tried to take a moment to sort out her confused mind. She hadn't sort out his friendship but she had it, and after last night she felt as though they had stepped over the friendship line, and beyond.

George had been around the complex almost as long as she had been. He was a pilot in the search and rescue service the mountain resorts used. With lots of ranges, lots of tourists they were frequently used, especially by the guests staying at Molly's resort. She had initially come into contact with him on a job. A set of guests had gone off the trail, one had twisted a limb and he was drafted in to help. She was taken along as the medic support necessary on these trips.

They hit it off straight away. His passion for his home country, his knowledge of the beauty and his wicked sense of humour, all mixed in with a great big dollop of tall rugged good looks, and blonde hair, had Molly instantly pleased. She wasn't seeking romance. She was till to bruised for that, but she found she was seeking a friend and that's what they became. That's all she had allowed them to become, until last night when he held her, and secreted the odd kiss or two into her hair, as he did. That's when she knew that friendship line had been crossed.

"Morning Mols." He said before she'd had time to work it all out. His New Zealand twang made the way he said her name exciting. "How you doing this morning?"

He sat up and stretch while waiting for her answer. Perfectly at ease with her, with them, and with his top riding up to show off his tanned and toned stomach.

"Mmmmm. Bit embarrassed about last night." She said, try not to look at his toned abbs. "But good I guess."

He grinned at her. Then stood up and reached for his coat. Obviously getting ready to leave.

"Don't be. Always a good shoulder to cry on I am." Then he dipped his head down and kissed her cheek. "Got to get going though. Early shift. Talk later yeah?"

And with that he was gone. She felt a bit of a loss, yet appreciated there had been no need to sit and analyse last night or what it meant to either of them. He was too easy going for anything heavy. He'd told her he'd been hurt before, and wasn't too keen on falling in love ever again. When he first told her this it made her feel safe, comfortable. The little flirtation they had had acceptable, but now she was unsure. That good bye kiss said far more than they had ever said.

Right up until the moment she saw him she had doubts. She knew the plans. Knew it was Rob meant to be flying out to see Sam, but she still had doubts. Doubts that Charles would turn up instead, and when, if he did how would she cope. Her doubts were increased especially after the last frantic phone call from Rebecca, full of apologies, explaining that Charles was finding it difficult to accept Rob going out instead of him. That he was wanting to travel out instead. Saw it as his duty, and may upset all their plans.

She had been spending nearly all her free time with Sam, his main source of company. True, a few of his new friends drifted in to visit, but it was Molly who was 'it' until someone from home arrived. When the day finally came for his flight to land Molly was nervous, and too busy with work to meet him at the airport. He hadn't expected it anyway, and so it was almost a whole day later that she had the courage to turn up again at Sam's bedside.

She entered the ward with confidence, but each step she took saw that brazenness she'd mastered over the years disappear. As she entered the ward she saw Sam. Happy, laughing, taking and sitting out of his bed. His UK visitor right by his side animated and engaging, just as she remembered.

She hadn't seen him for years and she hesitated, but then he turned and saw her. She felt so unsure of her welcome from him. He soon put an end to her doubts.

"Ah Molly. Hello." He stood and offered his hand out to her in friendship. "So good to see you again."

"Hello." She meekly smiled and peaked around to see Sam smiling at her.

She felt she needed to say more, to apologise, and she felt awkward. However they both knew they were here for Sam, and so were polite, kind, and friendly towards each other.

She was amazed by the level of forgiveness he offered her and accepted from her, as she apologised for not looking after Sam as she should have, as Charles had accused her of. He was kind though, no anger was evident, and he assured her Rebecca had no anger or blame either. He suggested that it was the shock that allowed tempers to rise, but that had passed. All was now well and Molly was grateful.

The following two weeks of his stay passed by quickly. They saw each other every day and learned to enjoyed each other's company. They laughed, joked and saw how each day made Sam stronger and soon he was fit enough to fly home.

"I going to miss you Molly." Sam said as she kissed him good bye at the airport. "Keep in touch. Please."

"Of course I will." Her eyes filled with tears. "Call and let me know when you're home."

"Come and see me?" He asked. "When you're home?"

She nodded as she looked over his shoulder to check that was acceptable.

"Can't keep me away Scamp." She joked. "Need to see if you get off those bleeding crutches."

She had several more months left in New Zealand before her long holiday was due, and already she knew that she'd spend some of it visiting Sam, as their time together had been fun. All of them had enjoyed being in each other's company again. Remembering what it had once felt like.

During those weeks she had even introduced George to them both. Initially as someone who was involved in Sam's rescue, and then as a friend. He was graciously accepted by both of them, and although nothing was said they perhaps understood that he was becoming more to Molly than just a good friend. Still neither commented on it, both knew they had no right to interfere in her life, and she respected them for that.

Time passed quickly and with one more final hug and an awkward kiss to them both, they were gone.

She watched to the very end as Sam and Rob disappeared through the departure gates Molly turned away, and walked back to her car. Feeling the loss of them already. Saying good bye to Sam and Rob, his step dad, people she had enjoyed being with immensely. Happy that it had been him that had come across and not Charles. Happy that Sam had such a positive guy in his life, and Rebecca had such a pleasant husband.

Her head snapped up though when she heard his voice and a smile spread across her face.

"Rob and Sam get off ok?" George asked and she nodded her reply.

"Good. I err... thought you might need a hug." George said bashfully and offered his arms out to her.

Molly had no hesitation, she walked into them instantly. Suddenly it seemed just the right thing for her to do. The right thing because for the first time in a long time she was slowly starting to let another good guy into her world.