A Renaissance of Passion

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Continuation of the Fic, A Long Way Home, picks up immediately after the ending. Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

Previously

"Well, I'm sorry as well that I slipped behind your back to start your Mom's scholarship fund, but after I talked to your Dad, I knew it was the right thing to do. He actually told me that I shouldn't take things so personally, that you always did things your own way, or I think he put it "She's a Rebel, just like her Grandfather, hard to tame, but well worth it once you two get your act together.

"She loves you Son, you don't see it, but as a Dad, you know we see things without ever hearing a word, and I know she's head over heels in love with you. If I'm any judge of character, which I am, I know you love her too. The question for you is how much? Enough to forgive her for all the hurt, and believe me, she owns all that, but do you love her enough to forgive and start a life that would make you both happy, or are you as stubborn as she is, willing to give up a life of love for who was right or wrong?"

"My Dad said all that? It's a miracle if any of my dates ever got past the death glare, or a good evening from him, he hated Josh, more than any of the previous ones. I think he knew he was cheating on me, and couldn't bring himself to tell me, a struggle he held in and hurt him, just as I hurt you."

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Chapter 4

Four Seasons Hotel

Rick's Suite,

Day Break, Next Day Cont'd.

Rick went to the door, flipped the Do Not Disturb sign on from the inside, which also prevented the maid's key from being able to access the room. They had waited this long; he would be damned if he let anyone or anything mess it up. When he returned to the bedroom, Kate was standing, waiting for him in the same state as when he left. He enjoyed undressing her first with his eyes, how many times had he done that before, then slowly they undressed each other.

"Rick, please be gentle, I don't remember the last time I was intimate with anyone, I was holding out for you. It took me a while but I finally got my head together, and now I want you, all of you slowly and all day long." She nibbled his ear as they made their way onto the mattress, Rick clearing the covers to the floor with one swoop of his hand.

"I will Babe, I will let me make love to you, I don't know how many times I have done it in my mind but I promise you, I will be slow and gentle, God, you're so sexy", as he kissed the small pucker between her breasts left from the bullet wound. He gently ran his hands up and down her inner thighs, then her scar on her side, bending quickly to kiss it as well, and then back to her long beautiful legs. She was kissing him as he had never been kissed, and when his fingers caressed her thighs again, she trembled with excitement.

The first round ended too soon for both, although Rick made sure that she had seen the parade for the first time in her life, it felt like forever, and definitely was from the lover who had cherished her body for the first time. It only took a short time and both were ready for rounds two, three, and finally collapsed after round four. Each time, he made sure she felt just as much passion as he did, how he could hold back as long as he did, she would never know, and he certainly knew the spots to caress, kiss, twist gently between his fingers, and nibble on, she had never felt more spent from making love before in her life.

He pulled her close to him, she laid her head on his chest, and said, "Is this what I missed all these years by being a stubborn fool?"

"I take it my lady enjoyed just a bit," he kidded, not wanting her to kick herself any more than she already was doing.

"YOUR Lady loved every minute of it, God Rick, I never have been to those heights, before, I don't know how you did it, but Babe, please never stop." She giggled,

"Well, it's simple Kate, you're my first." He raised up on one elbow as he saw the what the hell are you talking about Rick look flash across her face as her eyebrows made their patented roll. "You are the first time I really Made Love to a woman, all the others were Sex, even if I thought they were love.

"I don't know about you, but I felt like you were part of me, that you had somehow entered my soul and we were peaking at the same moments, I've never done that with anyone before Kate. Now I know the difference between sex and making love, so thank you for loving me."

She didn't say a word, just kissed him and locked onto his eyes, she could get lost in those deep pools of blue and when he held her, looking into his eyes she knew everything was going to be fine.

She laid her head on his chest and listened to him breathe, quiet, gentle, even breaths till he had faded out into dreams, hopefully about her. She closed her eyes, her right hand on his chest, her left under her cheek as she faded into a peaceful easy sleep, one she hadn't had in years.

It was hours later before either awoke and remembered the few hours before, Rick was ready for another round but she suggested a hot soak, parts of her she didn't remember she had, ached that good lovemaking hurt, but she didn't want to overdo it their first session.

"Rick, can we continue our talk in the hot tub, I would love to be held by you when we talk, it makes even the tough memories easier to talk about. I mean, it's OK if you don't*"

She smiled as he opened the door to the extra-large jacuzzi tub, with the water already hot and the gentle settings on the jets,

He stepped in, then held his hand out to assist her into the tub, she turned to face him before sitting and started a small kiss that turned into one that was only broken for lack of air, God that man could kiss. He knew just what she loved, where, when, and how much as she sat between his legs, her back against hers. She leaned back into him and laid head into his neck, perfectly content and happy.

He massaged her gently and was careful with the zones he knew that would trigger her passion once again, his fingers kneading out the tension and knots she had long forgotten she had. He worshiped her body with his hands, never coming near the pulse of passion, but making her feel like it was her, only her that he was thinking of.

"Babe, I love what you're doing, God those fingers of yours, it feels so good to be held in your arms, better than I even dreamed it would." She hadn't meant to say that aloud, but from the smile on his face, he knew it anyway.

"I know, no matter what scenario I wrote, it could never compare to the last few hours, I love you, Kate, I know you love me, but Babe,"

"I know Rick, we've only begun talking, I'm not going anywhere, well now that I have more than one change of clothes, and I know this is important to us both. If we failed for any reason in the past, it was because we never talked about the things that mattered, that was my fault, but just ask me, Rick, I'll tell you the truth, even if it hurts, just promise you won't leave, I love you too."

"I promise, I never wanted to leave, you have to believe me, but when I thought you would be happier if I stepped aside, well, I"

"I know Babe, I know," She ended that conversation capturing his lips in a kiss, that poured out love, forgiveness, and a promise of new beginnings.

Xx

A few hours later, they had recuperated enough to grab some early dinner, yes, they had made love for over 4 hours, then the soak for another hour, followed by a shower, well three showers till they could finally leave the bathroom. When they returned to the room, Kate, produced two coffees she had delivered, with the name Castle on the cups, bringing back a memory of the first time he brought her cup. She yelled that his name was on it, and then quietly picked it out of the trash, and put it her Castle forever drawer.

"Kate, this is, eh, you put my name on the cups, I thought you told me you would shoot me if I ever did that again."

She bowed her head, "True confession Rick, I fished the cup out and washed it out, it's with every little thing you gave me in a big jewelry box, I call it my Castle Forever box, all my memories, and souvenirs you probably have forgotten about, I saved." She leaned in and kissed him, his mouth was already open so she filled it with her lips and tongue, as they took up their perch of the couch.

"Don't get me wrong Kate, I love talking to you in bed or the tub, but we will never get through all the things we need to talk about, well I know I can't keep my hands off you, I would love to see that box someday" he said still in shock that this beautiful lady had saved the trinkets he thought she had trashed, that meant nothing to her, hell, she saved them. A smile came across his face.

She smiled, "Of course, the box is in my bedroom, I'd love to show it all to you" she didn't need to explain, they both knew exactly what she was saying.

"And I would love to christen your bedroom, it will be more romantic I'm sure." He smiled and kissed her hand

"Well, that's setting the bar pretty high, but you know I would really like to try to see if we can beat this time" as she kissed him, then patted his hand, "Now we have to get back to the talk, we both need this Rick"

"You're right babe, I think we left off at, well you were in the hospital" Rick looked suddenly sad,

"Hey, I'm right here, OK, I'm fine, look at me Rick, I'm OK, let's celebrate that we have this chance even as close as we've come to destroying what to me is so beautiful, no sadness Babe, I'm here, I'm fine, you're holding me." She took his arms and wrapped around her as she leaned back into him, and felt him relax.

"I don't remember much for those three days, I know Beth had bribed one of the staff and she received updates on the hour from them, some she passed along, some she said later it was better to leave them unsaid, I guess you had a couple of rough spells, that's all she would say."

"Yeah, well, I crashed again, Lanie was visiting with my Dad and she saw the signs, and had the Code Blue team in my room before I actually went into distress. I know she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I owe her, and you my life. That was how she got me to come to the Haunt, she shamed me, told me 'I save your skinny ass and you can't do me one damn favor, OK, Kate Beckett, now that I know how it is' Kate did a pretty good impression of Lanie. She smiled but tears were in her eyes.

"Beth told me to get to the Hospital and to expect the worse, but by the time I got there, you were back, Lanie told me it was now up to your body to recover, nothing I could do.

"She told me in no uncertain terms, "She loves you, Rick, you don't or won't see it, sure she fucked up, but so did you, writer man, many times, get over it. She's not perfect, but you and her, well that's as close to perfect love as I have ever seen. It's too bad both your feelings of pride are too big to admit to each other you're better off with each other and work it out."

Kate smiled, "She never gave up on me either, even when you were in England, she still bugged the hell out of me."

"Well, I was really relieved when I got her call that you had been calling for me, I mean, I was just about to send Beth back and I stay until you regained consciousness, I couldn't not be there when you woke up. Then I got the call, I think I was there in less than an hour." He smiled, as she reached back and took his hand in hers, holding on tight.

"I know the next part is going to be rough Rick, but we need to talk about it, OK Babe? Really, I'll be fine, I'm with you now, please don't hold back."

"Well, when you were shot, the boys were busy trying to find out what they could, I gathered my family and met Lanie, you and your Dad here. They wouldn't tell us anything, but finally, your Dad got called by the doctor and asked me to come with him. I asked if Lanie could come, hell it was good she did, I think I understood one out of every five words they said, but then they told me to go home and wait.

"Well, I really didn't have much choice since I wasn't family, hell I wasn't your partner according to Espo, I lost that when I went running off to England, he spat at me. If you had been healthy, I would have, well, Espo needs to have his ass handed to him a few times, but it looks like his macho-man image cost him the love of his life, damn fool." He looked off into the distance,

"Who Rick, Espo, or Us, weren't we doing the same thing, like him just not as overtly, I mean I had so many chances to tell you what you meant to me, I let every one of them get past me." Tears came to her eyes, as she took his hand and gently kissed the back, then started rubbing small circles on it so gently.

"Do you remember what you said to me when I came to the hospital, you seemed so shocked to see me," Rick asked,

"I think it was, you came, you really came, I wasn't sure what time, what day, or really anything more than I wanted, no I needed to see you to make sense out of everything going on. I really wasn't sure you would, Lanie tried to break it to me gently telling me that she wasn't sure if you had left for England, so don't get my hopes up" the tears pool a little more, as she takes a deep breath, leaning against her source of strength.

"I told you of course I came, any good partner would, I think Espo's words were still burning inside me. Then you told the lie, that you didn't remember, I knew you did, you could never lie to me. I wanted to give you a chance, to tell the truth, I didn't want to go back to England with a lie the last thing between us, I'm sorry I was so tough, you had just woken up,"

"Rick, we both know, that if you hadn't called me on that lie, things would never have turned out this way, you hate a lie more than anything, and I had a great track record of telling them to you so it was important I was honest.

"I knew in my heart, that Beth was the one who was there for you, the way I should have been. I knew when you told me that "I thought I loved you in my mind, but to check with my therapist things were really worse than I thought, you left, I wanted to tell you then, I loved you, but you left"

"If I hadn't left then I never would have Kate, I was oh so close to just cave as I had done every other time, and I knew that it would never work, not with lies between us."

"Can I ask where you went Rick, I mean you were really upset, you never usually went home till you had time to calm down," she looked up, and saw his blue eyes cloud with the tears he was fighting like hell not to let loose,

"I went to say goodbye to Roy, it was a lot harder than I thought, and I met Evelyn there. The lady just lost her husband, and she was there to comfort me, I had to make sure I talked to him one last time, even if others thought I was crazy."

"I understand Rick, I really do." She comforted him,

"Well when you were meeting him at that hangar, he called me and convinced me to come and get you out, we had an awful fight, I called him a coward, and said a lot of things I wish I hadn't but he never flinched, his one goal was to get me there to get you out," Rick said with tears in his voice,

"Rick, he knew, he knew we both would be angry, but he also knew that we loved each other and it was his way to take care of us both, he gave his life, trying to make his one big mistake right, I still love him and think of him as my hero."

"Well, I need to tell you something now Kate, it's my own lie, and all I can say is I'm sorry, but I would do it all over again, to have this time with you. If you get angry with me, I'll understand, but Babe, PLEASE, no running, not far, please promise me that?"

"Rick, you're worrying me now, Babe, I'm here, I forgive you for whatever it is that is eating at you so badly, it's not important, not anymore. I know who, and what is the most important part of my life, please Babe, just tell me, I'm not running."

"Well I know how badly you wanted to solve your Mother's case, how hard you worked, and well"

"Rick, it was solved before I got back on my feet, Jordan Shaw and her team took Bracken and the whole crew down,"

"I know, but "Kate, look I'm sorry I didn't let you have the win, but some information fell into my lap, I can't say how even to this day, but I knew if I gave it to you, it might have cost you your life, I couldn't live with that. I called Jordan, well actually I called Tom, who I think you figured out was a friend of mine from college, then talked to Jordy.

"She advised against including you, it seemed that had been conduction their own investigation, and the information I provided just gave them the proof they needed. I know I promised that someday you and I would solve it, and I let you down, so I'm so sorry about that, but I would do it again to save your life.

" I'm sorry Kate, I really am but"

"So, it was you that sent the file to Jordan, the one that I searched for years, and you sent it to her to solve," Kate's face flushed, and her fists balled,

Rick nodded, and waited, for what he didn't know but he had to tell her.

TBC