Hey, so I've been writing a lot of Lavender Brown stories, I don't know why…But if you like this one, maybe check out Magical Girl Animetopoeia. It's about Lavender Brown traveling to different worlds and becoming a magical girl in the hopes of changing her bad fate.

Alright, enough about my other stories.

Declaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Fate Abridged, or any of the Fate series

…..

"Actually Satan?" Lavender knocked on the door.

No reply.

He couldn't have left right? His classroom was at the end of the hall and Parvati had just been in the classroom for her detention so…

"Actually Satan?" She knocked again, "Actually Satan?"
She opened up the door.

Snape looked up from his desk appearing quite annoyed.

"Oh, you must not have heard me over the sound of your quill or something." Lavender feigned obliviousness.

"What do you want, Brown?" Snape decided it was best to just get this all over with so he could get the annoying child out of his hair.

Lavender drew in a deep breath,

"I am here to make a deal with the devil."
Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Please teach me dueling!"

"No."
"Poo." Lavender pouted, "I can give you something in exchange."

"I doubt that."

Lavender thought about what she could give him in exchange.

Oh wait!

"Information!" Lavender beamed at him, "Tell Professor Dumbledore that there are seven horcruxes."

"Seven what?" Snape crinkled his nose in distaste.

"Well, he's wanted to know the answer for a while." Lavender said, "I'm quite sure the answer was seven. Tell him that and if you don't want to make a deal with me after then I'll never bother you again. I'll even stop calling you Lucifer and stop blowing your cover here at Hogwarts."

Snape raised an eyebrow,

"Done." He decided.

"Oh, and you have to say seven horcruxes specifically. Make sure Quirrell isn't nearby when you tell him that."
Lavender beamed, then left the room, deciding it was about time to issue Harry another challenge.

…

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…

"Hey, Parvati." Harry greeted the girl who was reading a magazine in the common room by the fireplace.
"Hey Harry." The girl glanced up at him.
"Er…you seen Lavender?"

"She went to see Professor Snape about something."
"I, uh, see." Harry shifted awkwardly.

He didn't really know how to talk to Parvati, Lavender's friend.

"Lavender is…a bit strange. Is she like that with you too?"

"By strange you mean, proclaiming us best friends forever during our first meeting strange? Or writing contracts in blood strange?"
"Er…has she written contracts in blood?"

Somehow, he could sort of imagine it.

"She said it was for the Dark Lord Lucifer…or something." Parvati turned one of the pages of her magazine, "Do you have a thing for her, Harry?"

"A thing?" Harry blinked, not quite knowing what that meant at first, then blushed when the realization hit, "Er, no! No…We're just…rivals…I guess."

"I just had a detention with Professor Snape. I'm fine of course, not that you asked."
"Er, sorry." Harry said automatically.

The door to the common room opened up and Lavender came in looking quite smug.

"Harry Potter, I challenge you!" She pointed at Harry.

"Hi Lavender, it's nice to see you too." Parvati said in a monotone voice.

"Uh…to what?" Harry wanted to know.

Lavender smirked,

"We are going to have a duel! In three months. You'd better find a teacher willing to teach you dueling. Or I'll wipe the floor with you! I've recruited actually Satan to my cause. Do you have the devil on your side? I don't think so!"

"That seems unlikely." Parvati commented absently.

"Professor Snape agreed to teach you dueling?" Harry wondered.

Lavender stuck her nose in the air proudly,

"And I didn't even have to sell my mortal soul."

"That seems unlikely." Parvati commented again (but she was completely ignored).

…

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….

"Hey… 'Mione?" Harry asked the next day as they were walking down towards history class.

"Yes, Harry?" Hermione asked.

She was walking along to Harry's right-hand side. Ron was on their left-hand side.

"I was wondering…you don't get along with Lavender and Parvati, right?"

"Not really." Hermione scrunched up her nose.

"Er…why not?" Harry asked her curiously, "I know Lavender can be a little loud and silly."
"She's just too girly for me, Harry." Hermione said with a shrug.

"Girly?" Harry wondered.

Was Lavender girly? He'd never really thought of her in that way.

"Her and Parvati are always giggling over magazines and boys." Hermione rolled her eyes.

Harry thought on the conversations he'd had with Lavender and then he thought to Parvati.

"I've seen Parvati looking through a magazine once…"
"She's all fashion obsessed." Hermione added in.

"But…she seemed really mature." Harry recalled, "And I can't really imagine Parvati giggling either. As for Lavender…she just looks like she finds everything fun…or something."

"Well, I see something different." Hermione murmured, "I'm different from them. I'm not interested in boys or make-up and I'm not interested in looking fashionable."

"Er…okay?" Harry hadn't brought any of that stuff up though…

…..

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…..

"Miss Brown?" Snape approached Lavender during supper in the Great Hall.

"Yes, actually Satan?" Lavender looked up at him with wide 'I didn't do anything, I'm innocent' eyes.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to see you. In his office."
"Ah." Lavender had been expecting this, "Now? Or when I'm done my soup?"
"Now, Brown." Snape sneered at her.

Lavender got up from her seat. She paused a moment, then picked up her bowl of soup and carried it with her.

It could be a long meeting and there was no reason to miss out on the rest of her meal, right?

She followed carefully behind him as they exited the Great Hall and moved into the hallway.

It was quite the commute between there and the Headmaster's office.

There were a lot of stairs. So many stairs. And with a bowl of hot soup that made it more trying than it already was.

Why couldn't they just put in an elevator already?

Lavender had never actually been in the Headmaster's office before. It was guarded by a gargoyle and in order to get past it, Snape had to offer up a password.

"Caffeinated Maple-Bacon Lollipops."

How obscure. Was that a real thing? She wondered as the Gargoyle jumped aside to reveal a hidden staircase lit by dim torchlight.

Ugh! More stairs?

They'd climbed seven sets already!

Lavender's eleven-year-old lungs were trying to keep up (and they say wizards are lazy, ha!).

When they reached the top of the stairs, a heavy, wooden door awaited them.

"Come in." The headmaster's voice drifted from inside.

Snape opened the door and the two of them walked inside.

"Miss Brown – is that soup?" Dumbledore regarded the girl curiously.

Snape looked over at her suddenly. He closed his eyes. He'd been doing his best to ignore her and hadn't actually looked back over at her as they'd been walking.

"Well, you did catch me in the middle of supper." Lavender told him, "May I sit? I feel like this is going to be one of those long conversations."
"Of course." Dumbledore offered her the chair across from him.

Lavender took a seat, setting her soup down and quickly casting a warming charm.

She started slurping up her soup when it was done.

Yes…that was good soup.

"I should have brought some toast." She said absently.

"Miss Brown," Dumbledore began, "You gave Professor Snape some information about horcruxes. Could you tell me where you learned of such a thing?"

"Oh, that's easy." Lavender said, "Parvati told me."
Dumbledore's eyebrows rose to meet his hairline.

"Miss Patil? And how does she know…"
"She doesn't know, of course. Well, not yet." Lavender thought about this, "Parvati heard it from Hermione after they returned from hunting them. But that hasn't happened yet."
"Start making sense, Brown." Snape snapped at her.

"I am making sense." Lavender huffed, "I have memories of the future. Or what might have been the future. An alternate future?" She frowned, "Some of that stuff has happened, but some of that stuff is different now. I only remember things up until I was murdered by Fenrir Greyback, so I can't say I know if we won…sorry."

Dumbledore was staring at her as she continued eating her split pea soup (it really was good soup).

"That's why Harry Potter is now my sworn rival." Lavender said after a pause, "So, I decided to write out a contract."
She pulled out a long sheet of parchment from her robes and handed it over to Dumbledore.

He unrolled it and started reading it over.

"Ah. I believe this is intended for you, Severus." Dumbledore looked over at his potions master.

"What?" Snape wondered what could have Dumbledore, of all people looking so…baffled.

Snape's eyes narrowed at the parchment, his eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"Was this written in blood, Brown?"

"Of course, it was." Lavender frowned, "Everyone knows that when you sign a contract with the devil you have to do it in blood."
"I believe only the signature has to be in blood." Dumbledore offered.

"That's not the issue here, and I'm not the devil!" Snape hissed.

"Of course not." Lavender said placatingly, "That contract just assures that during our time learning dueling that you not condemn my soul into the fiery depths of hell, nor take my soul, eat it, or murder or harm me in any way. These conditions also apply to one Harry Potter and Padma Patil."

He was in his right to just tear the damn thing up. But then paused.

"Mimed to death? Do you perhaps mean 'maimed'?"

"I think you'll find I covered maiming as well." Lavender said seriously.

Snape drew in a deep breath,

"Let me get this straight." He looked back at the girl, "You think I'm Satan?"
"Actually Satan." Lavender corrected, "The 'actually' is important, I think."
"And you would give me, Actually Satan knowledge of the future, regardless of what I, Actually Satan might do with said knowledge?" Snape said puzzledly, "Why?"

"So I can beat my sworn rival, Harry Potter." Lavender said seriously.

Snape's eyebrow twitched again. He wasn't sure being around this girl was worth the knowledge or the edge they may get in the war.

"It says the training will last until the end of the year." He said slowly, "And then I may do what I wish with said knowledge? Regardless of whether or not it's within your best interest?"

"Totes." Lavender smirked.

"Severus?" Dumbledore looked at the man.

These were all good terms…considering.

Snape let out a growl, then picked up a quill.

"Wait!" Lavender stopped him, "You need to sign it as Severus Snape and as Satan. I don't want to take any chances."

Snape sent Dumbledore a look. The two men seemed to have a silent conversation.

Snape caved.

"Maybe the devil really should teach here. You two might get along."

It was unclear who this was intended for.

He signed the contract under both names and handed it over to Lavender Brown who really was looking quite proud of herself.

She cast the duo charm on the contract.

"Here's your copy." She handed it to Snape who took the copied parchment with some agitation.

Dumbledore cleared his throat,

"I believe the contract stipulates that you will answer some questions?"

"Yes. I can do that." Lavender agreed, "What do you want to know about? The animagus posing as a pet rat in the boys dorms who may or may not be a Death Eater? The horcruxes? The battle of Hogwarts? Remus Lupin's future wife?"

"Remus get's married?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with curiosity.

"We are not wasting questions on that werewolf!" Snape said angrily.

He'd already been forced to sign that ridiculous contract with Brown.

"Yes, of course. Perhaps another time." Dumbledore decided, "What was it you said about an animagus?"
"Ah, yes." Lavender said, "I don't know the whole story there, I'm afraid. Ron brought this pet rat to school with him. Scabbers. He's actually a Death Eater in disguise. At least, I think he was. I only remember Ron and Harry getting really angry whenever it was brought up. I think it had something to do with Sirius Black." She frowned, "Yes…in a few years, after Sirius Black was murdered…The man had escaped Azkaban, see. He led the aurors on this big chase and dropped all these hints. He'd been innocent the entire time, apparently. The real perpetrator was some man called Pettigrew who had faked his death. I don't really know if the rat animagus is Pettigrew. I'm kind of guessing at it. I only know he's bad."

Dumbledore drew in a sharp breath, he looked over at Snape who had tensed up considerably.

"We will take care of it, Miss Brown." Dumbledore decided, "Severus." He looked at his potions master."

"I'll contact the aurors." Snape nodded, then moved over to the fireplace to floo the authorities.